u235

I'm a polite person. As a matter of fact I'm a very polite person. I go out of my way to be both pleasant and polite to everyone, regardless of how I interact with them. I say "thank you" to wait staff when they refill my water. I smile and go "have a nice day" to the pock marked old hispanic lady with the missing teeth at the grocery checkout (she now smiles back, she used to be rather startled when I'd treat her nicely - unlike the other patrons). For a brief time I worked in the service industry, at a gift store. I learned that even though I had to be nice to people - they would be nice back and it helped sell items AND made it a pleasant experience for the shopper (thus more likely to return). It also made the job less stressful.

Outside of formal interactions, there's the accidental ones where you hold the door or bump into someone accidentally. This is where the buck has been stopping.

If a stranger holds the door for me I always thank them. Nicely. I expect the same. Lately though I've had long-haired bitches flaunt by and I've taken to saying "You're WELcome" snidely after they breeze through. I'm not your door man bitch. Next time I'm dropping it on you as you step over the threshold. How do you like your coffee now byatch?

Bumps. If I'm crusing by in the grocery store and I graze someone with the basket on my arm because they backed up or walked into me I say "Oops, sorry" and smile. If the person in question is going to give me a hostile look - I've now taken to adding "OR NOT" more loudly and walking on. Next time I should ram your scrawny ass into the freezer case "accidentally".

The other day I was looking at some items on the wall of a store and someone had come up behind me quietly. As I backed up to get a better look at some things that were higher up I clipped them with my heel. So of course, I turn around and say sorry. The fucker ignores me. Totally. I'm speaking directly TO him. Fine. I make my selection and as I walk away I turn to him and go "Gosh I hope you're Ok!" and leave, squelching the reflex to hip check him over the display case and into the next isle. No penalty box baby, I can get away with slashing in this arena.

I find polite social interaction varies a lot from state to state really. New York, where I was raised, if you make eye contact as you walk along a crowded street people are quick to smile or say "hi" even. In Massachusetts where I'm currently located they're hostile motherfuckers who blanch at the slightest infringement of the five foot "cylinder of privacy" around their fat asses. I blame it on the whole insular, commonwealth attitude, being proud that they've never set foot out of their 15 square mile town 10 generations later (can you say "inbreeding" kids? I knew you could!).

The word is this - I will continue to give people the benefit of the doubt on the first interaction. But if you're gonna cop some shit attitude with me, expect it back - in spades.