Category: "Ha ha ha ha Fuck you"

May/22
2017

Because guns solve EVERYTHING.

Ha. Not.

May 22 (UPI) -- A South African hunter was crushed to death by an elephant that was shot in western Zimbabwe, the nation's national wildlife authority said.

Theunis Botha "unknowingly got in the middle of a breeding herd of elephants with several calves" in the Gwayi conservancy Friday and was trampled to death, Zimparks acting spokesperson Simukai Nyasha said Sunday to News24.

The elephant was shot as she picked him up with her trunk, before she fell and died, crushing Botha, according to Netwerk 24.

Can you imagine someone walking into a group of mothers and babies and trying to hurt one of them? Doesn't matter the breed, genus or species, he's a fucking DEAD man. Not that there's any room in the world for Great White Hunters making money from killing endangered species. Certainly not in 2017. The fact that he was crushed by the elephant that was shot was also wonderfully poignant.

The days of Bwana-go-trophy-hunting are past. It's entertainment, if you can call it that, for the ignorant and mentally-challenged.

Well, at least they won't have to have him embalmed, now will they?

May/11
2017

WASHINGTON (AP) -- President Donald Trump is expected to sign an executive order on Thursday launching a commission to review alleged voter fraud and voter suppression in the U.S. election system, three White House officials said.

Distractions only work so well, so choose them carefully or they may just backfire on you. And your party.

May/11
2017

WASHINGTON (AP) -- President Donald Trump says his White House may be "combative." And he says it could be his fault.

Qu'elle Surprise.

May/07
2017

You know that moment when you realize that you can't argue with the other person because their fundamental premise is bogus? Well that's this moment right here...

Rep. Raul Labrador of Idaho drew sharp criticism and booing at a town hall Friday for his response to an attendee who expressed worry that the House bill would hurt Medicaid recipients.

The woman in Lewiston said: "You are mandating people on Medicaid to accept dying."

Labrador, who is a member of the conservative House Freedom Caucus, responded: "That line is so indefensible. Nobody dies because they don't have access to health care." (AP)

Yes that's right, in the GOP mindset EVERYONE has healthcare, mainly because it's something that those representatives never, ever had to do without. Thus the notion of people dying without healthcare is lost to them, they literally have no idea what it means at all.

But hey, they voted for him right? Caveat, motherfucking, Emptor folks, caveat fucking emptor. Next be more choosy with your vote maybe?

Apr/25
2017


U.S.-born workers have little interest at laboring in the dirt and the cold at the crack of dawn.
As 18 Guatemalans in hoodies and rubber boots toiled in such conditions recently in Oregon's Willamette Valley, their boss expressed admiration for their willingness to do the back-breaking work he said native-born Americans won't do.
"Homeless people are camped in the fir forest over there," the farmer said, pointing to a stand of trees. "And they're not looking for work." (AP)

While Dickhead Donald didn't "win" Oregon per se, he did garner a very large number of votes from that state. These are the people who could have thought through the potential impact of an "immigrant-free" policy on the agricultural industry in their state. But why think? I mean if it SOUNDS good it must be good right? And if thinking might open the door a crack to humanizing the source of all our problems, well, that just won't stand.

Until your business fails because you just don't have the labor. Or until you realize that the whole notion of kicking out immigrants as a solution to the unemployed is bogus.

a 2013 study by an economist at the Center for Global Development looked at farms in North Carolina and found that immigrant manual laborers had "almost zero" effect on the job prospects of native-born U.S. workers.
"It appears that almost all U.S. workers prefer almost any labor-market outcome - including long periods of unemployment - to carrying out manual harvest and planting labor," Michael Clemens wrote. (AP)

Yes that's right. Americans would much rather live under bridges or on a subway grate than actually do hard, manual labor. Maybe it's because we don't beat them enough? Take away their social services? Or charities that feed them on Thanksgiving and Xmas? Maybe we need to start imprisoning the homeless again, like we used to back in days of yore. Where going to the "poor house" was literally a thing. I mean if there ARE jobs to be hand and we eliminate people who are willing to do them then perhaps the answer is to FORCE unemployed Americans to work at gunpoint.

Sounds pretty stupid right? That is what happens when you start breaking down the whole anti-immigrant thing. But most tRump voters don't want to do that.

President Donald Trump's hard line against immigrants in the U.S. illegally has sent a chill through the nation's agricultural industry, which fears a crackdown will deprive it of the labor it needs to plant, grow and pick the crops that feed the country. (AP)

Yep what will happen then? Without workers who's going to farm? And without productive farms what will happen to the cost of produce? I guess if you believe in tRump you also believe god will provide. Well god doesn't provide for idiots who don't think...

Apr/19
2017

I'm Not Gloating

Yeah, like fuck I'm not.

Presenter Bill O'Reilly has been dropped from Fox News over sexual harassment claims, the company says. "After a thorough and careful review of the allegations... Bill O'Reilly will not be returning," the network said in a one-sentence statement. (BBC)

Notice how the category says "Ha ha ha ha Fuck You"? Well yes, that's right bitch. LATER FUCKTARD. Much, much later.

Apr/02
2017

The one in Massachusetts, of course.

CAMBRIDGE, Mass. (AP) -- The Massachusetts city of Cambridge is weighing whether to call for an impeachment investigation into President Donald Trump.
Vice Mayor Marc McGovern has filed a policy order for Monday's city council meeting pushing for an investigation.
McGovern said he believes the Republican president is still deeply involved in his business operations.

Regrettably this blog engine doesn't support a true smiley emoticon so you'll just have to roll with the classic :).

Cambridge, home of some of the smartest people on Earth. Not surprising really that they bazooka-vomit when forced to drink the Koolaid coming out of D.C..

Of COURSE DDT is still involved in his businesses, the law doesn't apply to him, right? He's President. That's what he's said on multiple occasions. The real question is, which will get him sooner? The fact that he's violating ton of laws domestically or the fact that he encouraged and was fully aware of Russian intervention in the last election? Dunno, but gosh, let's see shall we?

Mar/26
2017

Chaos is pretty simple, just let entropy do its thing. On the other hand order and structure, well, that's muuuuuch harder.

The Republican Party of "no" for Democrat Barack Obama's eight years is having a hard time getting to "yes" in the early Donald Trump era.
The unmitigated failure of the GOP bill to replace Obamacare underscored that Republicans are a party of upstart firebrands, old-guard conservatives and moderates in Democratic-leaning districts. Despite the GOP monopoly on Washington, they are pitted against one another and struggling for a way to govern. (AP)

The first thing a baby learns is to annoy its parents by dropping, throwing and grabbing shit at random. Baby doesn't know much, only that it gets them attention and it's EASY. Parents, on the other hand, need to teach baby rules, limits and self control so that their youngster can interact with society at large, not be a nuisance, and to deal with the hard work of learning and growing up.

The GOP is still pretty much in that "throwing shit" stage of growth. After so many years of screaming, crying, pitching a fit, refusing to cooperate and acting out for attention they have no idea how to function as a viable entity. Sure they're all GOP in name, sure they have the numbers to make the government function to their benefit... but there's the rub, they can't all agree what that benefit is.

The government, and conservatives in particular, have forgotten the utility and art of compromise. Now that they have the ability to steer the ship, twenty hands are all grabbing for the tiller and the ship is stuck with it's sails luffing, no destination in sight.

Well... that's not all bad now is it? A few years of going in circles may actually knock some sense into them (or their constituents) and maybe IF they can learn to cooperate with each other, and that's a big maybe, then maybe they can learn to cooperate with the others as well. Maybe...

Mar/22
2017

Remember that "guy" who said America doesn't need foreign workers, rah rah? Well turns out rah rah don't cut it in reality.

CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. (AP) -- As President Donald Trump touts job creation for Americans as a top priority, his son's Virginia winery is seeking permission to hire foreign workers to cultivate its grapes.

That's right the good ol' flag-waving, fist-pumping, made-right-here with American labor isn't. Not when it comes to menial fucking jobs like picking grapes. Oh sure it SOUNDS good, and it sure sounded good to the suckers that bought into the notion that the US could operate just fine without foreign labor. Until guess what, no one applies for the job.

"It's difficult to find people," said Libby Whitley, an attorney who has worked with employers, including Trump Winery, on labor issues.[..] Whitely said she assumed her company would be flooded with people applying for the jobs because of the media coverage of the winery's initial request.
"Guess how many applicants we had? ... 13," she said. "And they were all from places like the Philippines, Indonesia, Kenya, Nigeria. We did not have one American worker apply on (the first job order)."

Yeah, that's the ACTUAL reality. Sure American's want jobs... just not THOSE jobs. You know the hard ones, where you have to sweat your balls off in the sun planting, pruning and picking. That's what we need cheap foreigners for, those we want to keep on the other side of the wall.

Goddamn people are fucking stupid.

Mar/14
2017

I like this lady, but then again you knew I would.

AUSTIN, Texas (AP) -- A Texas lawmaker is making a point about legislation that restricts women's access to health care and abortions by proposing to fine men $100 when they masturbate.
Alongside the penalty for wasting semen not resulting in a pregnancy, state Rep. Jessica Farrar's bill would require a "medically unnecessary digital rectal exam" before any man undergoes a vasectomy or can be prescribed Viagra.
The 11th term Democrat tells the Houston Chronicle that her bill mimics how a woman seeking an abortion is forced by Texas law to undergo a transvaginal ultrasound, which "has nothing to do with her health care."
She says while some people think it's funny, her bill highlights the obstacles women face "that were placed there by legislatures making it very difficult for them to access health care."

Jessica Farrar I tip my wig to you. Well done.

Feb/28
2017

And Tacos For All

Now THIS is going above and beyond the call of duty... or just being sharp enough to know when to take advantage of a lousy situation.

EATTLE (AP) -- A taco truck that became stranded in a massive Seattle traffic jam came to the rescue of hungry drivers by opening up and serving lunch on the interstate.
A tanker truck carrying propane rolled over on Seattle's Interstate 5 on Monday morning, shutting area roads for about eight hours amid concerns about a hazardous materials spill.
While waiting in the jam, Rachel McQuade tells The Seattle Times (http://bit.ly/2ljsqUg ) she spotted someone walking back to her car with a to-go box of food. She says she then headed over to the Tacos El Tajin truck herself and ordered two steak and two chicken tacos for her husband.
El Tajin owner Thomas Lopez tells the newspaper that he and his employees "are ready to serve food, everywhere."

In a world filled with suck, hate and depression these guys are a ray of light.

Oh and also a fine, fat, FUCK YOU to one tRumptard Marco Gutierrez, who, you might recall, warned that if Dickhead Donald didn't save us from immigrants then there'd be a "taco truck on every corner." Seems to me that the evil "taco truck" saved a lot of hungry, white american's butts.

Feb/25
2017

I love watching the "not going to affect me" excuse getting raped again and again.

The officers blocked the exits on Delta Flight 1583 just after it landed at John F. Kennedy Airport in New York City, inspecting every passenger's documentation before allowing them to deplane.
The agency said it was working with U.S. Customs and Immigration Enforcement to locate an individual whose name they had, but not a picture. (UPI)

Mmmhmm. Wonder if there were any tRump voters on that plane. In fact I wish EVERY person on that plane, eager to get off after a half-day flight, was a tRump voter. One that said "nope, voting for this maniac won't affect me."

But hey, this is coming soon to an airport near you!

Feb/24
2017

On Thursday, the former Democratic Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords weighed in, after Texas representative Louie Gohmert cited her shooting at a 2011 outdoor political meeting as a reason for not appearing in person. Ms Giffords tweeted: "To the politicians who have abandoned their civic obligations, I say this: Have some courage. Face your constituents. Hold town halls. "I was shot on a Saturday morning. By Monday morning my offices were open to the public." (BBC)

Gabrielle Giffords, with more courage and more balls than a Texas rep.

Feb/24
2017

Women around the nation are standing up and taking the threat of a misogynistic, asshole president (and his misogynistic, asshole staff) seriously. For some men it's too much that women might DARE to throw the shit right back at them. Tiny men, with very tiny balls apparently. It's great when they self-identify by crying about how offended they are in public.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- A Texas Republican said Thursday he was deeply disturbed by explicit signs at the Women's March on Washington last month while acknowledging that President Donald Trump's vulgar and sexually predatory comments about women triggered the display.[..] "There was a taint to that march that just cut me to the core," [Rep. Mike] Conaway said at an Agriculture Department event. "Women carrying signs and wearing costumes in the foulest, nastiest, crudest, crassest manner possible, talking about female body parts."

Awww did those nasty women scare widdle you Mikey? Shouting slogans and waving signs about how the GOVERNMENT SHOULD STAY THE FUCK OUT OF WOMEN'S BODIES? How about that eh? Don't you support free speech? Don't you support personal privacy? Don't you support smaller government? Just because you don't have a uterus and can't get pregnant (actually science is working on fixing that, the embryo can apparently attach to the large intestine but I digress) means that you couldn't GIVE a flying fuck about what a forced pregnancy does to a woman, her life and her future because it's all about the babies (who, when born, you couldn't give a fuck about again.)

Yep, because America is both religious and moral. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That's so hard to say with a straight face with a total douchetard as a president. And you know, I'm not alone in my fury, there are tons of men and women around this nation who are freely expressing the anger and hate that was once reserved for the hard right. Yes, all the shit that was slung at Obama and the "libtards" is now being slung right back with a fury that is taking conservatives by surprise. GUESS WHAT FUCKERS, YOU DIDN'T INVENT HATE, YOU JUST SHOWED THE REST OF US HOW EFFECTIVE IT IS.

MINNEAPOLIS (AP) -- So many women showed up at a Minneapolis tattoo parlor for a permanent reminder of female solidarity that it had to turn away some latecomers.
Local women Chelsea Brink, Nora McInerny and Kate O'Reilly organized a fundraiser in which people could get a tattoo of the words "Nevertheless, she persisted," for $75, Minnesota Public Radio reported (http://bit.ly/2mboEBm ). Proceeds will go toward Women Winning, a group dedicated to boosting representation of pro-choice women at all levels of political office.[..]
Their tattoos reference a phrase that Republican Sen. Mitch McConnell said about Sen. Elizabeth Warren, who was formally silenced on the Senate floor earlier this month for reading a letter by Coretta Scott King. The words became a rallying cry for Warren's supporters and women's rights proponents.

Oh it's so unfeminine to stand up and act like a MAN, so horrible for the "embrace-all" liberals to go from defense to attack, so unfair that the same rhetoric that was used against the prior administration is now being used in force against the new one.

Shoe's on the other foot bitches... and guess what, those stilettos can take out an eye if you don't duck in time.

Feb/16
2017

You'd think that the Ruskies would know a pompous dick-tater when they met one. On the other hand... maybe they did.

It was almost as if a US presidential candidate, and subsequently a new US president, had become the golden boy of Russian politics. In January he even received more mentions in the Russian media than President Vladimir Putin.[..]
On Friday, Russia's most popular tabloid, Komsomolskaya Pravda, accused President Trump of making "contradictory" statements about Nato.
The paper points out: "(During the election campaign) Trump had called the Alliance obsolete and useless. Less than two months have passed since he moved into the Oval Office and he's already expressed full support for Nato.
"As the saying goes, you need to be drunk to understand the true position of America's president." (BBC)

Well the Ruskies won the first round, they helped elect a total imbecile to the highest possible office. But they certainly figured out quickly that trust isn't a word in Dickhead Donald's limited vocabulary. What's more entertaining is watching those who actually THOUGHT DD might support them because they supported him. Uh..... newp.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Though Donald Trump fashions himself a loyal boss, his inner circle has been steadily shrinking - revealing Trump's willingness to cast aside some of his most devoted advisers.

Yeah, DD treats people like toilet paper, one wipe and he's done with them. Loyalty to him only goes in one direction. But what do you expect from a certified psychopath.

So back to the Ruskies, I'm sure they're laughing their ass off. They managed to eliminate the qualified candidate who MIGHT have actually impeded their progress and feed the moronic-voting-masses a complete and total failure. AND get a full makeover in the process. Really the GOP loving the Red-threat? Yes, really. They're our buddies because DD says so.

At least for now.

Feb/11
2017

And she's got her claws out.

Rumours that comedian Rosie O'Donnell is due to play White House chief strategist Steve Bannon on this weekend's episode of Saturday Night Live have sent social media into overdrive.
Currently experiencing its highest ratings in 22 years, what's behind SNL's resurgence in popularity?
[..] But as celebrity, politics and modern living changed over the years, so too have the targets of SNL's jokes. With the arrival of Donald Trump's White House administration, SNL has been gifted a comedy cash-cow. (BBC)

Yes there's a silver lining to the tRumpsterfuck we're currently in: it's a never ending cavalcade of fresh material for the comediennes. Between the Borg-lookalike, cunt-faced, cow Conway to the grand poobah, cheeto-faced and dick-brained Donald himself it's a gift that just keeps giving and giving and giving. Spats and fights, crying and tantrums it's a black humor reservoir at of the purest cut.

Of course the fact that tRumpy finds it offensive and continues to express himself in 36-word outrages that end with "bad", "terrible" and "bad" (because that's about as creative as he gets) who can resist? Especially when we need all the humor we can get.

So Rosie, my dear, sic' em honey, because the ratings speak for themselves. If there is one thing that Dickhead Donald has done it's make SNL great again. Score!

Feb/05
2017

Apparently we're bad and we should feel bad. And also love Putin.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- President Donald Trump said he respects Vladimir Putin, and when an interviewer called the Russian leader "a killer," Trump said the United States has many of them.
"What do you think? Our country's so innocent?" he told Fox's Bill O'Reilly in an excerpt released by the network. The president's interview was to air Sunday afternoon on the Super Bowl pregame show.

Do you smell the patriotism burning there? I do. Truthfully I get it, Putin helped tRump win the election AND probably has some nifty dirt on Dickhead Donald as well. Trump stands by people who helped him, regardless of ethics, impact and better judgement. The best part is seeing the flag-mongering, ultra-patriots who backed him try and swallow this. Yes, Putin's a thug, a killer and a war-hungry megalomaniac. But hey, we're besties now so it's cool right?

Heh. So awesome.