Nov/06
2016

Yep. Just fuck it. I'm going to go drink. Peace out bitches.

Nov/05
2016

Is Tech Support Getting Better?

I'm used to tech support not being any help. Turn it off and turn in on again. No shit, don't treat me like I'm an idiot.

I was pleasantly surprised when u235 posted about a positive result from tech support recently. Now I can contribute my own success story. Are things actually getting better or am I getting older to the point where now I'm "that idiot" and I don't even realize it?

Anyway. My story. Downloaded game. Installed game. The game is WildStar. WildStar runs through a launcher. Launcher loads. 30 minutes of patching later because, idk, why NOT include the latest patch in install? Whatever. Everything is finally downloaded and there is a shiny "Play" button on the launcher. I click it. The launcher disappears. Nothing happens.

I tried everything. You name it. Run as Admin. Manually adding ports and firewall rules. Compatibility mode. Single monitor with vanilla resolution. Uninstall/reinstall. Verifying files. Blah blah blah. In case you can't get into my head space on this one, it is tremendously frustrating to click "Play" and then have nothing at all happen. No error, no screen flicker, fucking nothing. It was infuriating.

So I contact WildStar support. They responded quickly and reasonably. I shipped them some log files, no big deal. They asked me to try a few things and it actually worked. Stopping all non-Window's services, disabled all startup programs, Winsock reset, and some others. After it was working I slowly started turning things on until I found the thing that was stopping my game. Fucking NVIDIA. Apparently, if you like NVIDIA enough to give them lots of money, they shower you with extras like the NVIDIA Capture Server Proxy. Whatever this thing actually is, if it's on your machine I recommend taking it off. Once I killed that asshole everything worked fine.

Sigh, so what now, now I can play the game.

Nov/04
2016

Today was fucking awesome.

Stage 1: House to major artery. School buses now have to stop every 15 feet because children can't clump together. The little darlings get to stand at the end of their driveways, regardless of the sidewalk, grass or driveways that adjoin them. This means that the bus goes about 3 car lengths and stop again. The bus will also WAIT for the freeking kid to appear from inside the house. This is going to sound old, tired and cliche but FUCKING KIDS THESE DAYS HAVE IT SO EASY.

Stage 2: Major artery via side road to second major artery. THE FUCKING POLICE ARE MORONS IN MY AREA. So the side road connects two major arteries. People trek down it regularly. This morning, however, the police parked across the road, blocking it off WHILE EVERYONE DROVE DOWN THEN HAD TO TURN AROUND AND WAIT IN A MULTI-MILE LONG LINE TO DRIVE BACK OUT. Detour? No. Close the road so people don't mistakenly head down it and WASTE 25 FUCKING MINUTES OF THEIR LIFE? Fuck no. DO NOTHING AND JUST BLOCK THE ROAD WITH ONE COP CAR WHILE THE WORLD PILES UP AROUND THEM FOR HOURS? Yes! Clearly!

Stage 3: Major artery to highway. Gridlock. Kthnks. Backed up onto the ramp. Happy day.

Stage 4: Highway to road to work. This is part major artery, part a wide pipeline right into the offices. I get behind the "NICE GUY" who needs to stop for fucking everyone else EXCEPT THE MILLION MILE HORDE OF CARS BACKED UP BEHIND HIM. Gotta love these folks, they make themselves feel so good about holding up everyone in back of them as they wave across this person or that. Also there's this awesome bike route that stops all traffic, wasting about 100x the amount of gas while stopping 75 cars for 2 rollerbladers. Kinda awesome that.

Stage 5: Parking. I got a spot. Not guaranteed because hell, why should the people who do the work actually be able to get to where they need to do the work? Not clear on that one.

Yeah, it's awesome. And while today was a bit worse than usual, the drive to work generally pretty sucky. Thus the rant.

Nov/03
2016

It used to be that there was only one thing I really protested at first thing in the morning and that was chest hair. Ok, getting out of bed, bathroom, shower sure. But once dressed and in the kitchen, chest hair is a no-no with tea and biscuits. I make this known.

Then the other morning while driving to work I discovered that chest hair is not thing I'm against being exposed to. On the highway, stuck in traffic, some thing had been reduced to gibbets. With bits of fur attached. Yeah, no. No gibs please, not before tea and biscuits. Blarf.

Nov/02
2016

So I have a 9am conference call with the "team". Note that the "team" are not co-located in any way, shape or form. As the leader of said meeting I book things for an hour, because that's the longest I believe anything should take but typically my meetings are much shorter. In fact today's meeting only took 17 minutes.

What's my secret? Here they are:

1. Prepare. Get all your shit together that you want to say the day before. Make sure you have 30 slides or less for a 1 hour presentation (if you're actually going to talk that long).

2. Cut to the point. A review of last week is fine if you can keep it to 1 page. The more concepts (not words, CONCEPTS) you can cram into a single sentence the better. Instead of saying "The part is blue; the part is expensive; only one person makes the part" try "vendor X has limited quantities of part Y in blue."

3. It's better to have more shorter meetings than 1 longer meeting after a longer period of time. Know the phrase "out of sight out of mind?" Yeah, it's a thing. Regular, quick, to the point. People feel on top of stuff and you have less to review AND present.

4. Get there early and start on time. No blathering.

So blam - 9 am we start, (I actually booted up at 8:45 and spent 15 minutes talking about random stuff) and 9:17 we're done. "I'm giving you back 45 minutes of your life."

As I'm shutting down the system I hear one group say "I like short meetings." "Yes, we all do." I managed to get in just before the software finished closing. The laughter from everyone was a nice way to end the meeting.

Nov/01
2016

Don't know about the rest of you but I've had enough. I saw an interesting (for a change) poll yesterday that said over 80% of the people polled were sick to death of hearing about the election. Count me in that majority.

So, for the next seven days I'm going to write about anything EXCEPT the fucking thing I just mentioned above. Because it's my blog and I can find plenty to whine about without wanting to stab myself in the face repeatedly.

Ok so, today sucked. Most days suck recently, partly the task at hand and more due to the people I work for. Ignorance combined with willful self-illusion equals life-in-hell. Don't get me wrong, I'm tough, generally I can take it, but when the Boss has no grasp of reality, the client doesn't know or understand what they've bought and the co-sponsor hates everyone and their dog - well needless to say that the Twain just won't meet anywhere. It's bicker-city and it makes the blind men and their elephant resemble Micky Rooney with a chihuahua because my problems are more like the guy who played Jaws groping a velociraptor. Can you say "not fun"? Can you say "all my money is going for booze?" Can you say "it's more fun having root canal than trying to answer email"? Of course you can!

But then there's the whole "getting paid" part and "man it fucking sucks having to change jobs". Yes, there's that. But, change is good I guess, and challenging yourself is part of what keeps a person from getting stale and stagnant.

So yeah, work sucks and it's not going to get better any time soon. There you go - rant day 1. Stay tuned for tomorrow when we hear our hero say "ARGJKFDS*&$#*(&*(%$#%FUCKEVERYTHINGANDTHEIRCAMEL."

w00t!

Oct/31
2016

So I'm minding my own business, not doing much just toodling around online and "bring-a-ding-a-ling" but my OS has a new message for me. My! What can it be?

"Microsoft Edge is faster than Chrome, for reals!"

C'mon Microsoft, is this really what you're resorting to? Spamming your captive audience with bullshit advertisements to make them gag on even more of your dick-ware? So here's my answer for you: "No. No, no, no a thousand times no. Also... no."

I like Chrome, and just because you have my money for my OS does NOT mean you get it for every fucking other thing as well. So suck off assholes. I mean it.

Oct/30
2016

So tail lights. I have a thing about examining them, trying to (in some cases) imagine what the designer had in mind. Some are easy, the new Jeep Renegade has this adorable square-button with a little cross-stitched "X" in the middle. Reminds one of a Raggedy Ann doll, really. Probably not what the artist had conceived, but hey, cute (as a button) nonetheless.

Then there's what I call the drawer-pull tail light. Looks like the handle on cupboard with all the kitchen utensils. Simple, plain, nothing to write home about. Boring is not the same as succinct, but hey, we can't all be graphic artists now can we?

The coaster. Square with a round ring or just plain round. Actually I could have stopped at just plain. Rings can be interesting sometimes, when they overlap, but mostly these are just plopped on top of each other like the blobs of a snowman.

The blob. These check the box where the designer was told "we need tail lights, they go in the corners." And yes, yes they did. That's about all they did.

For a while Volvo was putting their tail lights on their wagons up so high they'd blend with the traffic lights. It was different, sure, and attention grabbing, but I notice that the lights have migrated back south. I guess the cold weather didn't really suit them after all.

Dental tools. This is what is being sported on the rear of the 2016 Toyota Prius. Gigantic, covered in blood, dental tools. I'll say it caught my attention, but I won't say it did it in a good way. Brrrrrrr.

Animated tail lights. I think it's the mustangs that have these. They blink in sequence when used for signalling a direction. Very Knight Rider. If you get that reference then you're way too old and probably need help chewing your food. You probably also think that getting into a car like that would involve medical assistance. You're probably right.

Paperclips, horseshoes and fishhooks. My but we've come a long way since the introduction of the LED. Some designers are actually doing creative things to highlight the lines of the car (well Toyota tried but they never examined the result). I applaud this. It's a good thing, getting away from the coasters and blobs. It also probably means that replacing said devices when the asshole behind you forgets to brake costs a crapload, but hey, it's all for the sake of modern something-something right?

Tail lights. Thanks for reading, bet you won't look at them the same any more...

Oct/28
2016

Ok really WHAT THE EVER LIVING FUCK IS GOING ON? I just watched maybe 30 minutes of TV and in that time I saw a "new" version of Monopoly that does away with the SIMPLE ACT OF ADDING AND SUBTRACTING because.. I can't believe this shit... BECAUSE IT USES A CREDIT CARD. OMFG REALLY? Now you can play monopoly and not EVEN have an elementary school education. A fucking 9 month old can play now. Yay. Let's encourage kids to be morons by eliminating even the most basic mental exercises.

But wait - WHY THE FUCK EXERCISE AT ALL? Now you can get your kid a fucking battery powered WHEELCHAIR for the holidays too! YES FOR FUCKING REAL. I mean the whole POINT of these fucking toys is to let kids burn off their energy through EXERCISE. Using their arms, legs, chin, whothefuckcares what, but using some muscles to develop coordination and have fun. Now they can just sit back in a BATTERY POWERED WHEELCHAIR AND DO JACKFUCKINGDIDDLY.

Can you fucking BELIEVE THIS SHIT?!?!?!?

Toy companies must die. All of them. They're destroying the future of humanity. This christmas save humanity, give your youngsters rocks, sticks and maybe a cardboard box. They'll have fun anyway.

Oct/26
2016

Poor, marginalized white guy is mad mad mad that someone dared call out his bro-pal. Boy is HE going to show HER who's boss!

Donald Trump has congratulated Newt Gingrich on his spat with TV anchor Megyn Kelly, whom the former house speaker said was "fascinated" with sex.

Mr Gingrich claimed Ms Kelly showed "bias" for mentioning the groping allegations against Mr Trump.
Mr Trump praised Mr Gingrich's comments while breaking from the campaign to open his new hotel in Washington, DC.

"Congratulations," he said. "That was an amazing interview last night...We don't play games, Newt".
Mr Gingrich appeared on Fox News on Tuesday on behalf of Mr Trump in what resulted in a heated exchange between him and Ms Kelly.

The spat concluded when Ms Kelly ended the interview and told Mr Gingrich to "take your anger issues and spend some time working on them". (BBC)

Yeah, it's "bias" to mention that Trump was caught on tape boasting about how easy and fun it was to stick his hands in women's cunts. Real bias. Because, you know, people might actually not LIKE Der Donald when they hear what he has to say. Bias. Because real women are OK with letting men treat them like sex toys.

Of course it's Megyn's fault that she actually brought this up. Because BIAS! What she should have been bringing up was the fact that the opposing candidate's husband cheated and lied about cheating. Not that HE's running for president (again). But it says TONS about the person who is because everyone knows that when one person in the relationship cheats on the other then they're BOTH guilty as fuck.

Funny how that doesn't make any sense when you type it out, right?

Yes Newt, you with your STERLING record of not-cheating, not-divorcing your IN THE HOSPITAL WIFE AT THE TIME becauyse "She's not young enough or pretty enough to be the wife of the President. And besides, she has cancer." Yeah you're mr. fucking PERFECT aren't you?

No, you're a tiny tool and as Megyn pointed out, you can't even control the shit that comes out of your mouth. If you want to go suck Trump's dick, please, feel free. Just do it in private ok?

Oct/25
2016

Because religion is far, far more important than a woman's health or sanity.

WARSAW, Poland (AP) -- Polish women gathered Monday in cities across the country to protest a proposal to ban abortions in cases where fetuses are badly damaged or have no chance of survival after birth.[..]

The women, joined by many men, have returned to the streets in response to a new proposal by Jaroslaw Kaczynski, the head of the ruling Law and Justice party. Earlier this month, he said his party wants to ensure that even pregnancies involving a child "certain to die, very deformed, still end up in a birth, so that the child can be baptized, buried, have a name.

If it's just a matter of how remains are treated then there's no reason why a woman must be exposed to risk of carrying an nonviable fetus. The remains must be named and baptized? Sure, go right ahead. But the idea of compelling a woman to be a walking coffin for a fetus that is guaranteed to die is beyond cruel. It only prolongs the agony for everyone.

Poland needs a divorce from the church and polish women need to make a stand for their rights. Telling a woman what she can and can't do with her body, her life isn't what a government is for (contrary, of course, to what conservative fuckwads like to think).

Here's hoping that polish women make a stand and make a difference, both for themselves and their daughters. Here's also hoping that the fucking patriarchy gets one shoved up their ultra-tight assholes.

Oct/24
2016

I'm Never Just Kidding

I'm so excited for my family to come visit. I had such a good weekend with old friends with whom I have so much in common. My bosses usually make good decisions. I hate the cold. I miss summer. Math is dumb. Sports are awesome. I wish I owned more flannel (and I know the difference between flannel and plaid).

Poe's Law is no joke.

Poe's Law

Is introducing Poe's law an indicator of Poe's law at work? I'll leave that to the reader as an exercise.

PS, It is not wise to confuse Poe's law with Lewis's Law. People don't like it at all.

Lewis's Law

Don't we just all love people on the internet (Including ourselves) ...

Oct/23
2016

Maybe a smilie at the end would have helped provide context?

BARRINGTON, R.I. (AP) -- A Rhode Island man who penned a letter to a newspaper complaining about women wearing yoga pants says it was meant to be humorous and he doesn't have an issue with yoga pants. He even owns a pair.

Alan Sorrentino tells WPRO-AM (http://bit.ly/2euKOXY) he had hoped the letter published Oct. 19 in the Barrington Times would be enjoyed as a break from the current political campaign rhetoric.

But the letter generated a huge outcry and a group of women say they'll parade through Sorrentino's neighborhood Sunday afternoon dressed in yoga pants.[..]

He says he's received death threats, sharing with the radio station several expletive-laden voicemails. Sorrentino likened the harassment to threats he's received over the years as an openly gay man.

What Alan faces here is something many, many men suffer from all over the world: poor timing. With the whole "Nasty Woman" thing going around, threats against women who complain against being harassed, women being murdered for posting selfies that their nation feels is inappropriate, other women being raped to death or incest being overlooked it's hard to find a "ha ha" moment these days when it comes to misogyny.

So I'd offer this advice, dude, the NEXT time you decide to liven things with a "joke" make sure people know you're joking ok? Because right now it seems as if the backlash has turned your "harmless opinion piece" into a life lesson about not poking an angry bear. I'd say your best choice right now is a strong mea culpa and a life of ensuing anonymity.

Unless Trump wins...

Oct/22
2016

Because, you know, who the fuck cares about little girls. Their future is only to be sluts or whores.

A judge in the US state of Montana, who gave a 60-day jail term to a man for having sex with his 12-year-old daughter, has faced growing calls for his removal.

The 40-year-old father of three's sentence also included a 30-year suspended prison term.

District Judge John McKeon has defended himself, saying the victim's mother and grandmother opposed a jail sentence.[..]

The judge also cited a letter from the victim's mother, in which she acknowledged the "horrible" nature of the crime, but asked for leniency.[..]

"He has two sons that still love him and need their father in their lives, even with very understandable restrictions. I would like to see my children have an opportunity to heal the relationship with their father.

Abusers raising more abusers aided and abetted by former victims, that's what you're seeing here. A mother AND grandmother saying to the judge "oh please go easy on this MAN because his SONS need him and his daughter is already damaged goods and not worth consideration." And guess what? It worked! The judge said "Yeah, huh, you bitches know your place don'cha!"

Yeah raping your pre-teen daughter isn't a big deal in Montana in 2016, nor really is it going to be a big deal in Trmup-merica where grabbing women by the pussy and molesting them is:

a) their fault
b) the right of every red-blooded American (only males need apply)
c) a point of pride because it means you're successful
d) all of the above

Gotta love it. Yes vote Trump so more daughters can be thrown in the trash like they deserve.

Oct/21
2016

There's Young and Stupid and then there's Just Plain Fucked-in-the-head Stupid. Guess which label applies to Kristen?

AUSTIN, Texas, Oct. 19 (UPI) -- A Texas veterinarian's license was suspended for one year by the state for killing a cat with a bow and arrow and then bragging about it online.

The Texas Board of Veterinary Medical Examiners suspended Kristen Lindsey's license for one year and is requiring her to participate in continuing education on animal welfare. She will be on probation for four years once the suspension is over.

Lindsey posted a photo of herself on Facebook proudly holding the cat, a tabby named Tiger, with an arrow through its head.

"My first bow kill, lol," she said in the post. "The only good feral tomcat is one with an arrow through its' head. Vet of the year award... gladly accepted."

Imagine that, as someone who went to school to heal sick and injured animals, posting a smiling selfie holding up an orange tabby-tiger impaled in the head by an arrow. That's TOTALLY the person I'd want helping my family pets. "Awww honey, Fluffy isn't going to make it, but I'll let you pick out which arrow we can use to shoot her with, how about this pretty pink one?"

Ok, Kristen? You're a fucking tragedy of humanity. It comes as no surprise that you're from Texas, where stupid isn't just a way of life, it's a uniting principle. Fuck you, you dumb cunt, never heard of trap and neuter? Probably not. I question any institution that gave YOU accreditation.

Oct/20
2016

Gotta love Delta, must be getting ready for Trump season, where only white men can be in charge.

A black doctor was left frustrated after her credentials were questioned when she tried to help a patient on an internal US flight.

Dr Tamika Cross, an obstetrician-gynaecologist, said a Delta Air Lines crew member told her: "Oh no sweetie, put your hand down, we are looking for actual physicians." (BBC)

A black woman? Doctor? Well goddamn how did SHE slip through? I mean really, you would think that looking past her resume, qualifications, job experience and SUCCESS at some point someone would have said "Hey, wait, whoa, bitches can't be REAL doctors, much less black bitches."

Yeah, this is the reality of what "making america great" is all about. The question is, great for who?

Oct/19
2016

When faced with the LITERAL description of the Antichrist, true believers will try and vote him into office. When faced with someone NOTHING like the devil, people will shoot to kill. It's a fucked up world.

PHILADELPHIA (AP) -- A man has been ordered to stand trial on charges he killed his newlywed wife with a crossbow in their Philadelphia home.[..] Prosecutors at the preliminary hearing played a videotaped statement in which Kuzan said he thought his wife "was Satan" and thought "the Apocalypse was about to start."

So a husband can take a crossbow to his bride and yet no one feels a bit disturbed at a man with brimstone colored skin and a gold toupee running for president even if he fits the LITERAL description of the antichrist.

As to the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ and our being gathered together to him, we beg you, brothers and sisters, not to be quickly shaken in mind or alarmed, either by spirit or by word or by letter, as though from us, to the effect that the day of the Lord is already here. Let no one deceive you in any way; for that day will not come unless the rebellion comes first and the lawless one is revealed, the one destined for destruction. He opposes and exalts himself above every so-called god or object of worship, so that he takes his seat in the temple of God, declaring himself to be God.

? 2 Thessalonians 2:1?4 NRSV (1989)

I am your voice, said Trump. I alone can fix it. I will restore law and order. He did not appeal to prayer, or to God. He did not ask Americans to measure him against their values, or to hold him responsible for living up to them. He did not ask for their help. He asked them to place their faith in him. (the Atlantic)

And in case you've still any doubt, consider the seven deadly sins...

A proud (vain) look
A lying tongue.
Hands that shed innocent blood
A heart that deviseth wicked acts
Feet that be swift in running to mischief
A false witness that speaketh lies
He that soweth discord among brethren

Trump. The antichrist? No, not really. But that's only because I'm an atheist. Now if I really did believe in god then I would be scared as fuck.