Category: "Ha ha ha ha Fuck you"

Feb/16
2017

You'd think that the Ruskies would know a pompous dick-tater when they met one. On the other hand... maybe they did.

It was almost as if a US presidential candidate, and subsequently a new US president, had become the golden boy of Russian politics. In January he even received more mentions in the Russian media than President Vladimir Putin.[..]
On Friday, Russia's most popular tabloid, Komsomolskaya Pravda, accused President Trump of making "contradictory" statements about Nato.

The paper points out: "(During the election campaign) Trump had called the Alliance obsolete and useless. Less than two months have passed since he moved into the Oval Office and he's already expressed full support for Nato.

"As the saying goes, you need to be drunk to understand the true position of America's president." (BBC)

Well the Ruskies won the first round, they helped elect a total imbecile to the highest possible office. But they certainly figured out quickly that trust isn't a word in Dickhead Donald's limited vocabulary. What's more entertaining is watching those who actually THOUGHT DD might support them because they supported him. Uh..... newp.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Though Donald Trump fashions himself a loyal boss, his inner circle has been steadily shrinking - revealing Trump's willingness to cast aside some of his most devoted advisers.

Yeah, DD treats people like toilet paper, one wipe and he's done with them. Loyalty to him only goes in one direction. But what do you expect from a certified psychopath.

So back to the Ruskies, I'm sure they're laughing their ass off. They managed to eliminate the qualified candidate who MIGHT have actually impeded their progress and feed the moronic-voting-masses a complete and total failure. AND get a full makeover in the process. Really the GOP loving the Red-threat? Yes, really. They're our buddies because DD says so.

At least for now.

Feb/11
2017

And she's got her claws out.

Rumours that comedian Rosie O'Donnell is due to play White House chief strategist Steve Bannon on this weekend's episode of Saturday Night Live have sent social media into overdrive.
Currently experiencing its highest ratings in 22 years, what's behind SNL's resurgence in popularity?
[..]
But as celebrity, politics and modern living changed over the years, so too have the targets of SNL's jokes. With the arrival of Donald Trump's White House administration, SNL has been gifted a comedy cash-cow. (BBC)

Yes there's a silver lining to the tRumpsterfuck we're currently in: it's a never ending cavalcade of fresh material for the comediennes. Between the Borg-lookalike, cunt-faced, cow Conway to the grand poobah, cheeto-faced and dick-brained Donald himself it's a gift that just keeps giving and giving and giving. Spats and fights, crying and tantrums it's a black humor reservoir at of the purest cut.

Of course the fact that tRumpy finds it offensive and continues to express himself in 36-word outrages that end with "bad", "terrible" and "bad" (because that's about as creative as he gets) who can resist? Especially when we need all the humor we can get.

So Rosie, my dear, sic' em honey, because the ratings speak for themselves. If there is one thing that Dickhead Donald has done it's make SNL great again. Score!

Feb/05
2017

Apparently we're bad and we should feel bad. And also love Putin.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- President Donald Trump said he respects Vladimir Putin, and when an interviewer called the Russian leader "a killer," Trump said the United States has many of them.

"What do you think? Our country's so innocent?" he told Fox's Bill O'Reilly in an excerpt released by the network. The president's interview was to air Sunday afternoon on the Super Bowl pregame show.

Do you smell the patriotism burning there? I do. Truthfully I get it, Putin helped tRump win the election AND probably has some nifty dirt on Dickhead Donald as well. Trump stands by people who helped him, regardless of ethics, impact and better judgement. The best part is seeing the flag-mongering, ultra-patriots who backed him try and swallow this. Yes, Putin's a thug, a killer and a war-hungry megalomaniac. But hey, we're besties now so it's cool right?

Heh. So awesome.

Feb/01
2017

Sally told Trump to go fuck himself. That makes me both happy and proud. Look, A WOMAN telling Dickhead Donald where to put it. She's my hero.

Donald Trump has fired the acting US attorney general after she questioned the legality of his immigration ban.
Sally Yates, who was appointed by Barack Obama, ordered justice department lawyers not to enforce the president's executive order.
A White House statement accused Ms Yates of "betraying" the justice department and being "weak on borders". (BBC)

Sorry, but WHICH borders do we have going through our airports? Yeah, that would be none fucktard. Yes it's more stupid-as-usual from this "administration" where the tRumpsterfuck shoots his mouth off, tells no-one (because "Surprise!") and then guess what? Shit goes wrong. From students, to researchers, translators to teachers, even green card holders were caught in the ensuing multi-agency thrash-fest. No one knew because, quite simply, NO ONE HAD THOUGHT IT THROUGH. Certainly not Der Dickhead. After all it's not his job to think. He's an "I'm not paid to read, I'm paid to lead" kinda guy. Thinking shit through is for his peons. Even if they're not a) quality or b) familiar they do give a snappy salute which IS pretty impressive when you have a dick stuck in your mouth (albeit a small one).

Now, of course, Der Donald wants to sack the attorneys general of the individual states because THEY'RE starting to defy the stupid as well. So much for smaller government and less intervention. No worries though, because he's got a plan, can't tell you want it is, but it's there, really it is. Just like the Emperor's new clothes.

Jan/25
2017

The GOP are trying to imitate Der Donald's success on social media, the whole "fuck political correctness." Too bad they can't do it right.

Another post by newly elected Indiana state Sen. Jack Sandlin, also a Republican, credited Donald Trump with getting "more fat women out walking than (former First Lady) Michelle Obama did in 8 years."

Sandlin, who says he didn't knowingly make the since-deleted post, was inundated with criticism on his Facebook page and has apologized. He says the incident was a powerful lesson on the "unintended consequences" of opening up "your social media to try to get it out as broadly as you can." (AP)

Yaaaas, you show us how it's done Jack ol' boy. Way to fucking fuck that the fuck up. I'm sure all the "fat women out walking" at the LARGEST PROTEST IN US HISTORY will think that's as funny as you did. TOO BAD THEY CAN STILL VOTE EH? Stupid dickhead. Yeah you "didn't knowingly" post that. Awesome, did you come up with that excuse on your own? Maybe you should have had a FAT LADY help you with it. Maybe she could have sung it to you...

Jan/16
2017

You know that moment where you "win" the argument because the other person walks away in disgust? It doesn't take long for the warm glow of dominance to fade away leaving you with the uneasy feeling of pondering what comes next. It's kinda like peeing in bed, sure it feels good for the first second but then you're left in a cold, stinking mess of pee and a soggy mattress.

Kind of like the situation America is in today.

The number of Democratic members of Congress saying they will boycott Donald Trump's inauguration on Friday has increased to 26.

Many have cited as a reason the president-elect's recent attack on civil rights icon and fellow congressman John Lewis. (BBC)

The up-and-coming Dickhead-in-Chief can't govern. That's pretty clear. But the burden of WHY he can't govern isn't his, because he was, is and continues to be the same lying, shitbag, misogynist, greedbag, self-aggrandizing asshole he always was. No one can complain that tRump isn't the same before and after "winning". What they CAN complain about is the fact that they totally and completely misjudged their OWN expectations.

False expectation 1: tRump will become presidential material after he's elected, meaning he'll stop tweeting insults and threats around the clock to everyone he perceives has slighted him.

False expectation 2: tRump will improve wages and jobs for Americans, because that's exactly how he's improved the lives of those who have worked for him all along.

False expectation 3: after the election tRump will try and repair the damage done to everyone, including those in the party he adopted, and not dance around like a brat screaming "I won you lost".

See he never even GAVE the hint of wanting to do those things, but time and again I heard from his supporters "oh that's just election rhetoric, you'll see, he'll be great, we have to trust him." Trust being a key word for "I hope to fuck he changes because it can't go on like this forever, please?"

Delusional motherfuckers you were. Just delusional. tRump is just as much of a fucktard now as he ever was. The only thing that MAY have changed is perhaps the fact that the world is NOT the same, life will NOT go on and relationships WILL be irrevocably damaged because of YOUR CHOICE. Yes, dear tRump voter, you're the one to blame for every bit of endless screaming and whining you hear on TV, every upset foreign government, every respected individual be they actress, politician, or ordinary person who is incensed and infuriated at the blind faith you placed in a future where everyone just "learned to get along."

You. I blame you. The real question is, who do you blame?

Jan/11
2017

Yep, this is the kind of person who supported Trump: "Man celebrating vote to repeal Obamacare learns he is on Obamacare"

Yes babies, ACA and "Obamacare" are the same thing.

So you know, if there's one guy stupid enough out there there's probably a whole "hidden majority" of morons who want to eliminate social services that they themselves depend on. Like say Medicaid, Medicare and Foodstamps.

SUCKS TO BE YOU BITCHES. DON'T GET SICK. DON'T GET HUNGRY. DON'T GET OLD.

heh.

Jan/06
2017

It tastes pretty damn yummy to the next Prez...

President-elect Donald J. Trump appears to side with the WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange over United States intelligence agencies, with Vice President-elect Mike Pence backing him up.

So, my little Trumpettes, how's it feel to see your adored prez sucking some scraggly Aussie dick huh? Yes the fucking PRESIDENT OF THE US ADMITS HIS ADMIRATION FOR ASSANGE. Yes he do.

Of course we all know that, up until a tight election was technically (non popularly) won by a total fucking tool, Assmange was an enemy of the US. Someone who solicits and publishes sensitive materials, endangering MANY people, not just Americans, working abroad.

But hey, he's got the GOP stamp of approval now, so if you support your leader you'd best fall in line bitches!

Heh. This is humerious. What next? A gold statue of Putin in the Oval Office salon? Probably, and just in time for his visit too!

Jan/05
2017

You'd think the dead horse would stay dead, but no, idiot parents STILL haven't gotten the message. Omg, omg omg NUT ALLERGIES! MAH PRECIOUS BABEEEEE! Fucking retards.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- New parents, get ready to feed your babies peanut-containing foods - starting young lowers their chances of becoming allergic.

The National Institutes of Health issued new guidelines Thursday saying most babies should regularly eat those foods starting around 6 months of age, some as early as 4 months. It's a major shift in dietary advice for a country fearful of one of the most dangerous food allergies.

Exposing people to allergens a little at a time has been known for-fucking-ever. But when it comes to parents dictating to schools and providers what their brat can and can't be exposed to, this MAY at least provide some sanity.

Of course the bigger problem is the fucked up anti-vaxxers but one thing at a time.

It's not expected that schools will suddenly decide to tell food-freak parents to learn to deal, nor will the type of parent (I use the term loosely) who is bound to freak out about every little thing their delicate flower comes into contact with listen to reason. In their minds THEY know, evidence and science aside, and the world needs to support THEM or they will whine, cry and waste valuable time of their peers until they get their way.

Of course, giving those asshole-types a big mouthful of peanut butter might help with those symptoms, but certainly won't be a cure. Last I checked stupid has no cure.

Dec/29
2016

It's charming when people insist on cleaving to their ideas even when all signs, literal, physical, painted-on-their-glasses, size of "HOLLYWOOD", point otherwise. Of course it takes not just brains but humility to admit when you've been had.

But people would rather die than admit that. Deep inside though, they know, and that only makes it worse.

I could go through a litany of the usual cliches on guns, on women, on abortion, on immigrants but there's no point really. The last election did everyone, me in particular, a very big favor because it brought to light the hate, bigotry and misogyny that was secretly harbored.

There were no half-measures, no half-positions. Either you were THEM or US, plain, simple and divided. The days of compromise are dead, and we have been complicit in that demise, in this we are truly all in agreement.

As I have mentioned before, there is a certain liberating feeling in adopting the "lowest common denominator", after all it's far easier just to punch someone in the head than construct a logical argument. Further, why even try? Most people have formulated an answer even before you speak, that is IF they even give you the change and IF they're willing to listen. But sadly that's not the case and logic has no place in most people's lives, only scientists, judges, doctors and lawyers have that role and they are loathed for it, even if they're the ones who have to save the lives of idiots at the end of the day.

So yes, cling to your rhetoric, I'm sure it will keep you warm at night and safe behind your wall.

Nov/19
2016

Buying In

So, Ladies and Germs, let's look behind Curtain A, let's read the packing list, examine the fine print because it appears that many people just bought without checking the details. When you voted for tRump what exactly did you agree to? (This is like one of those "contract with the Devil" or "Rent to own" things where you're so caught up with the excitement of getting something NEW that you didn't quite do the diligence that was required, no worries though, because I'm here to help.)

Item 1: Intolerance - by voting for der tRumpmeister you affirmed that you hate immigrants and non-whites to the point where you'd threaten their family and their lives

Item 2: Misogyny - women should know their places, they should NOT be news anchors, they should NOT complain when they are mistreated by rich men, they should NOT aspire to an equal wage, they should NOT be allowed to make their own medical decisions

Item 3: Greed - wealth wins, more than laws, more than honesty. Being rich means you really can do whatever you want and flaunt it.

Item 4: Lies - did you know that tRump voters retweeted "news" from certified fake sources? Yes really: "My sites were picked up by Trump supporters all the time. I think Trump is in the White House because of me. His followers don't fact-check anything -- they'll post everything, believe anything. His campaign manager posted my story about a protester getting paid $3,500 as fact. Like, I made that up." (Paul Horner)

Item 5: Selfishness - unless you're an Eskimo or a Native American someone in your family tree came here, unless you're a Rockefeller or Kennedy chances are someone in your family needed financial help from the government. Why should that stop for everyone else just because YOU don't need it any more?

Item 6: Ignorance - making shit up is NOT the same as looking shit up, but you've affired that the facts don't matter to you one bit, in fact it's preferred.

Congratulations! But wait there's more! And you won't know all the deets until four years from now, so good luck with that!

Nov/18
2016

There's something special about bullshit, it makes both the target and the shit-slinger smell like poo.

Unless of course, it's election time and the voters are not too discriminating. In which case the person slinging the shit can come out smelling like roses while object of derision is buried in slander encircled by an angry mob with torches and pitchforks. The problem here is that mob mentality is NOT what you want to elect a government, you want people who will stop, think and decide for themselves whether the slander is true or not. Ideally.

Clearly that's not the case here. Here we had bread and circuses that appealed to the "I, Me, Mine" voters with such effectiveness that even typical selfish schmucks got off their asses to vote. No, that's not hyperbole it's the truth. In this case a successful business-owner who had never once voted, actually got off her ass to go vote for Trump. Why? Because this cunt had never, ever paid taxes on her business and the idea that a total shitbag who was proud of cooking the books could be president eliminated her guilt (and gave her hope that maybe she too would never get caught cheating.)

The thing is, dear shitbags, that if you think your choices won't come to haunt you, that it will be life as usual, nothing will change day to day, well you're wrong. You see things HAVE ALREADY CHANGED. The world has divided into two groups: those who see themselves as all that matters and those who see our society and everyone in it as all that matters. Further, those who have voted for tRump and who choose to bandy this about (and most do, either because they want assuage their guilt or attack someone else) also choose to brand themselves with a scarlet "T".

Your vote, your choice, it's true, but it's also your consequences as well. Because once you're out of the closet (as it were) there's no going back and the people around you then get to choose also.

So yeah, not my problem? Oh no, you're sadly misinformed because it is your problem, because your life (and everyone else's) has changed. And not for the better.

Nov/13
2016

I never forget. It's a thing, maybe remarkable in some ways. Some people say "time heals all wounds" and maybe that's true for them, but it's not for me. The people that I hated in high school I still hate today. Friends that betrayed me, I still avoid. For whatever reason I don't have the "forgive and forget" capacity and perhaps more importantly, I don't feel the need for it. In a nutshell, if you piss me off you'd best believe that I will stay that way. I will be civil, if the circumstances demand such, for example people at work who have wronged me. But don't think for a second that such civility means that I won't be looking for an opportunity to give you that slight nudge down a flight of stairs.

In total honestly I also believe that everyone else in the world ALSO will treat me the same, so why the fuck would I be naive enough to give someone an opportunity to hurt me? In the same vein, why the fuck would I overlook an opportunity to get even?

So word up folks, those of you that voted for Trump and, while we're at it, America in general, I will use my skills and abilities to make your lives "better". By better, I mean more transparent. To our government. If I had a way to enforce TSA rectal scans for every air traveller, I certainly would. If I can find a way to eliminate the notion of "personal privacy" I will. Anything you want to hide? I want to make sure our government finds it.

Yes, it's the dawning of a new era of hell. And by all the gods I'm going to help it along in every way I can.

Nov/09
2016

First off, there's going to be some changes here. But fuck you, you don't need to know what they are. You'll find out when I'm ready to share them.

Second, I'd like to share this warm and wonderful message with everyone who voted for Der Trumpher. Ahem.

I hate you all.

Ha, ha, such a kidder.

Actually no. Not kidding. Not kidding at all. In fact let me break that down one more level for you:

To all the women who voted for Trump (pardon, let me start that over) To all the cunts that voted from Trump I have this message: Don't you fucking dare complain when you get passed over for promotion, demand an equal wage or get knocked up by rape, daddy or some molester. You bitches are getting what you deserve.

To all the spics that voted for Trump: GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE US. Clocks ticking wet backs, don't let the barbed wire jab you in the ass.

To all the niggers that voted for Trump: Don't get shot! Just kidding, no one cares, go ahead and get shot. It's open season now.

To all the white men who voted for Trump: Don't be whining about paying taxes because you're NOT PRESIDENT TRUMP. Pay up fools, you bought the product and now you're gonna pay.

Yes I meant it when I said that I hate you all. But don't complain, because your great leader taught me that hate wins. Not that it matters because you can't complain ANYWAY.

Gave a great day!

Oct/31
2016

So I'm minding my own business, not doing much just toodling around online and "bring-a-ding-a-ling" but my OS has a new message for me. My! What can it be?

"Microsoft Edge is faster than Chrome, for reals!"

C'mon Microsoft, is this really what you're resorting to? Spamming your captive audience with bullshit advertisements to make them gag on even more of your dick-ware? So here's my answer for you: "No. No, no, no a thousand times no. Also... no."

I like Chrome, and just because you have my money for my OS does NOT mean you get it for every fucking other thing as well. So suck off assholes. I mean it.

Oct/18
2016

But not for Julian! Ok, well actually it sucks for him, but not for us.

Wikileaks says that Ecuador has shut down internet access for its founder Julian Assange.[..]

Wikileaks has recently been releasing emails from Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign.
Eleven revelations from Clinton emails

The anti-secrecy organisation did not return calls and emails on Monday, though it said in a tweet: "We have activated the appropriate contingency plans." (BBC)

While ordinarily I feel for people who are experiencing an outage, I'm having a really hard time feeling bad for Assmange. If his organization is going to fuck with US politics then fuck him. He's no better than the russian hackers who are providing him the content. I hope he liked the taste of Trump's dick, because that's all the satisfaction he's going to get, no matter who wins.

Contingency plans? I'll bet. Someone cue to tune to "Catch that Pigeon" because I'm figuring that's all the contingency he's going to get. That plus a reallly expensive mobile data plan.

Oct/12
2016

An lo, those that embraced hate, intolerance, abuse and egotism were all struck down with "tiny penis" afflictions. Well, that's how it should be but since it's not a thing I'll settle for this...

BOSTON (AP) -- A new state law that prohibits discrimination against transgender people in public restrooms is "punishing" the protected religious speech of churches and pastors, a conservative Christian organization claims in a federal lawsuit filed Tuesday.[..]

Alliance Defending Freedom, based in Scottsdale, Arizona, said it sued on behalf of four Massachusetts churches to protect their right to operate their facilities "in a manner that doesn't violate their core religious beliefs."

I like how conservative fundie fucktards from Arizona are taking their gripes to Massachusetts. Really, if those churches were all that upset couldn't they have sued on their own? There's a saying "assholes don't shit on the floor in their own house, they find someone else's to shit in" (Ok I made that up, but the point is the same.) So instead of raising a ruckus in Arizona, they have to come to a liberal state where they're bound to lose because upsetting the locals is one thing close to home and quite another when it's miles away.

Basically these churches will face a backlash but the people funding it won't suffer a thing. Because they're fucking cowards.

So here it is, if Massachusetts decides these are the laws of the state, and if churches get benefits from being classified as public spaces then the churches can either reclassify themselves as private clubs OR they can adhere to the laws of the state. Or they can move, of course. Additionally, since the laws in Massachusetts say that people are allowed to use the bathroom of the gender they identify with, religion doesn't enter into the equation. Sure it's tough titties for people who subscribe to religions that antiquated values of preach intolerance but hey, there are other states with better aligned rules so they should move if they don't like it.

Bottom line, if you're an intolerant asshole in Massachusetts you're going to have a hard time getting along, church or no church. If the people in the state say they want to embrace all types, that's their prerogative. The only ones being punished in a liberal state are the assholes who are too stupid to realize that their hate isn't welcome there.