Rou

My life is complicated. Well, not really. But there are aspects of it that are not obvious to outside observers.

I've been dating the love of my life for a long time. In about 2 weeks, it'll be nine years. The first four years or so was back in college. We’ve been living together for most of the time, to one degree or another.

That’s a long time. Well beyond the time most people stop dating and get married.

This isn’t to say we’re not committed to each other. Nor should it imply that we don’t want to get married. We do. We’ve discussed it many times, and I’ve asked her to marry me several times. She always says sure, but we never really get around to doing anything about it. There are a lot of reasons for that. I don’t particularly want to go into them, but let’s just say there are a number of issues that have helped us procrastinate. Not because we don’t want to, but because we consider the whole affair damned annoying.

Now, for the cheap seats, I’m going to say it real loud and clear.

NO! I DO NOT KNOW WHEN WE’RE GETTING MARRIED. NOR DO I FEEL LIKE LISTENING TO YOUR OPINION OF HOW LONG WE’VE BEEN DATING.

Thank you. Additionally

NEITHER OF US HAS EXPRESSED ANY DESIRE FOR CHILDREN, SO BACK THE FUCK OFF ALREADY

All clear? Good.

I don’t know why people feel the need to talk to me about this time and time again. I don’t feel pressured to get married. I don’t particularly feel that a ceremony will somehow make our relationship different in anything but legal status. Our commitment is already as cemented as it will ever be.

As for the child issue, I’m closer to 30 every day and damn if I feel like I’m mature enough to raise a child. Plus, they’re a serious hassle! And I’ve been told that should we find ourselves saddled with a tiny monster, it might be a good idea to cut back on drinking. And frankly, that’s a deal breaker for both of us!

Back on point, I’m tired of it. Don’t tell me what to do. Don’t offer snide comments about your preconceived notions of how a relationship should work and when I’m supposed to ‘move along to the next level’. No, I don’t actually think it’s just a matter of time before we start really wanting a child.

Thank you for you opinion. Next time you feel the need to offer it to me, consider me well informed on the issue and capable of making my own choices. Also, consider that the next time I hear this crap; I’m going to spend the entire conversation contemplating the best way to smash your larynx in.