Nov/28
2017

Deal Faker

Because NO ONE could really be this stupid and claim to be a successful negotiator.

Democratic congressional leaders have cancelled a meeting with President Donald Trump after he attacked them on Twitter.

The Republican president said he did not think he could reach a deal with Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer on funding the government.

The Democrats said they would negotiate with Republican lawmakers instead. (BBC)

Imagine telling your wife she was fat and ugly and her cooking sucks. Then you ask her to make you breakfast. How do you think that will go?

Yeah it's that obvious. Dickhead is not only incompetent but he's incapable of realizing how incompetent he really is. The GOP knows, however. And they're stuck with a never-ending stream of failures as a result.

Well he's YOUR president after all. Good luck with that.

Nov/27
2017

Dickhead just CAN'T resist a good troll. Thing is, he's just so bad at it.

Trump welcomed three Navajo code talkers from World War II to the Oval Office. He called them "incredible" and "very special people."

During remarks praising their service, Trump said: "We have a representative in Congress who they say was here a long time ago. They call her Pocahontas. But you know what, I like you."

The Republican president has repeatedly mocked the Massachusetts senator for claims she has made about being part Native American.

Native American leaders have called Trump's past attacks on Warren offensive and distasteful. Some Democrats have called the remark racist. (AP)

There is usually a point every parent reaches with their kids (and visa versa) where screaming "STOP EMBARRASSING ME!!!" is a thing. Well it's a thing. It has been a thing. It continues to be a thing. It used to be I just apologized to other nations for the dipshit antics of Orange The Clown. Now I have to start fucking apologizing to our OWN people.

HEY ASSHOLE DONALD. DO US ALL A SOLID AND SHUT YOUR FUCKING CAKEHOLE.

kthxbai.

Nov/26
2017

Not united, not the free, certainly not the home of the brave with fuckwads like Dickhead Donald who bypassed the draft in charge. Nope, none of the above. It's America Land of Money, Intolerance and Hate.

But that's ok. Because the bible says it's ok.

WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. (AP) -- President Donald Trump said Sunday that electing a Democrat as Alabama's next senator "would be a disaster," making clear the success of his legislative agenda outweighs widespread GOP repulsion at the prospect of seating Republican Roy Moore, who is dogged by allegations of sexual misconduct.

The allegations, including claims that the 70-year-old Moore sexually assaulted or molested two teenage girls while he was in his 30s, have made the Dec. 12 election a referendum on "the character of the country" that transcends partisan politics, said GOP Sen. Tim Scott of South Carolina, as the party establishment cringed at Trump's latest intervention in the closely contested race.

It's not too surprising to see Dickhead Donald dragging the nation into the gutter, I mean Dickhead is ALL about the gutter, that's what he loves most. The only thing he loves more is smearing shit on anyone who MIGHT not be as rank and filthy as him. In this case he's saying that partisan politics (because, of course, there is no compromise) is MUCH more important than a socially and morally repugnant shit stain like Roy.

And all the bible waving tolls line up to say 'amen'.

I kind of feel for those in the GOP who actually go have morals, a sense of ethics, and a desire NOT to fuck over the people they represent. Because they are well and truly screwed. They have a "leader" who makes Kim Jong look like Hubert Humphrey and a following that resembles the Walking Dead on a good day (with bouffant hair and bibles included).

Sorry GOP, maybe things will get better. But probably not before they get much, much worse.

Nov/25
2017

Someone mentioned to me that there was a bit of tension during their Thanksgiving because of the NFL. The "macho" types didn't want to watch because their delicate sensibilities might be offended during the National Anthem. The person mentioning this to me was lamenting how dreadful it was that things like sports had become politicized and uncomfortable.

I reminded them that sometimes it's necessary to be uncomfortable because it reminds people that change is needed. Like drawing attention to segregation. Like drawing attention to women's suffrage. Without mass and public discomfort the US would STILL be run exclusively by greedy, rich, self-centered white men.

I'm not saying we don't have a long way to go, but it's better than it was. We just need to remind those who falter, that we can't give up. The future is at stake.

So to anyone who complains about how uncomfortable the tension makes them in watching the national anthem at a football game, just remember, this nation was founded on protest, from the first colonies until today. Discomfort is good, it builds character and forces change, even if that change is just turning off the TV.

Nov/24
2017

Although consumerism has crept steadily into the meaning of thanksgiving, it still can't beat turkey, stuffing, cranberry, potatoes and gravy. And while I'm not a fan of people bringing their electronics to dinner, if it means you can get your precious shopping done and NOT leave the table? Well ok by me.

Hopefully online shopping will crush the retail giants expectations for in-store only sales. Maybe Fuckmart and other big box stores will actually revert to allowing their employees a proper holiday at home. Where they belong.

Nov/23
2017

Burp.

That is all.
Nov/22
2017

Dickhead Donald wants voters to choose a rapist and child molester, because it's better than voting for a Democrat.

Trump didn't explicitly say he was endorsing Moore, but he said with emphasis, "We don't need a liberal person in there. ... We don't need somebody who's soft on crime like Jones." (AP)

Yes the fucking PRESIDENT would prefer someone who has admitted to dating teenagers when he was 30, assaulted multiple women, harassed women, broken the law, been kicked out of the judiciary MULTIPLE times to someone from the other party. That's evil, sick and criminal in my mind. Even the GOP won't put up with a criminal, and have threatened to kick him out if he does win.

Dickhead, you just keep finding ways to out do yourself, I'll grant you that. You are indeed the GREATEST mistake the US has ever made.

Nov/22
2017

I'm getting real fucking tired of typing: "Can you believe this guy is a priest?" And I'm also getting real fucking tired of shitbags defending a criminal using the bible as an excuse.

"There ought to be a statute of limitations on this stuff. How these gals came up with this, I don't know. They must have had some sweet dreams somewhere down the line. Plus, there are some 14-year-olds who, the way they look, could pass for 20." —Pastor Earl Wise, defending Judge Roy Moore

Earl you're fucking evil. You are NOT a pastor and Jesus would NOT say that fucking a child is ok because she looks older. It is NOT OK. It is NOT OK when a woman says "NO". The bible does NOT provide excuses. The bible does NOT condone attacking or belittling victims. The bible does NOT say you do EVIL just to maintain a political majority. The bible does NOT say you can be a child-molester so long as you espouse conservative practices.

PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH YOU SHITSTAIN.

Btw, you're going to hell, you do know that right?

Nov/21
2017

A Penny For A Penis

And honestly I doubt anyone would even pay that bounty if it were offered. Probably because it's way too small to find.

NEW DELHI (AP) -- A member of India's Hindu nationalist ruling party offered 100 million rupees ($1.5 million) to anyone who beheads the lead actress and the director of an unreleased Bollywood film "Padmavati" rumored to depict a relationship between a Hindu queen and a Muslim ruler.

Suraj Pal Amu, a Bharatiya Janata Party leader from the northern state of Haryana, offered the bounty against actress Deepika Padukone and filmmaker Sanjay Leela Bhansali on Sunday. The film's producers postponed the release of the film, which was set to be in theaters Dec. 1, and Amu was reported by local media to have said at a public rally that the film would not be allowed to be released at all.

Suraj Pal Amu, whom we will just call Small Penis Asshole for now, has his panties in a bunch over a FICTIONAL character from history. Yes, that FICTIONAL queen decided to set herself on fire for some stupid-ass reason, but regardless of that, he wants the actress and director MURDERED for depicting the queen in a film.

Small Penis Asshole should not be in politics, he should also be thrown in jail. Or, maybe someone can offer a counter-bounty on his dick. Which might be pretty hard to find. It's still probably bigger than his brain.

Nov/20
2017

Hard to imagine that this guy is affiliated with religion right? Blaming women for being sex fiends; only said by virtually every big-box religion ever.

"More women are sexual predators than men. Women are chasing young boys up and down the road." —Pastor Franklin Raddish, defending Roy Moore

Like that? It's OK for Randy Roy to pursue teenage ass, because like, the Bible says it's OK... and because women chase young boys.

Um, where? When? And do they catch them? Has anyone witnessed this or is it just more patriarchal justification for criminal behavior?

Yeah, we know the answer to that.

In other "I wish it were fake news" tRump spokeswoman takes BACK her claim that molesting young girls is bad.

Asked if she was encouraging people to vote for Moore, Conway avoided the question, saying: "I'm telling you that we want the votes in the Senate to get this tax bill through." (AP)

Like that? It's not indulgences that give you a get-out-of-jail-free card for being a criminal pervert, it's running for GOP office. Because then you can do whatever you like to whomever you like. And if the president says it, it must be true. (He said that also.)

Nov/19
2017

Medieval moron from middle east is a fucking moron. That's really not news. It's the few guys who aren't morons who are actually newsworthy.

As contestants for Miss Universe 2017 gather in Las Vegas, it's no surprise many have been grabbing photo opportunities together.

However, when Miss Iraq, Sarah Eedan, posted a selfie with fellow contestant Miss Israel, Adar Gandelsman, they may not have realised how mixed reaction would be on social media.

Ms Gandelsman shared a similar photo on her Instagram account calling Miss Iraq "amazing". Her post was liked nearly 3,000 times. [..]

Asaad Abukhalil, a professor based in the US, tweeted: "The beauty queen of Iraq is happily posing with the beauty queen of occupation and brutality." (BBC)

Asaad is a fucking moron. He's clearly not professorial material and whomever has his contract should sincerely reconsider his worth. Any dipshit who claims to be an academic, yet spews hate-rhetoric as moronic as that deserves a boot in the ass. This is the US, not some backwater, fucked up, miserable, dirt-sucking cesspit.

  1. Ms. Israel never dropped a bomb or occupied anything
  2. Ms. Iraq and Ms. Israel were demonstrating the change they WANT for the world and should be celebrated for it

Listen, Asshole-sad, if people NEVER take a step beyond their trenches there can never be peace and stability. So instead of stomping on the tiny sprouts of peace, why not nurture it with love? I'm guessing that a) your dick is too small and b) your brain is too small to grasp this concept. Dipshit.

Nov/18
2017

Credit: My friend came up with the title accidentally.

Nov. 17 (UPI) -- Officials at a Washington state Navy base confirmed one of their aircraft was behind a contrail drawing of male genitalia spotted over a residential area.

Residents in Omak, where the image was clearly visible in the sky, snapped photos on Thursday when a Naval aircraft drew a penis and testicles in the sky using its contrails.

Reactions, of course, were predictable if mixed. Prudes screamed and yelled about something their precious darlings could see every day if they looked in their pants. Most other people just chuckled and moved on.

As my friend pointed out, many pilots just turn on their map-based recorder and then post their dick-flightpath-pics to their friends.

It's just a dick people what's the big deal? By now you'd hardly think they'd even cause a stir. I mean hell, we have a HUGE one as president.

Nov/18
2017

Guess who I'm referring to?

"Sen. Franken has admitted wrongdoing, and the president hasn't." —WH Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, on how accusations of sexual assault against Franken and Trump differ (Doons)

Someone who apologizes is the GOOD guy, you know, it's what the jury looks for in a criminal. Remorse. Acceptance of what they did.

Total fuckheads don't. They're the ones you lock up for life because they're too dangerous to be allowed in society.

Nov/17
2017

Nope. Because Dickhead Donald can even beat that.

One of President Donald Trump's judicial nominees is a ghost hunter who has written several novellas about paranormal activities.

The appointment of Brett Talley, 36, for a lifetime post as an Alabama federal judge is raising eyebrows because he has never tried a case.

It also emerged he failed to disclose on a conflict-of-interest questionnaire that his wife is a White House lawyer. (BBC)

Most presidents have the common sense to do truly stupid, egregiously nepotistic shit at the END of their second term. But not Dickhead. He's going to give prime positions to ass-cannons who are second, third and nth removed from staff that sucks his dick. In this case the unqualified husband of a white house lawyer. With a penchant for the paranormal.

You know maybe he DOES have a position he can play for Dickhead where he could be useful (and get your mind out of the gutter, I wasn't going there, I mean I could, and I usually do, but not in THIS case.) Brett could be the white house fortune teller, and astrologically connect to Regan's ghost to guide Dickhead through his trials and tribulations.

Or yah, he could just give his wife a break from the dick sucking from time to time and take over for her.

Nov/16
2017
  1. Yes.
  2. Where do I get one?

The pick-up truck sticker prompted a Facebook post by a local sheriff who asked to speak with the vehicle owner. In his post, the sheriff threatened to prosecute the owner for disorderly conduct unless she changes the sign. But free speech advocates argue the anti-Trump driver, 46-year-old Karen Fonseca, within her rights.(BBC)

Karen, I salute you. Also, where DO I get one?

Nov/16
2017

Screwing young teen girls is just fine. So says the white-male-conservative-patriarchy in Alabama. Thus is must be.

Some local lawmakers in Alabama have said it's better to have a sexual predator in office than a Democrat. One fell back on a fairly unusual biblical interpretation to justify the allegation.

Jim Zeigler, the Alabama State Auditor, told the Washington Examiner: "Take Joseph and Mary. Mary was a teenager and Joseph was an adult carpenter. They became parents of Jesus. There's just nothing immoral or illegal here, maybe just a little bit unusual."

Yes, that's a direct quote. (BBC)

Really.

It's hard to believe that Alabama is THAT fucked up, but apparently it is. Inbreeding? Something in the water? Just a predominance of sheer stupidity? I mean who the fuck says they would prefer a pedophile to a candidate from the opposite party?

I guess Alabama is really that morally bankrupt, ironic for a "bible" state that they'd not only stray from their sacred teachings but they'd also prefer to break the state laws as well. I mean it's not even a choice of what would Jesus do, because sure as shit Jesus wouldn't vote for a predator that molests young girls, in fact he'd probably call his Dad and have the perv thrown into the deepest pits of hell.

And as for Mary being a teen? SHE DIDN'T HAVE SEX. Fuck, I'm not even Christian and I know that one. So no, it's NOT ok. It's never ok. And if you vote for Roy Moore? You're probably going to hell because you failed the morality test your god set for you.

Nov/15
2017

Hooray for Australia! Hooray for love! Hooray for sanity!

Australians have overwhelmingly voted in favour of legalising same-sex marriage in a historic poll.

The non-binding postal vote showed 61.6% of people favour allowing same-sex couples to wed, the Australian Bureau of Statistics said.

Jubilant supporters have been celebrating in public spaces, waving rainbow flags and singing and dancing.

A bill to change the law was introduced into the Senate late on Wednesday. It will now be debated for amendments.

Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull said his government would aim to pass legislation in parliament by Christmas. (BBC)

Well done Australia! Well done!