Abba Zabba

So last night I was in the liquor store, buying stuff to take on a camping trip this weekend. One of our group is a girl who doesn't drink beer, only girly drinks. So I was forced to look in the dreaded "malternative" cooler. And that's where I found the worst product ever.

Smirnoff Source. It's pure spring water, plus alcohol, and a small amount of flavoring. Yes, it's just watered-down vodka. And they expect people to pay for that. I can't imagine any environment in which this drink is necessary. Presumably it's aimed at people in clubs, but clubs have bars, and bars can give you a shot of vodka in a glass of water if you want. Of course, nobody has ever in the history of the universe ordered a shot of vodka in a glass of non-sparkling water, but that didn't stop the geniuses at Smirnoff from putting that in a bottle.

A couple years ago, I had a similar reaction to "Nice and Easy" vodka, which was only 60 proof. It was just regular vodka, watered down slightly. But in retrospect, that makes at least a little sense, if you want weak drinks but don't want to mess with the proportions. Flavored alcoholic spring water, on the other hand, is just moronic.