There have been lots of articles lambasting those of, let's say, more plebeian tastes who find pleasure in the adorning of their holiday lawn. There have always been detractors that feel the simplicity of green boughs and faerie lights, perhaps a ribbon or two, were all the spirit of the season called for. Of course the anti-plastic santa/snowman/rudolph contingent now have something far greater to fear... the creeping horde of inflatable statuary.
The Times did a lavish article, interviewing people who both loved and hated these garish constructions. And, quite as one would expect, there's a factory in Texas that claims to be the primary source of "Airblowns".
"The magic of the Airblown is that you buy it, plug it in, and it’s ready to go," said Sharlene Jenner, the marketing manager for Gemmy, a company that first made its mark six years ago with a wall-mounted singing fish known as Big Mouth Billy Bass, and began making Christmas floats soon after. "You’re going to make a big statement without 20 hours of work. It’s a lot of decoration for the dollar, in other words."
It's faintly amusing that even those formerly accused of violating tasteful decorating etiquette due to plastic lawn ornaments have negative impressions of the air-filled sacks, however one comment from the article in particular stuck in my mind:
But the inflatables have brought the notion of Christmas self-expression to another plane. Now, the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, that televised triumphal march that inaugurates the season, can live on in miniature for weeks at a time, swaying and bobble-heading across the front lawn of anyone willing to pay the electric bill " maybe a thousand dollars if you keep them inflated all the time, less if you leave the skins of your Christmas characters sprawled on the ground most of the day, their crumpled faces staring blankly at the sky or the sod, depending.
That last bit there - about how they looked when deflated popped into my head as I passed between two neighbors who apparently were in a bit of a war of competition with their inflatable snowmen. It finally hit, as I made my way out of eyesight of the collapsed piles of fabric what they really resemble when flattened, and now it makes even more sense why I detest them so much. When they're not erect, they look like nothing so much as a used condom, and while you ponder that tidbit realize as well just how much sense that really makes.
You want descriptions? Get a dictionary. Better go waste time reading the news or play some games on Yahoo or MSN or some shit like that.
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