Abba Zabba

Over the weekend, I had to go to the Apple store in a nearby mall, because my girlfriend's new Macbook is having some problems. (Her old Apple laptop had problems too. For a company with such a good reputation, Apple seems to have some quality control problems.) I'm not a big fan of Apple in general, but I really hate the Apple store.

There are a lot of things to hate about the Apple store. Like the way half the floorspace is devoted to iPods and iPod accessories. There are way too many iPod accessories on the market. Or the unnecessary "i-" prefix in front of every product on the shelves. Or the cacophony that results when the sounds of a dozen iPod stereos set to a dozen different songs mix with the music from the overhead speakers, the sounds of the kids' computer games, and the technical demonstration in the back of the room. But I'm specifically going to focus my rage on the Apple support technicians.

Oh, but they aren't just technicians. They're geniuses! Yes, the tech support area of an Apple store is called the "Genius Bar." Actually, it might be the "iGenius Bar"; I can't remember. Unlike other stores, you can't just walk up and ask for support. The geniuses are too busy to be bothered! Instead, you get to put your name into a computer system and wait over an hour for the privilege of having a genius ask you about your problem. Even if it's a problem with the Apple hardware, a problem caused by the rest of the geniuses at Apple. During about half of that wait time, you get to watch the geniuses stand around, talk to their friends, and generally not try very hard to get through the list of people waiting for support. But I guess Apple can't be too hard on them, otherwise they'll quit. And it's not easy to find more geniuses.