u235

One of the openers in a conversation that I truly detest is "Ok, don't get mad but....". You know the next thing the person is going to say is that they did something that is guaranteed to be upsetting, yet by hypothetically preempting with the truth you're now hamstrung into glowering acceptance. Well no, not me personally, but I'm sure a lot of people find themselves in a position of wanting to launch into a fully justified tirade but muzzled by the 'first-strike apology'.

A further irritant is how the 'first-strike apology' is deployed. More often than not it's used in a public setting with innocent bystanders held hostage as collateral against a genuine counter-attack of outrage. Naturally what happens next is that when you do get alone the perp, they feign surprise that you're "still on that topic" and fall back to the previous "but I already said I was sorry" excuse.

Yes it's true that honesty is the best policy more often than not, but feeling that you're justified in getting away scott free because you admitted what happened before the victim was aware isn't fair. I've been in several situations where the person who caused me the grief then went on to get incensed themselves when I did get mad anyway. Just apologizing for doing something retarded isn't going to spare you my wrath, mitigate it yes, but spare you no. You did something wrong, now I get to vent about it. That's how things work.