sTmykal

I have my rituals just like anyone else. For a long time, my morning work ritual is to grab some strawberry Pop-Tarts and an orange juice from the work vending machines. I liked this ritual. It not only put some food in my empty stomach, but I enjoy strawberry Pop-Tarts.

The key word is *strawberry*. Usually there are cherry Pop-Tarts right next to the strawberry ones, which would do if the former were sold out. But lately...lately our vending machine stocker person has not been so kind. For in place of the red fruit flavored paste filled pre-baked snacks they have.... S'MORE flavored Pop-Tarts. That's right - the great taste of CHOCOLATE and MARSHMALLOWS in a frickin' POP-TART. Perfect for breakfast.

If that weren't bad enough, any other "breakfast-y" choices have been reduced to "honey buns" (whose moisture lined packages of sticky sweet less-than-digestible wads of dough make me vomit a little inside my mouth every time I see them). A variety of honey buns. Sugary glazed cheese cake confections. Mashed and mangled Suzi-Qs and other cream filled crumbly chocolate cake disaters. And now - small slices of "muffin loaf", that taste more like wet bread than muffin.

I probably wouln't be bitching if only the vending machine stocking person would realize that it is not neccessary to fill not one, but TWO rows of S'more Pop-Tarts. Not one but TWO rows of Rasberry Muffin Loaves (not even a single Banna Nut Muffin Loaf, which is the most tolerable). Not one but TWO rows of the CRAP THAT I PASS UP AT ANY OPPORTUNITY.

But damnit. I like to have a spot of something before beginning my day. I could go downstairs and pay $3 for a bagel from the crazy lady behind the counter at the "cafe" (i.e. the broom closet that serves as the food stand for the entire building - did anyone ever think that a full service deli would fly wonderfully in the lobby of an office building whose closest food choice is McDonalds?!?). Or I could get off my lazy ass and go to the store and buy a couple boxes of pop-tarts and send the vending machine companies profits into a sprial.

But. As I said. I like my ritual.