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HELSINKI, Finland (AP) -- Ever heard of the Mobile Phone Throwing World Championship? It was held in Finland this weekend. Old phones were supplied for contestants who were allowed to pick which kind of phone they wanted to throw.

The men's winner threw his phone 292 feet. The women's winner tossed her phone 167 feet, a new world record according to the organizers. She said she has tossed a cell phone a time or two before.
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There were four competition categories: men, women, juniors and freestyle.

My suggestion? Let competitors snatch phones out of the hands of people actually using them (lets say in cars, theaters and restaurants) and then throw them. Bonus points awarded if you hit the original owner. Double points if you nail them in the Bluetooth headset…

Well this is a real winner in my opinion. The Federal Government (read: Assholes at Large) have removed Evolutionary Biology from the list of accepted fields of study that receive education grant money. This means if you’re a low-income student you will NOT get money if you study it.

Uh, hello?

Apparently our fucked up administration has decided that they could “accidentally” remove it from the list. Accident? Hardly. No one, but no one is buying their statement that it magically and mysteriously vanished from the Department of Education’s list of approved majors. It’s just another example of the freedom our governmental administrators feel they have in simply doing what they want, regardless of the ethics, morals or sanity involved.

I think it’s criminal, on the same scale as Stalin, and Hitler, to manipulate scientific truth to suit political needs. The idea that scientists have to devote their energies to monitoring and justifying the existence of their fields instead of in actual research suggests nothing so much as the full force return of the Dark Age mentality. Driven by the clear arrogance of our President who sees fit to ignore the laws of our nation as he chooses, all agencies have embraced the notion that the rules and regulations exist only as a suggestion.

This is what you get when you elect a retarded, religious extremist for a leader.

Ms. Arellano also posted a statement, saying if she is "arrested on holy ground", she will know that "God wants me to be an example of the hatred and hypocrisy of the current policy of this government".

The story here is that Ms. Arellano is an illegal immigrant that was sent back to Mexico and returned and has been identified as just what she is - and illegal immigrant. Her only rationale for staying is her son, whom she had here in the US. Her son has a "medical condition", and he gets better treatment here in the US than he would back in her home nation. That condition? ADHD. Yeah.

On the one hand I understand the need for immigrant labor in the US. From the stereotypical image of migrant farm labor to day laborers doing heavy lifting in construction. I understand the lure of coming to the US where we treat people with dignity and respect, even after they've broken our laws. The immigration authority knows where she is, they haven't dragged her away in chains. They'll get her to leave, I'm sure, but they'll give her a nice seat on a plane - far better I'm sure than the ride she took to sneak back into the US.

I'm mildly disgruntled about the whole "come to the US to give birth" thing. Anchor babies however are no news. Yes once you're born here you're a citizen, but does that give your parents automatic privileges to remain here? No, I don't agree. What it does give to the child is the ability to return to the US once they can travel on their own and fend for themselves. If the child has no American relatives, or friends to care for them here then it makes sense to send them back with their parents the people who decided to have them in the first place. This isn't a game, it's a child's life. I can't understand the parent willing to give up access to their child unless the child's survival was at stake. Considering his "medical condition" of ADHD I hardly think that's the case.

Boiling it all down what we have is a woman who had a baby here in the selfish hope that SHE could stay. When it came down to being deported she didn't think about what it meant for the child, just herself.

"I'm not a terrorist", said Ms. Arellano, who came to the United States illegally nine years ago and is facing her second deportation. "I'm only a single mother with a son who’s an American citizen".

And.... that still doesn't change the fact that you're breaking the law by being here.

All that aside the thing that really pisses me off, and sways me from mildly annoyed to "boot her ass the fuck out of here pleasenowktnx" is her judgement about the US. Excuse me but she's telling us what God thinks? Sorry bitch, the Pope you ain't.

Ok so she runs to a church. Huh. Last I checked Immigration Authority agents weren't pure-blooded Hungarians with an aversion to sunlight. The very idea that she can "pit God" against national policy is outrageous, and nothing more than a pathetic attempt to grandstand.

"I didn't allow them to deport me, and the community is supporting me," she said. "I'm not afraid of anything because I'm in the house of God."

Well bitch, that house of God is on American soil, and you're not welcome here any more. I suggest you move your operation to a house of God in a nation where you belong. And when it comes down to it, I'm confident God won't do anything to prevent immigration from busting your ass for no other reason than for selfishly calling on God to deal with your own bad judgement.

This is an interesting article: The trouble when Jane becomes Jack http://www.nytimes.com/2006/08/20/fashion/20gender.html. The main focus of the piece is the topic of women becoming men. Yes, women physically undertaking the necessary medical steps of going from female to male: mastectomies, hormone treatment, and possibly even adding (as Gene Wilder once poetically called it) a "schvansenschtukel". The most fascinating part of this article is the reaction of the lesbian society. In a nutshell, while it's ok to ~want to be a man, it's very much ~not ok to become one. Partners break up, women who raise child together break the family. Why?

One woman in the article says that while she's attracted to butch women, the underlying fact is that she likes women. I guess it's great for her partner to slap on a fake mustache or goatee, she can love that, she can kiss that, she can even fuck that - but when the facial hair becomes genuine then the romance is over.

Ok, even I had a hart time typing that with a straight face.

So that's the article in a nutshell, complete with snippets of interviews of women who have become, or broken up with transgendered ... uh ... people. Now, it's time for the editorial - the part that makes this a blog and not just a review of something someone else wrote.

What I take away from this is that love for these women IS only skin deep. In the most superficial sense these lesbians "loved" it when their partner wore a fake beard and a strap-on, but couldn't love the same person when they took the step of making it real.

Don't get me wrong, in no way do I think there's a problem if someone who, deep down is totally convinced that they were born the wrong gender, takes the radical steps to switch over. In fact it makes complete sense to me that someone who has been longing, emulating what that feels "right" to them, eventually becomes that image in flesh. I see nothing perverse about it, in fact I find it honest. These people weren't wannabes or posers, they were genuine in their commitment to become a member of the opposite sex. Genuine enough to undergo permanent (and I imagine painful) surgeries, to take pills regularly, convince counselors that this is what they really wanted. My problem isn't with them, it's with the lesbians.

Ok, maybe it's not with all lesbians. Women who love female form, well ok, it's not my cup of tea but I can understand it. It's the butch-loving lesbians that are crying foul when their bull dyke partners become men. Explain precisely how you can love someone who's packaged like a man but not love that same person (who USED to be a woman) when they become one? It's not like they don't remember being a woman. It's not like they don't have XX genes. It's just that the packaging is now permanent. Hello hypocrisy?

It may not be the case in all butch/femme relationships, but if I were a bull I'd check out if my lady's love were more than just skin deep before I committed to a serious relationship with them "Hey baby, would you still love me if I were a man....?"

It's amusing that even though the British are the ones that actually foiled the plot to blow up aircraft, that our president is attempting to give the credit to his wiretapping program. To the best of my recollection while there might have been some assistance from the US and Pakistan, the USA was not the one that broke this scheme, or nailed the perps. Furthermore to say that their arrest is a direct result of the administrations illegal wiretapping program is...yes you guessed it...BULLSHIT.

While the president is borrowing a theme from Iran by dealing with the setback in parts with threats and arrogance, what the judge had to say was adamantly clear:

“There are no hereditary kings in America and no powers not created by the Constitution,” she wrote, rejecting what she called the administration’s assertion that the president “has been granted the inherent power to violate not only the laws of the Congress but the First and Fourth Amendments of the Constitution itself.”

Abuse of power has been a hallmark of this presidency, and it has cost America in prestige, influence, power and security. The world is NOT a safer place today than it was after 9/11. America is at the losing end of a short fuse, even sadder because even if we weren't the one to light it - we're the one left holding the bomb.

It takes a helluva ego to justify why your own personal opinion is more important than the truth. As in the case of so many scientific "truths" George Bush and his powers of bullshit continue to impede areas of progress in any category he doesn't personally agree with. Plan B is a prime example.

First, for you pro-choice nazi fucktards, Plan B is NOT an abortive agent. One more time - taking Plan B if you're already pregnant does NOTHING. Ok? It's a contraceptive. It PREVENTS you from getting pregnant. I don't see the Right-to-Fascist-Lifers protesting condoms, diaphragms or the pill. The problem is they need a flag to wave and lying suits them just fine. The administration has already admitted that the reason they chose to deny public access to Plan B was to appease constituents. I think it's nice how the government of all Americans only caters to a select, albeit noisy, few.

Like most bureaus, the FDA has become a tool of the king of tools. Blatantly ignoring the fact that the FDA its self overwhelmingly approved the over-the-counter sale of Plan B the President and his flunkies has decided for women that they know better than the scientists and doctors with the actual degrees and experience in the field.

It's amusing that at this late a date Pro-mysogenistic parties are lambasting the administration for the fact that they've been dragged kicking and screaming to admit that they made the wrong decision. Of course, if the FDA had been allowed to approve this, as they originally recommended the anti-abortion-nazi's wouldn't have an issue to bitch about today.

Driving in to work today. I'm in a turn lane, there's a corvette convertible next to me with the top down. Inside the car a man is gesturing wildly, catching my attention because of the violence of the gestures. I watch more carefully, thinking that the man must be in an heated argument with someone in the seat next to him. I wonder if he's going to start hitting them.

The light turns green for the corvette, and as it drives away I can clearly see through the rear window that there is no one in the passenger seat. Not even a child.

People really do scare me.

So we bought an IPod Shuffle from Best Buy a little over a month ago. Wouldn't you know, but the little fucker wouldn't hold a charge after the first three weeks. Drained it to zero several times, tried everything, nada. Ok well as I was checking out from Best Buy the lady at the register talked me into spending an additional few bucks for a "replacement policy". Two years, if it breaks bring it back and they'll replace it. See that's just what she said, however, as it's easy to guess that isn't quite how it works.

First off I saved the receipt. I always save receipts. It's virtually compulsive. So armed with the defective unit and the receipt it's back to Best Buy we go.... but no that's NOT how the replacement policy works. See they never gave me a brochure for the replacement, and the brochure says that you have to call this 888 number. Fine, then I call. From work. The next day. First thing the lady asks (after a 15 min wait on the phone because their automated system was "defective") "do you have your receipt"? Well no, I have it at home - and regardless of the fact that they can SEE that I bought the unit in their records and they can SEE that I bought a replacement policy they won't help me till I have the magic paper in my hands. Whatever, I'll call when I get home.

I get home. I figure I hate dealing with people, I'll just fill in the form online. I find the link, type in the number from the receipt, put in the cause of the defect as close as possible and hit enter. "DENIED". WTF??? I start the process again, this time I'm going to enter a DIFFERENT defect, but.... when I put in the number it tells me I already had a claim denied but if I think this is "in error" I should call their 888 number. WTF%$*)%@!&$!!! Ok, I go get the phone and I call, this time armed with the receipt and secure in the knowledge that I paid my money they WILL give me the replacement I was promised.

I get some youngish sounding male on the phone. He finds the product and the fact that I started the claim. He asks what's wrong. I tell him. This is where the bullshit REALLY starts:

me: The unit no longer charges, I need to get a replacement.
toady: I'm sorry that's not covered.
me: What do you mean that's not covered? When I bought the replacement policy the lady at the register said if it was broken or ceased to work that the replacement policy covered it. Well it has ceased to work, and I need a replacement.
toady: I'm sorry she didn't explain the policy correctly, but that's not covered.
me: How does the fact that it doesn't charge not get covered? It's broken.
toady: Well that's not considered normal wear and tear.
me: Well that IS covered?
toady: Well the item is covered if it broke during typical use.
me: This WAS typical use. We plug it in, it doesn't charge - that's typical use.
toady: Well, I'm sorry but it's not covered.
me: Fine then a piece broke off and now it can't be charged, is THAT covered?
toady: What piece broke off?
me: A piece that is needed to make it charge.
toady: No that's not covered.

Ok, now typically I'm polite to people when I'm on service/tech support calls but it was hot and I was pissed so I decided to kick it into full snarl and let him have it.

me: Look, I paid my money for a two year replacement plan. The plan covers the item if it is broken during normal use. I didn't use pliers on it. I didn't drop it. It's BROKEN. I paid my money and I want a replacement. If you can't help me I want your manager to explain to me why I paid money for a service I'm not getting.

toady: One minute please I'll get my manager.

....several minute wait....

toady: My manager is here now to help you.
manager: Sorry for the inconvenience, how can I help you?
me: I bought an IPod shuffle and it won't charge.
manager: Is it an external charging unit?
me: No. It's part of the IPod its self. You plug in the IPod and it won't charge.
manager: I'll be happy to send you the paperwork for the replacement.

Ok, so supposedly now I get a label to sent it in to Best Buy and I get a gift card for a replacement. I'm not all that happy - since I was told I could just bring the unit IN to the store and get a new one, but fuck - if this is what it takes then fine.

Honestly I don't understand why I have to deal with obtuse service toadies - unless of course Best Buy wants to put as many barriers in the way as possible before I can get the service I paid for. Which of course I'm sure they do. I'm certain the toadies on the phone get rewarded for every claim they can deny (probably have little stamps on their cubicles in the shape of a screaming stick-figure for each customer they manage to get rid of, like pilots have for kills on their aircraft). Maybe I'm not bitchy enough from the start. I try to respect the person on the other end of the phone, at least until it becomes apparent that they're deliberately trying to mislead me. Maybe the motto should be "Bitch first, explain later"... but I hate the idea of making that a policy when I prefer to think that people actually -want- to help me. But then again there must be a reason for the motto "the squeaky wheel gets the grease".

In any event, be forewarned. When dealing with Best Buy replacement policies: save the receipt, and ask for a manager right away. It will save you minutes wasted from your life better spent elsewhere.