Category: "Assholes On Parade"

Feb/19
2018

There's a clear theme here.

WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. (AP) -- As the nation mourned, President Donald Trump kept largely silent about the Florida school shooting victims and the escalating gun control debate, instead raging at the FBI for what he perceived to be a fixation on the Russia investigation at the cost of failing to deter the attack.

Did he NOT notice that kids died last week? Does that not even matter to him? I guess not. Because it's the United States of tRump. We just are lucky enough to live here.

Feb/13
2018

Yes You Too Asswipe

Austrian director Michael Haneke is sad that the Directing Couch is now (almost) a thing of the past. He misses the good ol' days when men could be as misogynistic as they liked and bitches either put up or got kicked out.

BERLIN (AP) -- Austrian film director Michael Haneke, an Academy Award and two-time Palme d'Or winner, has compared the Hollywood sexual harassment scandal to a "witch hunt" that has ushered in a "new, men-hating puritanism."[..] He said what especially bothered him was the "complete spitefulness without any reflection and the blind rage, which is not based on facts but ... destroys the lives of people whose crimes have not been proven."

Haneke said, "people are been killed in the media, lives and careers destroyed."

Because it's TERRIBLE when a famous man gets exposed but when a woman is abused behind a closed door it's fine, just fine.

Hey Mikey. Fucking fuck you fuck face, mmmm 'kay? All these "poor men" who are victims of hysteria, "complete spitefulness" and "blind rage", maybe just maybe ask yourself where that spite and rage came from hmmm? Maybe, just maybe if women weren't treated like disposable commodities that rage, that hate, that desire for revenge wouldn't exist. And maybe your pity for "all the other men" who have been injustly vilified just masks the fear you have that someone will expose you.

How about you take a dose of "man up you fucking pussy" and realize that you had your day, and that exclusive male dominance in film is coming to a close. Or, if you like, "if you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen Bitch... oh and while you're in there? Make me a sandwich."

Feb/11
2018

It all starts with being stupid or, in this case, stupid and arrogant. Junior Dickhead Pence (doesn't quite have the same ring as "Dickhead Donald") heads off to Korea for the Olympics, and when confronted with the sister of the North Korean Dicktater he freaks out and hides. Refuses to go to dinner. Looks straight ahead when she's next to him. Doesn't say a word.

Not very manly if you ask me. Certainly no John Wayne, staring danger in the face, challenging ideas, speaking up for what he believes in. Nope. Instead of being the vice president of the American Patriarchy, Pence came across as a scared child.

But Mike Pence and Kim Yo-jong stared fixedly ahead during the chilly, blustery opening ceremony of the Winter Olympics on Friday in Pyeongchang, South Korea. There would be no dramatic handshake to upstage the athletes, flag carriers, drummers or torchbearers. (NYT)

One way or another, either popping some bubblegum or being a man and saying something Pence could have made history. Instead he was just a nobody and the moment went by...

Feb/09
2018

Dickhead Donald can't see anything wrong with slapping a few bitches, especially when in a relationship with them. In fact he applauds not just the idea but anyone who fits that bill.

US President Donald Trump has paid tribute to an ex-aide who quit this week amid domestic abuse allegations.

"We wish him well," he said in his first public remarks on the claims against ex-White House staff secretary Rob Porter. "He worked very hard." [..] "He did a very good job while when he was in the White House. And we hope he has a wonderful career and he will have a great career ahead of him." (BBC)

Pretty clearly Dickhead doesn't have any issue with a guy who would slug his bride on their honeymoon. Even if it's like a pattern of abuse that multiple women can attest to. That's because Dickhead doesn't value women or even see them as human. In Dickhead's pea brain women are merely an accessory, something that's damn clear from the way he treats the First Lady.

But Dickhead was always a dickhead, my extra special reserve, black-label hate is set aside specially for women who support Dickhead. You can almost hear them thinking "Omg, yes, yes, please abuse ME Donny, yes, I'll forgive you because god told me to."

Those cunts really do deserve a sock in the chops. Problem is, they'd love it.

Feb/08
2018

Asshole is back at it again, posing for the cocksucking jesus droolers.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- President Donald Trump told a prayer breakfast Thursday that faith is "central to American life and liberty."

In remarks to the annual gathering of lawmakers, religious leaders and dignitaries, Trump noted that America's founders invoked "our creator" in the Declaration of Independence, U.S. currency declares "In God We Trust" and "we place our hands on our hearts as we recite the Pledge of Allegiance and proclaim we are one nation under God."

Dickhead only worships one god: himself. The single reason he's aware of "in god we trust" is because money is the runner up in his polytheistic pantheon of puerility.

Faith. Don't make me fucking laugh. Anyone with any REAL faith knows that you only forgive sinners when they try NOT to sin again. Dickhead, however, claims faith while everything he does and says contradicts the very basis of any religion. And the blind zealots suck it up, proclaiming loyalty to someone who is the very epitome of greed, lust, sloth, wrath, envy, pride and a pile of cheeseburgers in bed.

Faith. You fucking faith fakers are laughable. Please. Go faith yourself.

Feb/07
2018

Only they really aren't HIS toys, they belong to the American people. And THIS American person doesn't fucking want a parade with guns and tanks because this ain't fucking North Korea.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- President Donald Trump has asked the Pentagon to plan a grand parade of the U.S. armed forces in Washington this year to celebrate military strength, officials said Tuesday.

The Washington Post, which was first to report the plan, said Trump wants an elaborate parade this year with soldiers marching and tanks rolling, but no date has been selected.

White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders confirmed the request Tuesday evening. She said Trump wants the Pentagon to "explore a celebration" that will allow Americans to show appreciation for the military.

Dickhead gets more and more like a petty dictator every day. He wants constant praise. He cycles through advisers like an allergy sufferer goes through Kleenex. He needs bigger, better toys, parades, displays, applause. It doesn't matter who pays. We're looking at a return to defects higher than when Obama was in office now.

GOP defense hawks were prevailing over the party's depleted ranks of deficit hawks, championing major new spending on military programs. Democrats, meanwhile, leveraged their influence to increase spending for domestic priorities such as combating opioid misuse.

The result could be the return of trillion-dollar deficits for the first time since Obama's first term.

But none of this matters, because Dickhead doesn't actually GOVERN, rather he just likes to play. He likes to go to parties. He likes presents. He likes praise. It doesn't matter that in the US we appreciate our military differently, that we prefer to have them healthy and safe rather than infested with worms as they bolt for the border to another country. No. In Dickhead's mind he wants a military parade with tanks and missiles, something we've never and SHOULD never have, ever. Not the the US. Because we don't been to showcase our capabilities to anyone, not even ourselves.

It's only been a year, but Dickhead sure has done an outstanding job of being the worst person ever, not just as president, but as a human being. It's hard to imagine worse, but I'm sure he'll show us.

Feb/06
2018

Most of us are familiar with the feeling of not wanting to go to work. Most of us, however, don't want it so badly that we'd burn the factory down. Not Dickhead, however...

President Donald Trump has said he would "love to see" the US government shut down if Congress does not agree an immigration deal.

"If we don't change it let's have a shutdown. We'll do a shutdown, and it's worth it for our country," he said. (BBC)

That's right. Because Dickhead can't get his way, because he's not getting plaudits and huzzahs, because people DARE to disapprove and disagree then everything should stop. No work should get done. Public servants should be sent home. All progress should cease. This is the "president". President? What kind of leader not only encourages but celebrates chaos and discontinuity?

Only one kind: Dickhead Donald.

It's his world. He owns it. We just have to live here.

Feb/02
2018

At what point did the GOP ever try to care about non-white, non-binary, non-male citizens? Answer? Fuck that you know the answer.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- The Republican National Committee is siding with President Donald Trump on his order to bar transgender individuals from serving in the U.S. military.

It doesn't fucking MATTER that the military is past all that. It doesn't fucking MATTER that soldiers deserve respect, no matter who they are. It doesn't fucking matter that the majority of American's don't agree with this kind of stupid, dickless, brainless, hateful bigotry. It just makes them feel good, is all.

It really takes a special type of egotistical, hate-fuck to keep on trucking down this anti-trans, anti-gay road. Fact is that NONE of these shitstains represent their voters, their state or this nation. Fact is, it makes them FEEL better because they're all pussies, willing to attack soldiers who are ready to defend America because they don't want to be assaulted by a vocal minority of religious-filth.

Fuck you RNC. Fuck you Dickhead Donald. You have no balls, no morals and no pride. You're not worthy to even TALK about those serving our nation. Scumbags. Go on, waste more taxpayer money on your stupidity.

Feb/01
2018

Guess which state I'm talking about, go on, guess. The most ultra-conservative, the most gun-loving, the most bible-thumping...

INDIANAPOLIS (AP) -- Newly released federal figures show a sharp rise in child abuse fatalities in the U.S., with the bulk of the increase occurring in two states - Indiana and Texas - where child-welfare agencies have been in disarray.

According to a report released this week by the Department of Health and Human Services, there were 1,700 fatalities resulting from child maltreatment reported in fiscal year 2016, compared to 1,589 the previous year - a 7 percent increase. The figures encompass data from every state but Maine, as well as from the District of Columbia and Puerto Rico.

Accounting for most of the increase were Texas, where fatalities jumped from 162 to 217, and Indiana, where the death toll more than doubled from 34 to 70.

Yes, the state trying the HARDEST to outlaw abortion is also the state with the highest child abuse death rates. AND, in this period of blindingly stupid ultra-ultra-conservatism abusers are having a fucking FIELD DAY. They must love the fact that the crackdown on women and women's rights means more fodder for their pedo-mill.

But that's pretty much how the story goes: the fanatical pro-life brigade couldn't give two shits about the child being born. They're keen to stand out in the cold and demand that women be slaves to their reproductive systems, but as for the suffering of the child after it's born? Fuck no. No interest. No investment. No love.

Frankly if I were going to get beaten, raped, abused or murdered as a toddler I'd much rather not be born at all. But pro-lifers aren't really about the babies, they're about themselves and their desire to be "above" others. They're selfish fuckwads who could care less about a child's quality of life than their morality metrics.

Pro life: because the only life you care about is your own.

Jan/30
2018

You know what "Mufti" is supposed to mean? It's supposed to be "wise man". Keep that in mind as you read what this jackass said.

LUCKNOW, India (AP) -- A senior cleric at an influential Islamic seminary in northern India has issued a religious decree saying that Muslim women should not watch men playing soccer.

Mufti Athar Kasmi said that watching men "playing with bare knees" violated the tenets of Islam and was forbidden for women. Kasmi is cleric at Darul Uloom, Asia's largest Sunni Muslim seminary in the northern town of Deoband.

The cleric also lashed out at the men who allow their wives to watch football even on television.

"Do you have no shame? Do you not fear God? You let her watch these kinds of things," he said in his sermon Friday.

Yes that's right, women will be CORRUPTED if they see a NAKED KNEE. Of which there are millions around in public anyway as men often wear shorts in hot weather. Like in India.

Bahahahahahahahahhaah. Goddamn, what a fucking idiot. Wow. Just goes to show that there's isn't any certifying board to get your Mufti-degree. Just about any yobbo can get one for a candy wrapper and a rupee.

Jan/22
2018

I apologize to Penis's all over the world for that association above. You're (mostly) not as shriveled and pathetic as Mike.

Lie #1

Pence says before a dinner in Jerusalem with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu (neh-ten-YAH'-hoo) that the shutdown is ending "thanks to the firm stand taken by President Trump" and congressional Republicans. (AP)

Truth: Dickhead Donald did nothing. He ran and hid when he broke the government. Then he waited for someone else to step forward and fix the situation. If by "firm stand" you mean "sucking his thumb in the back of a closet" then sure! We agree!

Lie #2

Vice President Mike Pence says reports that an adult film star had an alleged affair with President Donald Trump are "baseless allegations." (AP)

Truth: Dickhead did fuck Stormy Daniels. He even did it while he was married. He even got her a few bags of hush money not to say anything about it, but no big deal, right? It's not like adultery is a sin or something.

Lie #3

Mike Pence on Monday defended President Donald Trump on his recent comments disparaging immigration from Africa and Haiti, telling The Associated Press that the president's "heart" is aimed at a merit-based system that is blind to immigrants' "race or creed." (AP)

Truth: Well this is on the edge since Mike didn't DENY that Dickhead called African nations "shitholes". He only diverted attention from infantile language that doesn't befit a president and concepts that don't befit ANY adult with an unverifiable sentiment. Fact is that Dickhead already tried an immigration ban based on race and followed that up with "I only want White People from Norway." So no way he's a racist. Maybe.

Jan/22
2018

Because it's the details that really matter.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- The White House says President Donald Trump is focused on minimizing the harm [..] through the government shutdown.[..]

Trump has been criticized for not meeting with lawmakers since a lunch Friday with Democratic New York Sen. Chuck Schumer.

Trump also hasn't appeared in public since Friday. The White House released photos showing him in the Oval Office on Saturday and meeting with staff.

Budget director Mick Mulvaney says he's meeting with Trump later Monday to go over the "mechanics" of a shutdown.

Sure Dickhead is "focused on minimizing the harm" of a government shutdown TO HIMSELF. Dickhead hasn't appeared in public because the Ceremonial President Bather, Ceremonial President Food-Cutter, Ceremonial President Adorner of Clothes are all missing. And Dicky hasn't had to do those things for himself for.. well, forever. He's still probably standing in front of the Presidential toilet wondering which lever makes the "flush" sound.

Jan/21
2018

Madam, whomever you are, I salute you. That slogan is so on point it hurts. Literally.

The White House has changed its answering machine message to blame Donald Trump's political opponents for its failure to answer calls.

The US is in the middle of a government shutdown, leaving many federal services without staff.

But callers to the White House comment line at the weekend were informed that Democrats were to blame.

The recorded message says calls cannot be answered because Democrats are holding government funding "hostage".

The recorded message was set up on the White House comment phone line, which accepts calls from members of the public.

"Unfortunately, we cannot answer your call today because Congressional Democrats are holding government funding - including funding for our troops and other national security priorities - hostage to an unrelated immigration debate," the recording says.

"Due to this obstruction, the government is shut down." (BBC)

First off, here is my retort: Fuck You Donald Trump. You are incompetent. You're lazy. You're unable to do anything useful because you have no useful skills. You're greedy. You're selfish. You're hateful. You're petty. You're not a "business man" like you advertised yourself to be, you clearly can't make any "deals". You're a liar. You're egotistical. You're sexist, racist and pretty much the most vile person ever to stain the carpets in the White House.

The reason the government is shutdown is because YOU ARE A FAILURE AS PRESIDENT. But you're also a failure as a man and a human being. The only person to blame for the partisan message, for the friction, the lack of action, for the brain-aching stupidity that sluices out of the White House is YOU.

Dear Donald Trump, please go away. You're ruining our nation. Kthxbai.

Jan/21
2018

Nassar sexually abused scores of young women because he could, he had access to them. His only mistake was not being as rich and pugnacious as Dickhead Donald.

More than 100 victims have come forward. Nassar admitted 10 criminal counts and could face life in prison. (BBC)

Dickhead has abused more women than he can remember. He deliberately entices wives of his friends. He fucked a porn star while married. He forced himself on more women while in a position of authority than just about anyone but Harvey Weinstein.

But hey, he's now "pro-life" so that just erases all moral transgressions, past and future, right?

Vice-President Mike Pence, who introduced Mr Trump, called him "the most pro-life president in American history" and added that he would "restore the sanctity of life to the centre of American law". (BBC)

Yes, it's the same thing: taking away a woman's voice, her control over her body, her self esteem and ensuring that victims STAY victims by knowing that the law will not support them. Dickhead is no different than Larry Nassar. They're both offenders who placed themselves above women, using them and justifying their abuse because of their own ego.

Only Larry wasn't rich enough or shameless enough not to get caught. For now, that is.

Jan/19
2018

Because Bozo is going to have to go get them himself.

Trump was originally scheduled to attend a "Trump Victory Dinner" Saturday night at Mar-a-Lago, with proceeds going to a joint fundraising committee for his re-election campaign and the Republican National Committee. That was up in the air early Saturday.

The reverberations will be felt across Washington, all over the nation - and within the White House residence.

According to federal stipulations, just 21 of the 96 members of the White House residential staff would report to duty on any day of a shutdown.

"Essentially, our core group of residence staff would still report to work to ensure that basic services are still provided to the first family," said Stephanie Grisham, a spokeswoman for first lady Melania Trump. (AP)

Dickhead, or Bozo if you prefer, works maybe 5 hours a day and likes to end his "tiring" travails in bed with a cheeseburger as he watches TV and blurts stupid shit onto Twitter. Well, with a 79% reduction in staff he's not going to have the service he's used to. No more warm towels out of the shower. No more turn-down service. And he'll have to place his own goddamn mint on his pillow at night (because sure-as-fuck you know that Mel ain't gonna be doing that.)

Bozo wanted to go to Florida for a nice party he was throwing himself (at Taxpayer expense), but supposedly he's now going to "stay" and "work" to fix the government he's broken.

Great president? Ha. The only thing he's great at is being the worst and most disliked president in history. At long last Harding and Buchanan can rest in peace.

Jan/17
2018

Because if there's no medical explanation for his behavior then it's calculated and deliberate.

US President Donald Trump has shown no abnormal signs following a cognitive exam and is in excellent health, his White House doctor says.

"I have no concerns about his cognitive ability or neurological functions," Ronny Jackson said on Tuesday. (BBC)

By all accounts Dickhead acts like a psychotic, spoiled toddler who needs constant attention and gratification. So if it's not cognitive decline then he really IS just a selfish fucktard with no regard for anyone other than himself.

Kinda what I suspected all along.

Jan/12
2018

The only shithole the President needs to be concerned about is the one between his nose and chin. Of course others put it more succinctly...

And Idaho Republican Mike Simpson told The Associated Press that Trump's remarks were "stupid and irresponsible and childish."

"He's president of the United States. That's not how a president behaves," Simpson said. "And for all of those people out there that are enamored with Trump's behavior and think this is no big deal, well shame on them. This is a big deal. America's influence and power in the world has really been about our ability to persuade because of our leadership, and he's just destroying that."(AP)

And there ARE people defending this scumbag, "pastors" even. If you can call them that, because in reality, true men of God don't hate, much less use derogatory comments about other cultures and nations.

The Rev. Robert Jeffress of First Baptist Dallas says that, apart from the reported choice of words, "Trump is right on target in his policy."

Robert Jeffress can go fuck himself.

But you know, regardless of Dickhead's stupidity, the icing is his lying about what he said and then immediately defending himself.

President Donald Trump has privately defended his remarks disparaging Haitians and African countries, saying he was only expressing what many people think but won't say about immigrants from economically depressed countries.

Dickhead? You're an asshole. You're the real fucking shithole this nation has to deal with. And to the rest of the world? Once again, I'm sorry.

Goddamn but it's getting tiresome having to apologize for this moron.