Rou

I moved into my house last summer. I was very pleased. Things were great. One downside: despite moving less than 3 miles, I could not transfer my old number to my new place. So, I had to get a new number. A minor irritation, but it wasn’t a huge deal.

However, we’re coming around to summer time again. Almost a full year in my new home with my new number.

And I’m still getting calls for this bitch. Carol. I hate you. I hate you so much, that mere words can not convey my loathing. I can only hope that hell exists, and that you have reservations.

You see, Carol had her service turned off. I’m sure that this happened just as many other such bills went unpaid by Carol. Because day after day, call after call, company after company calls here looking for you. Credit cards of all shapes and sizes. Garbage company. Credit cards. Cabinet makers. Carpet centers. Collection agencies. Did I mention credit card companies? Because they call a lot.

8am. 9am. Noon. 6pm. 8pm. All hours of the day or night. For full effect, remember that I work a rotating day and night schedule, and even days that I don’t work, often stay up very late drinking. Now, consider that 8am call again.

For months now, I’ve been telling them as calmly as possible that no, Carol does not live here, because this number has been reassigned. I neither know her, nor where she lives. It was assigned to me by the phone company randomly. No I don’t have her new number. Believe me when I tell you that it’s in Carol’s best interest not to let me know where she lives.

The worst part about these calls is that they are very pleasant people for the most part. I realize they’re doing their job. I also realize that despite their assurances to the contrary, they do no ‘update the database’ to reflect the number change. I know that because they call again days later. Fundamentally, I understand that logic, as many debtors dodge phone calls. But after 8 months of hearing the same song and dance from me, do you think you could maybe take a chance and believe me?

Please?

Additional side note to the person I bought my house from. It’s common practice to leave a forwarding address either with the new owner, or via the post office. Without it, I think you should know that I throw your mail away. On a good day, I’ll drop it back in the mailbox with a “doesn’t live here” mark, but for the most part, you should consider that mail as lost. Except for that porn catalog. My girlfriend laughed for nearly an hour about the products in that.