Rou

I have a hard time explaining sometimes. I’ve told some of my friends. I told my girlfriend. But I really don’t think I can really convey it.

High school sucked. A lot of teens say that, so it gets drown out in the noise. But for me, it really did suck. I lost count of the number of times I was beat up in 6th through 8th grade. It was a lot. I remember getting suspended for it once, because the bully (6’1”, 210lbs), caught in the act of kicking me while I was down, claimed I started it (5’5” 125lbs). By the way, for any reading in similar situations, make friends with the heavy metal, biker guys. It made high school somewhat easier.

I remember being told that I needed to find Jesus and get my life in line with his plan for me. By teachers as well as students. I remember taking 20 minutes of assignment time in physics class to be preached at by other students about the perils of being outcast in society if I didn’t tow the line. I remember the rocks thrown at me from across the football field during gym class with whatever insult they felt like adding to them. I remember losing myself in heavy metal music every morning on my drive to school just to prepare myself for the trials of the upcoming day, and to unwind at the end. I remember sitting alone in my room with a knife wondering if today was the last straw. I remember thinking that the best way to end my life would be to take as many of them with me as I could.

By senior year, I began to revel in being ostracized. I took freak as a compliment. Smiled and laughed as they insulted me. Fought back, and usually won (thanks Dad both for believing me and teaching me how to fight dirty), when they came after me. When my chemistry teacher started in on me, I responded by lecturing her on the perils of telling a student about what religious views he should have. I recall telling the Catholic students about the perils of assuming that their God would stop me from causing them great physical pain. I recall telling them in no uncertain terms that if damnation meant escaping them for eternity, I welcomed the hellfire.

They were vile people. Brought up that way by vile parents. Fortified by vile teachers. And it made me sick. In a graduating class of 200, I can honestly call none of them friends. A few fellow misfits. I won’t miss any of them.

I tried to skip graduation but my mother wouldn’t hear of it. I threw my yearbook away. Mom saved it. I told her I’d burn it if I ever got my hands on it. 10 years later, I stand by that.

I have done a good job of trying to forget that place. Today, it all came rushing back when I loaded up Fark to read my daily does of hilarious news.

There was a story on my school. It was a story about a Jewish student who suffered at the hands of her fellow students. Apparently her experience demonstrated the same tolerance that I had come to expect. She was left alone in class while the rest went to bible study. There were numerous school prayers (separation? Not in God’s country!). Numerous class assignments to discuss Christianity, but no other religion.

Complaints did not fall on deaf ears. It might have been better if they had. Her parents attempted to talk to the school board, but received little feedback. Afterwards, they were called on the phone several times and informed that the KKK was around and watching.
A former board member suggested that the mother might "disappear" like Madalyn Murray O'Hair, the atheist whose Supreme Court case resulted in ending organized school prayer. O'Hair disappeared in 1995 and her dismembered body was found six years later.

The final infamy came on graduation day. A day I’m sure she was excited about turned to ash. The pastor, in his invocation, issued the following statement.

I also pray for one specific student, that You be with her and guide her in the path that You have for her. And we ask all these things in Jesus' name.

Since then, the family has moved away. The father still lives there, because he needs the job, but the mother and children now live over two hours away. The threats scared them away.

Now, the school board says these are all lies. They have made claims saying the entire thing is made up.

I’ve lived through my hell there. I don’t have any trouble seeing the account as true. Maybe it did, maybe it didn’t. But if I had to bet, I’d say it did. Every word.

I’ll carry my scars for life. With time, I’ll forget. I’ll haze over it. I’ll put it out of my mind. The four years that were supposed to be my greatest, are just a stretch of time I do my best to forget. But from time to time, stories such as this will cause it to all rush back. My anger and hared for them have been pushed into the background, but I don't really think the fires have dulled over the course of a decade.

To my young Jewish friend, I can only offer you this. It will get better. The rest of the world is not like those bigots down there. Be strong. Don’t be afraid to approach new people. They’re not all vile. Don’t let the minds of small people hold you back from your true potential.