May/20
2005
You know we live in America and somehow we just naturally believe that here in the land of the just, the land of the free, we are a place where innocents are protected as much as can be. Maybe it's the way we're raised, or maybe it's the propaganda we're fed even as adults. People like to believe what they hear, especially if it's positive. Even more so if it concerns children. So read this next paragraph and think about how you feel... Private Firm to Investigate AIDS Charges Against City By LESLIE KAUFMAN (NYT) The city's Administration for Children's Services has hired an outside research firm to investigate allegations that the city inappropriately put foster children into medical trials for AIDS drugs in the 1980's and 1990's and that foster parents who objected to the trials lost custody ... There's more really. My summary is that the government (we're talking NIH here not just New York) felt that it was an appropriate return on their investment to test aids drugs on foster children. They did this for 20 years in the following states: Illinois, Louisiana, Maryland, New York, North Carolina, Colorado and Texas. So these children, whose life span was already shortened by the choices of their Mothers - were denied protection (which they were supposed to be assigned). This protection would ensure that research did not benefit at the cost of the welfare of these minors. The ideal was that the lives of these children, whom it would appear to already be forfeit, should receive better care at the risk of complications that might end their lives sooner. After all someone needed to test the drugs for children whose parents still protected them yes? Further, individuals that did attempt to intercede on behalf of their wards were essentially obstacles to be removed. Emotional arguments are supposed to have no sway in science. And if you attempt an impartial view you might say that if you're already on the short list of life, why not give to someone else who can benefit? But in this case while life may have dealt lemons to these children, there would be no time for lemonade. Further, who is to say that children with aids and parents to protect them would be better off at the expense of knowing a drug was unsuitable because it had shortened the life of a foster child? Still this idea of russian roulette testing isn't novel, and I mean here in the US. When I was a child and my Aunt, who had been a nurse, got sick and was places in a Vets hospital I was told she had better recover quickly or else. The 'or else' I was told was that the Vets hospital tested treatments on its patients to extract compensation for low-cost care. While it might be unfair to suggest a parallel with an infamous doctor who tested on the helpless in cruel and viscous ways, remember that the work he did was not thrown out with a glowering of disgust. Understand that the scientific minds not only retained his work on hypothermia (induced by strapping naked subjects down and soaking them in ice water in frigid temperatures) but they benefited from it by applying the numerical data for the reviving of natural victims of hypothermia. So where are we? In the different shades of gray where does the US stand within the morality of gathering scientific data at the expense of vulnerable humans? I suppose to those children who have already left, perhaps the data that was collected on them - their names, their ages, will be the memories that are collected to recall their existence instead of the parents they never had.
May/19
2005
I have two neighbors that abut my property. I've always known that the one was an arrogant wienie, but thought the other one was OK. She, an elderly lady, and I have been social. I've had her over for dinner, we've went out to dinner and movies, etc. She whines a bit and tries to say there are "rules" of which I have no proof, such as no clothes lines in Village and not blocking anyone's view. These things I just passed off as silly old lady stuff. Well tonight was different . . . I was sitting watching TV after coming home from work to mow my lawn. Phone rings. It's my neighbor. Can I come over, she wants to tell me something. So I put on my shoes and schlep over to the neighbor's house. She invites me in. She smokes, I don't, but I always over look this because she is a nice old lady. She proceeds to tell me that my shed is too close to the property line and that it is killing her trees. She called the Town and it needs to be 20 feet from the property line. She even had someone (she said appraiser - I think probably code enforcement) come over and look at it. Then she tells me that I need to move my shed 20 feet in from the property line. OK, fine, perhaps she isn't such a nice old lady. I can accept that. I made a hasty exit because I wasn't going to sit there and smell stale cigarette smoke and be social with someone who just dumped a big problem in my lap. Then as I left, it was almost like she expected be to hug her, like I always do when I leave. Or at the very least smile. OK, kick me in the teeth and then I'm going to say: "Thank you ma'am, can I have another?" Hardly!
May/19
2005

Hate Microsoft

Update after fucking update. They couldn't get it right the first time so WE have to deal with updates. I finally downloaded and installed Security Pack 2. I know, I know, should have done it a long time ago, but detest the whole process. And you know what - this time was no different. Took a half hour to install. Then when I said - go ahead restart my computer, I have no fucking idea what it was doing. All I know is I heard the hard drive cranking for about 10 minutes. If the TV or any other appliance or entertainment device took as long as Microsuck updates took, then we would find another way. Bill Gates - take a clue - when we turn on out computers its because we want to use them, not got through step after step while your software fixes the fuck-ups that you didn't do right in the first place!
May/19
2005
I read an article hypothesizing on the nature of female orgasms. Fascinating that you can be paid to research a topic, even a decidedly FUN one (yeah I didn't say 'stimulating' now did I?) and officially draw a conclusion that there IS no conclusion. Don't get me wrong, I'm fully aware of the fact that the lack of the existance of an answer IS an answer - but in science it just comes across as... well lame. Before I continue - here's some content to chew on: In the article 'A Critic Takes On the Logic of Female Orgasm' the reporter details the research and conclusions of Dr. Elisabeth A. Lloyd, "a philosopher of science and professor of biology at Indiana University". Dr. Lloyd has drawn the conclusion that female orgasm is simply available to women because as an embryo we are constructed with the same set of building blocks, some of which as tossed later when gender establishes its self. To summarize, because men get orgasms, women do too since we are wired the same as an embryo. Further, while orgasm in men might serve a purpose (to encourage them to have sex), it does jack squat for the survival or improvement of the species with resptect to women. Now there are several opposing studies, of course. One says that when a woman has an orgasm, she retains more sperm. But then that study had a limited number of test subjects. Another says that women only have orgasms with more 'desireable' males. Interesting thought there.... Of course the women would go back for more - and the desirable male would have better chances of reproducing. Yet another said that by being compelled to fool around until she had an orgasm, female primates got it on with so many males that there was no way to determine the father - thus protecting the infant from all the males she had sex with (fathers won't hard any offspring that was potentially theirs). Weeeee. Lots of theories. I suppose the most frightening part of this discourse came (har har) at the end from a Dr.Hrdy (no vowels?) who was the proponent of the last theory I mentioned: "Perhaps the reason orgasm is so erratic is that it's phasing out," Dr. Hrdy said. "Our descendants on the starships may well wonder what all the fuss was about". Phasing out... PHASING OUT?!?!?! Dear gods, man the torpedos and set engines for full speed ahead. If that's the case I can't think of a better pickup line EVHAR. "Hey Baby, did you hear that they're phasing out orgasms for women? Better get yours while you still can...."
May/18
2005
I stopped at the grocery store today. Always an AARP convention in the middle of the day. When I was leaving I was walking behind a rather spry senior citizen into the parking lot. She had a better gait than many people my age. Where does she head? Not the regular parking spots like you or I. NO - She heads toward her car parked right up close and personal in the handicapped zone. And yup, hanging right there on the rear view mirror was a handicapped tag. My question - When did being old begin to equal being handicapped? With the "graying of America", does that mean being "handicapped" will become the norm? OK, I don't know this woman's medical condition - don't care. I just think that those spots should be saved for those with a PHYSICAL infirmary that limits mobility. Shame on people who just get them and don't need them!
May/18
2005
MONTGOMERY, Ala. (AP) -- A pregnant student who was banned from graduation at her Roman Catholic high school announced her own name and walked across the stage anyway at the close of the program. ... Cosby was told in March that she could no longer attend school because of safety concerns, and her name was not listed in the graduation program. The father of Cosby's child, also a senior at the school, was allowed to participate in graduation. As a friend quickly pointed out - Catholics have no problem with Mary being an unwed mother. The other question is how many girls that had abortions walked... You go girlfriend.
May/18
2005
Sorry, gotta do it again. Throw a little sunshine in the despair. I went away this weekend. At the same resort was a group of high functioning mentally challenged adults. Most had down's syndrome. One guy in particular put a smile on my (and most everyone else's) face. There he was in the bar drinking O'Douls. None of his the rest of his group were around. He was the last party animal - out on the dance floor dancing like there was no tomorrow and playing air guitar at certain moments. He actually had good rythym. Before you know it, he had every unattached woman on the floor dancing with him. Everyone was grinning from ear to ear. I gotta tuck that image away and pull it out on a really crappy day.
May/17
2005
BOSTON (AP) -- A woman isn't legally responsible for injuries her boyfriend suffered while they were having consensual sex more than a decade ago, a state appeals court ruled Monday. The man, identified only as John Doe in court papers, filed suit against the woman in 1997, claiming she was negligent when she suddenly changed positions, landed awkwardly on him and fractured his penis. Well ok, there's an awful lot to work from here. Lets begin with classic speculation, no wait on second thought - lets ponder how much mileage this article is going to get. Wow it's a regular party-for-the-mind... I can hardly think of where to begin.... Speculation: So what exactly the hell WAS this woman doing? One can only hope that it was some sort of fabulous kamasutra-cirque-du-soleil kinda multi-jointed acrobatics (small white bishon frisee exempted). "Landed awkwardly". Well ok. That brings to mind images of little olympic gymnasts in leotards powering off the springboard, flipping over a horse only to miss "sticking" the landing. I mean how can I not type stuff like that? Ok, striding forward with a manly swagger to the next event in the timeline (oh wait, that's right - he'd lost that after the double-forward-hammer-flip-with-midair-twist assault) you figure he said something like 'ow' when she "landed awkwardly". I imagine she was kinda contrite - probably a touch dissapointed that the maneuver failed, probably growing concerned if not somewhat upset. One has to figure this was in the heat of passion, she was really gung-ho, ready to work the weiner for all it's worth when suddenly her man-stud doubles over and starts whimpering. Definately a downer. So what next, rush him to the emergency room? The news seems to imply that.... So she wraps this guy in a sheet, throws on some sweats and rushes him off to the hospital. Throwing it into park as she hits the curbside, bundles our boy into a wheelchair, plunges through the doors and says to the nurse...?? "I wrenched his weiner? I broke his boing-boing? I mangled his manhood in a sex-crazed-frenzy-rupture-fest?" It's hard to imagine. I'm betting you had to be there. So they patch him up and put him in rehab. You know those physical therapist chicks can be kinda cute.... you have to wonder what kinda excercises they prescribed... and if they managed to do it with a straight face. Now, years later, he decides to take her to court! Yes court. Hire a lawyer, describe the event in detail. Go to court, describe the event in detail. Lose in court and have the news desperately want to describe the event in detail because Lawd Knows news like this doesn't come along every day. Seriously, what the hell was he thinking? I imagine, after the offers from Howard Stern, and other late night shows roll in, maybe a few pr0n offers (presuming he can still work the willy) he'll have a little more money and a lot less chance of ever having grandkids. After all, what woman is going to want to marry a famously, fractured frankenschtukel for a husband?
May/16
2005
Everyone knows someone like this; your closet freak who thinks the world will just someday recognize him for who he is. The type who will turn down a 'good' job offer because it's not great when the job they have now really blows. The same type who will ignore all the warning signs in any relationship, friends, work, siblings (the 1 he has) when even his 'good' friends will go out of their way to tell him there's problems. And when things finally explode he's all surprised, because god knows the world is out to get him. On the one hand, as a friend you're kinda sad for the pathetic freak. Because you know no one is ever going to see him for who he thinks he is, simply because he isn't. On the other you tolerate this waste of air because either you want to earn your merit badge in sympathy or it makes you feel better that you're not him. In the worst case you're actually dependant on the freak to do a job and this stroking is what makes him reasonable enough to do it. Generally conversations with the freak go something like this... Freak: "I'm depressed. Life just sucks.." at this point it's your job to interject to cheer him up - because that's what you've been doing all this time, listening to him bitch, so why stop now? You: "What's up? Are the guys/girls/random pedestrians being assholes again?" mind you it's required that you start off badmouthing the people who are bringing the Freak down, if you even hint at the fact these people might have a point (or, Gods Forbid that this is yet another mind-numbing reprise from yesterday) then you become The Evil. Freak:"Yeah I'm so sick of it. This time I'm gonna quit/tell them off/someother random act of imaginary violence." now you're oblidged to listen to the whole story and pretend to pay attention. Type/say things like 'yikes, man that sucks, wow, damn' and 'no shit?' to kill time while you read the news on the web. This part usually takes the better part of an hour. Or two. Once they begin wrapping up with how sick they are of the whole thing, or how they won't put up with it any more, it's a signal for you to jump in and segue from the 'sympathy listener' to 'pep-talk, ego-butter'. You:"Well you know you're better than this. Maybe it's time you seriously considered (never say 'do' only suggest they might do) posting resume/finding new gf/start a band". Freaks never like it when you suggest something that might take effort. Worse, if they DO actually try to do something chances are you'll end up doing it for them or holding their hand so you might as well be typing that resume for them. Worse even, if some action does occur and you were involved then ~you~ become the reason it failed in the first place. Yep, I bet just about everyone has had their time with their own full time 'Freak'. One is about all anyone can stand, unless they have to manage several part-time freaks. If you have more than one full timer or three part timers I gently suggest you re-examine your own life or adjust your vitamins. Freaks are leaches who can't live their life without training wheels. And if you feel the need to prop someone up for their whole life, then chances are your transition to freakhood is only one listener away.
May/16
2005
The Catholic Church continues to oppose that whole "love" thing. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/gays_communion ST. PAUL, Minn. - A Roman Catholic priest denied communion to more than 100 people Sunday, saying they could not receive the sacrament because they wore rainbow-colored sashes to church to show support for gay Catholics.
May/16
2005
It's Red, White and Bomb time baby. Oh yeah. John Bolton is gonna represent us in the House of International Cupcakes and he's gonna be starting the food fight. Don't read the rest of this, just the following sentence, then kick back - whip out some smokes (they're popular in the 3rd world you know, only because the commie bastages here want to un-american our homeland by REPRESSING TEH SMOKERS, godless fags that they are), pop that bud and kick back in your recliner (made by those mindless savages in asia, at least it won't give you ass pimples from sitting on it) and beam with pride that WE, yes say it loud WE WANT JOHN BOLTON in the UN. Why? Becuase he's all american baby. Why? Because John Bolton KNOWS how to give his profit-sucking wage slaves that work for him the back-o-his-hand when they cross him. (Image here of John Bolton dressed like the Duke). Because John Bolton KNOWS how american diplomacy works. (Image here of John Bolton staring at you down the barrel of Dirty Harry's mother-fucking big gun. Yeah baby.) Because John Bolton KNOWS how to stroke one off after emphasizing the FACTS THAT COUNT. (Image here of Nixon giving the 'V' sign... oh wait - wrong image). John Bolton for UN Rep - because he KNOWS how to represent the US RIGHT. This message brought to you by the All-a-Fucking-American, Red Blooded, Hung like a goddamn moose-bull-ox-10 lb salami, HE-MEN that made America GOD'S GREEN LAND of the Free.
May/14
2005
List price of home: 99k Offer on home: 93k, possession end of June, owner to provide home warranty Counter Offer Options from Seller: 1) 99k, possession at the end of June, no home warranty 2) 99k, possession at the end of July, no home warranty, but they'll throw in a four hundred bucks to offset my rent. 3) 97k, possession at the end of July, no home warranty, and I pay 2k towards sellers closing cost. WTF? Am I smoking crack or are they? Where the hell is the negotiation - the bargaining - the "meeting halfway" or whatever? If the owners wanted 99k, they shoulda listed it a bit higher, doncha think? Do they honestly expect someone to plunk down list price? Oh nevermind. I remember now. People were talking about offering *over* list price just to actually buy a frickin' house. But I also hear stories about how people *never* offer list as well and get houses for a steal. I mean... do they want to sell the house or not? My counter: 95k, possession at the end of July, owner to provide home warranty. Fuck their closing costs. I'm not the one selling the house.
May/11
2005

Canines and Carnality

Ok I don't get it - and that's not just an opening line - I seriously don't get it. I'd like someone out there to explain why - in the last 15 or so referring searches to 'World of Suck' the words "dog" and "suck" have appeared together, in many cases combined with the words "sex" or "blonde". Blonde? So I'm to infer that some pervert out there wants data on blondes sucking dogs? It boggles the mind. Seriously tho here for a sec. What gives? I know that the majority of bandwidth on the net is used for pr0n. Yes pr0n makes the internet-world turn apparently. So I suppose it should come as no big surprise that anything with the word 'suck' in it would get, ahem, hit on. Still you have to wonder, what kind of person is at the other end of the keyboard typing in that particular search. Somehow tho it's not worth the potential humor factor to go there because the honest truth it probably either more disgusting or more horrifying than the speculation warrants. I mean what if it were a relative? Like even a close relative? One in the same house as you? Would you really want to know that? Well, ok maybe, depending on how vulnerable you were. But really, about the dogs and stuff - why? There's lots of human pr0n out there. I notice that while the searches specified what kind of female (uh, actually it never said female did it....*shudder*) they wanted to see (blonde, remember?) they never give any details about the type of dog. I mean there's lot of breeds out there. I suppose that's enough speculation in that department as well. Anyway about this whole 'dog suck' thing: People get a life! Stop with the stupid, un-specific, lamer searches. You won't get hits on what you want with that kinda input anyway. If you can't be more direct on what you're looking for then maybe you should get your ass out of that chair, put your knuckles back on the ground and get outside and get some air. Thank you.
May/11
2005
“I’m the proud parent of a WHO GIVES A FLYING FUCK!” Today’s rant is another pet peeve of mine. No, it’s not the bumper sticker. Ok, kinda. It’s the shit head parent who thinks I give a fuck about some 8 year old brainiac. Or who feels the need to tell me about their little 5 year old who is playing Mozart by ear. Now, I suppose I need to be careful in this rant. It’s a very fine line I walk. I think it’s perfectly healthy and normal for a parent to be proud of their child. And it’s very good to display that pride to the child. I’ll even go so far as to say that it’s good for a proud parent to discuss their child’s achievements with others. No no, that is not my problem. It’s the people that feel the need to slip in a “My kid is better than your kid” comment every chance they get. Or who feel obligated to one up any child story they hear about. “OMG My child has an IQ of 8127398173948!” “Yeah, well mine never had to take the test. They look at her and bowed down in awe.” “Mine built a life sized replica of the Eiffel Tower with one hand while composing Bach, singing Les Mis, and computing the atomic weight of a new periodic element she discovered. And she did it all by age 3.” “Mine already reads Shakespeare and works with quantum physics while tap-dancing, and breaking the world record for the 100 yard dash. Next he’ll be sleeping through the nights!” It kills me. Your child is great, and that is wonderful. I don’t care that much. If there is a relevant topic that your child accomplishment relates to, go for it, but don’t just walk over and decide I need to hear about you’re child’s super mega intelligence. This is made all the worse when the proud parent is a complete ninny. I mean, when Drooling Dave tells you his child’s smart, do you really think he’s a good judge of that? I mean, the child might have figured out how to close his mouth and that would be a big step up on old Dave, right? On top of all that, you also get these wretched parents who feel the need to advertise their parental insecurities by putting up… “the bumper sticker”. If there is one thing I don’t understand, it’s that sticker. It’s supposed to convey the message “my kid is smart and I’m proud”. I would get that if most of the people that saw it knew your kid or cared. But they don’t. Most of the people that read it don’t know you or the damn kid. What that sticker says to me is “Look at me! My kid is better than yours, which means I’m better than you! Please worship me!” You’re not praising your child; you’re hoping people will recognize you as being a great parent. But if you absolutely can’t resist talking about your soon-to-be-heroin-addict kids, don’t expect me to be impressed. When your kid cures cancer, call me. I’ll be suitably impressed then. Until then, shut the fuck up.
May/11
2005

Murder Death Kill

As my birthday approaches, like many people, I reflect on age. But not so much in a "I can't believe how old I am. I've wasted my life. Dear gob, take me now" sort of way. More like in a "I'm glad I'm not like most people my age and long into the rut of the american dream" sort of way. And then I think about this guy. In case that link doesn't work 24 hours from now, it's a link to a news story about 34 year old Jerry Hobbs. Jerry is the main suspect in a double murder of two 8 year old girls - one was his daughter. "Both girls had been beaten and stabbed repeatedly in the woods and left to die, Lake County Coroner Richard Keller said." So he's been arrested. It doesn't mean that he did it, but well - I'm guessing he did. He's been in and out of jail and was more recently jailed for chasing someone with a chainsaw. So let's think about this. This man has been alive for as long as I have. He's experienced many of the same cultural things from a similar perspective. While he went to jail in 1990, I was going to college. And now, ten years later, he's accused of killing his daughter and her friend. I can't even imagine taking that sort of path with my life - crime, jail - whatever. And then to think that this guy, who could have been in the same graduating class as me, turns out to be a murder suspect... I don't know. It just boggles the mind.
May/09
2005
N.H. May Charge Poorest for Medicaid By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS Filed at 1:41 p.m. ET CONCORD, N.H. (AP) -- As states struggle to cut Medicaid costs, New Hampshire has proposed going further by making the poorest of the poor -- even families with no income at all -- contribute to their coverage. ... Under the New Hampshire proposal, families with no income would have to pay $10 a child per month, up to a maximum of $30. Families who have some income but are still in the lowest category would pay as much as $20 a month, for a maximum of $60. Amazing. I'd like to understand just how it would be possible for someone with NO MONEY is going to pay for something with money they don't have. What's the basic premise here - that people with no money really have money? Or is it that if you have no money you need to get money somehow... well I guess there's always prostitution or theft. It's astonishing that these lawmakers, who have cars, who have homes, who have money will deny medical coverage to the very definition of poor. So, about that slogan of ours... "Give us your tired, you poor, your huddled masses...." so they can be as unwanted, as un-cared for, as rejected as they were from whence they came.... oh wait we have some of our own - can we send them to you? Thank you Mr.President.
May/09
2005
Do you work? for a living that is... meaning do you have a job with an employer that pays you and you depend on it? Most of us do. And most of us don't realize just how one-sided the relationship is. We the employees are required to do and dress and act how our employers want us to. Supposedly we are protected from being overtly harassed or being involved with anything unlawful. White collar workers are protected by the governments laws and by virtue of being educated enough to find new employment relatively easily. Blue collar workers are protected by both laws and a Union. Supposedly. And if you're a good employee, and you work hard you will be rewarded, at least with a stable situation if not necessarily with promotions or bonuses. Well, no. See that's where most people have it wrong. While there is an expected loyalty and devotion from employee to employer there is no 'noblesse oblige' required in return. In fact - and don't ever forget this for a moment - you are "an employee at will". What this basically means is that your employer may, at any moment, terminate you without needing to give any reason at all. Further the idea of the average person bringing a lawsuit against an employer for being terminated unreasonably is essentially laughable. If you consider that fact that you could, at any second, be fired and booted out the door with nothing more than your nicknacks and textbooks (if you have any) in a copier-paper box then you are beginning to have the right idea. America, more so now than ever before, is dedicated to the business owner. It's laws make these owners the slave holders of the present. What we the employees need to understand is that loyalty we feel towards our owners is completely one-sided and do not expect reciprocation on any level. Even being legally right is meaningless if you don't have the funds to pursue it (not to mention if you ever want to work for another employer). So keep this in mind, what you think of, what you make, what you say, what you type, what you sit on, what work at - all belongs to someone who, more likely than not, doesn't know or care who you are or if you have a family to support. Being right doesn't matter. Standing up for a better process , doesn't count. Pointing out issues or ways to improve will brand you as a trouble maker. And if you want to succeed, sit down, shut up, do what you're told. And maybe no one will get hurt....