Jan/19
2017

Who The Fuck Are They?

Answer: Who cares?

Country stars Toby Keith and Lee Greenwood, rock groups 3 Doors Down and The Piano Guys, DJ RaviDrum and The Frontmen of Country with Tim Rushlow, Larry Stewart and Richie McDonald are the confirmed performers for the Make America Great Again! Welcome Celebration. (UPI)

Also correct: "Nobodies."

Jan/16
2017

You know that moment where you "win" the argument because the other person walks away in disgust? It doesn't take long for the warm glow of dominance to fade away leaving you with the uneasy feeling of pondering what comes next. It's kinda like peeing in bed, sure it feels good for the first second but then you're left in a cold, stinking mess of pee and a soggy mattress.

Kind of like the situation America is in today.

The number of Democratic members of Congress saying they will boycott Donald Trump's inauguration on Friday has increased to 26.

Many have cited as a reason the president-elect's recent attack on civil rights icon and fellow congressman John Lewis. (BBC)

The up-and-coming Dickhead-in-Chief can't govern. That's pretty clear. But the burden of WHY he can't govern isn't his, because he was, is and continues to be the same lying, shitbag, misogynist, greedbag, self-aggrandizing asshole he always was. No one can complain that tRump isn't the same before and after "winning". What they CAN complain about is the fact that they totally and completely misjudged their OWN expectations.

False expectation 1: tRump will become presidential material after he's elected, meaning he'll stop tweeting insults and threats around the clock to everyone he perceives has slighted him.

False expectation 2: tRump will improve wages and jobs for Americans, because that's exactly how he's improved the lives of those who have worked for him all along.

False expectation 3: after the election tRump will try and repair the damage done to everyone, including those in the party he adopted, and not dance around like a brat screaming "I won you lost".

See he never even GAVE the hint of wanting to do those things, but time and again I heard from his supporters "oh that's just election rhetoric, you'll see, he'll be great, we have to trust him." Trust being a key word for "I hope to fuck he changes because it can't go on like this forever, please?"

Delusional motherfuckers you were. Just delusional. tRump is just as much of a fucktard now as he ever was. The only thing that MAY have changed is perhaps the fact that the world is NOT the same, life will NOT go on and relationships WILL be irrevocably damaged because of YOUR CHOICE. Yes, dear tRump voter, you're the one to blame for every bit of endless screaming and whining you hear on TV, every upset foreign government, every respected individual be they actress, politician, or ordinary person who is incensed and infuriated at the blind faith you placed in a future where everyone just "learned to get along."

You. I blame you. The real question is, who do you blame?

Jan/14
2017

Then just buy people who will sell you their support.

Donald Trump used to regularly give press conferences. [..] The last one came more than five months ago. [..] Now, nine days before his presidential inauguration, the Trump press conference is back - and it turns out he hasn't lost a controversial step. Before getting into the give-and-take with reporters, however, Mr Trump explained why it had been so long.

"We stopped having them because we were getting a lot inaccurate news," he said.

In other words, he was punishing the press for what he saw as unfair treatment. On Wednesday, instead of punishing the press with his absence, he would punish them with his presence. (BBC)

Trump mocks reporters, offers up obvious bullshit and is aghast when people don't swallow it and it upsets him. He's used to a world where he was surrounded with yes-men, people who agreed because they were paid to, because they wanted some of his money. Now it's not the money any more and Trump is confused why everyone else just won't fall in line.

So... when faced with the fact that he can't just have everyone's support, he does what any good businessman does: buys some anyway.

During the press conference, Mr Trump would deliver a sharp rebuke and be greeted with applause. Mr Trump would crack a joke followed by laughter. Mr Trump would ask a rhetorical question, and get a chorus of responses.

It was enough to make some viewers wonder whether the normally reserved reporters were throwing their lot in with the soon-to-be president.

In fact, the animated reactions were coming from Trump supporters, political staff and business employees who were crammed into the Trump Tower lobby along with journalists.

Given that Mr Trump seems to draw energy from a welcoming crowd, stacking a press conference with a friendly audience may not be a bad idea from a strategic standpoint.

Good thing America has proven that it can continue without any real government, because what was just a poorly functioning machine is now a broken clown-car up on blocks. I'm also keen to see just how long the GOP wants to support their clown-prince. He's quick to turn and attack, he makes obviously stupid shit up, he plays with deadly things.

Boy I can't wait for the first UN briefing, can you? It's going to make Hussain and Kim Jong look like wanna-be's!

Jan/13
2017

Guns! Hur, Hur, Hur.

Yep, totally her fault. She should have known better.

A Florida woman has died after being shot by a homeowner while searching the neighbourhood for her lost dog.

The victim, Rebecca Rawson, 65, was fatally injured after approaching the armed householder's home on Tuesday night, say sheriff's officials.

As her relative knocked on the door, Eugene Matthews, 83, emerged firing a handgun, according to the Manatee County Sheriff's Office.

Ms Rawson was taken to a local hospital, where she died.

Officials say that Ms Rawson and her daughter waited in their car as her brother-in-law knocked on Mr Matthew's door to ask if he had seen their dog.

Police say Mr Matthews opened his door and started shooting at the family. (BBC)

Gene was CLEARLY being threatened! Omg! Who wouldn't have done the same? Fuck that woman. Fuck her dog. How DARE They come on to his property and ring the doorbell!

Guns make everything better. Don't they?

Jan/12
2017

The Clown-Show Continues

Can you believe it's going to be FOUR fucking years of this (no bread) and circuses bullshit? I do. It's going to keep me fucking busy as hell.

Trump said for the first time Wednesday he accepts that Russia was behind the election-year hacking of Democrats that roiled the White House race. Looking ahead, he urged Congress to move quickly to replace President Barack Obama's signature health care law and insisted anew that Mexico will pay the cost of a border wall.

He defiantly denied reports that Russia had collected compromising personal and financial information about him, lambasting the media for peddling "fake news" and shouting down a journalist from CNN, which reported on the matter. His family and advisers clapped and cheered him on throughout (AP)

Ok, so dickhead-in-chief-to-be finally admits when he can't hide any more that he had outside help to win. Outside meaning out of the US outside. Meaning, of course, Russia. Yes, that's right an american businessman with no prior political experience manages to buy himself the presidency with the help of a FOREIGN government.

Can you imagine if it had been Hillary that had won with the help of a foreign power? No, you can't because as a woman, a white american woman, she came in second to an abusive, lying sack of shit who makes up whatever lies he likes and fuckheads would prefer a dishonest/asshole/male to a woman with the experience and ability to lead.

Gods I love this country.

So here we are, a president who can openly mock people with disabilities, who just vomits out whatever comes into his pea brain, who makes shit up and doesn't give a fuck. And somehow people ACTUALLY THINK he's going to care about them? Scratch that, they never thought, thinking was never involved.

"All the dress shops are sold out in Washington. It's hard to find a great dress for this inauguration."
-- Donald Trump

"We have 200 dresses, if not more, in stock."
-- Mae Shipe, owner of Mae's Dress Boutique

"There's never been less demand for inaugural ball gowns in my 38 years."
-- Peter Marx, owner of Saks Jandel

From little lies to big ones, Trump cannot be believed. Let's see how long he can lie for shall we? At some point the odds are really good that he's going to fuck up hard. And then we'll have a real, but qualified asshole in office.

Would have been pretty funny if Trump had picked a woman for VP, ironic right?

Jan/11
2017

Yep, this is the kind of person who supported Trump: "Man celebrating vote to repeal Obamacare learns he is on Obamacare"

Yes babies, ACA and "Obamacare" are the same thing.

So you know, if there's one guy stupid enough out there there's probably a whole "hidden majority" of morons who want to eliminate social services that they themselves depend on. Like say Medicaid, Medicare and Foodstamps.

SUCKS TO BE YOU BITCHES. DON'T GET SICK. DON'T GET HUNGRY. DON'T GET OLD.

heh.

Jan/10
2017

Amazing how SOME people actually wanted this jackass as president and worse, now that he's continuing to act like a fucking tool they ADORE it.

SOME people are beyond retarded.

US President-elect Donald Trump has hit back at Meryl Streep's criticism of him as she received a lifetime achievement award at the Golden Globes.

He tweeted: "Meryl Streep, one of the most overrated actresses in Hollywood, doesn't know me but attacked last night at the Golden Globes.

"She is a Hillary flunky who lost big," Mr Trump added of the three-time Oscar-winning actress.

She said: "When the powerful use their position to bully others we all lose." (BBC)

Yes, when lambasted by a famous Actress the president-to-be acted like a baby, "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! She was mean to me!"

THIS is the next President? Listen fuckface, this is just the START of people hating on you. Think the shit Obama had to put up with was bad, heh. Think again.

Jan/09
2017

Awww, does someone-ski need a hug-ski?

Russia says US allegations that it ran a hacking campaign to influence the American presidential elections are "reminiscent of a witch-hunt".

Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov told reporters Moscow was tired of the accusations. (BBC)

Pretty awesome, imagine if everything worked that way: kill someone but complain during your murder trial that you're "tired of being persecuted", or maybe help someone win a tight election and complain that you're "tired of being persecuted".

People should just back the fuck off right?

What a mixed message. On the one hand Tiny-n-Butch Putin is ok to reach out and fuck with the international affairs of others and on the other he's "oh so lonely and sad" because people hate him for it. Kinda like how everyone feels about his propping up the Regime of Death-Evil in Syria.

YEP RUSSIA WE DO HATE PUTIN IT IS TRUE. GET RID OF HIM AND WE'LL TALK.

Duh.

Jan/07
2017

"Because I'm Old"

I was patiently waiting my turn to speak to someone outside their office at a dealership. I had been there first thing in the morning, first in line, and someone had already jumped in front of me to get into the lady's office. Ok, that shit happens, so I waited the 20 min for my turn. Just as person 1 exits, another person walks right in front and goes in ahead of me. Now, by this time everyone in the dealership knew I'd been waiting 45 minutes and it was well past the appointed time for my meeting.

Truthfully, someone DID go in and speak to the people, but they were already in mid-business so more waiting ensued.

As they left, I pounced into the vacancy and the woman who had cut me, and her husband, felt obliged to offer and apology. Sure, if you're going to say sorry, no problem, but then she followed it with "well, we're OLD and make mistakes."

Wait what? Old? WHO'S OLD? They're old? Hold the fucking phone bitch.

I was wearing my hat. I swept it off, revealing more gray than they had. "Yeah, I know about OLD," I retorted.

"Well," said the old guy huffily, "THESE days you can get gray color with chemicals, we're MUCH older than you."

They were wasting my time, but I tossed out one last retort, "I guess looks can be deceiving then," I snarked back.

Really? FUCKING REALLY? Next time just apologize and walk away and maybe I won't think you're a pair of assholes.

Jan/06
2017

It tastes pretty damn yummy to the next Prez...

President-elect Donald J. Trump appears to side with the WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange over United States intelligence agencies, with Vice President-elect Mike Pence backing him up.

So, my little Trumpettes, how's it feel to see your adored prez sucking some scraggly Aussie dick huh? Yes the fucking PRESIDENT OF THE US ADMITS HIS ADMIRATION FOR ASSANGE. Yes he do.

Of course we all know that, up until a tight election was technically (non popularly) won by a total fucking tool, Assmange was an enemy of the US. Someone who solicits and publishes sensitive materials, endangering MANY people, not just Americans, working abroad.

But hey, he's got the GOP stamp of approval now, so if you support your leader you'd best fall in line bitches!

Heh. This is humerious. What next? A gold statue of Putin in the Oval Office salon? Probably, and just in time for his visit too!

Jan/05
2017

You'd think the dead horse would stay dead, but no, idiot parents STILL haven't gotten the message. Omg, omg omg NUT ALLERGIES! MAH PRECIOUS BABEEEEE! Fucking retards.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- New parents, get ready to feed your babies peanut-containing foods - starting young lowers their chances of becoming allergic.

The National Institutes of Health issued new guidelines Thursday saying most babies should regularly eat those foods starting around 6 months of age, some as early as 4 months. It's a major shift in dietary advice for a country fearful of one of the most dangerous food allergies.

Exposing people to allergens a little at a time has been known for-fucking-ever. But when it comes to parents dictating to schools and providers what their brat can and can't be exposed to, this MAY at least provide some sanity.

Of course the bigger problem is the fucked up anti-vaxxers but one thing at a time.

It's not expected that schools will suddenly decide to tell food-freak parents to learn to deal, nor will the type of parent (I use the term loosely) who is bound to freak out about every little thing their delicate flower comes into contact with listen to reason. In their minds THEY know, evidence and science aside, and the world needs to support THEM or they will whine, cry and waste valuable time of their peers until they get their way.

Of course, giving those asshole-types a big mouthful of peanut butter might help with those symptoms, but certainly won't be a cure. Last I checked stupid has no cure.

Jan/02
2017

Seriously asshole, what is wrong with you? Didn't you learn from last time or are you just another Retarded Kid (see last post).

FORT WORTH, Texas, Jan. 1 (UPI) -- An Obamacare statute designed to protect transgender people from healthcare discrimination has been struck down by a federal judge in Texas. The statute -- a rule written in accordance with the Affordable Care Act and enforced by regulators at Health and Human Services -- was also intended to protect access abortion services.

"Plaintiffs claim the rule's interpretation of sex discrimination pressures doctors to deliver healthcare in a manner that violates their religious freedom and thwarts their independent medical judgment and will require burdensome changes to their health insurance plans on Jan. 1, 2017," U.S. District Court Judge Reed O'Connor wrote in his ruling.

Here let me show you how the door opens again: being transgender is LEGAL in the US, having an abortion is ALSO LEGAL in the US. Creating rulings that go against those rules will FAIL, waste time and money, cause unnecessary pain for many and result in more friction within the state. NONE OF THOSE ARE GOOD THINGS. So really Reed, you lost the last time, you're going to lose again. Why continue straightening the deck chairs on the Titanic?

Doctors will treat how they treat, your "judgement" notwithstanding. Creating laws to infringe on doctor-patient privacy is BIG GOVERNMENT inserting itself into the PRIVACY of the population, something supposedly you're against.

So fuck off, cocktard. And welcome to your new title: Asshole fuckwad shitstick moron cockwaffle douchemonkey the first, of 2017.

Jan/01
2017

Incapable Not Unwilling

Let's say you had a kid and he kept running into the door instead of opening it. Let's also say that you spent time explaining why the door had a handle and that handle needed to be turned to unlatch the door and then you pulled (or pushed) with your hand to MOVE said impediment out of the way. You showed how once the physical impediment was removed then and only then the kid could move into the next room. Proud with your careful, patient and thorough explanation you step back to watch this kid apply what he has learned only to see him run face first into the next door and then throw himself on the floor screaming and bruised about why the door was evil and everyone who thought doors should exist were evil to.

That my reader is the definition of a social conservative, who, like the kid described above, would basically be called a retard and put in a special school for humans who can't figure out even the most basic rules in life.

After the United States Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage in 2015, social conservatives turned to statehouses, seeking state laws to let businesses, pastors and government refuse services to LGBT people based on their religious objections to same-sex unions.

Social progressives hoping to hold back that tide appealed to citizens' sense of equality and people's pocketbooks.

Despite the political and economic repercussions that erupted in North Carolina, the American Civil Liberties Union expects an increase in statehouse proposals limiting LGBT protections in 2017. (AP)

Social conservatives are synonymous with the retarded kid I described above. These are people who are totally willing to spend money (note, not THEIR money but their STATE'S money) to bring attention to the issues that personally bother them. Doesn't matter that they won't win. Doesn't matter that it will cause more friction and tension within the state. Doesn't matter that most other civilized societies will be both appalled and repulsed. Doesn't matter that extreme ninnies with swastikas and confederate flags will be standing next to them. No, none of that matters because THEIR feelings are hurt and the whole world needs to know this.

Kind of like the guy that just got elected.

Yep it's the season of stupid, and we will be entertained by the most moronic, most idiotic, most selfish and loathsome people who now believe they have a platform to harangue from. And they do. Welcome to 2017, get your barf bag ready, it's going to be a season of suck.

Dec/29
2016

It's charming when people insist on cleaving to their ideas even when all signs, literal, physical, painted-on-their-glasses, size of "HOLLYWOOD", point otherwise. Of course it takes not just brains but humility to admit when you've been had.

But people would rather die than admit that. Deep inside though, they know, and that only makes it worse.

I could go through a litany of the usual cliches on guns, on women, on abortion, on immigrants but there's no point really. The last election did everyone, me in particular, a very big favor because it brought to light the hate, bigotry and misogyny that was secretly harbored.

There were no half-measures, no half-positions. Either you were THEM or US, plain, simple and divided. The days of compromise are dead, and we have been complicit in that demise, in this we are truly all in agreement.

As I have mentioned before, there is a certain liberating feeling in adopting the "lowest common denominator", after all it's far easier just to punch someone in the head than construct a logical argument. Further, why even try? Most people have formulated an answer even before you speak, that is IF they even give you the change and IF they're willing to listen. But sadly that's not the case and logic has no place in most people's lives, only scientists, judges, doctors and lawyers have that role and they are loathed for it, even if they're the ones who have to save the lives of idiots at the end of the day.

So yes, cling to your rhetoric, I'm sure it will keep you warm at night and safe behind your wall.

Dec/27
2016

Why, when he SAYS he's not of course!

BUFFALO, N.Y. (AP) -- The son of President-elect Donald Trump's New York campaign co-chairman has denounced his father's comments about President Barack Obama and his wife.

Carl Paladino said in remarks appearing Thursday in a weekly publication that he hoped Obama would die from mad cow disease. He called Michelle Obama a male who should be "let loose in the outback of Zimbabwe."[..]

The elder Paladino, a wealthy real estate executive and Buffalo school board member, confirmed to The Associated Press on Friday he made the comments. He said in an emailed statement they had "nothing to do with race."

The problem here is that just ACTING like Trump doesn't give you the same immunity. If Trump had said that he'd get away with it by simply denying he said it. That's worked repeatedly over the election, and even with faced with the actual quote on tape, Trump (and supporters) just shrugs.

But that doesn't work for everyone. As this fucking tool Carl and his family are finding out. The "I'll deny it tomorrow" method of getting out from under takes a skill your money just can't buy, but it can label you a shitstain that your family name will have to scrub for a few decades to get out.

Dec/26
2016

HA HAHAHAHAHAHA! Fuck You!

Lock WHO up?

"She has to go to jail."
-- Trump, on Clinton, before election

"Nah, forget it. That plays great before the election, now we don't care."
-- Trump, on Clinton, after election

Yeah YOU fell for it SUCKAS. Let's just see how long it takes all y'all to wake up to the fact that you've been had. Me? I wasn't had, I saw through this shit before it even started.

Mmmmm so how does that shit taste now eh? Gritty? Chewy? Maybe you'll find some corn in there!

Dec/25
2016

Resolve

Yep it's not 2017 but I already have MY new years resolution in the bag. Since what 50% (or less) of our nation wants, admires, salutes and promotes pure, unvarnished self centered hate and shit slinging I promise to make that my platform for the year, spreading as much caustic vitriol as one gun-boat sized supersoaker can indiscriminately stream.

Oh and without regard for friend or foe.

If it worked for the new president, it certainly can work for me.

Merry fuck you. And fuck you's to all.

Enjoy. I know I will.