Jul/30
2005

Being an only child

When someone tells me I must be spoiled if I since I am an only child, I want to kick them in the shin. OK maybe I got more attention and stuff in my direction, but it isn't necessarily worth it. Lets examine this. I my be spoiled if: 1. Fighting for every ounce of autonomy is spoiled, then OK I’m spoiled. 2. Being the main focus of two over bearing people is spoiled, then I’m spoiled. 3. Having your parents do something for you that you may or may not wanted done and being called ungrateful cause you didn’t promptly do x, y and z to say thank you is spoiled, then I’m spoiled. 4. Having your parents “help you” by inserting themselves in every intimate aspect of you life is spoiled, then I am spoiled. 5. Having parents that assume there are no boundaries between you and them is spoiled, then I’m spoiled. 6. When you set boundaries you get told how ungrateful / rotten / spoiled you are is being spoiled, then I’m spoiled. Why do I write this? My parents were at my house for an extended stay. I have learned to stuff a lot of feeling for the sake of keeping peace. Well, my mother decided to “help” me by going through some of my paperwork (bills, correspondence, catalogs, etc.) and I lost it. Then my father started with a tirade about how I am ungrateful and horrible and spoiled. As if it is unreasonable to think that something in my life should be private.
Jul/30
2005

Inside voice! INSIDE VOICE!!!!

I don't understand why this concept isn't grasped by people at a young age. Maybe my mother was just better at instilling lessons such as this. When you're inside, particularly in work environment, you don't actually need to project your voice like an opera singer. If you're talking to your coworker five feet away, I really don't need to hear you enunciate every syllable when I'm fifty feet away. Honest. The hum of discussion is fine. And even the occasional moment with raised voices is fine. I don't care about your problems, your commentary on your sex life, or your weekend plans. Nor does your work particularly interest me. If I wanted to be enthuses by your mindlessly boring job, I'm certain I could teach myself how to change users to 'backupstaff' and type the complex command string './backup -t'. Just because you do it one hundred times doesn't mean it's hard. Nor does it mean I want to HEAR you talking about it every fucking time you type it. Pipe down already.
Jul/28
2005
Owning a home is the typical definition of the American Dream. In fact owning a home as an investment on the way to a bigger and better home is my definition. In case you hadn't noticed recently, the current administration has found a way to ensure that dream is now a Lazarian myth. Property values are such that salaries (which have not kept pace) deny what might be 'affordable' about 6 years ago. Yes 6 years, no coincidence there. Without dropping into the typical piece on why the Bush administration wants to keep the rich richer, poor poorer and the middleclass dead, I would recommend (for those of you who might disagree) that you google any popular economic site and read up. Those tax breaks did NOT go to us... anyway moving right along... What if you already own a home, you think you're making out right? I mean look at the profit you just made in the last 3 years alone, pretty awesome huh? Well yes, that is if you plan on your next home being in some back-water slum or another country. The point being that even if you sell your home and make a whopping profit, so would everyone else down the street. The grail of moving out and up is no longer feasible. When in the past a family could move up to a home that was over 60% more expensive, today they can only afford 44% (I'm not making this up). The point is pretty clear, unless you're filthy fucking rich, under the current policies you are NOT going to get any better off, homeowner or no. And the only direction you'll be allowed to go in... is down.
Jul/27
2005
Remember way way back in a 'Fish Called Wanda' Kevin Klein plays an American in the UK who's always driving on the wrong side of their roads and yelling "Asshole!" out the window when he cuts them off? Well that's what the topic means... and this goes out to all the assholes who ever saw a "lane ends merge right/left" sign and chose to ignore it until the fucking cones were right in their face. Ok you mental midgets, I want you to die. Horribly. Those 3 signs they posted mile back, half mile, 500ft were to tell you to MEREGE WHILE THERE WAS STILL ROOM. Wanna know WHY there isn't any room and we're all backed up now? Because you fucktards are too goddamn retareded (yeah, yeah, I can get ahead of just ONE more car that makes my DICK BIGGER) to comprehend (ooo big word) that by waiting till the last second you force everyone in the lane you're merging into to stop, thus backing EVERYFUCKINGBODYELSE up behind them. Bombs. TNT solves problems right? Why leave it to the terrorists? Lets have some of our own fun - I want mines that shoot ballbearings staight up into the undercarridge of the car when they're still in the lane being closed about 250 before the cones. Maybe the smouldering heap of the idiot in front of them will encourage them to merge sooner. Barring that I'll take the old tire-shredding spikes. Anything to get the snarling fuckass who's trying to cram in at the last second believing that I should of course give them space. I THINK NOT ASSHOLE. *snarl*
Jul/25
2005
WASHINGTON (AP) -- The fact that Supreme Court nominee John Roberts' wife does free legal work for an anti-abortion group should not be relevant to his confirmation hearing, a Senate Republican leader said Monday. Oh come off it ffs. How stupid do you have to be to even try and buy a line of bullshit like that. You date someone you have similar values with. You choose to marry someone whom you trust and believe feels enough like you to spend the rest of your life with. Even, if you want to go way the fuck out on a limb, and say that this is their only difference - the fact is when he goes home at night who do you think has his ear for the next 12 hours? Who has a hotline right to the decisionmaker? Who could be telling him there's divorce, family tension, "I'm taking the kids and teaching them to hate you for the rest of your life" capability? The wife has always had not just -the- most influence on her husband (on par, in some few cases, with his Mom) but she demonstrates another side of their relationship. What she does, he must justify in some manner as acceptable - and visa versa. Bullshit. This stinks, but then what more could we expect from a narrow minded, idiot for a president.
Jul/23
2005

T4x0ring teh Internets

Link: http://9news.com/acm_news.aspx?OSGNAME=KUSA&IKOBJECTID=40f1979a-0abe-421a-013e-74d3948125db&TEMPLATEID=0c76dce6-ac1f-02d8-0047-c589c01ca7bf

This is the part of day where I write another in my long running series of governmental bullshit. Today’s topic is ‘Why the Government Should Give Up on Taxing the Internet”. So, if you follow the title link you’ll find a story of a Senator who thinks he has found a way to make the internet profitable for the government, impose a tax for moral values, and protect our children all at the same time. He’s a special kind of guy with a special purpose. What he wants is a 25% tax on adult content on the internet. So, if you pay $5 a month now, you would have to fork an extra dollar over to good ol’ Uncle Sam. He’s got a bunch of reasons for this concept. You can tell he’s really thought long and hard about this. First, he wants to help fill up the government coffers (really help pay off the massive debt so they can spend more), so they can spend it on $40K rolls of toilet paper. A noble goal if you like that sort of thing I guess. Secondly, because he focuses exclusively on pr0n sites, he wants to impose a moral value on the patrons of those sites. Namely that if you subscribe to pr0n sites, you’re a sinner and should pay for your sins. I really don’t think I need to elaborate on the number of ways that is idiotic. Finally, he wants to ‘protect our children’. He has blended this law with a requirement that stiffens rules regarding age verification to prevent underage people from joining /viewing pr0n sites. The purpose is twofold here: 1) make it harder for those sites to meet requirements and thus risk prosecution / closing and 2) make it impossible to vote against his bill. The second part there is the neato part. You see, if anyone steps up to state how unfair and idiotic the rest of this bill is, he can smack them down with “Sen. Whomever voted to let 5 year old kids have access to pornography!” Bullshit politics at it’s best. Now, beyond the stupidity of his concepts is the underlying idiocy about how the internet actually functions. You see, the internet is wonderfully open medium with wild ranges of mobility. It has no national borders and respects no one nation’s laws. One of the largest and most profitable sections of the internet is pr0n. It accounts for a huge sum of money both in direct subscriptions and advertising fees. Most of these sites are currently based in the US. They generate large sums of tax revenue, particularly in California. But they don’t HAVE to be here. With a few quick clicks of a button and few legal documents, any web site can easily move to Mexico, Canada, or Peru. It becomes an international company with a headquarters (aka mail drop) and *boom* no more tax problem. The internet makes this easy. On top of that, let us look at enforcement. Right now, you are required to pay local sales tax on every item you purchase online. They don’t automatically calculate it in, but you’re still liable for it. Most states even have a separate little form for you to submit. That makes nearly everyone that has bought something online guilty of tax evasion. Not me because we don’t have sales tax here, but most people. Now, as a government with huge resources, if we haven’t been able to collect from your average Amazon buyer, what the hell makes us think we’re going to get our 25% out of adult sites? Hell, the RIAA can’t even effectively stop sites from giving out illegal music. Why not? Because our legal system and government do not adequately understand the problems they are facing. Without massive changes to the structure of control and business on the internet, this idea is just another harebrained example of how much our leaders don’t understand the things they try to legislate.
Jul/22
2005

ph33r.

There's not much in life I'm afraid off. I grew up in a writhing metropolis that exposed you at once, from birth, to the best and worst of human nature. I've heard muggings, I had an upstairs neighbor turn up dead in Riverside park after going missing for 2 weeks (and his checkbook used during that time). I've seen people slip and fall in the street only to barely survive the crush of help that fell like a tsunami upon them, picking them up, dusting them off, reaching attentively for possessions that spilled. I've been spat on my pathological cases in the dark ends of subway platforms, sandwiched between tracks and stood my ground and stared them down (hence getting spat on as they backed off). Or crushed into a mob of Tokyo-esque packed train cars only to find that our (me and my friend who is all of 5' and well below the knots of most of the ties on the VanHeusens around her) giggling was infectious and soon the whole car disembarked packed with laughter and tears. No, humans I don't fear. Nor is there anything in the animal world that strikes a chord of terror in my heart. Not cats, dogs, rats... (There was one time ages ago in college when several girls came bursting out of the common cooking area screaming about rats. Excited by the prospect of a rat in the dorm I charged right back in after coaxing the location of the "rat" from one of the petrified. Staring back at me from the corner between the stove and the wall was this beady eyed, potato shaped fur ball, none other than the obese hamster from the room on the other side of the kitchen wall. I was very gravely disappointed, scooping the wayward rodent into my shirt and returning him to his green-litter home.) Not bats... (The one time a bat did find it's self lost in my house, my spouse going into fits over being bitten and rabies, I walked over, tossed a towel over the little guy then released him to the great outside after inspecting him up close holding him gently in the towel. They're pretty neat little critters. Upon describing the encounter at lunch the next day a co-worker, who had resorted to a tennis racket and a bucket, was convinced I was next on the nosferatu list.) It's not to say I don't have an extremely healthy respect for creatures who can do me harm, poisonous, carnivorous, wolves - should I encounter one other than at the zoo, bears, deadly snakes (had a little garter snake as a pet as a kid), scorpions (such as the one in the sink at the hotel we decided NOT to stay at in the Grand Canyon). Indeed you can add to that class of healthy-respect-for flora as well, poison ivy for one, mushroom puff-balls that spurt noxious yellow spores when you step on them, etc. Sure there are lots of plants, animals, machines, locations that I respect for their deadliness in some aspect or another. But my Achilles heel is insects. Nothing will send me into a dervish in uncontrolled firing of synapses like the sudden, unwanted discovery of some exoskeleton member of the vermin family. Somehow the Gods knew my weakness and decided to play /prey upon this for a cornucopia of cosmic mirth last night. Now we're camping. And I'm frenetic with enforcing the fully zippered, virtual vapor lock on the entrance to the tent, thus I usually slumber in only semi-discomfort (due only to the shifting of the pressure on the airmatress from the actions of the other occupant, lights of returning cars, caterwauling of neighboring children, etc.). But not last night... last night I was assaulted by the insect version of Freddy Krueger, whom I'm certain laid in wait for me to finally reach at least a basic, shallow REM. This nocturnal nemesis launched its self onto my ear, which when I brushed it off and discovered the ridged carapace sent me into a human pinwheel of death. My spouse woke, expecting cannibals, or maybe at least a troupe of fraternity pledges had invaded.... and derided me with "please don't knock my teeth out next time you spaz, Ok?" I went back to sleep bunkered beneath the sheet, pillow defensively covering my head for the next attack with only the smallest breathing hole. I tried to doze. It savaged me again, this time mauling a foot. More spazing. I contemplated bringing a full bee-keeper suit for the next camping endeavor. The only redeeming moment is when my companion was attacked, bringing a certain smug yet still fearful validity... "Did you crush it?" "No, but it's pretty damn big." I burrowed further. I would prefer to asphyxiate than be further masticated. At some point morning came, and my determination to enforce the superiority of my species culminated in the demise of several spiders, 2 beetles and one of nondescript smush that may or may not have been hamburger bun remnants. But evening is upon us once again, and I wonder what horrors the antennaed minions of evil have in mind for me tonight.... This entry posted on the faintest wiff of an internet connection....
Jul/22
2005
People walk in the street. Lazily they stroll. Walking. In the street. When sometimes there is not enough room for cars to pass from opposite directions, they shuffle, languishing in their stride - taking in everything and nothing. Or maybe they're just stoned. But still. They walk in the streets when there are sidewalks. They talk in the streets. For 10 or 15 minutes at a time. A car will stop and they will yell their conversation to the driver from their yards. But if you're lucky, they'll get off the porch and go down to the car to carry on their conversation. But there the car sits, blocking the road. As they talk. In the streets. I have no idea. I've never understood it.
Jul/22
2005

Computer security

At work they keep changing our computer security stuff. This includes our internet, network, e-mail, and workstation. They all need a password to access. Lets add on that the fact that you only get the opportunity to screw-up twice, if you miss on the third it is fuck-you, gotta go beg the IT guys to reset it. (There are remote access passwords which are more complicated than need be - which is a story in its own right) Keeps your head spinning. Now for simplicity sake, I typically have all the in-work passwords the same. Well, today I went to change the one I kept forgetting to change and it tells me my password isn't unique enough. WTF! It was fucking unique enough for the other three access point! So I had to select another. And since it is so fucking weird, I gotta write it down - real secure, huh? Oh, and by the way - I work in a secure building that requires an access card! So who the fuck is going to hack through all my well thought out passwords??? My co-workers??? Unless some terrorist thinks the information in our crappy office is worth blowing a few doors for! Which very unlikely.
Jul/20
2005

Adults only

So, many of you have heard about GTA:SA and it's little problem with some sexually explicit content. Basically, somewhere buried in the code there is a section of code that deals with a sub game that would have allowed the character to have explicit sex with a woman. However, in the interest of keeping the game rated M (Mature aka 18 or over) instead of AO (Adults Only aka no fucking kids), that section was no available in the final release. Apparently they didn't remove the code for it, they just made it inaccessible. So, some hacker found it, patched together a crack that allowed it to be viewed and released it. I might add that crack is illegal in that it alters the game code, which is in violation of the user agreement. So, that was the situation. Seems easy. The obvious answer is that if they violated the license to get at the code, the responsibility falls on the user not the company. Or at least, that it how I read it. Apparently the world of "for the children!!!" doesn't agree. They have forced the ratings board to re-rate the game based on content that is unavailable in it's release form. They are slapping the game with an AO rating now. Which means they will have to put stickers on all the boxes. I mean come on people. Does that sound right to anyone? Is anyone that fucking stupid? Do we rate movies based on the scenes filmed? I mean, someone COULD go out, hunt down those scenes and release them on the internet. What if I named my variables obscene things? When I code, I'm an asshole. I make my variables all sorts of things like "fuckingCounter" and "DoucheBagsName". Can we include those in the ratings? I mean, it's on the disc, albeit it compiled form. But anything compiled can be decompiled. Ask the DVD companies about that and they'll tell you. They edited the scene out specifically to make a rating, just like movie editors do. They made it inaccessible to the user. Just because some hacker knows how to open the door doesn't change the rating the game deserves. Don't like it? Sorry. I suggest you keep your kid off the internet, or better yet, don't buy them a game that is not rated for them. There are plenty of games in the educational rack.
Jul/17
2005

Still Acting like Love

Link: http://www.nytimes.com/2005/07/17/fashion/sundaystyles/17ZACH.htm

Title link goes to NY Times. Go to bugmenot.com if you need registration to view the article. Remember a while back, my Epic rant about a little program called Love in Action? Well, the victim in that case was a young man named Zach, who has not been heard from online since June 3rd. For the past six weeks, he has been subjected to this wretched treatment all day long, and at the end of the day, has been returned to his home with his hateful parents, who have actually had the nerve to show up on the Christian Broadcasting Network to defend themselves (interestingly they ignored requests for comment from all real media). However, Zach has many supporters out in cyberspace trying to get him out. Protestors march outside the gates daily. The Tenn. Department of Health has sent a letter claiming the program is not licensed for therapy. Over 1800 comments, from as far away as Norway, have been posted on his blog, which he probably is unable to even read. The program does not have a definitive length, beyond its minimum 2 week period. No one knows how long it will go before Zach is free again. I can say much more about this after my first rant. Mostly an update really. It is vile.
Jul/16
2005

Hey fuckface

Yeah you. I know that you're not interested in the book. I get that. But for those people that don't want to know the surprise ending, don't fucking spout off about it. Same thing goes for movies. If you know the ending, shut the fuck up about it when you aren't sure if everyone has seen it. Ruining a good book or movie does a horrible injustice to the artists involved. It also takes away from the viewing/reading experience that some people enjoy. Obviously people like yourself that take the time to go out of your way to ruin those experiences for other will never understand. So, let me do something similar for you here. I’m going to do the same thing to your life. At the end, you're going to die. If I'm lucky and justice is served it will be an agonizingly long drawn out death. One where you know exactly what is going to happen, but are powerless to avoid it. It will suck all the pleasure you could have had out of that remaining time. And all your last days will be spent wishing you didn't know it was coming. Failing that, may you die in a fire.
Jul/15
2005

Beating a Dead... Hooker.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Raise your damn children right and you won't have any problems. If you're tired of me bitching about this topic, feel free to skip to the next rant. Our most recent idiot politician in to light up the 'protect our children' rhetoric is Hillary Clinton. She’s recently attacked the all time leading champion of targets, Grand Theft Auto. Because it seems to be the poster child for ‘Games that Piss Parents Off’. She says, and I quote, "There is no doubting the fact that the widespread availability of sexually explicit and graphically violent video games makes the challenge of parenting much harder” And follows that up with: “has so many demeaning messages about women and so encourages violent imagination and activities and it scares parents.... They're playing a game that encourages them to have sex with prostitutes and then murder them. You know, that's kind of hard to digest” I dispute those statements 100%. I would like to point out for the billionth time, the game is rated Mature. If your child is not Mature, why the fuck did you let them play it. With GTA, ignorance really isn’t an option at this point. For 5 years or so, it’s been making headlines when people Like Clinton haul it out to trash its name (and give it tons of free ads that it uses to sell more copies, which makes more money, which leads to more sequels). EVERYONE knows about this game. You can hire hookers, and then kill them to get your money back. Yeah yeah. Not news at this point, ok. And if you bought the game for your kid, you have no reason not to know that in advance. If you didn’t, it still YOUR FUCKING FAULT after the massive amounts of this subject. They don’t hide the criminal aspect of the game here fucknugget. The name of the game is the name of a crime. I wouldn’t let my kid play Murder Death Kill. I wouldn’t because without knowing anything else about the game, I could infer that it might have something to do with violence. Likewise, GTA could easily be inferred to have SOMETHING to do with criminal activity. The wide variety of guns on the back of the box, combined with cop cars would seem to indicate further motions toward violence. Oh, and it’s rated MATURE. It even tells you why. I quote again: “Blood and Gore, Intense Violence, Strong Language, Strong Sexual Content, Use of Drugs”. Read the fucking warning shit for brains. Don’t want your kid to see it? It’s easy. My parents had a foolproof method for dealing with situations like this. They said NO. I know, I know, some of you bleeding heart aspirates are incapable of refusing your spoiled rotten scum-sickle children anything the beg for. But that is not my problem. And when said vermin grows up and decides to act out the built up rage and aggression your poor parenting has bred, I don’t want to hear you blame it on a video game, k? Because, my little toilet bug, YOU bought them the game. You fucked up. Not the developers. Not the programmers. Not the ESRB. Not the publishers and not the store that sold it. You. It’s all your fault. Suck it up or suck me off, but whatever you do, don’t bitch to me.
Jul/14
2005

Big Giant Cajones

Lets say you were hired to take over a company. Specifically, a giant mega-conglomerate that was having financial trouble. Even more specifically, one that has recently had a lot of problem with accounting fuck ups. Fuck it, more specifically ENRON. And lets say you were hired by the numerous creditors to replace the corrupt board of directors. Now, in the midst of this shambles of a company, you have a lot of work in front of you. One can also assume the press is watching you closely. So, how large a set of testicles would you need to give yourself, and the other members of the board raises? Not just any old raise either, but 100-400% raises. Now, lets go further and say that you decided to make those raises retroactive back for the entire past quarter. I mean, what the fuck. Seriously. They gave themselves 2x to 5x more money and they made the raise count for the past 3 months. What the fuck is wrong with the people in charge of companies like this? What are they thinking when they do stuff like this. I mean, the Enron people fucked everyone over, and now their replacements are trying to do the same thing legitimately. And what excuse did they use? “According to The Wall Street Journal, the directors found more of their time was demanded than expected.” That’s fucking rich. I mean, get off you high horse for a minute and think about that. If you were hired to fix fucking Enron, how much time did you THINK it was going to take? Shut your god damn whining mouth and think about the thousands of investors that won’t be able to retire because your predecessor bent them over and ass fucked them. Now, consider how rough your life is that you need 2 to 5 times the salary you negotiated for when you were hired last year. To the directors of Enron: Fuck you. May your million dollar homes burn down, and your investments all plummet. Vermin like you should be stepped on. Not given raises.
Jul/13
2005
To the little old lady opposite me at the stop light, who gunned a left turn as the light turned green, when she had no arrow, no right of way, and waved as she did so... I WASN'T WAVING YOU THROUGH THE INTERSECTION. I was flipping you the bird. Be thankful that my brakes work.
Jul/12
2005
In the time it takes me to glance over I can go from neutral/calm/happy to frothing with rage. Yes the asshole in the SUV who just cut me off at high speed, swerving in and out was talking on the cell phone while driving. Wanna know when the motherfucker will get his? Probably damn soon, only the worst part about it is that he WILL take someone with him. Face the goddam facts people - if you're intent on yapping on the freeking phone you are not paying attention to your driving. They've proven it before, they'll keep doing it. It's getting to where you're actually safer in a herd of drunk drivers in a post-happy hour speed-fest than in just-off-peak rush hour commute home. WASHINGTON (AP) -- Drivers using cellular phones are four times as likely to get into a crash that can cause injuries serious enough to send them to the hospital, said an insurance study released Tuesday. What else? For starters weather plays almost no part. In the study mentioned above 75% of the accidents happened in good weather. Also, around half of the accidents happened within 10 minutes of starting their drive. About 90% of the accidents involved injury to the driver as well. Approximately 1.2 million people are using cell phones during the day, every day. People just can't seem to shut the hell up. My solution - put an explosive in the phone. If you do choose to drive and yap - have the damn device blow your freeking fingers off if you get into a serious collision (as opposed to say, dropping it on the floor or banging it into the wall by accident). If you make the risk more tangeable then maybe people will be more aware of the risk they're taking. If they choose to take it anyway, well - blam - they have 50% less chance to take the risk a second time, and no chance for a third. Yes, yes this only works for hand helds, and yes it turns out that hands-free really doesn't mitigate ANYthing, but I feel if you went to a hands-free setup then at least you acknowledge the risk. If I can't have that then I want a phone-blaster gun I can point at people who are on their cell phones. ZZAP! Phone is dead. w00t. While I'm on this fantasy I'd also make it so that if you were driving the car would generate an interference field that would prevent the phone from getting a signal. You wanna talk? Pull over for a few and talk. You assholes need to realize, a decade ago you lived without the fucking phone welded to your chops. Unless your wife is in labor (then she's probably not on the phone) or your kid is sick you don't HAVE to talk to anyone. It can wait. Bring back the pagers dammit, these fucking cell phones SUCK.