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Wow, how did I ever live without knowing this?

Toilet - paper researchers create 3 - ply tissue 12 minutes ago

NEENAH, Wis. (AP) -- If two-ply toilet paper is good, then three-ply tissue must be better. At least that's what toilet-paper researchers in northeastern Wisconsin hope.

Toilet-paper researchers. I'm just astonished. I wonder if they have that printed on their business cards. Further, how do they do research? No, I can't do it... there's too many obsequious jokes to be made here. And I've got more self-esteem than that.

Attention Raymond. You may think your money can buy you the opinion of the US. It's true that the gas companies did it the last two elections, but you're just one fucking cock-munch and not as big or as powerful as the gas and oil conglomerates. Hiding your money behind a fake non-profit organization for the sole purpose of pushing your anti-abortion propaganda on people is a great example of how you have to use smoke and mirrors to get your message across because you can't do it yourself.

Fuck you.

Searches... Searching... To Search...
and not find...

Ok, for some of the people who keep typing in the same searches and coming up with our site here's a few clues to help you on your way:

1. "mom suck"

What does this mean really? Your mom sucks? As in she's a nefarious shrew that causes you angst? C'mon be more specific it might help.

2. henbane perfect world

Not sure what you were searching for with this one, was it lyrics perhaps?

3. getting fuck and suck by ronda

While I have to admire the specific-ness of the search (Hi Ronda!) I'm even more pleased that it turned up one of our posts: "State Sen. Ronda Storms - Butt Monkey". Bless you Google, bless you.

4. virgin sex is dull nothing special

Well, a little jaded there aren't we? I have to presume however the good news is that things can only be looking up after that...

5. "jdk vs sdk" and different between jdk and sdk

HELLO SUN - PEOPLE ARE STILL ASKING THE SAME DAMN QUESTION, GET A CLUE!!! No one really knows the difference, maybe you need to pick one or the other, or finally define the difference eh?

6. girls needing to pee stuck in traffic

I sympathize. Anyone stuck in traffic needing to pee is pretty much SOL unless they're really creative (I know some guy who had his wife hold a cup to pee into it and then huck it out the window only to have it splash back at her), or utterly desperate. It's even worse when you're at a complete halt and there's no, repeat NO cover at all. And you're in the middle lane. Personally I try to think violent thoughts.

7. office 2007 sucks

Yes. Yes it does. No more questions on that one.

and finally 8. engine shut off when burning out

Personally I think shutting things off when they're burning is a really good idea.

Next question?

Most people can remember when Lloyd Bensen bitch slapped Quayle with the old "Senator you're no Jack Kennedy" zinger.

*chuckle* Ahh, good times.

Well it's time for the reprise in the form of "Palin? She ain't no Hillary." Sorry, nope. She hasn't the education, the experience, the background or the (ahem) balls to be Hillary. Hell she couldn't even pull off the Orange Jumpsuit if it were Gitmo if you ask me.

What she does have is Brittany-eque news. Clearly a fabu-mom who could edumacate her daughter into avoiding teen pregnancy (but wait! the daughter is going to marry the father... of course they're not saying *which* father). Next up watch while Palin's daughter goes into detox, gets a skeevy PR manager and her ex-husband gets the VP of the US pregnant!

Boring.

Anyway someone needs to tell Mr McCain that women just don't get elected, no matter who they are, no matter if the fucking sun shines out their arse. I guess he doesn't remember Mondale and Geraldine. The fact is that a man - ANY man is more electable than a woman.

Women didn't get the right to vote in the US until after black men. And the road to the president is fraught with parallels...