Abba Zabba

Yes, that's right, I won Time's "Person of the Year" award. The cover of this week's Time magazine has a little plastic mirror on it. Because apparently, "You" is the Person of the Year.

That's so lame! Time has had this award since 1927. They used to give the award to actual people: Hitler, Gandhi, Churchill. Then they started giving it to groups, like "The Middle Class" and "Young People", in the 1960s. In the 1980s Time completely stopped trying, awarding PERSON of the year to "The Computer" and "The Earth".

But none of those are as lame as "You". That's not a person! That's not even a group! It's barely even a concept. If Time doesn't want to actually give a Person of the Year award, nobody's making them. Next year, if they can't come up with an actual person or small group to honor, they should just skip the whole thing. Because "You" is just stupid.