Nov/10
2012

Losing A Few Good Men To... Adultery?

Today General Petraeus resigned. Also, and less notable, the head of Lockheed Martin also bailed from his post for the same reason. Over and over we see the same ritual, people who have a fling outside of their marriage leaving jobs that often they are the most qualified to fill. And it leads me to wonder, if our society were more accepting of sex outside of marriage, what would life be like? I can understand why Petraeus stepped down. It wasn't merely the image of a man in charge of secrets could be undone by secrets of his own, it was of someone who felt that he'd betrayed a primary trust and thus could not continue with his other duties. It's sad and I regret his loss because he's capable and effective. But most of all he's human. Is an affair really that big a crime? The U.S. has some funny standards. We basically have porn on daytime TV and horrific violence on 24/7. We think it's ok to kill each other if we feel threatened, but not when it's a not-yet-human fetus. We're divided on if gays have the same rights as heterosexuals and if alcohol is more acceptable than drugs. But sex, which doesn't directly harm others, is considered a crime worth losing your job, your status and even your family. Of course there's lots of sex-outside-of-marriage on TV. But that doesn't mean we approve of it... kinda. Adultery nabs people from all beliefs and professions. Some of the most evangelical preachers have been brought down by the "hot church secretary" or worse. Yet we still love to crucify them just as they crucified others while boffing someone on the side. Imho adultery should be handled like pot, legalize it and take away the stigma and excitement of doing something illegal. People like to fuck. If they choose to fuck on the side, that's between them and the person they promised to be faithful to. Frankly if people were more honest they wouldn't make exclusivity part of the expectation. But that's a future yet to come.
3 comments
Comment from:  
There’s a lot here to reply to. First off, I don’t have a problem with governmental leaders stepping down when they are caught in adultery. That’s not a puritanical position because of the sex, but evidence of untrustworthiness. If a person is willing to betray the vows to the person they married, then they probably won’t think very much of betraying the public trust. If they were single and wanted to fuck around, go for it. They get a divorce and then fuck around, that’s fine too. If they have an open relationship with their spouse, then we’re golden. But most of them don’t. I don’t want people willing to break their vows in charge of my government or military. As for preachers, I only really jeer at the fire and brimstone hate mongering preachers who fail. Hypocrisy deserves my contempt. There are some preachers who are much more in line with the failings of man and striving to be better instead of absolutist perfection. When they fail, there is still a betrayal of trust to their congregation, but that has nothing to do with me. Let them work it out amongst themselves. Moving on to the last point. Adultery is legal. It’s just morally weak. Open relationships aside, most people believe marriage to be an exclusivity contract. If my wife wanted someone else, I would expect her to end it with me before moving on, because we stood in front of friends and family and made promises. I would do her the same courtesy. Divorce may hurt, but not nearly as much as the backstabbing natural of infidelity. Ending the vow is different from breaking it, in my opinion. Sure, people like getting squelchy with each other. I’ve very much an advocate of less restrictive views on people making the beast with two backs. Or three, or four. But only in the framework of a trust and acknowledgement by all partners. You can say that grinding groins is nothing but a physical act. That’s true. The act itself isn’t wrong, or immoral. It’s when you lie and cheat on someone else that you cross the line of right and wrong. Personally, I don’t want liars and cheaters in positions of authority. I don’t care if them embezzled, cheated on their taxes, or fucking their wife’s sister. Those people aren’t the best caretakers of trust and authority. We can find someone better, regardless of the other skills the liar brings to the table.
11/10/12 @ 08:15
Comment from:  
I agree with Rou about elected officials. Maybe its fair, maybe its not fair to hold people in public power to a higher standard of trust. If they can’t keep a vow to someone they claim to love how can we trust them to keep a vow to you and I? Petraeus may be a great military man, but he obviously lost self control in this one area and broke a trust. At least Petraeus “manned up” and took responsibility. As far as adultery among us mere peons? When folks like us betray a trust, whether it be to legally married spouse or personal commitment to a significant other, it is pretty grand douchery and a sign something is seriously wrong with the relationship. However, the betrayal is far closer to home - a hurt lover and/or family. It’s not the public’s concern. As far as the legality of adultery? There may some states with adultery laws left on the books, but I think all but the most backwoods judge would laugh adultery charges out of court. It you are talking the court of public opinion, I agree. Society is hypocritical of the whole adultery thing. They practically celebrate it on one side and scorn it on the other side.
11/10/12 @ 08:52
Comment from:  
Both great comments, btw, thank you. I appreciate the replies.
11/10/12 @ 11:04