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Waiting for a plane isn't terribly much fun if you're a standard passenger. Without the plush lounge, free snacks and lavish bar, the majority of cattle just do our best to be comfortable from one awkward cramped location to the next. Most gate-side waiting areas are pretty scrofulous, with the seats at a minimal level of comfort that probably just barely passes above the standard for "inhumane". Physical accommodations aside, there's the additional pleasure of the amalgam of humanity with which we share space. Depending on the location of the airport and the destination of the flight your fellow passengers can range from:

- Sullen and dour with a 15% chance of openly hostile (Chicago O'Hare, 5am)
- Aloof and snobbish (LAX, 8pm)
- Dazed and oblivious (NY LaGuardia, 5pm)
- Tired and semi-congenial (Boston Logan, 2:30pm)

While those are general categories and there are plenty of gradations in between, the "cell-phone psycho" can be a source of either great public amusement or public exasperation. I was in Logan at 2:30 one afternoon when just such an individual was around, and her overly loud, overly animated, overly lengthy cell-phone monologue was causing consternation amongst the other passengers ("My God, do you know she's been on that phone now for over two hours?" the pale but pudgy woman next to me observed. "Really? I wonder what brand of phone that is, must have a hella good battery," I replied.)

Ignorant to the irritated looks around her, this woman was alternatively howling with laughter, exclaiming emphatically or just flat out chattering with the rapid-fire cadence of an AK-47 with the trigger pinned. And loudly. No one for fifteen meters wasn't aware of her topic of conversation, nor her expressed opinion.

Now I'm not the most social individual, but I do have a certain sense of when my behavior might be annoying to the people around me. One might suppose that if she were to look around she would see the reddish glint in the expression of most of her fellow passengers that could signify a transition from loathing to venomous contempt. Apparently, lacking a healthy sense of self-preservation or simply not caring was a higher priority than pissing off an entire plane full of passengers.

As we eventually boarded, I could hear the muted murmurings within the queue of travelers. My thoughts were that most were either overjoyed to be locked in a metal tube without access to phone service for the next six hours or, more likely, considering how long a delay it might cause to stuff the woman into the jet nacelle as it was warming up.

My money would be on the latter.