Rou

Ok, not really. In truth, I clawed my eyes out. Or maybe I should have seared them with hot irons.

You see, as a youthful male, I have ventured out onto the internet for the purposes of gathering and viewing pornography. For years, I've done this. I remember when the internet was young and the porn was normal. And men the world round rejoiced, for no longer did we have to go into seedy back rooms of video stores, or into even seedier adult stores. And teenage boys cheered for they could get it just by clicking that they were 18!

Soon, it became the big business of the internet. The seedy underside that wasn’t hidden anymore. And people were ok with that. Sure, the occasional morally police would scream, but eh… screw them.

But as time passed, I came across more and more odd sites. There were always a handful of truly bizarre sex sites, but they became more and more frequent, while at the same time becoming totally batshit crazy.

Time and again, I would click an otherwise normal enough link and find my self scarred. Soon, even the simplistic WHAT THE FUCK™ could no longer contain the oddity on the screen before me. There are certain things man should never see and most of them are on the internet somewhere.

Take for example, a site that has bible porn. That’s right, it contains stories and drawings of David and ‘Goliath’. Or Mary Magdalene pulling a train. John the Baptist getting a golden shower. Jesus loving his fellow man. Truly fucked up stuff. The people inside my brain are scrubbing it away with steel wool.

What about stories about professional hockey players. Normal enough, right? Not my cup of tea, but hey, it’s reasonable for someone to be into it. Until you change all the stories to those same hockey players being pregnant. Then things get fucked up. I don't want to know where the baby eventually comes out. Lucky for me, I'm adept at clicking the back button to leave a page.

What about an entire full length movie that is entirely made up of men in pterodactyl costumes in a giant orgy. Once again, the bizzaro meter seems confused. I mean, I suppose I could accept this as just odd... but who the hell can watch such a thing and not spend half the time laughing. Not really useful as porn that way, is it? Comedy maybe, but not porn.

I’m never one be a prude. Nor do I have an aversion to people enjoying the things they enjoy. I don’t get a kick out of most of the odd fetishes out there, but I thing people should enjoy what they want to enjoy.

All that, without even getting into the illegal variety of porn. Or the stuff made in Japan, which I think truly deserves it’s own category of odd.But I have to say, there are some sections of the internet that are just truly bizarre. And disturbing.

I don’t know. This rant doesn’t really have a point. Just a mindless (closed for cleaning) babbling about the occasional web site that has left my inner child weeping in the corner.