Abba Zabba

Well, Christmas time is here again. (And no, it's not "holiday" time. There are other holidays in the winter, but Christmas blows them all away.) It's my least favorite time of the year for many, many reasons. I'm sure I'll go into more details in other whiny anti-Christmas posts in the coming weeks. But right now I want to complain about Christmas advertising. Specifically, the ads for luxury goods.

First, the jewelery commercials. You know the formula: Happy couple sits near a Christmas tree. The woman opens a gift-wrapped package, pulls out a necklace, smiles, and kisses the man. A voiceover says something like "Show you really love her with the gift of a diamond necklace." The obvious implication is that if you give anything less valuable then a diamond necklace, you don't really love her. I know that this is the season for materialism, but I still find that offensive. And it unreasonably raises expectations for the 99% of women who aren't going to get any diamonds for Christmas.

But not as much as the Christmas ads I really hate. They're for some luxury car brand, usually Lexus. After some setup, the man brings his wife outside to reveal her Christmas present: A brand new car, sitting in the garage or driveway, with a big red bow on top! (I assume that Lexus gives you a free red bow with purchase.) And, of course, the wife is always happy. She loves when her husband uses their shared bank account to make big purchases without consulting her. She especially loves that she didn't get to pick the model of the car, take a test drive, or even choose the color. It's best when women just let men make all these decisions for them. Treating a woman like she can't think for herself is always the best way to show your love. It's even better than jewelry.