Evan S. Cohen: Proof That Record Industry Lawyers Really Are Douchebags

Imagine you just found out that your kid posted a nasty clip on YouTube belittling on of her peers. What would you do? I mean most parents with a sense of ethos and civility (which hopefully we want pass on to our children) would do a lot of things, the first of which is take down the offensive video. But not Evan. When his daughter offered to take it down he decided it was better to leave the hurtful material up. Not very surprising considering he's an record industry lawyer...
After school one day in May 2008, Mr. Cohen’s daughter, known in court papers as J. C., videotaped friends at a cafe, egging them on as they laughed and made mean-spirited, sexual comments about another eighth-grade girl, C. C., calling her “ugly,” “spoiled,” a “brat” and a “slut.” J. C. posted the video on YouTube. The next day, the school suspended her for two days. “What incensed me,” said Mr. Cohen, a music industry lawyer in Los Angeles, “was that these people were going to suspend my daughter for something that happened outside of school.” On behalf of his daughter, he sued. [...] Judge Wilson ruled in favor of the young videographer, because the disruption was only minimal: administrators dealt with the matter quietly and before lunch recess. [...] The district had to pay J. C.’s costs and lawyers’ fees: $107,150.80. (NYT)
It figures doesn't it? I mean the apple didn't fall all that far from the tree here. The daughter was a brat (which one might write off to poor parenting) and the father is an arrogant fuckhead who believes that online bullying is a personal right. One would think that winning the case would be enough and that once he got his money he would take video down. I mean what kind of person would leave up a demeaning message about a little girl the same age as his own daughter? Well this kind of guy:
The lesson Mr. Cohen hopes his daughter learns from the case is about the limits on governmental intrusion. “A girl came to school who was upset by something she saw on the Internet,” Mr. Cohen said in a telephone interview, “and these people had in their mind that they were going to do something about it. The school doesn’t have that kind of power. It’s up to the parents to discipline their child.” He did chastise his daughter, saying, “That wasn’t a nice thing to do.” He describes her video as “relentlessly juvenile,” but not an example of cyberbullying, which he said he did not condone. His daughter offered to remove it from YouTube. But Mr. Cohen keeps it posted, he said, “as a public service” so viewers can see “what kids get suspended for in Beverly Hills.”
"Wasn't a nice thing to do?" And that's disciplining your child for bullying someone? You just demonstrated the failure of your own statement about parental responsibility. I realize you're a lawyer and ruining people's lives is your business. I realize you work for the record industry which is known to have no morals whatsoever. I also realize that as a rich fucker you probably have very little whatsoever to do with your child's upbringing, but your actions are deplorable. Still, as you pointed out so blithely, this post is just "something on the internet" so I guess you can't get very upset about it after all.
Comment from: SK
Like parent, like daughter. Deplorable.
06/28/10 @ 13:51
Comment from: parent
Appalling. Any parent that didn’t have their head up their ass would be horrified by their daughter’s actions. Instead this soulless asshole is essentially applauding his daughter’s bullying and contributing to further bullying against the victim. I hope the bullied victim’s family sues this motherfucker blind.
06/28/10 @ 14:11
Comment from: Anne
Someone PLEASE post contact information for Mr. Cohen – I think Karma demads that he get to experience some “not nice things to do online” himself. Oh, and contact info for his employer, too. Wouldn’t it be nice if whoever pays him lost some business because of their terrible taste in attorneys? God held that poor child he’s raising. How can she grow into anything other than a useless bitch with a father like that? Reminds me of that mom who created the Facebook page that eventually led to that 13 year-old’s suicide. Some people should be sterilized at puberty.
06/28/10 @ 14:27
Comment from: joseph
firm image Cohen & Cohen 8340 Melrose Avenue Los Angeles, CA 90069-5420 Phone: *redacted by WoS* Fax: *redacted by WoS* Websites associated with this firm:http://www.cohenmusiclaw.com
06/28/10 @ 15:56
Comment from: mike
can anybody find that youtube video? so we can make one like it? except with 10 lawyers talkin” trash “bout Evan!
06/28/10 @ 16:07
Comment from:  
The Cohen’s were awarded over 100K in costs and legal fees? Gee, I wonder who represented the family? It’s convenient to sue when Daddy works in a nice law firm. Nice pay day and great way to show that bullying pays to your darling little daughter. Oh, and Mr. Cohen, if your darling’s little video stays, you deserve all the abuse that can be meted. Enjoy your hardy serving of disdain.
06/28/10 @ 18:51
Comment from: Mark
Well,I found another piece of the puzzle. Evan is the son of late music manager Herb Cohen, who had his share of fights over the years and Evan is married to writer Belissa Cohen. Herb Cohen, the tough, litigious manager and label operator who introduced such notables as the Mothers of Invention and Tom Waits during the ’60s and ’70s, died Tuesday of unknown causes in Napa, CA. He was 77. After beginning his professional career as an L.A. club booker and operator, Cohen branched into management in the mid-’60s. His biggest clients were Frank Zappa’s Mothers of Invention, the outrй band that became a top attraction in the Sunset Strip’s venues. After the Mothers released their initial albums on Verve, Cohen and Zappa established their own imprints, Straight, Bizarre and Discreet. The labels issued material by the Mothers and such off-the-wall, Zappa-produced L.A. acts as Captain Beefheart and His Magic Band, groupie unit the G.T.O.’s and itinerant songsmith Wild Man Fischer, as well as singer-songwriter Tim Buckley, hard rock unit Alice Cooper and comic Lenny Bruce. The partners’ association collapsed amid an exchange of lawsuits in 1976. Cohen also handled beat-styled singer-songwriter Waits, who secured a contract with David Geffen’s Asylum Records in 1972. Years later, Waits - whose long court docket matches Cohen’s own – sued Cohen over publishing issues and what he claimed was the unauthorized release of demos cut by his ex-manager. Last year, Cohen sued writer Barney Hoskyns for libel, claiming statements in his biography of Waits were false. Cohen’s survivors include his son, Beverly Hills entertainment attorney and label owner Evan Cohen; his daughter, former LA Weekly writer Belissa Cohen; and a granddaughter.
06/28/10 @ 21:46
Comment from: mm
I was very distressed to read the NY Times article and how Cohen reacted. He is utterly discusting and has no shame. As someone who was bullied as a kid I understand the pain that kids go through at the hands of others, and its parents like Cohen who create, mold and encourage so much of the behavior. I can’t help but feel enormous contempt for him, and pity for his daughter. I hope she somehow grows up realizing that he was wrong and that she can be so much better than he. Of course he’s a lawyer…
06/28/10 @ 21:57
Comment from: emase
fucking sick. there are wonderful lawyers in the world, who help others, and do good things. but then there’s scummy shitty pus bags like this. i winder if he’d like to represent roman polanski - “oh noez, exile is what happens to poor film directors who happen to rape drunk, drugged 13-year-olds in the ass! poor film directors!”
07/01/10 @ 17:45
Comment from: InvaderRik
Check out http://jezebel.com/5577513/parents-defend-12+year+olds-bullying-sue-school Found it on FARK. This fucker is defending himself in the comments.
07/02/10 @ 09:24
Comment from: Chuck
Trash..all i saw on this Video are a few kids that will go nowhere without daddy’s money. Spoiled Trailer trash.
07/02/10 @ 09:30
Comment from: Elliott
Sounds like a real jerk. It’s a shame that people like this exist.
07/02/10 @ 16:21
Comment from: annonymous
Here’s his address and phone number. 8340 Melrose Ave West Hollywood, CA 90069-5420 *redacted by WoS*
07/02/10 @ 16:34
Comment from:  
Hey anon. Read real careful and you’ll see that we removed his phone number last time. We’re all about calling people out on their stupidity, indecency and suckiness. But we do actually draw the line at advertising a persons phone number to harass them. If someone really feels the need to insult him personally, I’m sure they can do the same google search you did to get his number. k? Thx. Bye.
07/02/10 @ 18:48
Comment from: Anon
Apparenlty Cohen is now harassing people here too http://is.gd/dqjbe
07/13/10 @ 10:45
Comment from: Mark
I’m sorry but Cohen is absolutely correct in this matter. I’ll be the first to say he should have whipped his daughter until her ass was blue, but the school has no authority in this matter and deserved to be sued.
06/21/11 @ 19:06
Comment from:  
Sorry, Evan Cohen is a douche to sue and get a big payday over it. The school may have overstepped it’s authority, but you confront them on that point and that point alone and not expect big money - $100K is a nice payday for “defending” his daughters rights. Defending the constitution is about preserving our rights not about obscene amounts of money taken from taxpayer funded institutions. The only way I might consider Mr. Cohen less of a douche is if he donated that money to a charity for kids who are bullied.
06/22/11 @ 18:25
Comment from: Ben
Well done Mr Cohen. If it were a perfect world your critics would read the case and judgment and stick to the facts. Unfortunately there is very little or no critical thinking applied by your critics. You dealt with the facts ergo you won. There is nothing personal in that. Thank you for upholding the first amendment.
07/24/11 @ 02:40
Comment from:  
Ben, did you even read my last comment? Mr. Cohen got paid handsomely for “defending his rights", a bit too handsomely. The huge sum of money he received cheapens his “rights” in my book. I do not dispute his daughters rights, just his level of civility and how he is guiding his daughter into adult society. The school overstepped their authority, but Mr. Cohen is a crappy parent. He was so caught up in the fact the school did something that they should not have done, he forgot that teaching his daughter how to be a good person should be his priority. Also Ben, claiming that we all should “stick to the facts” implies that we do not have a right to have an opinion of Mr. Cohen. If you would deny me my opinion that Mr. Cohen is a douche who lacks moral character, it would abridge my 1st amendment rights. So Ben, sit on that fact and rotate.
07/24/11 @ 13:08
Comment from: Treadmill Traci
Lol! Those douchebags!
09/01/11 @ 12:36
Comment from: peter bihari  
having personaly dealt with evan before,this doesn’t surprise me-one bit. possibly a donation to a foundation that encourages right behavior and values in children would have been apropiate.
09/04/11 @ 20:52
Comment from: Munchie
Old story that I just read. Mark has his facts all wrong. Herb Cohen was Evan’s uncle. Mutt Cohen was Evan’s father. Belissa is his sister. Get your facts straight.
07/09/12 @ 18:02
Comment from:  
I’m sure “Mutt” appreciates your effort even years later…
07/09/12 @ 18:19
Comment from: Munchie
I’m sure he does. His son turned out exactly like him.
06/04/13 @ 21:37
Comment from: Johnnas  
Here’s his twitter: @evan_manifesto
02/20/15 @ 16:04