Rou

For the last 45 minutes, I’ve been listening to a coworker complaining about her husband of 5 years. Apparently, she found his porn folder. Horrors of horrors it contained… pictures of naked women. She’s horrified. She feels betrayed. She thought about calling out sick today so she could try to get a grip on herself (her words; my pun). She’s nearly broken into tears a few times so far. She thinks he doesn’t love her. That he thinks she’s ugly. She’s afraid that he’s doing the 5 knuckle shuffle because he doesn’t want her anymore. She thinks it’s the same as cheating on her

Oh, it makes my head hurt.

It’s ok to look at porn. I swear. If it’s not your cup of tea, that’s fine. But there is a leap I’ve never really understood: why does one person’s desire to look at porn somehow detract from the relationship with the partner?

Now, I’ll give the caveat that there are people with ‘porn addictions’ that do have a serious problem in their relationship. But just watching porn or enjoying porn doesn’t mean that they hate you. It could be that they just felt like flogging the bishop or doing the two fingered tango (equal opportunity here) for a few minutes. Of course, I suppose anyone that has a problem with porn may not like pounding the pud much either.

I enjoy watching porn. I have a nice collection. It’s fun. It’s happy. It’s HARMLESS. So is wanking. I’ll take sex over it anytime though. But shaking hands with Mr. Happy from time to time never hurt anyone

So lady, sooner or later you’ve got to come to grips (haha) with the fact that your husband enjoys a perfectly normal pastime. And it doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you or isn’t attracted to you. It means he likes to look at naked women. Maybe strangle the serpent some. It also doesn’t come CLOSE to being unfaithful. Trust me when I say there is a WORLD of difference between the two. Rosie and her five sisters aren’t the same as picking up a bar slut and taking her to a motel.

I suggest you step back, and talk about it with your husband. I doubt you’ll get him to stop. Possible, but unlikely. More likely that he’ll just hide it better. But it’s important to let him know your feelings on it so both of you can understand each other. Mostly, I think you need to get over it.

PS: I don’t even want to think about the number of times I typed pron instead of porn and had to fix it. And yes, I was trying to work in as many euphemisms as possible is such a small article!