Category: "Assholes On Parade"


And what's more, women aren't PAID to be fucking scumbags either.

MEMPHIS, Tenn. (AP) -- A defense lawyer is being criticized for telling a Tennessee jury that women are "especially good" at lying "because they're the weaker sex."[..]
Farese told the newspaper that his job "is not to care if anybody gets offended" and "smart people will see it for what it is."

Yes, "women" are good at lying. They're born to it. They're not trained, or use it as part of their chosen profession.

Steve you're a total fucktard. I hope the "lying" women in your life help you understand where you went wrong, or, preferably, disown your misogynistic ass.


Yep, another dick-brained excuse from yet another dick-brained GOP trog. Introducing *drum roll* Florida Fucktard Frank Artiles.

A Florida state senator has apologised to his African-American colleagues after insulting them and using a racial slur during a bar-room chat with them.
Miami Republican Frank Artiles spoke on the floor of the Florida Senate on Wednesday, saying "no one deserves to be spoken to like that".[..]
During Monday night's discussion, Mr Artiles reportedly sought to justify his use of the n-word, insisting he intended a slang pronunciation that he thought was not offensive. (BBC)

Because there's a RIGHT way to call someone a nigger? No, actually there's not. But there is a great way to lose all cred and get your ass removed from any serious discussion. Here's hoping Frankie loses his job for revealing what he really thinks about women and African-Americans.

And also hon, it's NOT ok to call a fellow senator a "bitch" to her face. Just in case that part was unclear...


You voted for tRump, you voted for the end of friendships, the end of family differences, you voted for hate, intolerance and, most essentially and importantly, war. This is now open and angry and pits Americans against each other in a way that won't break for years, possibly generations.

Yes, it's "divided we fall" time.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- In a confrontation that could reshape the Supreme Court for generations, Republicans tore up the Senate's voting rules Thursday to allow Trump nominee Neil Gorsuch to ascend to the high court over furious Democratic objections.
Democrats denounced the GOP's use of what both sides dubbed the "nuclear option" to put Gorsuch on the court, calling it an epic power grab that would further corrode politics in Congress, the courts and the nation. Many Republicans bemoaned reaching that point, too, but they blamed Democrats for pushing them to it. [..]
But Democrats were unable to pull back from the brink, partly because they remain livid over McConnell's decision last year to block Obama's Supreme Court nominee, Judge Merrick Garland, who was denied even a hearing after the death of Justice Antonin Scalia in February 2016. Instead McConnell kept Scalia's seat open, a calculation that is now paying off for Republicans and Trump.

Yes the GOP is ready and willing to destroy whatever civility is left to have their way. These are the people ELECTED by americans who feel that "FUCK YOU" is the better response to a disagreement than compromise.

Ok, so that's how you want to play it? Fine. It's going to continue to play out that way down to the finest and smallest bonds, between relatives and friends.

You voted for hate. Don't cry to me when you get a face full of it.


Yes that's FLOCKING not fucking, get your mind out of the gutter... wait no. Don't bother because that's where this post is going.

President Donald Trump has defended embattled Fox News host Bill O'Reilly amid reports of settlements with five women who sued him for harassment.
"I think he's a person I know well - he is a good person," Mr Trump told the New York Times on Wednesday from the White House, surrounded by his aides.
"I think he shouldn't have settled; personally I think he shouldn't have settled," the president added.
Dozens of advertisers have pulled commercials from The O'Reilly Factor.
"I don't think Bill did anything wrong," Mr Trump told the New York Times, adding that "he should have taken it all the way" to court.(BBC)

Well whaddaya know, ol' Dickhead Dopestick is coming to the defense of a fucknugget like himself. After the shriveled penis-faced O'Reilly put the mack on female coworkers and wound up paying for his misogyny, Dickhead thinks that "Bill is a good man". How christian of him! Yes propositioning women you work with and taking revenge when they don't let you fuck them is totally how this president rolls, hell the conservatard fan-club of Trumpanzees didn't even bat an eye when he boasted about grabbing women by the crotch just because he could. So, all in all, no surprise that DDT would go to bat for another fucknugget like himself AND tell Bill he should have taken it to court. Actually, going to court would have been awesome, because a) Bill would have had to pay court fees on top of everything else and b) the details of his douchebaggery would have been published.

tRumpmerica: where being non-white, non-christian and non-male makes you a criminal.


I mean really, the very IDEA that a CONSERVATIVE news source would be offensive to women? I can hardly fathom it.

Car company Mercedes-Benz says it's pulling ads from Fox News' "The O'Reilly Factor" because of host Bill O'Reilly's sexual-harassment "controversy."
The New York Times reported over the weekend Fox News' parent company or O'Reilly have paid $13 million since 2012 to five women who said he sexually harassed or verbally abused them. (AP)

Sponsors have been leaving Faux News by the double handful. While it may be ok for conservatives (read: assholes) to malign women and use them as a target for hate and intolerance the REST of the civilized world does not. It's entertaining that american's are ok with slapping a bitch down, it's not only tolerated in much of the US it's actually CELEBRATED with southern and mid-western women happily leading the parade of hate against their own sisters.

Well, guess not everyone sees it their way and ultimately money talks.

DDT has done the world a favor, with semi-closeted shitbags like O'Reilly thinking that their type of fuckbaggery is now welcome, only to find that it's welcome to a very SELECT audience. Well then, you've made your choice, hope you enjoy it. I know I certainly am.


Rocket Ryan

There's a two-fer in this quote, see if you can figure it out before you read the rest of my post.

On Wednesday evening Speaker Ryan was asked what he thought of Mr Trump reaching out to Democrats on healthcare reform.
"I don't want that to happen," he said. "You know why? I want a patient-centred system. I don't want government running healthcare.
"The government shouldn't tell you what you must do with your life, with your healthcare. We should give people choices." On Thursday morning Bob Corker, a Republican senator from Tennessee, gave the speaker a stinging rebuke. "We have come a long way in our country when the speaker of one party urges a president NOT to work with the other party to solve a problem," he tweeted. (BBC)

Figured it out? Great, let's crosscheck.

First, "I don't want government running healthcare. The government shouldn't tell you what you must do with your life, with your healthcare. We should give people choices." Unless? That's right! Unless you're a WOMAN in which case the government MUST tell you what to do with you live and TAKE AWAY any choices.

Second, "Speaker Ryan was asked what he thought of Mr Trump reaching out to Democrats on healthcare reform... "I don't want that to happen." Ok, so that was an obvious gimme, it was already spelled out by one of their own as fucking stupid, but it still spells out exactly what's going on here: the GOP fundamentally care about how sound, viable, reasonable or useful their policies are. They want to "pass legislation" to rack up points, not actually govern. They want power and to keep themselves in power, at the cost of everyone and anyone who gets in their way. Rocket Ryan only has one mission: keep control of the majority, get GOP candidates elected, regardless of quality or sanity.

Public interest in mind? Oh please. As if.


Hey Bill, I wouldn't go criticizing someone else's hair when you don't fucking have any.

Black women are sharing their experiences of prejudice in the workplace, using the Twitter hashtag #BlackWomenatWork, after Fox News host Bill O'Reilly made fun of a black congresswoman's hair.
O'Reilly has since apologised for saying in a Fox & Friends clip that he didn't hear a word of a speech Maxine Waters delivered at the House of Representatives because he was too distracted by "the James Brown wig". (BBC)

Bill, bill, bill. You're just an asshole like the rest of the conservatards right? At a loss for words you lash out, mocking a woman because it's "funny." What's not funny about demeaning an educated black woman? It's your natural instinct, revealing the crass nature of the right-wing mentality: Women are garbage, non-white women are even less than that.

Fuck you bill. You're a withered, dickless, brainless, egotistical, inflated, self-aggrandizing, loathsome, shitbag of a presenter. I'm sorry you can't respect a successful woman, sorrier that there's actually other shitbags out there who support you. It's the worst this nation has to offer and you're their king.

So take your "apology" and fucking shove it. Maxine doesn't have time for your brand of stupid. She has better things to do, like run this country.

And, among other things, the Trump administration wants the side of the wall facing the United States to be "aesthetically pleasing in color." (AP)


Awww, Dickhead Donald is having a sad.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- With the failure Friday of Republican health care legislation, President Donald Trump's campaign promise to replace so-called Obamacare "immediately" has been broken.
That promise stands at odds with his statement that "I never said repeal it and replace it within 64 days. I have a long time."
On multiple occasions in the campaign, Trump said he would get rid of President Barack Obama's health care law "very, very quickly," especially if he came to office with a Republican-controlled Congress.

Yep, keep making shit up as you go along Donny-boy, because ain't no one noticing your lies, contradictions and bullshit. Nope, no one is keeping count. Seems like all your threats didn't matter much. Methinks that they'll matter even less from here on. It's entertaining that even with a GOP majority that DD couldn't make it fly and has to blame it on the Dems again.

64 days of FAIL douchebag. And it's only going to go down from here. Since already the pattern of "lob out shitty legislation only to get it shot down" seems to be firmly in place. But hey, I'm sure the press will be more than HAPPY to paint your tribulations in a positive light, treating you and your successes with the same dignity you accord them. Nope, no one is keeping count. Well... then again, maybe I'm wrong about that.


Pinhead: tRump Jr

Hey Junior, you're embarrassing your NATION.

LONDON (AP) -- Donald Trump Jr. is facing criticism for a tweet sent in the hours after Wednesday's London attack that included a months-old comment from London Mayor Sadiq Khan that terror attacks are part of living in a big city, but left out that Khan was noting that residents need to "be prepared" for such attacks.

So a month later you take a tweet out of context to attack London's mayor because HE'S NOT WHITE AND THAT OFFENDS YOU. You little turd, howabout you learn what your dad can't like WHEN TO KEEP YOUR FUCKING CAKEHOLE SHUT, you little shitbag.


When he doesn't want to face the actual WORK of being president what does he do? Go back to campaigning. Maybe that way the grass will stay greener...

NASHVILLE, Tenn. (AP) -- President Donald Trump is returning to the road, rallying supporters to recapture the enthusiasm of his campaign and reassuring them about his tumultuous early days in the White House.[..] In Trump's rally telling, things in Washington are going great. He's been cracking down on illegal immigration, is "way ahead of schedule" on his southern border wall and is on the verge of passing a new health care plan that "does so much for you."

Dickhead has a really hard time with actually sitting down and doing the work and who can blame him? Work is HARD. It means THINKING. It means REASONING. These are things that Dickhead doesn't want to do because they're not fun. Worse! People have been cracking down on his fun all over the place (how dare they.) Dickhead tweets whatever he wants whenever he wants, and it's all true because he's PRESIDENT. Anything the president says is automatically true and anything he does is automatically legal, but no, stupid people insist on CHECKING facts, on demanding PROOF. How rude! Don't they respect that he's president?

So to escape all the stress and "work" (read: showing off to foreign dignitaries) he's back on the road, pressing the flesh and stomping around on stage because even without bread, circuses are a GREAT way to keep the masses entertained.

Until, you know, they can't be entertained any more.

NEW RINGGOLD, Pa. (AP) -- Among the groups hardest hit by the Republican plan to replace the Affordable Care Act is one that swung for Donald Trump during last year's presidential race - older Americans who have not yet reached Medicare age.[..] Health care experts predict those older adults will end up buying skimpier plans with lower coverage and higher deductibles because that's all they will be able to afford.

Yes, those days of grandstanding to screaming masses have gotten a little more strained. It's one thing to have someone else to blame for the problems but now the buck stops with him. And Dickhead has to find a way to keep the cult happy, even when they're the ones who will be taking the fall.

Good luck Nero, keep on fiddlin'.


Go on guess! Who am I talking about? You have absolutely NO idea right?

There are "no indications" that Trump Tower was under surveillance by the US government before or after the election, a Senate committee has said.
The statement from Republican Senator Richard Burr, Senate Intelligence Committee chairman, dismissed Donald Trump's claim his phones were tapped.(BBC)

That little white lie by the sitting president just cost the american taxpayers well over several million dollars. Because he can't come to terms with the idea that there's ACCOUNTABILITY now, completely incapable, a man who is used to getting and saying whatever he wants. It used to be some lackey's job to clean up after, to quietly hide the mess or make the impossible come true. That lackey is now the GOP.

And that lackey has just said: "no".


Because i'm pretty sure that between the lot of them this administration has one, maybe two whole ones.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- The new chief of the Environmental Protection Agency [Scott Pruitt] said Thursday he does not believe that carbon dioxide is a primary contributor to global warming, a statement at odds with mainstream scientific consensus and his own agency.

Like that? When quizzed before his confirmation he said he believed (suddenly) that global warming was a thing, and now... well, maybe but it's certainly got nothing to do with the big money that industry pours into this administration. No, not cars, not factories, not burning coal, really the globe is just warming on it's own and fuck all that science-shit that says otherwise.

Know what else I like? How tRump supporters keep saying that they "have to trust him" because it's pretty clear that blind, stupid faith is all they have to go on when the actions and lies get so horrific. Apparently "common sense" isn't just lacking from this administration... Maybe it's something in the water?


So why is it such a big fucking deal for Trump to release his taxes? And why are the "truth and transparency" loving republicans so eager to keep them hidden?

WASHINGTON (AP) -- House Republicans have blocked an attempt by Democrats to force President Donald Trump to release his tax returns to Congress.

So really, what's the big deal? If there wasn't anything to hide wouldn't it be smart just to release them? I mean wtf, what's in there? Hoffa's body? Amelia's airplane? Cheney's missing brain? Big foot?

I mean fuck, I thought as President his records would be public by law. I guess that's not the America we live in any more.


Because it's a GOOD thing to put guns into the hands of the certifiably insane.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Congress on Wednesday sent President Donald Trump legislation blocking an Obama-era rule designed to keep guns out of the hands of certain mentally disabled people.
On a vote of 57-43, the Senate backed the resolution, just one of several early steps by the Republican-led Congress to undo regulations implemented by former President Barack Obama. The House had passed the measure earlier this year. The White House has signaled Trump will sign the legislation.
The Obama rule would have prevented an estimated 75,000 people with mental disorders from being able to purchase a firearm.

It's hard to understand why the GOP feels the need to enable crazy fuckers to own guns, especially when there's documented history of crazies being the ones who have used said weapons to kill as many people as they can. Such as children. But no, the NRA wants to enable everyone and anyone to have a gun to kill, kill, kill. Because killing is cool or something. And no, it's not about self defense because certified wack jobs like Lanza and Holmes weren't being threatened by elementary school kids or a theater full of moviegoers, really not.

I'm pretty sick of the whole "I need a gun" bullshit. No, no you fucking don't. You don't need a gun. ESPECIALLY if you're stupid-crazy. Wanna hunt? Sure, go nuts. But you don't need a pistol or an AR for that. Going to overthrow the government? Right, go ahead try it and get back to me on that too. Because someone is going to invade your home and take you hostage?

The ratio for 2012, per the Violence Policy Center, was one justifiable killing for every 32 murders, suicides or accidental deaths (the ratio increases to 38-1 over the five-year period ending in 2012). (LA Times)

Yeah the statistics don't support that. You're more likely to shoot a family member or just fuck up and shoot yourself instead. But hey, the GOP loves sucking NRA dick because John Wayne and Clint Eastwood ok?

What a fucking stupid way to govern.


Wanna know what's REALLY entertaining? Is that the people who stand to suffer the most actually voted for this.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- The Republican-controlled House voted on Friday to overturn an Obama administration rule that sought to reduce harmful methane emissions into the environment, part of the Democratic president's campaign to combat climate change.[..] The House vote followed action in the Senate earlier Friday ending an Obama-era regulation that requires oil and gas companies to disclose payments to foreign governments for mining and drilling.
The House and Senate also gave final approval this week to a measure that eliminates a rule to prevent coal mining debris from being dumped into nearby streams

This follows right on the heels of the GOP overturning rules to ensure that seniors with dementia aren't being used by people who need a clean name under which to buy a gun.

So let's see here, just a month in and energy industries can go back to spewing shit into the air, poisoning the water, keeping banks from wrecking the economy and minimizing the ability of felons to get their hands on guns purchased through our elderly who can't make decisions for themselves.

Boy oh boy that's just making America great ain't it? Well, not for anyone who lives near the pollution or shot by an illegal gun, but hey, dead people don't vote do they?

The GOP war on women has hit a milestone: it's now affecting women all over the world.
UNITED NATIONS (AP) -- President Donald Trump has massively expanded the ban on providing federal money to international groups that perform abortions, or provide abortion information, to all organizations receiving U.S. global health assistance.
The picture of Der Dickhead spoke volumes: a passle of old, wrinkled, white men passing judgement on women's abilities to control their bodies and their future. Out of touch, unsympathetic, these people decided that women who need health care are entitled to NONE.
groups in 60 countries receiving $9 billion in health assistance are now covered by the ban.
Women in 60 countries now will lose the ability to get screening for cancer, birth control, regular exams and counseling because tRump is president. I suppose it's better than his promise that women who seek an abortion should be incarcerated, but is death better than prison? Props to you tRump voter! Making the world better, safer and healthier! You can be PROUD!