Category: "Assholes On Parade"


Pinhead: tRump Jr

Hey Junior, you're embarrassing your NATION.

LONDON (AP) -- Donald Trump Jr. is facing criticism for a tweet sent in the hours after Wednesday's London attack that included a months-old comment from London Mayor Sadiq Khan that terror attacks are part of living in a big city, but left out that Khan was noting that residents need to "be prepared" for such attacks.

So a month later you take a tweet out of context to attack London's mayor because HE'S NOT WHITE AND THAT OFFENDS YOU. You little turd, howabout you learn what your dad can't like WHEN TO KEEP YOUR FUCKING CAKEHOLE SHUT, you little shitbag.


When he doesn't want to face the actual WORK of being president what does he do? Go back to campaigning. Maybe that way the grass will stay greener...

NASHVILLE, Tenn. (AP) -- President Donald Trump is returning to the road, rallying supporters to recapture the enthusiasm of his campaign and reassuring them about his tumultuous early days in the White House.[..] In Trump's rally telling, things in Washington are going great. He's been cracking down on illegal immigration, is "way ahead of schedule" on his southern border wall and is on the verge of passing a new health care plan that "does so much for you."

Dickhead has a really hard time with actually sitting down and doing the work and who can blame him? Work is HARD. It means THINKING. It means REASONING. These are things that Dickhead doesn't want to do because they're not fun. Worse! People have been cracking down on his fun all over the place (how dare they.) Dickhead tweets whatever he wants whenever he wants, and it's all true because he's PRESIDENT. Anything the president says is automatically true and anything he does is automatically legal, but no, stupid people insist on CHECKING facts, on demanding PROOF. How rude! Don't they respect that he's president?

So to escape all the stress and "work" (read: showing off to foreign dignitaries) he's back on the road, pressing the flesh and stomping around on stage because even without bread, circuses are a GREAT way to keep the masses entertained.

Until, you know, they can't be entertained any more.

NEW RINGGOLD, Pa. (AP) -- Among the groups hardest hit by the Republican plan to replace the Affordable Care Act is one that swung for Donald Trump during last year's presidential race - older Americans who have not yet reached Medicare age.[..] Health care experts predict those older adults will end up buying skimpier plans with lower coverage and higher deductibles because that's all they will be able to afford.

Yes, those days of grandstanding to screaming masses have gotten a little more strained. It's one thing to have someone else to blame for the problems but now the buck stops with him. And Dickhead has to find a way to keep the cult happy, even when they're the ones who will be taking the fall.

Good luck Nero, keep on fiddlin'.


Go on guess! Who am I talking about? You have absolutely NO idea right?

There are "no indications" that Trump Tower was under surveillance by the US government before or after the election, a Senate committee has said.

The statement from Republican Senator Richard Burr, Senate Intelligence Committee chairman, dismissed Donald Trump's claim his phones were tapped.(BBC)

That little white lie by the sitting president just cost the american taxpayers well over several million dollars. Because he can't come to terms with the idea that there's ACCOUNTABILITY now, completely incapable, a man who is used to getting and saying whatever he wants. It used to be some lackey's job to clean up after, to quietly hide the mess or make the impossible come true. That lackey is now the GOP.

And that lackey has just said: "no".


Because i'm pretty sure that between the lot of them this administration has one, maybe two whole ones.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- The new chief of the Environmental Protection Agency [Scott Pruitt] said Thursday he does not believe that carbon dioxide is a primary contributor to global warming, a statement at odds with mainstream scientific consensus and his own agency.

Like that? When quizzed before his confirmation he said he believed (suddenly) that global warming was a thing, and now... well, maybe but it's certainly got nothing to do with the big money that industry pours into this administration. No, not cars, not factories, not burning coal, really the globe is just warming on it's own and fuck all that science-shit that says otherwise.

Know what else I like? How tRump supporters keep saying that they "have to trust him" because it's pretty clear that blind, stupid faith is all they have to go on when the actions and lies get so horrific. Apparently "common sense" isn't just lacking from this administration... Maybe it's something in the water?


So why is it such a big fucking deal for Trump to release his taxes? And why are the "truth and transparency" loving republicans so eager to keep them hidden?

WASHINGTON (AP) -- House Republicans have blocked an attempt by Democrats to force President Donald Trump to release his tax returns to Congress.

So really, what's the big deal? If there wasn't anything to hide wouldn't it be smart just to release them? I mean wtf, what's in there? Hoffa's body? Amelia's airplane? Cheney's missing brain? Big foot?

I mean fuck, I thought as President his records would be public by law. I guess that's not the America we live in any more.


Because it's a GOOD thing to put guns into the hands of the certifiably insane.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Congress on Wednesday sent President Donald Trump legislation blocking an Obama-era rule designed to keep guns out of the hands of certain mentally disabled people.
On a vote of 57-43, the Senate backed the resolution, just one of several early steps by the Republican-led Congress to undo regulations implemented by former President Barack Obama. The House had passed the measure earlier this year. The White House has signaled Trump will sign the legislation.

The Obama rule would have prevented an estimated 75,000 people with mental disorders from being able to purchase a firearm.

It's hard to understand why the GOP feels the need to enable crazy fuckers to own guns, especially when there's documented history of crazies being the ones who have used said weapons to kill as many people as they can. Such as children. But no, the NRA wants to enable everyone and anyone to have a gun to kill, kill, kill. Because killing is cool or something. And no, it's not about self defense because certified wack jobs like Lanza and Holmes weren't being threatened by elementary school kids or a theater full of moviegoers, really not.

I'm pretty sick of the whole "I need a gun" bullshit. No, no you fucking don't. You don't need a gun. ESPECIALLY if you're stupid-crazy. Wanna hunt? Sure, go nuts. But you don't need a pistol or an AR for that. Going to overthrow the government? Right, go ahead try it and get back to me on that too. Because someone is going to invade your home and take you hostage?

The ratio for 2012, per the Violence Policy Center, was one justifiable killing for every 32 murders, suicides or accidental deaths (the ratio increases to 38-1 over the five-year period ending in 2012). (LA Times)

Yeah the statistics don't support that. You're more likely to shoot a family member or just fuck up and shoot yourself instead. But hey, the GOP loves sucking NRA dick because John Wayne and Clint Eastwood ok?

What a fucking stupid way to govern.


Wanna know what's REALLY entertaining? Is that the people who stand to suffer the most actually voted for this.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- The Republican-controlled House voted on Friday to overturn an Obama administration rule that sought to reduce harmful methane emissions into the environment, part of the Democratic president's campaign to combat climate change.[..] The House vote followed action in the Senate earlier Friday ending an Obama-era regulation that requires oil and gas companies to disclose payments to foreign governments for mining and drilling.

The House and Senate also gave final approval this week to a measure that eliminates a rule to prevent coal mining debris from being dumped into nearby streams

This follows right on the heels of the GOP overturning rules to ensure that seniors with dementia aren't being used by people who need a clean name under which to buy a gun.

So let's see here, just a month in and energy industries can go back to spewing shit into the air, poisoning the water, keeping banks from wrecking the economy and minimizing the ability of felons to get their hands on guns purchased through our elderly who can't make decisions for themselves.

Boy oh boy that's just making America great ain't it? Well, not for anyone who lives near the pollution or shot by an illegal gun, but hey, dead people don't vote do they?


The GOP war on women has hit a milestone: it's now affecting women all over the world.

UNITED NATIONS (AP) -- President Donald Trump has massively expanded the ban on providing federal money to international groups that perform abortions, or provide abortion information, to all organizations receiving U.S. global health assistance.

The picture of Der Dickhead spoke volumes: a passle of old, wrinkled, white men passing judgement on women's abilities to control their bodies and their future. Out of touch, unsympathetic, these people decided that women who need health care are entitled to NONE.

groups in 60 countries receiving $9 billion in health assistance are now covered by the ban.

Women in 60 countries now will lose the ability to get screening for cancer, birth control, regular exams and counseling because tRump is president. I suppose it's better than his promise that women who seek an abortion should be incarcerated, but is death better than prison?

Props to you tRump voter! Making the world better, safer and healthier! You can be PROUD!


Seriously asshole, what is wrong with you? Didn't you learn from last time or are you just another Retarded Kid (see last post).

FORT WORTH, Texas, Jan. 1 (UPI) -- An Obamacare statute designed to protect transgender people from healthcare discrimination has been struck down by a federal judge in Texas. The statute -- a rule written in accordance with the Affordable Care Act and enforced by regulators at Health and Human Services -- was also intended to protect access abortion services.

"Plaintiffs claim the rule's interpretation of sex discrimination pressures doctors to deliver healthcare in a manner that violates their religious freedom and thwarts their independent medical judgment and will require burdensome changes to their health insurance plans on Jan. 1, 2017," U.S. District Court Judge Reed O'Connor wrote in his ruling.

Here let me show you how the door opens again: being transgender is LEGAL in the US, having an abortion is ALSO LEGAL in the US. Creating rulings that go against those rules will FAIL, waste time and money, cause unnecessary pain for many and result in more friction within the state. NONE OF THOSE ARE GOOD THINGS. So really Reed, you lost the last time, you're going to lose again. Why continue straightening the deck chairs on the Titanic?

Doctors will treat how they treat, your "judgement" notwithstanding. Creating laws to infringe on doctor-patient privacy is BIG GOVERNMENT inserting itself into the PRIVACY of the population, something supposedly you're against.

So fuck off, cocktard. And welcome to your new title: Asshole fuckwad shitstick moron cockwaffle douchemonkey the first, of 2017.


We tolerated it here in the US against a presidential candidate so why doesn't Canada feel the same?

Canadian politicians have expressed outrage after protesters at a political rally chanted "lock her up" about Alberta Premier Rachel Notley.

Protesters erupted into jeers at a rally against a carbon tax, hosted by the right-wing Rebel media group.

"Lock her up" was frequently chanted by Donald Trump supporters in reference to Hillary Clinton during the US election.

Mrs Clinton was under FBI investigation over her emails but Ms Notley has not faced any criminal probe.(BBC)

Yes women who aspire are criminals for challenging the status quo. Generally the same actions and antics performed by men (Oh that silly email server that Colin Powell had was NO big deal) is the basis for criminal proceedings against women. Sure we mock religious islamic zealots for forcing women to hide their faces but we totally support radical jews who do the same, or judges that ask rape victims if their dress or drunkeness meant they deserved what they got. It's a sliding scale but all on the same spectrum.

Women are losers. It's a historical fact. They take the brunt of everything bad, from famine to getting off an aircraft on fire, women die first, suffer most, and in many cases they accept their fate without fighting.

Lock her up.

Yes lock HER up. Because she dared. Imagine that.


Poor, marginalized white guy is mad mad mad that someone dared call out his bro-pal. Boy is HE going to show HER who's boss!

Donald Trump has congratulated Newt Gingrich on his spat with TV anchor Megyn Kelly, whom the former house speaker said was "fascinated" with sex.

Mr Gingrich claimed Ms Kelly showed "bias" for mentioning the groping allegations against Mr Trump.
Mr Trump praised Mr Gingrich's comments while breaking from the campaign to open his new hotel in Washington, DC.

"Congratulations," he said. "That was an amazing interview last night...We don't play games, Newt".
Mr Gingrich appeared on Fox News on Tuesday on behalf of Mr Trump in what resulted in a heated exchange between him and Ms Kelly.

The spat concluded when Ms Kelly ended the interview and told Mr Gingrich to "take your anger issues and spend some time working on them". (BBC)

Yeah, it's "bias" to mention that Trump was caught on tape boasting about how easy and fun it was to stick his hands in women's cunts. Real bias. Because, you know, people might actually not LIKE Der Donald when they hear what he has to say. Bias. Because real women are OK with letting men treat them like sex toys.

Of course it's Megyn's fault that she actually brought this up. Because BIAS! What she should have been bringing up was the fact that the opposing candidate's husband cheated and lied about cheating. Not that HE's running for president (again). But it says TONS about the person who is because everyone knows that when one person in the relationship cheats on the other then they're BOTH guilty as fuck.

Funny how that doesn't make any sense when you type it out, right?

Yes Newt, you with your STERLING record of not-cheating, not-divorcing your IN THE HOSPITAL WIFE AT THE TIME becauyse "She's not young enough or pretty enough to be the wife of the President. And besides, she has cancer." Yeah you're mr. fucking PERFECT aren't you?

No, you're a tiny tool and as Megyn pointed out, you can't even control the shit that comes out of your mouth. If you want to go suck Trump's dick, please, feel free. Just do it in private ok?


Because religion is far, far more important than a woman's health or sanity.

WARSAW, Poland (AP) -- Polish women gathered Monday in cities across the country to protest a proposal to ban abortions in cases where fetuses are badly damaged or have no chance of survival after birth.[..]

The women, joined by many men, have returned to the streets in response to a new proposal by Jaroslaw Kaczynski, the head of the ruling Law and Justice party. Earlier this month, he said his party wants to ensure that even pregnancies involving a child "certain to die, very deformed, still end up in a birth, so that the child can be baptized, buried, have a name.

If it's just a matter of how remains are treated then there's no reason why a woman must be exposed to risk of carrying an nonviable fetus. The remains must be named and baptized? Sure, go right ahead. But the idea of compelling a woman to be a walking coffin for a fetus that is guaranteed to die is beyond cruel. It only prolongs the agony for everyone.

Poland needs a divorce from the church and polish women need to make a stand for their rights. Telling a woman what she can and can't do with her body, her life isn't what a government is for (contrary, of course, to what conservative fuckwads like to think).

Here's hoping that polish women make a stand and make a difference, both for themselves and their daughters. Here's also hoping that the fucking patriarchy gets one shoved up their ultra-tight assholes.


Mama-Trump Failed

The first lesson every mother teaches their kid is "don't interrupt". Clearly Mama Trump failed to bring up Baby Donald very well because it's a lesson he clearly didn't learn.

But Trump also did himself few favors. He interrupted Clinton repeatedly during the debate, at times leaning into his microphone to declare "wrong!" as she was talking. And he perplexingly stood by his criticism of Machado the morning after the debate, saying in an interview on Fox News Channel that Machado was one of the "worst we ever had" in the beauty contest he used to own.

"She gained a massive amount of weight," Trump said. "It was a real problem. We had a real problem."(AP)

Rude? Yes. Fat bashing women? Also yes. Pimping your own daughter? Yes again (in fact he basically said he'd fuck her.)

Trump has taken misogyny to a new level. Problem is the people who he's targeting, his fans and voters AGREE with this behavior. Not only don't they see a problem they're actually HAPPY to have someone abuse women verbally the way women used to be abused decades ago. This makes them feel validated.

Trump isn't the problem. The fact that people AGREE with him is. Those are the people you should be afraid of.


And that's putting it nicely.

RALEIGH, N.C. (AP) -- The NCAA's decision to pull seven championships out of North Carolina ratchets up the pressure on this college sports-crazy state to repeal its law on bathroom use by transgender people.[..]

Lt. Gov. Dan Forest, a Christian conservative and strong defender of the law, called the NCAA's decision "shameful extortion."[..]

"Everybody should be concerned about lost revenue, but I don't put a price tag on our women and girls of any kind," Forest said. He added: "It's just unbelievable to me to think that these entities would think that it's OK to invade the privacy or security of a woman or a girl in a shower or a locker room."

So here it is: SHOW ME THE PROOF THAT YOUR LAW PROTECTS ANYONE DIPSHIT DAN. Because we both know you don't have any proof. Your bullshit fearmongering is a fabrication of your congealed brain. Transgender people are NOT a threat and the fact that your troglodyte mentality holds sway in your tiny world doesn't mean that anyone else will buy your syphilitic rhetoric. I'm genuinely sorry that you're afraid of change, that you can't respect the rights and self-determination of others but you're free (since you were elected) to run your state into the ground through your ignorance and hate.

Enjoy yourself fucktard, but history isn't going to be kind to ignorant assholes like you, and neither am I.


How do police in India get a free meal? By claiming they're "checking" for violations.

Police in the north-western Indian state of Hariyana will check dishes of mutton biryani to ensure they do not contain beef, a senior official has told the BBC. (BBC)

Next they'll be checking Samosas, bottle of Fanta and Gelabi's for beef too. Probably chewing gum and mints just after, just to be sure.


Gotta love how legislators "know" what's best for women. And not their doctors.

COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) -- Ohio's restrictions on the so-called abortion pill led to a higher rate of side effects, more doctor visits and additional medical treatment for patients, according to a new study.[..]

Once implemented, Ohio's law initially required physicians administering mifepristone to follow outdated protocols for the abortion drug, originally known as RU-486. The U.S. Food and Drug Administration's guidelines at the time contained a higher, more expensive dosage of the drug. It's prescribed along with a second drug, misoprostol.

Basic message: by wrapping medical treatment with additional layers of rules in a futile attempt to restrict access, politicians did more harm than good. Actually that goes for all science, from global warming to disease, politicians know DICK about how the technical issues they are empowered to affect. Must be awesome to get elected, probably should just give themselves PhD's in All The Things just to make it more official. It's especially more awesome when those decisions can cause pain and death, because it was done under the label "things that were well intended."

So once again, if you don't like abortions then don't fucking have one. Otherwise just mind your own damn business about other what others choose to do.


I was torn between putting this in the "asshole" vs. "idiot" category so I went with both.

Egyptian judoka Islam El Shehaby has been sent home from the Rio Olympics after refusing to shake the hand of Israeli Or Sasson following the end of their bout, the International Olympic Committee said on Monday.

El Shehaby, who was sent home by his own team, lost the fight on Friday and was reprimanded by the IOC for his actions.

The athlete said he did not want to shake hands with an Israeli, nor was he obliged to do so under judo rules, but the IOC said his behavior went against the rules and spirit of the Olympic Games and the rules of fair play.[..]

"Shaking the hand of your opponent is not an obligation written in the judo rules. It happens between friends and he's not my friend," El Shehaby said after his bout. (Reuters)

El Shabby is a dumb motherfucker and it's a pity Egypt gave him the opportunity to demonstrate his stupidity on the world stage. Clearly he missed the part in his training where they explained the meaning of respect. Respect to his opponent, his host, the audience and the sport. Since he couldn't figure that simplest of ideas out he clearly deserves none in return.

I'd be surprised if Shabby ever returned to another Olympics. In fact it would be an absolute pity. He doesn't understand the spirit of the games nor the dignity of competition. Jackass. Go home and stay home so you don't embarrass your country or yourself ever again.