Rou

SO, I got this email glurge from one of my friends. For some reason, he just doesn’t understand that I don’t pass them along to five of my friends. In fact, I very rarely do much more than look at the title before pressing the delete key.

For some reason, something about the title made me open it. I wish I hadn’t. I really do. Because now, I’m ranting about it. And despite my love of ranting, I would honestly prefer not to have a reason.

So, what did it say? Well, it told me to prove I’m an atheist. At this point, I cocked an eyebrow and moved forward, curious to see how the intended to prove something like a religious belief, or lack thereof.

The basic premise is that if you’re an atheist, you’ll have no problem standing up and saying the Lord’s Prayer loudly and clearly. Doesn’t have to be in a crowded room or anything. Just the next time you’re alone, say it out loud three times. The idea, I’m assuming, is that if you’re an atheist, they’re just meaningless words and you shouldn’t have a problem saying it.

And since that is just a collection of words, they suggest you follow that up with the following, also three times:

SATAN, IN THE NAME OF JESUS, I COMMAND YOU TO LEAVE MY MIND, BODY, LIFE, AND SOUL TODAY IN THE NAME OF JESUS!
YOU HAVE NO DOMINION OVER MY LIFE!
I SUBMIT MY BODY, LIFE, AND SOUL TO GOD, IN THE NAME OF JESUS!
THE BLOOD OF JESUS! THE BLOOD OF JESUS! THE BLOOD OF JESUS AGAINST YOU SATAN!
I APPLY THE BLOOD OF JESUS OVER MY LIFE!
I APPLY THE BLOOD OF JESUS OVER WHERE I LIVE AT!
I APPLY THE BLOOD OF JESUS OVER MY FAMILY!
I DO IT ALL IN THE NAME OF JESUS
THE BLOOD OF JESUS! THE BLOOD OF JESUS! THE BLOOD OF JESUS AGAINST YOU SATAN!
IN JESUS NAME I CALL IT DONE! AMEN AND AMEN!
IN JESUS CHRIST'S HOLY NAME I PRAY, AMEN!

Now, I made several attempts to describe to you the amount of eye rolling I did upon reading those words. There just aren’t words. If you can figure out some way of describing your reaction, I welcome it. I’m simply unable to capture it into words. What the hell is with the Blood of Jesus bit in there anyway? Seems a little overused in there. Maybe it’s just me.

Anyway, back to the rant, I’m curious how saying or refusing to say those two chants would offer any effective prove of religious beliefs. I mean, from a generic stand point, an atheist that stands up and spouts those two little ditties hasn’t proven his atheism. In fact, anyone hearing him might incorrectly assume he’s found religion, if only briefly. And there is always the problem that some people, even atheists, have a problem with screaming vows and prayers into the heavens that they don’t believe. Not because they’re afraid that God will smite them down for it, but because they consider it a LIE.

Finally, who gives a rat’s ass anyway? Prove you’re an atheist? That’s just about as reasonable as proving someone is Christian. Sure, he says he is and goes to Church, but it could all be a clever ruse. He could be a Buddhist, but you never know. He could be faking it. Why would we assume atheists are any less sure of their beliefs? If someone tells me they don’t believe in God, I tend to believe them, much like I believe those that tell me they believe in Allah, God, or Zeus. You believe what you believe.

There is no proof. And even if there was, I sincerely doubt it would take the form or reading prayers (and whatever that other thing was) out loud.