Rou

Today let me mention a few of the automotive peeves that have been driving me nuts recently. Every so often they boil up and make me want to run people over. And since my girlfriend insists that doing so would be illegal, let me scream about it here for a bit.

First thing. The left lane is the FAST lane. Also known as the passing lane. You do NOT need to be in this lane if there are long lines of traffic stacked up behind you, and streaming around you on the right. Additionally if you are not going the speed limit, and there isn’t a traffic jam causing all traffic to slow down, the left lane… not for you. Move to the right. It’s a simple rule, but following it will lead to a happier drive for everyone. Maybe if the rule isn’t enough, you should consider possible consequences and punishments. There are some crazy people out there. I mean, maybe you’re going home one day and someone is tailgating your ass all the way home. And maybe they pull up behind you and bashing your larynx in with a baseball bat. Just saying. It could happen. And maybe you want to consider that before you slow down in the fast lane.

Second thing, switching lanes. This is simple too. You decide to change lanes, either in traffic or moving into a turning lane. Whatever, doesn’t matter. Once you decide to do so, there are simple steps. Check mirrors to make sure it’s clear. Glance over the appropriate should to verify the blind spots are clear. Blinker correctly. Then, and this seems to be the tricky part… MOVE THE FUCK OVER! Don’t meander over. Don’t slowly slide. Don’t get halfway over and then pause for a second. GET THE FUCK INTO THE OTHER FUCKING LANE MOTHER FUCKER.

Third, I know you’re out there. For lack of a better term, I’ll call you ‘inchers’. You get to a red light and stop. Then, for not particular reason, you being inching forward. Slowly, unperceivable at first, but slowly moving forward. The light is still red. The cross direction is still green. But you’re moving forward. By the time the light actually does change, you’re a full car length into the intersection. I don’t get it. How does that somehow help you? Red means stop bitch.

That’s it for now. It’s enough to calm the enraged Rou. For the moment. So I probably won’t be out there with a baseball bat.

Probably.