Category: "Ha ha ha ha Fuck you"

Mar/26
2017

Chaos is pretty simple, just let entropy do its thing. On the other hand order and structure, well, that's muuuuuch harder.

The Republican Party of "no" for Democrat Barack Obama's eight years is having a hard time getting to "yes" in the early Donald Trump era.

The unmitigated failure of the GOP bill to replace Obamacare underscored that Republicans are a party of upstart firebrands, old-guard conservatives and moderates in Democratic-leaning districts. Despite the GOP monopoly on Washington, they are pitted against one another and struggling for a way to govern. (AP)

The first thing a baby learns is to annoy its parents by dropping, throwing and grabbing shit at random. Baby doesn't know much, only that it gets them attention and it's EASY. Parents, on the other hand, need to teach baby rules, limits and self control so that their youngster can interact with society at large, not be a nuisance, and to deal with the hard work of learning and growing up.

The GOP is still pretty much in that "throwing shit" stage of growth. After so many years of screaming, crying, pitching a fit, refusing to cooperate and acting out for attention they have no idea how to function as a viable entity. Sure they're all GOP in name, sure they have the numbers to make the government function to their benefit... but there's the rub, they can't all agree what that benefit is.

The government, and conservatives in particular, have forgotten the utility and art of compromise. Now that they have the ability to steer the ship, twenty hands are all grabbing for the tiller and the ship is stuck with it's sails luffing, no destination in sight.

Well... that's not all bad now is it? A few years of going in circles may actually knock some sense into them (or their constituents) and maybe IF they can learn to cooperate with each other, and that's a big maybe, then maybe they can learn to cooperate with the others as well. Maybe...

Mar/22
2017

Remember that "guy" who said America doesn't need foreign workers, rah rah? Well turns out rah rah don't cut it in reality.

CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. (AP) -- As President Donald Trump touts job creation for Americans as a top priority, his son's Virginia winery is seeking permission to hire foreign workers to cultivate its grapes.

That's right the good ol' flag-waving, fist-pumping, made-right-here with American labor isn't. Not when it comes to menial fucking jobs like picking grapes. Oh sure it SOUNDS good, and it sure sounded good to the suckers that bought into the notion that the US could operate just fine without foreign labor. Until guess what, no one applies for the job.

"It's difficult to find people," said Libby Whitley, an attorney who has worked with employers, including Trump Winery, on labor issues.[..] Whitely said she assumed her company would be flooded with people applying for the jobs because of the media coverage of the winery's initial request.

"Guess how many applicants we had? ... 13," she said. "And they were all from places like the Philippines, Indonesia, Kenya, Nigeria. We did not have one American worker apply on (the first job order)."

Yeah, that's the ACTUAL reality. Sure American's want jobs... just not THOSE jobs. You know the hard ones, where you have to sweat your balls off in the sun planting, pruning and picking. That's what we need cheap foreigners for, those we want to keep on the other side of the wall.

Goddamn people are fucking stupid.

Mar/14
2017

I like this lady, but then again you knew I would.

AUSTIN, Texas (AP) -- A Texas lawmaker is making a point about legislation that restricts women's access to health care and abortions by proposing to fine men $100 when they masturbate.
Alongside the penalty for wasting semen not resulting in a pregnancy, state Rep. Jessica Farrar's bill would require a "medically unnecessary digital rectal exam" before any man undergoes a vasectomy or can be prescribed Viagra.

The 11th term Democrat tells the Houston Chronicle that her bill mimics how a woman seeking an abortion is forced by Texas law to undergo a transvaginal ultrasound, which "has nothing to do with her health care."

She says while some people think it's funny, her bill highlights the obstacles women face "that were placed there by legislatures making it very difficult for them to access health care."

Jessica Farrar I tip my wig to you. Well done.

Feb/28
2017

And Tacos For All

Now THIS is going above and beyond the call of duty... or just being sharp enough to know when to take advantage of a lousy situation.

EATTLE (AP) -- A taco truck that became stranded in a massive Seattle traffic jam came to the rescue of hungry drivers by opening up and serving lunch on the interstate.
A tanker truck carrying propane rolled over on Seattle's Interstate 5 on Monday morning, shutting area roads for about eight hours amid concerns about a hazardous materials spill.

While waiting in the jam, Rachel McQuade tells The Seattle Times (http://bit.ly/2ljsqUg ) she spotted someone walking back to her car with a to-go box of food. She says she then headed over to the Tacos El Tajin truck herself and ordered two steak and two chicken tacos for her husband.

El Tajin owner Thomas Lopez tells the newspaper that he and his employees "are ready to serve food, everywhere."

In a world filled with suck, hate and depression these guys are a ray of light.

Oh and also a fine, fat, FUCK YOU to one tRumptard Marco Gutierrez, who, you might recall, warned that if Dickhead Donald didn't save us from immigrants then there'd be a "taco truck on every corner." Seems to me that the evil "taco truck" saved a lot of hungry, white american's butts.

Feb/25
2017

I love watching the "not going to affect me" excuse getting raped again and again.

The officers blocked the exits on Delta Flight 1583 just after it landed at John F. Kennedy Airport in New York City, inspecting every passenger's documentation before allowing them to deplane.

The agency said it was working with U.S. Customs and Immigration Enforcement to locate an individual whose name they had, but not a picture. (UPI)

Mmmhmm. Wonder if there were any tRump voters on that plane. In fact I wish EVERY person on that plane, eager to get off after a half-day flight, was a tRump voter. One that said "nope, voting for this maniac won't affect me."

But hey, this is coming soon to an airport near you!

Feb/24
2017

On Thursday, the former Democratic Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords weighed in, after Texas representative Louie Gohmert cited her shooting at a 2011 outdoor political meeting as a reason for not appearing in person.
Ms Giffords tweeted: "To the politicians who have abandoned their civic obligations, I say this: Have some courage. Face your constituents. Hold town halls.
"I was shot on a Saturday morning. By Monday morning my offices were open to the public." (BBC)

Gabrielle Giffords, with more courage and more balls than a Texas rep.

Feb/24
2017

Women around the nation are standing up and taking the threat of a misogynistic, asshole president (and his misogynistic, asshole staff) seriously. For some men it's too much that women might DARE to throw the shit right back at them. Tiny men, with very tiny balls apparently. It's great when they self-identify by crying about how offended they are in public.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- A Texas Republican said Thursday he was deeply disturbed by explicit signs at the Women's March on Washington last month while acknowledging that President Donald Trump's vulgar and sexually predatory comments about women triggered the display.[..] "There was a taint to that march that just cut me to the core," [Rep. Mike] Conaway said at an Agriculture Department event. "Women carrying signs and wearing costumes in the foulest, nastiest, crudest, crassest manner possible, talking about female body parts."

Awww did those nasty women scare widdle you Mikey? Shouting slogans and waving signs about how the GOVERNMENT SHOULD STAY THE FUCK OUT OF WOMEN'S BODIES? How about that eh? Don't you support free speech? Don't you support personal privacy? Don't you support smaller government? Just because you don't have a uterus and can't get pregnant (actually science is working on fixing that, the embryo can apparently attach to the large intestine but I digress) means that you couldn't GIVE a flying fuck about what a forced pregnancy does to a woman, her life and her future because it's all about the babies (who, when born, you couldn't give a fuck about again.)

Yep, because America is both religious and moral. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That's so hard to say with a straight face with a total douchetard as a president. And you know, I'm not alone in my fury, there are tons of men and women around this nation who are freely expressing the anger and hate that was once reserved for the hard right. Yes, all the shit that was slung at Obama and the "libtards" is now being slung right back with a fury that is taking conservatives by surprise. GUESS WHAT FUCKERS, YOU DIDN'T INVENT HATE, YOU JUST SHOWED THE REST OF US HOW EFFECTIVE IT IS.

MINNEAPOLIS (AP) -- So many women showed up at a Minneapolis tattoo parlor for a permanent reminder of female solidarity that it had to turn away some latecomers.
Local women Chelsea Brink, Nora McInerny and Kate O'Reilly organized a fundraiser in which people could get a tattoo of the words "Nevertheless, she persisted," for $75, Minnesota Public Radio reported (http://bit.ly/2mboEBm ). Proceeds will go toward Women Winning, a group dedicated to boosting representation of pro-choice women at all levels of political office.[..]
Their tattoos reference a phrase that Republican Sen. Mitch McConnell said about Sen. Elizabeth Warren, who was formally silenced on the Senate floor earlier this month for reading a letter by Coretta Scott King. The words became a rallying cry for Warren's supporters and women's rights proponents.

Oh it's so unfeminine to stand up and act like a MAN, so horrible for the "embrace-all" liberals to go from defense to attack, so unfair that the same rhetoric that was used against the prior administration is now being used in force against the new one.

Shoe's on the other foot bitches... and guess what, those stilettos can take out an eye if you don't duck in time.

Feb/16
2017

You'd think that the Ruskies would know a pompous dick-tater when they met one. On the other hand... maybe they did.

It was almost as if a US presidential candidate, and subsequently a new US president, had become the golden boy of Russian politics. In January he even received more mentions in the Russian media than President Vladimir Putin.[..]
On Friday, Russia's most popular tabloid, Komsomolskaya Pravda, accused President Trump of making "contradictory" statements about Nato.

The paper points out: "(During the election campaign) Trump had called the Alliance obsolete and useless. Less than two months have passed since he moved into the Oval Office and he's already expressed full support for Nato.

"As the saying goes, you need to be drunk to understand the true position of America's president." (BBC)

Well the Ruskies won the first round, they helped elect a total imbecile to the highest possible office. But they certainly figured out quickly that trust isn't a word in Dickhead Donald's limited vocabulary. What's more entertaining is watching those who actually THOUGHT DD might support them because they supported him. Uh..... newp.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Though Donald Trump fashions himself a loyal boss, his inner circle has been steadily shrinking - revealing Trump's willingness to cast aside some of his most devoted advisers.

Yeah, DD treats people like toilet paper, one wipe and he's done with them. Loyalty to him only goes in one direction. But what do you expect from a certified psychopath.

So back to the Ruskies, I'm sure they're laughing their ass off. They managed to eliminate the qualified candidate who MIGHT have actually impeded their progress and feed the moronic-voting-masses a complete and total failure. AND get a full makeover in the process. Really the GOP loving the Red-threat? Yes, really. They're our buddies because DD says so.

At least for now.

Feb/11
2017

And she's got her claws out.

Rumours that comedian Rosie O'Donnell is due to play White House chief strategist Steve Bannon on this weekend's episode of Saturday Night Live have sent social media into overdrive.
Currently experiencing its highest ratings in 22 years, what's behind SNL's resurgence in popularity?
[..]
But as celebrity, politics and modern living changed over the years, so too have the targets of SNL's jokes. With the arrival of Donald Trump's White House administration, SNL has been gifted a comedy cash-cow. (BBC)

Yes there's a silver lining to the tRumpsterfuck we're currently in: it's a never ending cavalcade of fresh material for the comediennes. Between the Borg-lookalike, cunt-faced, cow Conway to the grand poobah, cheeto-faced and dick-brained Donald himself it's a gift that just keeps giving and giving and giving. Spats and fights, crying and tantrums it's a black humor reservoir at of the purest cut.

Of course the fact that tRumpy finds it offensive and continues to express himself in 36-word outrages that end with "bad", "terrible" and "bad" (because that's about as creative as he gets) who can resist? Especially when we need all the humor we can get.

So Rosie, my dear, sic' em honey, because the ratings speak for themselves. If there is one thing that Dickhead Donald has done it's make SNL great again. Score!

Feb/05
2017

Apparently we're bad and we should feel bad. And also love Putin.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- President Donald Trump said he respects Vladimir Putin, and when an interviewer called the Russian leader "a killer," Trump said the United States has many of them.

"What do you think? Our country's so innocent?" he told Fox's Bill O'Reilly in an excerpt released by the network. The president's interview was to air Sunday afternoon on the Super Bowl pregame show.

Do you smell the patriotism burning there? I do. Truthfully I get it, Putin helped tRump win the election AND probably has some nifty dirt on Dickhead Donald as well. Trump stands by people who helped him, regardless of ethics, impact and better judgement. The best part is seeing the flag-mongering, ultra-patriots who backed him try and swallow this. Yes, Putin's a thug, a killer and a war-hungry megalomaniac. But hey, we're besties now so it's cool right?

Heh. So awesome.

Feb/01
2017

Sally told Trump to go fuck himself. That makes me both happy and proud. Look, A WOMAN telling Dickhead Donald where to put it. She's my hero.

Donald Trump has fired the acting US attorney general after she questioned the legality of his immigration ban.
Sally Yates, who was appointed by Barack Obama, ordered justice department lawyers not to enforce the president's executive order.
A White House statement accused Ms Yates of "betraying" the justice department and being "weak on borders". (BBC)

Sorry, but WHICH borders do we have going through our airports? Yeah, that would be none fucktard. Yes it's more stupid-as-usual from this "administration" where the tRumpsterfuck shoots his mouth off, tells no-one (because "Surprise!") and then guess what? Shit goes wrong. From students, to researchers, translators to teachers, even green card holders were caught in the ensuing multi-agency thrash-fest. No one knew because, quite simply, NO ONE HAD THOUGHT IT THROUGH. Certainly not Der Dickhead. After all it's not his job to think. He's an "I'm not paid to read, I'm paid to lead" kinda guy. Thinking shit through is for his peons. Even if they're not a) quality or b) familiar they do give a snappy salute which IS pretty impressive when you have a dick stuck in your mouth (albeit a small one).

Now, of course, Der Donald wants to sack the attorneys general of the individual states because THEY'RE starting to defy the stupid as well. So much for smaller government and less intervention. No worries though, because he's got a plan, can't tell you want it is, but it's there, really it is. Just like the Emperor's new clothes.

Jan/25
2017

The GOP are trying to imitate Der Donald's success on social media, the whole "fuck political correctness." Too bad they can't do it right.

Another post by newly elected Indiana state Sen. Jack Sandlin, also a Republican, credited Donald Trump with getting "more fat women out walking than (former First Lady) Michelle Obama did in 8 years."

Sandlin, who says he didn't knowingly make the since-deleted post, was inundated with criticism on his Facebook page and has apologized. He says the incident was a powerful lesson on the "unintended consequences" of opening up "your social media to try to get it out as broadly as you can." (AP)

Yaaaas, you show us how it's done Jack ol' boy. Way to fucking fuck that the fuck up. I'm sure all the "fat women out walking" at the LARGEST PROTEST IN US HISTORY will think that's as funny as you did. TOO BAD THEY CAN STILL VOTE EH? Stupid dickhead. Yeah you "didn't knowingly" post that. Awesome, did you come up with that excuse on your own? Maybe you should have had a FAT LADY help you with it. Maybe she could have sung it to you...

Jan/16
2017

You know that moment where you "win" the argument because the other person walks away in disgust? It doesn't take long for the warm glow of dominance to fade away leaving you with the uneasy feeling of pondering what comes next. It's kinda like peeing in bed, sure it feels good for the first second but then you're left in a cold, stinking mess of pee and a soggy mattress.

Kind of like the situation America is in today.

The number of Democratic members of Congress saying they will boycott Donald Trump's inauguration on Friday has increased to 26.

Many have cited as a reason the president-elect's recent attack on civil rights icon and fellow congressman John Lewis. (BBC)

The up-and-coming Dickhead-in-Chief can't govern. That's pretty clear. But the burden of WHY he can't govern isn't his, because he was, is and continues to be the same lying, shitbag, misogynist, greedbag, self-aggrandizing asshole he always was. No one can complain that tRump isn't the same before and after "winning". What they CAN complain about is the fact that they totally and completely misjudged their OWN expectations.

False expectation 1: tRump will become presidential material after he's elected, meaning he'll stop tweeting insults and threats around the clock to everyone he perceives has slighted him.

False expectation 2: tRump will improve wages and jobs for Americans, because that's exactly how he's improved the lives of those who have worked for him all along.

False expectation 3: after the election tRump will try and repair the damage done to everyone, including those in the party he adopted, and not dance around like a brat screaming "I won you lost".

See he never even GAVE the hint of wanting to do those things, but time and again I heard from his supporters "oh that's just election rhetoric, you'll see, he'll be great, we have to trust him." Trust being a key word for "I hope to fuck he changes because it can't go on like this forever, please?"

Delusional motherfuckers you were. Just delusional. tRump is just as much of a fucktard now as he ever was. The only thing that MAY have changed is perhaps the fact that the world is NOT the same, life will NOT go on and relationships WILL be irrevocably damaged because of YOUR CHOICE. Yes, dear tRump voter, you're the one to blame for every bit of endless screaming and whining you hear on TV, every upset foreign government, every respected individual be they actress, politician, or ordinary person who is incensed and infuriated at the blind faith you placed in a future where everyone just "learned to get along."

You. I blame you. The real question is, who do you blame?

Jan/11
2017

Yep, this is the kind of person who supported Trump: "Man celebrating vote to repeal Obamacare learns he is on Obamacare"

Yes babies, ACA and "Obamacare" are the same thing.

So you know, if there's one guy stupid enough out there there's probably a whole "hidden majority" of morons who want to eliminate social services that they themselves depend on. Like say Medicaid, Medicare and Foodstamps.

SUCKS TO BE YOU BITCHES. DON'T GET SICK. DON'T GET HUNGRY. DON'T GET OLD.

heh.

Jan/06
2017

It tastes pretty damn yummy to the next Prez...

President-elect Donald J. Trump appears to side with the WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange over United States intelligence agencies, with Vice President-elect Mike Pence backing him up.

So, my little Trumpettes, how's it feel to see your adored prez sucking some scraggly Aussie dick huh? Yes the fucking PRESIDENT OF THE US ADMITS HIS ADMIRATION FOR ASSANGE. Yes he do.

Of course we all know that, up until a tight election was technically (non popularly) won by a total fucking tool, Assmange was an enemy of the US. Someone who solicits and publishes sensitive materials, endangering MANY people, not just Americans, working abroad.

But hey, he's got the GOP stamp of approval now, so if you support your leader you'd best fall in line bitches!

Heh. This is humerious. What next? A gold statue of Putin in the Oval Office salon? Probably, and just in time for his visit too!

Jan/05
2017

You'd think the dead horse would stay dead, but no, idiot parents STILL haven't gotten the message. Omg, omg omg NUT ALLERGIES! MAH PRECIOUS BABEEEEE! Fucking retards.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- New parents, get ready to feed your babies peanut-containing foods - starting young lowers their chances of becoming allergic.

The National Institutes of Health issued new guidelines Thursday saying most babies should regularly eat those foods starting around 6 months of age, some as early as 4 months. It's a major shift in dietary advice for a country fearful of one of the most dangerous food allergies.

Exposing people to allergens a little at a time has been known for-fucking-ever. But when it comes to parents dictating to schools and providers what their brat can and can't be exposed to, this MAY at least provide some sanity.

Of course the bigger problem is the fucked up anti-vaxxers but one thing at a time.

It's not expected that schools will suddenly decide to tell food-freak parents to learn to deal, nor will the type of parent (I use the term loosely) who is bound to freak out about every little thing their delicate flower comes into contact with listen to reason. In their minds THEY know, evidence and science aside, and the world needs to support THEM or they will whine, cry and waste valuable time of their peers until they get their way.

Of course, giving those asshole-types a big mouthful of peanut butter might help with those symptoms, but certainly won't be a cure. Last I checked stupid has no cure.

Dec/29
2016

It's charming when people insist on cleaving to their ideas even when all signs, literal, physical, painted-on-their-glasses, size of "HOLLYWOOD", point otherwise. Of course it takes not just brains but humility to admit when you've been had.

But people would rather die than admit that. Deep inside though, they know, and that only makes it worse.

I could go through a litany of the usual cliches on guns, on women, on abortion, on immigrants but there's no point really. The last election did everyone, me in particular, a very big favor because it brought to light the hate, bigotry and misogyny that was secretly harbored.

There were no half-measures, no half-positions. Either you were THEM or US, plain, simple and divided. The days of compromise are dead, and we have been complicit in that demise, in this we are truly all in agreement.

As I have mentioned before, there is a certain liberating feeling in adopting the "lowest common denominator", after all it's far easier just to punch someone in the head than construct a logical argument. Further, why even try? Most people have formulated an answer even before you speak, that is IF they even give you the change and IF they're willing to listen. But sadly that's not the case and logic has no place in most people's lives, only scientists, judges, doctors and lawyers have that role and they are loathed for it, even if they're the ones who have to save the lives of idiots at the end of the day.

So yes, cling to your rhetoric, I'm sure it will keep you warm at night and safe behind your wall.