Category: "Assholes On Parade"

Jun/22
2017

In ended in a mistrial but Cosby is celebrating as if he was acquitted. Now he wants to do a tour basically titled "Bitches are whores".

Embattled comic Bill Cosby plans to embark on a town hall-style speaking tour to educate young people about sexual assault allegations.

His spokespeople said on Thursday that due to changing laws, more young men will face sexual assault allegations.[..]

"This is why people need to be educated on - you know, a brush on the shoulder - you know, anything at this point can be considered sexual assault and it's a good thing to be educated about the laws," said Ms Benson, who is a spokeswoman for Mr Cosby's wife, Camille.

That's right Cammie, it was JUST a brush on the shoulder that 50 women accused your husband of, not say DRUGGING them and then RAPING them while they were only semiconscious. Delusional much bitch?

It's nice to know that money can buy silence and innocence for the really wealthy. It won't buy back your reputation though. Cosby is a rapist and predator. His career is over and no amount of explaining is going to help.

Go ahead and try though. Really.

Jun/18
2017

Under a lot of circumstances the back and forth would be absolutely fascinating, however not so here. At this point everyone is tired of a whiny, little, crybaby man who likes to play at being president.

une 18 (UPI) -- Jay Sekulow, an attorney for Donald Trump, on Sunday said the president is not being investigated for obstruction of justice.

"Let me be clear here," said Sekulow, a member of the president's legal team, on NBC's Meet The Press. "The president is not and has not been under investigation for obstruction."

On Friday morning, Trump posted on Twitter: "I am being investigated for firing the FBI Director by the man who told me to fire the FBI Director! Witch Hunt."

This constant begging for attention, no matter if it's good or bad, its tiresome. Like a spoiled toddler who breaks toys, demands new ones and pitches a tantrum on the floor in a shopping center to maximize embarrassment, Dickhead has ZERO interest in governing and 100% interest in himself.

That won't stop tRumpanzees and his staff from lauding him and sucking his dick in the most hitler-esque manner possible.

"On behalf of the entire senior staff around you, Mr. President, we thank you for the opportunity and the blessing that you've given us to serve your agenda and the American people." —WH Chief of Staff Reince Priebus at a cabinet meeting

Yes, you're serving the american people. Serving us cat-barf on a platter garnished with a puerile gravy of self-gratification. You can be so proud of yourself. Now just stfu, sit quietly in a corner and play with your interns mmmkay?

Jun/16
2017

The delusion is strong with this one. And voters in Iowa who seem to believe he represents them.

Republican congressman Steve King has blamed President Barack Obama for fuelling political divisions that led to an attack on Republican lawmakers.

Mr Obama "focused on our differences rather than our things that unify us", the Iowa Republican said. (BBC)

Apparently Stevie isn't at all disturbed by the anti-woman, anti-muslim, anti-colored people rhetoric spewed by the current dickhead in office. No, it's Obama's fault somehow. No evidence to support that, or rationale, just slinging the shit in hopes what it will stick. Of course he's pitching to his constituents who are people who haven't had enough of his prior brain-vomit quotes...

"This whole 'old white people' business does get a little tired, Charlie. I'd ask you to go back through history and figure out where are these contributions that have been made by these other categories of people that you are talking about? Where did any other subgroup of people contribute more to civilisation?" - on MSNBC, July 2016

Stevie believes that immigrants are all illegal, worthless, drug-toting mules, that blacks are responsible for all crime against blacks and that gay marriage means you can hook up with your lawnmower (something I'd dearly like to see with Stevie and Mrs. Lawnboy.) It's hard to believe there's any reason at all for such stupidity, or any reason that the press needs to cover it. About his only claim to fame is that if it's breathtakingly stupid and most people have the common sense not to believe it, Shitstain Steve will be it's sponsor.

Jun/13
2017

Like anyone would ever look at Asshole Alex and think "gosh he's hot, I want to fuck him."

NEW YORK (AP) -- Megyn Kelly defended her decision to feature "Infowars" host Alex Jones on her NBC newsmagazine despite taking heat Monday from families of Sandy Hook shooting victims and others, saying it's her job to "shine a light" on newsmakers.[..]

Jones also described Kelly as not feminine, cold and robotic.

"I felt zero attraction to Megyn Kelly," he said.

Hey Fuckface. You were there for an INTERVIEW not to slobber over the reporter doing the interview. Like anyone a) cares WHAT the fuck you think and b) doesn't know that Megyn could have her choice of whomever she wanted and c) doesn't already know that trolls like you look like Warhammer Orcs for a good reason... because you're fucking TROLLS.

Go hide shitstain. No one cares what you think, you're just a freak at a freakshow.

May/31
2017

Dickhead Donald is a fucking moron.

Exhibit a: Leaving the Paris Accord will create jobs.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- President Donald Trump has declared that abandoning the Paris climate agreement would be a victory for the American economy.

Many economists have big doubts

Like everything else, Dickhead is short on details. He just EXPECTS his underlings to make things work. Yeah that's great when the expectations are realistic and the worst that can happen is that someone loses a few million. It's not exactly the same when it's an entire nation and the future of the world, but hey, if Dickhead believes it, it must be true. Right tRumpanzees?

Exhibit b: Fuckhead can't even do a professional job of managing his own communications.

From being a sloppy slob with this cell phone to ignoring national security, Dickhead can't do ANYTHING that requires concentration. He doesn't care. He's having too much fun prancing about pretending he's in charge. The only thing he can do consistently is fuck things up, and after a certain point even that doesn't matter any more.

Out of desperation he's back to attacking Hillary because that's what made him popular in the first place. Go on Dickhead, keep going with the circuses because sooner or later we're all going to run out of bread.

May/17
2017

That's just soooo true in ALL the ways! But let's start with the fact factory first!

The U.S. official told AP that Trump shared details about an Islamic State terror threat related to the use of laptop computers on aircraft with Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov and Ambassador to the U.S. Sergey Kislyak. The official said the disclosure came as Trump boasted about his access to classified intelligence. An excerpt from an official transcript of the meeting reveals that Trump told them, "I get great intel. I have people brief me on great intel every day." (AP)

So Dickhead blurts out whatever comes to mind, this we already know because Twitter. But when it comes to national security there's a lot more on the line, not the least of which is the cooperation of our allies who probably won't be our allies for much longer. Not since Dickhead can't keep his fucking cakehole shut.

Also: "I get great intel" Goddamn you're a driveling moron, aint'cha? No wonder we keep seeing press releases of foreign dignitaries smiling, they're just doing their best to keep from rolling on the Presidential carpet.

Codeword: Adds a second level of clearance to Top Secret, so that only those cleared with the codeword can see it. Administered by the CIA. The material discussed by Mr Trump with the Russians was under a codeword, sources told the Washington Post (BBC)

Dickhead doesn't realize that he doesn't OWN the information, yes he may have the ability to declassify information, but I'm willing to bet that he still needs to go through a process not just decide at the drop of a hat to blab out information that is so highly classified that it has a unique code. But the Trumpanzees out there wanted change. They wanted an idiot in the office to PROVE to america that being smart isn't a criteria for being a lawmaker.

Boy, they're sure showing us. And the rest of the world.

And then there's the Whitehouse staff stuck with the job of shoveling out yet ANOTHER gargantuan pile of shit, pooped out by Dickhead, all over the carpet.

May 16 (UPI) -- President Donald Trump's national security adviser on Tuesday said the commander in-chief did not put U.S. intelligence operatives at risk by divulging information to Russian officials.

H.R. McMaster told reporters at a White House briefing that Trump could not have jeopardized national security because he didn't even know where the information came from.

"The president wasn't even aware of where this information came from," McMaster said. "He wasn't briefed on the source."

Ok who here sees the total failure of the statement above? Here's a hint: Not knowing a source doesn't mean that the information ISN'T still classified. And if Dickhead doesn't know the source, it's probably because his staff knows damn well they can't trust him with it.

It also doesn't mean that the Russians don't know the source, which they probably do.

Cold war? Nah, the Russians are going to save a fucking bundle, instead of having to hack into systems to get it, they can just walk into the Whitehouse and ask. Dos Vedanya Dickhead.

May/16
2017

Even Hitler had women who supported and aided his mission of murder and oppression, thus it's no surprise that there are women willing to turn a blind eye on Dickhead Donald's misogyny and hate for their own personal glory.

Trumpslut 1: Kunty Kara McCullough

Asked during Sunday's pageant in Las Vegas whether healthcare was a privilege or a right, Miss McCullough said: "I'm definitely going to say it's a privilege."

She added: "As a government employee, I'm granted healthcare and I see first hand that for one to have healthcare, you need to have jobs.(BBC)

Basically dying is for the poor, because only the rich should be able to afford to see a doctor. And this is Miss USA of today speaking. Of course Trumpanzees are delighted to hear her spouting "kill the poor" rhetoric, and are leaping to defend her as being "correct". Somehow this doesn't quite align with what are commonly touted as "good Christain" beliefs, but then we all know that the right loves the religious label but has zero interest in the actual meaning.

Trumpslut 2: Cheating, Husband Stealing Callista Gingrich

Because who wouldn't want an avowed adulterer as the US rep to Christianity?

WASHINGTON (AP) -- The Trump administration has approached the wife of former House Speaker Newt Gingrich to be the next U.S. ambassador to the Vatican

Well she's blonde, ambitious and probably gives good head. Too bad none of those are actual qualifications for representing a nation.

Yes Trumpsluts, demonstrating that looks and no brains IS the road to riches in the current political climate. I guess those would be the only women who could openly support a dickhead like donald.

May/09
2017

Introducing, once again, Texas, one of the shittiest, stupidest, most ignorant hate-state in the union.

AUSTIN, Texas (AP) -- State-funded adoption agencies backing Texas legislation that would sanction the rejection of prospective parents on religious grounds freely admit they already routinely deny non-Christian, gay, and unmarried applicants because they are wary of their beliefs or lifestyle.

Texas currently discriminates against potential adoptive parents who aren't white or christian or straight enough with total impunity. What they're afraid of is that the federal government will prevent their state-sponsored hate by insisting on the application of federal laws. So Texas wants to enshrine it's hate in law, under the guise of "protecting children" by denying them loving homes or parents that won't shove christianity and heterosexuality down kids throats.

Texas. The Shit Bag state. Yay!

Can we give it back to Mexico yet? Would they even take it?

May/08
2017

Apparently in Tennessee "equality" is only natural when it pertains to heterosexual couples. Even if the law states differently.

NASHVILLE, Tenn. (AP) -- Four married lesbian couples expecting children through artificial insemination are suing over a new Tennessee law that requires using the "natural and ordinary meaning" of words in state law.

I have no idea what the fuck "natural and ordinary" means. Basically it sounds like it could mean anything a person wanted it to. Not really a good, clear and fair way to implement laws. One person's "natural and ordinary" can mean something quite different than someone else's. In my world "spouse" doesn't have gender context, in trump-merca it means a neat loophole to discriminate.

Making shit up isn't really legal, but it won't stop the GOP from wasting taxpayer time and money on rhetorical arguments for the sake of getting re-elected.

Apr/28
2017

Well, bwawwwwwhhhh, Dickhead Donald is having a sad. Again. He thought being Supreme Ruler of the United States meant raping the US to make all the monies he never made because he's not rich enough already.

"This is more work than in my previous life," he said. "I thought it would be easier."

Mr Trump's comments on being president have been ridiculed on social media, with many quick to share their surprise at his, well, surprise.

Well Dicky, howsabout you go back to your day job of fucking off and stop fucking the US into a total catastrophe? I know it would certainly make the MAJORITY of citizen voters pretty goddamn happy.

Imagine that, being President is actually WORK. And this coming from the guy who's playing MORE golf and spending MORE time at his personal resort than any President ever dared.

tRump, president of the United States of tRUmp. Everyone else? Can go to hell.

Apr/21
2017

And what's more, women aren't PAID to be fucking scumbags either.


MEMPHIS, Tenn. (AP) -- A defense lawyer is being criticized for telling a Tennessee jury that women are "especially good" at lying "because they're the weaker sex."[..]
Farese told the newspaper that his job "is not to care if anybody gets offended" and "smart people will see it for what it is."

Yes, "women" are good at lying. They're born to it. They're not trained, or use it as part of their chosen profession.

Steve you're a total fucktard. I hope the "lying" women in your life help you understand where you went wrong, or, preferably, disown your misogynistic ass.

Apr/20
2017

Yep, another dick-brained excuse from yet another dick-brained GOP trog. Introducing *drum roll* Florida Fucktard Frank Artiles.


A Florida state senator has apologised to his African-American colleagues after insulting them and using a racial slur during a bar-room chat with them.
Miami Republican Frank Artiles spoke on the floor of the Florida Senate on Wednesday, saying "no one deserves to be spoken to like that".[..]
During Monday night's discussion, Mr Artiles reportedly sought to justify his use of the n-word, insisting he intended a slang pronunciation that he thought was not offensive. (BBC)

Because there's a RIGHT way to call someone a nigger? No, actually there's not. But there is a great way to lose all cred and get your ass removed from any serious discussion. Here's hoping Frankie loses his job for revealing what he really thinks about women and African-Americans.

And also hon, it's NOT ok to call a fellow senator a "bitch" to her face. Just in case that part was unclear...

Apr/06
2017

You voted for tRump, you voted for the end of friendships, the end of family differences, you voted for hate, intolerance and, most essentially and importantly, war. This is now open and angry and pits Americans against each other in a way that won't break for years, possibly generations.

Yes, it's "divided we fall" time.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- In a confrontation that could reshape the Supreme Court for generations, Republicans tore up the Senate's voting rules Thursday to allow Trump nominee Neil Gorsuch to ascend to the high court over furious Democratic objections.
Democrats denounced the GOP's use of what both sides dubbed the "nuclear option" to put Gorsuch on the court, calling it an epic power grab that would further corrode politics in Congress, the courts and the nation. Many Republicans bemoaned reaching that point, too, but they blamed Democrats for pushing them to it. [..]
But Democrats were unable to pull back from the brink, partly because they remain livid over McConnell's decision last year to block Obama's Supreme Court nominee, Judge Merrick Garland, who was denied even a hearing after the death of Justice Antonin Scalia in February 2016. Instead McConnell kept Scalia's seat open, a calculation that is now paying off for Republicans and Trump.

Yes the GOP is ready and willing to destroy whatever civility is left to have their way. These are the people ELECTED by americans who feel that "FUCK YOU" is the better response to a disagreement than compromise.

Ok, so that's how you want to play it? Fine. It's going to continue to play out that way down to the finest and smallest bonds, between relatives and friends.

You voted for hate. Don't cry to me when you get a face full of it.

Apr/06
2017

Yes that's FLOCKING not fucking, get your mind out of the gutter... wait no. Don't bother because that's where this post is going.

President Donald Trump has defended embattled Fox News host Bill O'Reilly amid reports of settlements with five women who sued him for harassment.
"I think he's a person I know well - he is a good person," Mr Trump told the New York Times on Wednesday from the White House, surrounded by his aides.
"I think he shouldn't have settled; personally I think he shouldn't have settled," the president added.
Dozens of advertisers have pulled commercials from The O'Reilly Factor.
"I don't think Bill did anything wrong," Mr Trump told the New York Times, adding that "he should have taken it all the way" to court.(BBC)

Well whaddaya know, ol' Dickhead Dopestick is coming to the defense of a fucknugget like himself. After the shriveled penis-faced O'Reilly put the mack on female coworkers and wound up paying for his misogyny, Dickhead thinks that "Bill is a good man". How christian of him! Yes propositioning women you work with and taking revenge when they don't let you fuck them is totally how this president rolls, hell the conservatard fan-club of Trumpanzees didn't even bat an eye when he boasted about grabbing women by the crotch just because he could. So, all in all, no surprise that DDT would go to bat for another fucknugget like himself AND tell Bill he should have taken it to court. Actually, going to court would have been awesome, because a) Bill would have had to pay court fees on top of everything else and b) the details of his douchebaggery would have been published.

tRumpmerica: where being non-white, non-christian and non-male makes you a criminal.

Apr/03
2017

I mean really, the very IDEA that a CONSERVATIVE news source would be offensive to women? I can hardly fathom it.

Car company Mercedes-Benz says it's pulling ads from Fox News' "The O'Reilly Factor" because of host Bill O'Reilly's sexual-harassment "controversy."
The New York Times reported over the weekend Fox News' parent company or O'Reilly have paid $13 million since 2012 to five women who said he sexually harassed or verbally abused them. (AP)

Sponsors have been leaving Faux News by the double handful. While it may be ok for conservatives (read: assholes) to malign women and use them as a target for hate and intolerance the REST of the civilized world does not. It's entertaining that american's are ok with slapping a bitch down, it's not only tolerated in much of the US it's actually CELEBRATED with southern and mid-western women happily leading the parade of hate against their own sisters.

Well, guess not everyone sees it their way and ultimately money talks.

DDT has done the world a favor, with semi-closeted shitbags like O'Reilly thinking that their type of fuckbaggery is now welcome, only to find that it's welcome to a very SELECT audience. Well then, you've made your choice, hope you enjoy it. I know I certainly am.

Mar/31
2017

Rocket Ryan

There's a two-fer in this quote, see if you can figure it out before you read the rest of my post.

On Wednesday evening Speaker Ryan was asked what he thought of Mr Trump reaching out to Democrats on healthcare reform.
"I don't want that to happen," he said. "You know why? I want a patient-centred system. I don't want government running healthcare.
"The government shouldn't tell you what you must do with your life, with your healthcare. We should give people choices." On Thursday morning Bob Corker, a Republican senator from Tennessee, gave the speaker a stinging rebuke. "We have come a long way in our country when the speaker of one party urges a president NOT to work with the other party to solve a problem," he tweeted. (BBC)

Figured it out? Great, let's crosscheck.

First, "I don't want government running healthcare. The government shouldn't tell you what you must do with your life, with your healthcare. We should give people choices." Unless? That's right! Unless you're a WOMAN in which case the government MUST tell you what to do with you live and TAKE AWAY any choices.

Second, "Speaker Ryan was asked what he thought of Mr Trump reaching out to Democrats on healthcare reform... "I don't want that to happen." Ok, so that was an obvious gimme, it was already spelled out by one of their own as fucking stupid, but it still spells out exactly what's going on here: the GOP fundamentally care about how sound, viable, reasonable or useful their policies are. They want to "pass legislation" to rack up points, not actually govern. They want power and to keep themselves in power, at the cost of everyone and anyone who gets in their way. Rocket Ryan only has one mission: keep control of the majority, get GOP candidates elected, regardless of quality or sanity.

Public interest in mind? Oh please. As if.

Mar/30
2017

Hey Bill, I wouldn't go criticizing someone else's hair when you don't fucking have any.

Black women are sharing their experiences of prejudice in the workplace, using the Twitter hashtag #BlackWomenatWork, after Fox News host Bill O'Reilly made fun of a black congresswoman's hair.
O'Reilly has since apologised for saying in a Fox & Friends clip that he didn't hear a word of a speech Maxine Waters delivered at the House of Representatives because he was too distracted by "the James Brown wig". (BBC)

Bill, bill, bill. You're just an asshole like the rest of the conservatards right? At a loss for words you lash out, mocking a woman because it's "funny." What's not funny about demeaning an educated black woman? It's your natural instinct, revealing the crass nature of the right-wing mentality: Women are garbage, non-white women are even less than that.

Fuck you bill. You're a withered, dickless, brainless, egotistical, inflated, self-aggrandizing, loathsome, shitbag of a presenter. I'm sorry you can't respect a successful woman, sorrier that there's actually other shitbags out there who support you. It's the worst this nation has to offer and you're their king.

So take your "apology" and fucking shove it. Maxine doesn't have time for your brand of stupid. She has better things to do, like run this country.