sTmykal

The conversation usually goes like this...

Person: Hey Mike - want to do something?
Mike: Sure. What did you have in mind?
Person: I don't know. Can you come up with something for me?
Mike: A fall from a great height would probably do you some good. Let's try that.

Nevermind that this happens on an almost daily basis when people come to linger in my cube around lunch time, knowing neither where they want to go nor who is driving, but the week-end is starting to look like this too. Be it friends or family, all ask for my time but have no idea what they want to do with it. Even worse is when they seem to think the plans hinge on "when it's good for me", when they are the ones with spouses, children and time schedules. I just have me. It's not too hard for me to work up a schedule for myself.

I'm pretty much a "first come first serve" kinda guy. But it doesn't help me when someone asks me to block out time for them a week in advance and then switch their plans at the last minute - especially after I've either turned down other invitations or held off doing something because I'm the responsible one. It seems like common courtesy, but it's lost on some.

New rule - Those who request my presence shall in the future have a written statement of purpose and should be prepared to present this statement along with a Power Point slide presentation detailing how I will benefit from their ill wrought plans for social engagement.

And now, some insights into my personal life angst...

So I've got this birthday thing. Saturday is the actual day. For some incredibly stupid reason which I cannot fathom, my mom insists on having some sort of get together every year for it. "So what are we doing for your birthday?" she will ask. I honestly do not care about the celebration aspect, so I just shrug. We generally have a cook-out and do a two-fer of my birthday with Mother's Day thrown in.

But oh my god, I wish my family could get on the same page. If they INSIST on this shin-dig, then they should maybe TALK TO EACH OTHER about what the plan is.

Is it Saturday? Or is it better for everyone to get together on Sunday? What kind of food do you want? What kind of cake? These are all questions being put to me by my two sisters and my mother - when the details really don't matter to me! It WASN'T my idea! "I'm fine with our normal cook-out menu and whatever day works for everyone." I'll say, "just as long as we have family together - that's all that's important to me."

They just don't get it.

Last week, my eldest sister said "I've got this thing with my daughter on Saturday, can we make it Sunday?" Sure, I said, doesn't matter to me. My second oldest sister told me in an email last Wednesday "Ok, Sunday it is. Let me know what you want to eat - I'm handling the food." Uh... barbecue chicken sounds good. Whatever.

And of course, I just got off the phone with my mom, who was asking what kind of food I wanted and was looking forward to SATURDAY - which she had requested off from work".

...

Do they just not understand that I want nothing special planned for me, mostly because of this very reason? They don't communicate their own plans for whatever it is - insisting that "they have it handled" when they don't! So now there's going to be family drama about this whole deal when really I had planned to spend my birthday doing something I would have enjoyed. Like cleaning the garage.