Category: "Musings of the Deranged"

Feb/03
2017

Arnold would have my vote.

On Friday, Trump said in his tweet, "Yes, Arnold Schwarzenegger did a really bad job as Governor of California and even worse on the Apprentice ... but at least he tried hard!"
Schwarzenegger responded quickly to Thursday's remarks in a video on his verified Twitter account, suggesting that he and Trump switch jobs. (AP)

So really this is how he tries to make his own show a success by pissing on the person he picked to replace him? Why the fuck... No. There IS no why. There just IS.

We all know that he sure as shit can't match Arnold's past as a body builder and successful actor. For the record Arnold WAS reelected as Governor. Let's see if Dickhead Donald can match at least that eh?

Nov/07
2016

So I've been avoiding the news. It was hard at first. My initial "time to fuck off" moments lead me to auto-clicking on my favorite news sources: AP, BBC and UPI (in that order). But I've been good and even after I caught myself clicking in a semi-daze I immediately closed the window, most times before it even opened. That made me feel good.

So I've been drying out from my news-junkie habits. It hasn't been a bad thing. I've found alternative points to focus on. Like just how much crud has accumulated in my keyboard and how annoying I find genuine, work-related email. Turns out the distraction of the news was a good thing. Reading about the crises of others made me far more tolerant to the day to day grind of my life.

Of course the possibility exists that I might just be a complete asshole, but I'm thinking that I'm not alone here. At least at the threshold of intolerance I use to achieve "asshole" status.

Anyway, as the title says, I'm I'm a roll here. I don't want to comment on the news, but the only way to achieve that is not to read the news at all. And since I'm pretty sure that can't last forever there will be a point where I fall off the wagon and start screaming about the various idiocies of my fellow earth denizens.

Until then, however, enjoy your drivel. Toodles!

Oct/30
2016

So tail lights. I have a thing about examining them, trying to (in some cases) imagine what the designer had in mind. Some are easy, the new Jeep Renegade has this adorable square-button with a little cross-stitched "X" in the middle. Reminds one of a Raggedy Ann doll, really. Probably not what the artist had conceived, but hey, cute (as a button) nonetheless.

Then there's what I call the drawer-pull tail light. Looks like the handle on cupboard with all the kitchen utensils. Simple, plain, nothing to write home about. Boring is not the same as succinct, but hey, we can't all be graphic artists now can we?

The coaster. Square with a round ring or just plain round. Actually I could have stopped at just plain. Rings can be interesting sometimes, when they overlap, but mostly these are just plopped on top of each other like the blobs of a snowman.

The blob. These check the box where the designer was told "we need tail lights, they go in the corners." And yes, yes they did. That's about all they did.

For a while Volvo was putting their tail lights on their wagons up so high they'd blend with the traffic lights. It was different, sure, and attention grabbing, but I notice that the lights have migrated back south. I guess the cold weather didn't really suit them after all.

Dental tools. This is what is being sported on the rear of the 2016 Toyota Prius. Gigantic, covered in blood, dental tools. I'll say it caught my attention, but I won't say it did it in a good way. Brrrrrrr.

Animated tail lights. I think it's the mustangs that have these. They blink in sequence when used for signalling a direction. Very Knight Rider. If you get that reference then you're way too old and probably need help chewing your food. You probably also think that getting into a car like that would involve medical assistance. You're probably right.

Paperclips, horseshoes and fishhooks. My but we've come a long way since the introduction of the LED. Some designers are actually doing creative things to highlight the lines of the car (well Toyota tried but they never examined the result). I applaud this. It's a good thing, getting away from the coasters and blobs. It also probably means that replacing said devices when the asshole behind you forgets to brake costs a crapload, but hey, it's all for the sake of modern something-something right?

Tail lights. Thanks for reading, bet you won't look at them the same any more...

Sep/24
2016

What I really want is a total media blackout on certain topics.

Super Saturation Topic 1: North Korea

There's nothing to report here. The regime is evil. Kim Jong Fuck is a gluttonous, murderous pig. They use nukes and missiles whenever they want attention. The brainwashed population is being starved, worked and arbitrarily tortured. It's been this way for decades, there is nothing new to report.

Super Saturation Topic 2: Arab Israeli Conflict

Bombings, knifings, shootings, bulldozings, economic deprivation, starvation, apartheid, kidnappings, torture. Done. There that's all to know, that's all there ever is to know. We don't need to hear it.

Super Saturation Topic 3: African Conflicts

They're killing each other, people are displaced, starving, dying. Warlords are rich and richer. No one cares about the civilians.

There are also smaller, mostly domestic, topics that I would like to see either eliminated or just reduced to a once-a-month digest summary: abortion, gun violence, priests and politicians having sex with the wrong people, political polls and opinions.

For all these endless topics it seems as if there are no solutions. I think perhaps if we take some of the spotlight away, reduce volume so that people become less apathetic and regain a sense of attachment for the actual cost in human lives and suffering it would help lessen the tolerance for this bullshit. And maybe something real would actually happen.

Maybe.

Sep/23
2016

Mainly because I'm just relaxed and don't care. Take that how you will.

1. Voting. Not doing that right now.
2. Larping. Probably never actually.
3. Going to a Trump rally. See #2 above.
4. Watching anything by Disney, because "nauseating".
5. TV. I just don't do TV.
6. P90X. Why? Not sure.
7. Hating on Snowden. But check back in about 10 seconds.
8. Drinking whiskey because I'm not all that keen about the taste of hardwood. Yeah yeah shut up.
9. Arguing. But see #7 again.
10. Shopping at Fuckmart. File that under "never" also.

Thank you and have a good night.

Sep/13
2016

Warning Signs

How to know when a discussion is going south; when it starts with "It's like the difference between Weather and Climate."

My advice? Run. And don't look back.

Aug/21
2016

I always get the feeling, as I load my groceries onto the conveyor, that the person ringing and the person bagging are evaluating my choices and making a decision about what kind of person I am. Cat food? Pet lover. Fresh veggies? Healthy eater. Frozen schlock? Junk food junkie. And so on. Once in a while I'll catch the person ringing giving an item a quick look over. In a few instances I've had questions like "is this brand good?" or "how do you cook this?" In other instances I've had advice "Orion makes the best Choco-pies, the rest are meh."

It's not to say that it bothers me, evaluating people is an innate (and important) defensive mechanism with humans. It probably dates back to a time when knowing who was in your tribe and who wasn't could save your life. Of course seeing steak and Cheetos versus asparagus and Special-K probably doesn't impact a young grocery attendance health and welfare, but still it does say something about the check-ee.

I think what you eat and what you buy to eat can say a lot about someone. And, of course, there's no accounting for taste but I enjoy watching people, and since there's not much to do while your items are being scanned and bagged, I too like to check out those checking me out and wonder a little about what they buy.

Aug/18
2016

This just goes to show that even when things are bad, they're not ALL bad.

Over the past year, as Brazil plunged into its deepest recession in decades, the city's homeless population has struggled. In June, facing a financial calamity, Rio's state government had to close or cutback service at 16 meal centers. The splurge on the Olympics has only heightened a sense of abandonment among the homeless, with many reporting being repeatedly removed by police from the city's recently cleaned-up Lapa district, where Bottura's restaurant is located.[..]

Sunday's meal was prepared by chef Rafael Costa e Silva, who normally dishes up fixed-price meals for $150 a head at his swank Lasai bistro in Rio. While he makes a living catering to the rich, he said he'll never forget the experience of serving the poor. (AP)

Massimo Bottura had an idea: take all the leftovers from the Olympics during the day and serve them nightly to the homeless. But he took that idea one step further, he serves it in the same manner, with the same care as he would to a paying customer, with dignity and sophistication.

Massimo Bottura, you are amazing. Thank you for your generosity and thank you for caring. I sincerely hope more people in Rio, and around the world, learn from your example - that a little effort can go a long way, that leftover is not waste if it fills a belly, and that everyone deserves a little kindness.

Aug/14
2016

Perhaps my question arises from my recent travel aborad, but when I went to the Smithsonian Air and Space extension and saw the Enola Gay on display I couldn't help but wonder if it was truly an appropriate thing for a mostly young audience.

Nothing can take back the events of history and removing an emblem of World War II won't change the role it played. But, in a museum dedicated to the glorification of man's accomplishments, to show the Enola Gay instead of some other B-29 Superfortress only tells part of the story. THAT plane is famous, not because of the design or technical achievements of the aircraft but because the US dropped one of the only two atomic bombs every dropped from it. In my mind, taking a smiling picture of junior in front of the shiny plane, without explaining to the youngster WHY this plane is famous is a disservice. If you're going to recognize the plane then do so, and in doing so acknowledge that we take no pride in the resulting horror and distruction it caused.

Again, I have nothing against having the plane in a museum, but I'd rather see it in a war museum that fully addresses the horrors of war and dispassionately and accurately, not with a McDonalds sign in the background. I'm absolutely certain that the Japanese tourists happily snapping away their holiday memories might have a different reaction if they knew what that aircraft represented, and I can't help but wonder if the Smithsonian is trying to gloss over one of the most devastating events in the history of our planet.

Aug/11
2016

Lettuce Bomb

I'm not sure which was smaller, the space I was occupying on the plane or the container of "salad". It was pretty tiny, it fit easily into the palm of your hand. Barely a nibble, but hey it was paid for and I was hungry. I decided to eat it anyway, even in the total absence of dressing provided.

It took a bit of work, probably more calories than I was going to get from the greens, to get it open, peeling away the sticker that held it closed, prying open the top. But when I did that it was a veritable fucking volcano of cellulose and chlorophyll. Suddenly I had about 3 times the lettuce volume and no damn place to contain it any more. So I started grazing as quickly as I could.

I guess that's why they didn't bother providing any dressing? Mainly because 1) you couldn't have possibly put it anywhere and 2) you didn't have the time...

Aug/01
2016

1. The performers are mic'ed up. Generally in real operas the performers rely on the acoustics and their ability, which typically doesn't include Janet Jackson style mics.

2. Costume changes on stage, into sequinned flapper-style mini skirts. Well, I mean it would have been hard to do the kickline in anything else, true, but most Operas don't feature the Can-can.

3. Humping. On stage. Even in jest.

4. A lack of a visible orchestra. Sure there might have been one squirreled away behind the scenes, but then how do you direct the singers?

5. A piece about perverted mice laughing at humans having sex, complete with mouse masks which reverse to say "Ha! Ha!" as part of the number.

Jul/16
2016

Yes. No.

Yes...

* If you're black and legally carry a gun you're more likely to be shot by police
* If you're a woman you're going to make less, on average, than a guy doing the same job
* If you're asian people are going to think you're better at math than your peers
* If you're a white guy in a pickup truck most people are going to think you're a redneck
* If you're pregnant everyone thinks you're public property, including the most private areas of your body
* If you're anyone (including RBG) you're going to know that Trump doesn't have opinions, he just says whatever comes to mind at the time which makes him a big faker
* If you're rich you're gonna get richer at the expense of everyone else and you probably don't care

But...

None of this is ok, and should never be ok. These are things that need to be fought. And if you agree with that but you're ok with the status quo then you're part of the problem. Injustice isn't just something you read about in the news, it's real life and you can make a difference by expressing yourself. I'd much rather have people disagree with me than say nothing at all.

The world sucks, but we can make it suck less. A little at a time.

Jul/01
2016

So I'm playing The Witcher 3, Wild Hunt, and I can't help but feeling perplexed by his horse. This chestnut with a typical working animal build: stocky in the legs, white socks, white blaze, and a sassy attitude (balks at declines of less than 45%, inclines of greater than 45%, won't jump unless pushed to and can sometimes perform ballet unexpectedly when on a very small bridge or tree stump.)

But the thing that perplexes me the most is HOW the damn horse appears. See, you often travel to remote islands, mountains, into caves and yet... with just a whistle Roach (as the horse is named) just appears like magic. Literally. Now I've tried to spin around as I call for Roach to see from WHERE said pony was appearing but the best I can figure is that the horse is either made of trees or stone, because inevitably my equine companion emerges from the brush, surf, treeline or rock wall without my actually SEEING it emerge.

So I think the horse is made of wood, rocks or perhaps just ether. Which is pretty impressive since it acts just like a regular horse when you ride it. Whinny included.

I mean I get it. You need to get around this huge world. You need to spend more time fighting than walking. But the horse is still funny after you take a mysterious boat ride to an unknown island, crash in splinters on the shore and then *poof* insta-horse. I guess it beats a magical bicycle, but it still strikes me as kinda funny. Also I still feel bad riding the horse in the rain, but that's my problem.

May/17
2016

I recommended using Dreamweaver to a friend who needed to throw together some nested tables in HTML. Yeah, it's like using a sledge hammer to open pistachios but it DOES get the job done with ease.

Until it crashes and locks on you and you can't start it back up without some registry magicks.

Anyway, in his quest for a solution (viva la powers of Google) he came across some of the best comments hidden away in a murky corner of the net. And so I present to you the best comments of dreamweaver-crashes-and-wont-open-again-how-to-fix-it. Take it away my HTML based blog!

Comments...
Kwitko
It's not a bug, it's an undocumented feature to keep coders from writing bad CSS.

UPSLynx
Or, you know, you could just not use Dreamweaver and use a real API like Visual Studio.

Thrax
Or you could know that Visual Studio isn't an API.

ardichoke
Real developers use vim and their brains

_k
I thought real developers used notepad and a cmd box.

QuadWhore
I got ninja'd by K. Real developers use notepad. I used notepad for 8 years.

:nerdtroll:
vim nothing. Use the original vi or GTFO. Also, Emacs is for babies.

Sledgehammer70
Sounds like a few people go owned... Nice read tho

jared
Yeah you really need to ditch Dreamweaver.
If you like the IDE feel and are on OSX, you can try WebStorm otherwise stick to Textmate ^_^

UPSLynx
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
I MEANT IDE. Not API.
Though you could technically say Visual Studio - API for .net apps.

GHoosdum
Notepad++ is my IDE. It hasn't corrupted a CSS file yet. ;)

ardichoke
With IDEs like this who needs enemies?

Thank you! Thank you! Try the soy-veal! I'm here all lightyear!

May/10
2016

And lo... it was given.

So after going to PAX East I received a survey which came from an anonymous source but was clearly sent by Intel (I feel for the poor person who had to type in all those email addresses.)

Anyway they wanted to know what I liked about PAX, why I went, am I a builder. Based on my responses the survey went on to ask what type of Intel CPUs I liked and what I might consider buying in the future. It also asked me if I would recommend Intel to others. When I answered "maybe" it asked what Intel would need to do to make me recommend them.

This was my answer...

Hard to say, people generally feel really strongly about AMD vs. Intel. People who buy Intel generally like that it's pretty plug and play and is supported by most major brands (Windows, NVidia, etc.). People who buy AMD generally feel like they're getting more for their money. Intel people (that I know) don't overclock. AMD people (that I know) overclock. It's like NVidia vs. ATi, just a difference. Most people aren't on the fence about these things UNLESS Tom's Hardware declares a clear price/performance winner.

I like Intel, don't get me wrong, and most of the time I go for them for the reasons stated above. But if AMD knocks one out of the park in terms of performance and price, I sure as shit ain't gonna turn that down.

So yeah, color me Intel, but not 100%. As for convincing others? I tell them to go to Tom's Hardware and do the research themselves. I don't want to be blamed if they aren't happy with their choice.

Apr/09
2016

Ghost Flush

I like to know who is in the bathroom with me. I don't mean know as in "know them personally" but rather if I'm alone or not. It's just a thing I guess, which I don't ascribe to paranoia so much as just general situational awareness.

So it bothers me a lot when automatic toilets just flush, mysteriously, on their own.

Case in point: I was working on a Sunday and went into the bathroom which was dimly lit. It wasn't outright pitch, just a minimum of lights were on, which is just fine and makes sense to me. Typically there's no one around on weekends so why waste the power? Of course that doesn't make it less creepy.

So there I am, doing my biz and KER-FLUSH! Uh what? I peek down, yep, there's not a foot in sight so obviously, unless they're either a spirit with a bladder or they can hover there's no one there. Ok, no problem and then a moment later KER-FLUSH! again. Eh? I use this bathroom all the time, I don't recall this mad-flushing defect.

I'm going to write it off to something being wrong with the sensor in low light, but it certainly was weird and somewhat disturbing. Although I will say, better more flushes than less I guess?

Mar/07
2016

Super Dad

Seriously this guy is pretty awesome.

BRADENTON, Fla., March 7 (UPI) -- A fast-acting father at a Pirates spring training game in Florida reached out his arm just in time to deflect a flying baseball bat headed for his son's face.

Shaun Cunningham said he took his 8-year-old son to Saturday's spring training game between the Pittsburgh Pirates and Atlanta Braves in Bradenton and the boy was distracted by a photo he had just snapped when a bat flew out of Pirates outfielder Danny Ortiz's hands and into stands.

Whatta dad, and also what a guy. I'd say his whole family is pretty lucky, and also props to his paternal instinct and reflexes. He deserves a new hammock and a beer this fathers day. In Barbados.

Nice job Shaun, you da man.