Rou

Birthday parties are a fun tradition. Almost everyone has good memories from them growing up. A few bad too, but generally the idea is a good one.

There are a lot of traditions associated with these parties. Pin the tail on the donkey. Clowns. Magicians. Streamers. Balloons. Cake, ice cream. All kinds of stuff that is good and wholesome. Not everyone does all of those things. Most people skip a lot of it. But that are all associated with childhood parties

Another one is the piñata. It’s a great time for children. You blindfold the little bastards, give them a bat, spin them around and tell them to whack it. Once they break it, everyone gets candy. What could be more fun for little kids?

Turns out, there are evil people in the world that apparently hate the idea of piñatas. They have spent their evil thoughts and spiteful minds on destroying the tradition. They came up with the following idea: A pull piñata. Basically, they attached a bunch of strings to the piñata. One of the strings opens the piñata. Take turns pulling until candy is released.

What the mother fucking hell. I mean god damn people. This is a fucking staple of growing up. If you don’t want your children to have the ‘violent’ piñata, throw candy on the floor and walk away. There is no fucking reason to fuck with the piñata concept here. Jesus fuck Christ on a fucking pogo stick. The candy is good, but half the fun is hitting the damn thing. What's the mother fucking point if you take that way?

If you don’t want your spawn to enjoy the 'whacking with a stick' fun… that’s fine. Don’t have one. Many a party has gone fine without them. But these crappy imitations are a mockery of the idea. A mockery of the tradition. And what the fuck... let them hit something with a stick! Fucking pull strings. I swear.