sTmykal

Self-censorship is probably one of the things that your average person does not practice as well as one would hope. But then again - why practice it at all? If you've got something to say, then say it. I've always tried to follow that motto. Indeed, things just come tumbling out of my mouth before I have a chance to stop myself.

And why do I try to stop myself?

Well, ok - for the most part, we bite our tongues in order not to offend those around us. But what if what is offensive is the truth? Do we then duck behind anonymity and hope that no one finds out that we were the one who had the audacity to say what was really on our mind?

Case in point - my web presence spans 10 years. Anyone with some gumption can prolly trace my web trail back to one of my first postings to Usenet or even my first home page. Whatever. I don't care. Or do I?

In the past year or so I've been tracked down by an ex-girlfriend and had my online journal thingamajig pulled into an RSS feed by a co-worker, and then watched regularly by another co-worker. Yeah - well - that's my fault for maintaining some sort of trendy community driven web page. Honestly, it's just so I can keep in touch with some of my various online friends across the country - not so that I can expose myself to the world. It's also nice to have a convenient place where you can write what you think without the annoyance of maintaining a web page.

There comes a time with personal blogs or whatever, where you just say what's on your mind. And damnit - people may not like it. I can't really apologize for that. But I often stop myself from saying anything, because it's not like my most private thoughts need to be posted to the Internet. Just like I'm doing now. You folks really don't give a shit, and I know it. So what's the big deal?

Well here you go. Despite the fact that some people (i.e. people from work - Omi doesn't count because I know he doesn't care one way or the other) are reading my stuff and gaining a personal insight that I really don't want them to have, but there's always the possibility that what I post may get back to the various managers around the office... as in my managers. So I try, at the very least, to not talk about work in my entries. Here's an example as to why...

I'm in my cube, as usual, minding my own business, when in comes a co-worker. We hang out on a site in particular and often make posts to the site. My co-worker informed me that the time stamps of our posts were being tracked within the office to make sure we're not wasting work time making those posts.

I can see the need to keep employees productive, but it's also a little creepy. So if we're being watched on one site, then why not others? Why not this one? As I said, it's pretty easy to track me down through some simple google searches.

And I don't feel like switching nicks. I've had this one for a long time, and really - it's me. People I *want* to know can find me with it. So comes the downside of being recognizable - that those whom I'd rather not be all up in my business are doing just that. Getting up in my business.

And now I've probably gone and offended someone. Well, whatever. If I've somehow ticked someone off over something so simple as being honest, then they need to grow some skin and get over it. Would you rather have me lie to you?

And since this is a web site devoted to bitching, ranting, and talking about what sucks, here's some more truth in response to the "things co-workers do that annoy the piss out of you" post.

At my office I have co-workers who...

• Talk with their mouths full of food.
• Bealch as they stand over your shoulder, without thought to the noxious smelling breath that they're blowing in your face
• Plant their fingers on my monitor, leaving fingerprints all over it. There is no reason for touching a monitor. Just point at the screen, don't stab it.
• Read over your shoulder as you type away on your computer or even still, must take an active inventory of whatever it is that's up on your computer screen the moment they walk into your cube.
• Ceaselessly complain about treatment from other co-workers or gossip about "what's going on" in the company at any given moment, but make no steps to adjust their situation or right what they see is wrong. Do something about, coz I sure can't help you.
• Insist on sitting for 30 minutes in my cube talking about nothing that I'm interested in. Just because you have nothing to do doesn't mean that I have to entertain you.
• Take forever to get to the point, but can't seem to let someone finish their thought, even though we've patiently waited for them to finish their sentence
• Hack up a lung regularly from smoking
• Freak out if you don't do things their specific way
• Cry foul on others mistakes, yet gloss over things when they make the same screw up

Over all I like my office, my co-workers, and how we do things. Though I paint a horrific picture - these are just the things that, after 7 years, have slowly worked their way under my fingernails like so much hot bamboo.