u235

As the days count down, and his credibility remains in the crapper W feels little or no compulsion to even try and tell the truth any more. At least before he used to humor America as he tried to put on a straight face, these days he doesn't even go that far:

WASHINGTON (AP) -- President Bush put politics ahead of the facts Tuesday as he sought to blame Congress for high energy prices, saying foreign suppliers are pumping just about all the oil they can and accusing lawmakers of blocking new refineries.

Facts? What facts? The only fact W ever knew that mattered was that he was the president and immune from laws, conscience and the will of the people he was elected to serve.

Yeah, yeah it's hardly news and less than blog-worthy but still cathartic none the less...

I get a kick out of reading the headlines in my spam-box before I delete them. There's almost always a few gems that make me smile. Here's a few from today:

• Hugest Ass! CLICK THE IMAGE TO DOWNLOAD THE VIDEO
• Invitation to world blowjob day
• Titanic dimension without much effort! Short and thin weenies provoke female derision, so take care to increase it!
  Let this wonderful treatment come to the rescue of your manliness!
• Brad pitt wants to get closer

It's almost like a turing test for spam-bots, the output is amusingly phrased in a manner that only machines (and those severely unfamiliar with english grammar) can produce.

Still... world blowjob day? If it has anything to do with Brad pitt having his manliness rescued with a huge ass I know I don't want any part of it.

TEHRAN, Iran (AP) -- A top Iranian judiciary official warned Monday against the ''destructive'' cultural and social consequences of importing Barbie dolls and other Western toys.

Yes this is the same society that sports men so macho that their women have little or no say in their upbringing, marriage, dress or legal voice. And they're afraid of a doll. These big tough guys have been kicked in the nads with a little pink, plastic slipper on the end of a well tanned, if somewhat rubbery foot.

Authorities launched a campaign of confiscating Barbies from toy shops in 2002, denouncing the un-Islamic sensibilities of the iconic American doll. But the campaign was eventually dropped.

It can only be hilarious, in a sad way, that these specimens of masculinity have been reduced to chasing down toys and declaring them a "threat". Is your culture so fucking weak that you can't even let little girls play their dolls?

The Times recently posted an article that propelled itself to the top and has more or less bobbed about the top-five most popular ever since. I'm sure this was in part due to its prominence for two days on the front page with the leader asking why gay men are opting for "marriage".

In a brilliant array of 50's-esque knockoff photos (the wife 'cleaning' under her husband's feet, the husband proudly encircling the wife as she clutches her well done roast) the reader is treated to the inner dialogs of young twenty-something gays as they ponder nuptials.

Frankly I couldn't give a crap about gay marriage one way or another. If people want it, fine. If they hate it, fine. I don't really have any great opinion one way or another. What annoys me about the article, however, is the pretense of mystery.

Gosh, gee, golly, why oh why do young gay men, the types who love to kiss in public, throw lavish parties, and dress in fancy spats, getting married? Who the hell knows, right....?

Rather shameful is you ask me, for someone who is earning money in our military to hate the people that live in his home country. Honestly it makes me wonder why he fights for us at all if he can't abide his fellow citizens.

Well, lets caveat that, he hates all non-christian Americans. That means Jews, Muslims, Athiests, Buddhists, Wiccans and... well, everyone just not christian. In fact he hates them so much this is what he had to say to another soldier:

“People like you are not holding up the Constitution and are going against what the founding fathers, who were Christians, wanted for America!”

Well guess what cocksucker, too fucking bad for you. While you're out there getting shot at remember, you're getting shot at for *all* americans, even us non-christian ones. It's uneducated, fucktards like yourself that made our founding fathers put "freedom of religion" into the constitution as opposed to "freedom to be christian". In fact they didn't even mention god in the pledge when they wrote it originally. If you weren't just a moron maybe you'd know that.

Eric Thompson made money off the Virginia Tech killings. How? He sold a gun that was used in the killing. And he ain't in the least bit sorry because now he's visiting the campus trying to sell more guns to the students directly.

It reminds me of the e-scammers who have pop-ups warning you that your computer may be infected if you don't click on their add. When you do, your computer is promptly infected so now you really do need to buy a product. It's damn similar if you ask me. He sold a gun, it was used to murder people, now he (with the backing of the NRA) wants to sell *more* guns so people can carry them concealed on campus.

Yes, clearly, when you have thousands of young people carrying loaded weapons the place will be safer for everyone. This is because each and every gun-toting person will be firmly in control of their weapon and temper 100% of the time. And if they're startled, scared, drunk or enraged, one shot will then be able to cause 10x or 100x the carnage as everyone takes aim at everyone else.

Eric, take your fucking guns and go home, you already made your buck - you don't have to rub it in anyone's face now.

So the word is that the Pope likes cats. Actually he cared for a number at his home when he lived in Germany. There was even a petition (which failed) to let his cats come with him to Rome. This information about most people wouldn't be a big deal, but you know, this is the Pope.

It's not like I disliked the Pope per se, it's just that I had no real reason ~to like him. But now that he's an avowed cat lover, well, I guess that changes things a bit.

Anyone who loves cats and cares for them (or any animal really) is 'ok' in my book. At least now I know if I were stuck on a plane in the seat next to him we'd have something to talk about...

"JERUSALEM (AP) -- An Israeli court has ruled that shops can sell leavened bread during Passover in violation of Jewish religious law, deepening tensions between observant and secular Jews ahead of the weeklong holiday."

It's a problem, it seems, for the orthodox that non-orthodox (and others) can get access to leavened bread. I don't understand it really, since the freedom to practice religion is supposed to be an essential tenant of Israels existence. So why the hate? And it is hate, when you threaten to burn down the local pizza place if they choose to try and earn a living during the holiday.

''The argument is not about the law,'' said Yehuda Meshi-Zehav, a spokesman for the ultra-Orthodox community. ''It's about people trying to keep Israel as a Jewish country, and people trying to make it the opposite.''

Horseshit. Until Israel kicks out everyone who chooses other than orthodoxy then its simple discrimination to force everyone to conform. Last I checked Israel was a Democracy, and part of that requires equal respect on both sides of an issue.

On the occasion when I stare in the mirror and note all the ravages of age it occurs to me that medicine has a "cure" for these ills. I ponder this for a moment or two and then decide that spending money on myself to improve my looks isn't just shallow but stingy. How can I spend a few thousand on my image when my kids still have to go to college?

... that's how I imagine a rational woman thinking. But clearly not all women meet my definition of "rational". Still, as there are weaknesses in the psyche, there are vultures who prey upon them:

"A Florida plastic surgeon has written about just that in ''My Beautiful Mommy,'' a picture book due out April 28 that tries to calm the fears of kids with parents getting tummy tucks, breast enhancement procedures and nose jobs. [...]

Illustrations show a crook-nosed mom with loose tummy skin under her half shirt picking up her young daughter early from school one day and taking her to a strapping and handsome ''Dr. Michael.''"

Yeah, I wonder just how "strapping" the real Dr. Michael (Dr. Michael Salzhauer) is. Well not really, I googled him. He's pretty ordinary looking, and frankly could use some touching up himself. But he's got a business going on, and he's out to sell it as best he can. Boobs, butts, arms, faces, something his staff I'm sure gets a discount on (to see the published picture of his 'patient affairs' coordinator tossing her boobs out onto the couch like poker chips.

I suppose there's nothing wrong with writing a book that supports your job, but it's still pretty fucking shallow material which is pretty damn hard to justify.

"Diane Kuplack understands.

At 37, Kuplack has six biological children under the age of 12, including 5-year-old twins, along with two older stepchildren from her husband Matt's first marriage. She said it was ''nerve-racking'' trying to decide what, if anything, to tell her children about the breast implant surgery she scheduled for Friday."

Hey Diane nice tits, but how are you going to explain to the kids that you blew their college tuition on getting the implants six years ago? Will you be sure to tell them the reason you can't spend on their wedding was because you have to have those same implants removed?

Then the big day arrives -- mommy's bandages are gone and illustrator Victor Guiza lights up the new and improved mommy with a sparkly princess pink background.

''Mommy, your eyes are sparkling like diamonds,'' the girl exclaims. ''You're the most beautiful butterfly in the whole world.''

Oh hurl....

Ratings at any cost? Well why not? That's what the staff on the Dr.Phil show must have thought when they decided to post bail for Mercades Nichols.

For people who don't know who she is, she's one of a group of teenagers who decided to beat up a peer and post it on YouTube to become famous. This predominantly female group beat, stomped and kicked a cheerleader and found the fame they wanted when it became one of the most watched (and commented on) clips around. Of course they also got their asses arrested.

It seems that the Dr.Phil show is used to helping out "potential guests" with cash, clothes, travel, etc. but the idea of posting bail just to get an interview seems, well repugnant is one word.

It seems that these overzealous staff members might have gone a little too far, even for the talkshow circuit. The Dr.Phil show decided not to invite her to appear since their "guidelines have been compromised."

Still it seems that crime pays, at least in this case it paid free bail. Sure she'll probably wind up with a record and possibly some jail time, but at least Mercades got her 15 minutes of fame...

Even when all his colleagues are boycotting the opening ceremonies, even when members of his own party have passed a resolution condemning China, Bush can't take a hint and contribute.

Frankly it's not surprising, since he's just a little boy in a man's body who can't see beyond the concept of "games". To him it's just another sporting event with lots of people, and China happens to be where its taking place.

Does he represent the American public or American sentiment? Hell no. The Emperor only cares about his clothes...

BEIJING (AP) -- China vowed Saturday to ramp up a campaign requiring Tibetan Buddhist monks to denounce the Dalai Lama and declare their loyalty to Beijing. [...]

The Tibet Daily newspaper reported Saturday that the government pledged to ''strengthen patriotic education'' especially among young monks to help them ''become patriotic, religion-loving and law-abiding.''

Yes fuck you PRC and further fuck your dreams for nationalistic glory under the guise of the upcoming Olympics. I plan on telling my children every day of the Olympics about your actions in Tibet and encourage them to tell their friends about your 1984 tactics.

One more time (get used to hearing it) Fuck You China.

I'm lucky, I own a Volkswagen. Why? Not for any super-special reason you'd see in a commercial, but because the gas tank is on the "euro" side as opposed to most japanese and american cars. As a result the line tends to be shorter on my side of the pump.

Tonight I went and pulled into the station. I get out and notice a young woman (early 20's) with a gold phone clamped to her head standing on the opposite side of the pump. Behind her car is a small japanese shit-box and behind that is an SUV. Now, apparently the shit-box driver just wanted to pull past her and park next to the station office. The guy behind him wanted to use the other pump... but neither could move because phone-girl was blocking all the space.

So they waited.

and they waited.

and they waited still more.

In this time (note that she was standing at the pump *before* I even drove up) I was able to: park, use my card, fill my car (which was on empty - so 15 gallons worth of gas) and as I'm about to get back into my seat an employee comes up behind phone-girl and taps her; "Um, the pump has timed out".

Seems phone-girl couldn't shut the fuck up long enough to actually use the pump. She swiped the card and then stood there for at least 5 - 7 minutes while the people behind her waited, wasting their lives because the person on the other end of the phone was more important than the real people she was blocking.

On the way out I muttered "Un-Fucking believable, Bitch couldn't Shut the Fuck Up." Honestly I probably should have said it to her face...

Another blessing of Bush's management of our economy. Be afraid, be very afraid...

PROVIDENCE, R.I. (AP) -- Lawmakers from California to Kentucky are trying to save money with a drastic and potentially dangerous budget-cutting proposal: releasing tens of thousands of convicts from prison, including drug addicts, thieves and even violent criminals.