Archives for: "May 2010"

May/31
2010

Blind Penises

BP is at it again. This time trying to deny (for now) the existence of underwater plumes of oil. Some plumes have been identified as being over 20 miles long, and yet... BP says they don't exist. Well maybe they don't, in *their* world. WASHINGTON (AP)… more »
May/31
2010
Only two states are holding out against a national standard for textbooks. Guess which those two are... The superintendent has noted that if all 50 states were to approve national education standards, appropriate textbooks would be easier to find. Only… more »
May/31
2010
It's not really an ode, because that would be long, tedious and cumbersome. It's more an explanation of the situation Justin finds himself in and a big, fat thumbs up. So here's the scoop. Our boy parks his car outside his apartment complex where he has… more »
May/30
2010
The Taliban believe in religion above all. Wherein God says, they do, no matter the context or common sense of the matter. They believe it is apostatic to shave your beard, allow women to read, enjoy music or movies. Men must carry guns. Women should be… more »
May/29
2010
The funny thing is that if you scale back the calamity to normal human terms the actions of BP in the spill disaster are completely incomprehensible. Here, let me illustrate: Her: "Honey! The handle broke on the tub! The water is overflowing!" Him:… more »
May/29
2010
It all started with an Op-piece in the Times health section entitled: "Can Oral Sex Cause Herpes?" Useful bits of information for the millions of herpes sufferers. For most people it was just common sense confirmation that it's retarded to eat someone… more »
May/29
2010
the affluent Albany, NY, suburb of Loudonville (in the Town of Colonie) has nixed Verizon's plan to put a cell tower in a bell tower at a church. Citizens complained that the tower would have been out of character with the "historic" community. Others… more »
May/28
2010
I have read enough comments on news articles and blogs that essentially say that it is selfish of a woman to terminate a pregnancy. This may be true in some situations, but I think the opposite is true in many others. Consider a pregnant woman on public… more »
May/28
2010
At a symposium on gaming, Daphne Bavelier, an assistant professor in the department of brain and cognitive science at the University of Rochester said: "People that play these fast-paced games have better vision, better attention and better cognition,"… more »
May/27
2010
The Heisenberg uncertainty principle states that it is impossible to determine both the position and velocity of an electron at the same instance in time. I'm sure there's a much less famous but more common demonstration of a corollary to this that… more »
May/27
2010
Oh la, la, the froggies are back at it again, this time protesting the raise of retirement from 60 to 61. PARIS (AP) -- Strikes across France delayed flights, closed schools and frustrated commuters Thursday as hundreds of thousands of workers protested… more »
May/27
2010
The concluding paragraph says it all... When a hierarchy of mostly aging men pounce on and excommunicate a revered nun who was merely trying to save a mother’s life, the church seems to me almost as out of touch as it was in the cruel and debauched days… more »
May/27
2010
I have placed three orders over the past 3 months for various parts for my computer. I typically place the orders fairly late at night, say about 10 pm. Each order has gotten here the day after the next day. In other words, less than 48 hrs. All I have… more »
May/26
2010
TALLAHASSEE, Fla. (AP) -- Marco Rubio wants Americans to work longer and retire later to places like Florida, a stand that has drawn criticism from his Senate rivals and unnerves some in the Sunshine State where one out of every seven residents gets a… more »
May/26
2010
WHEATLAND, N.Y. (AP) -- Police say four upstate New York teenagers who tried to hold their breath for the time it took their car to go a third of a mile were hurt when the driver fainted. Authorities say three 19-year-old men and a 16-year-old boy were… more »
May/25
2010
Who are these two goons? They're nobodies really, but they published an Op-ed piece in the NY Times advocating that college degrees should be completed in three years. Anything more, they propound, is a waste of time and money. Oh really? I guess from… more »
May/25
2010

Reunion? No.

Dear High School Class, It's come that time again. Every five years, you feel compelled to track me down again. Facebook friend requests. Calling my mother and getting my phone number and address. The follow up calls, emails and letters. The last… more »
May/24
2010
In New York, the son of a former governor joined up coming gubernatorial race. He obviously hopes to follow in King Mario's footsteps. Currently, Prince Andrew is the New York Attorney General. Running for successively higher offices is common among… more »
May/24
2010
I'm not talking about leave in the City of Lights or an invasion. Rather, Paris Hilton is going to join the GSO in welcoming the troops to fleet week in New York City. There is a plan to distribute mp3 players with GSO songs and additional storage to… more »
May/24
2010
ROSEVILLE, Mich. (AP) -- Hooters is being served with a lawsuit by a former Detroit-area employee who says she was told to agree to lose weight or lose her job. Cassandra Smith says Hooters violated Michigan law when it placed her on 30-day weight… more »
May/24
2010
Filed under: "Self-Solving"... WINFIELD, Mo. (AP) -- Mexican drug smugglers are increasingly peddling a form of ultra-potent heroin that sells for as little as $10 a bag and is so pure it can kill unsuspecting users instantly, sometimes before they even… more »
May/23
2010
Sigh. Would someone please explain to me why this is a necessary preoccupation of our lawmakers in Washington? ''There's a great urgency here. We have to make sure that no parent is unaware that drop-side cribs could kill their children,'' Sen. Kirsten… more »
May/23
2010
It's hard to imagine how the Arabs were once an intellectual powerhouse when their decedents produced idiots like this. RIYADH, Saudi Arabia (AP) -- A senior cleric has urged the Saudi government to uphold a ban on women's sports in the kingdom in the… more »
May/22
2010
And now, taking first place in the "awww, did-oo-fawl-down-an-go-boom?" category (please cue the itty-bitty violin) we have the EU with "What do you mean the financial crisis threatens our lifestyle?" Take it away gents! Crisis Imperils Liberal Benefits… more »
May/21
2010
She claims to be a preacher, the "First Female Apostle", and someone with the capability to "see" demonic possession. The net results of her accusations is that children are burned with acid, scorched with fire or abandoned. And yet, she doesn't see a… more »
May/20
2010
The Chinese are really at the end of their sanity in Tibet. Next up, regulating toilet paper because well, you know, intellectuals need to wipe their asses too. And if they can't get toilet paper then maybe they won't leave the house and stir up… more »
May/20
2010
No I don't mean in terms of gasoline quality, I mean the simple fact that Shell puts it's V-Power all the way to the right, Citgo it's Super-unleaded all the way to the left and Sunoco (bless their little blue hearts) has four buttons but puts 94 at the… more »
May/20
2010
My motorcycle is sexy. In fact I'd say it defines sexy to look at it. It's got a svelte shape. Racy, clean lines. It's a mechanical chicane of slickness. One thing that makes its lines so beautifully unbroken is the fact that the muffler is tucked… more »
May/20
2010
If only they'd known where they were going... LITTLE FERRY, N.J. (AP) -- Officials say a mix-up led a school bus driver in northern New Jersey to start to take students to an amusement park instead of school. About 30 Ridgefield Park High School… more »
May/20
2010
This isn't the first time it's happened so I know there's some evil, semi-hidden motivation behind the ploy. The beef I have (well, ok, one of many but it's the main one) is that motorcyclists are being treated differently than other vehicles on the… more »
May/19
2010
NAIROBI, Kenya (AP) -- The mother of a Somali pirate who pleaded guilty to charges of hijacking a U.S.-flagged ship and kidnapping its captain appealed to President Barack Obama on Wednesday to pardon her son and grant him citizenship. Well, she gets a… more »
May/19
2010
I saw the quote originally on the New York Times article on the pharma giant losing their lawsuit - a cool $250 million award to the women they abused. The funny thing? Between this afternoon and tonight, the quote was removed from the article. "...he… more »
May/19
2010
The babies are going to die, the elephant babies that is. All because that Douchebag Dictator Mugabe wants to "gift" the only tyrant worse than him. HARARE, Zimbabwe (AP) -- Wildlife authorities in Zimbabwe on Wednesday defended selling two baby… more »
May/19
2010
Ah the refrain, the same old refrain: those that preach the loudest never fail to disappoint. WASHINGTON (AP) -- A woman who worked with Indiana Rep. Mark Souder to prepare videos on the virtues of family values and abstinence has resigned after the… more »
May/19
2010
What does a brainless twat do when she's got too many babies to feed and no job and no talent? Stump for a cause that's what! And what better cause than one she knows a lot about: over-breeding. LA HABRA, Calif. (AP) -- It's official. Octuplets mother… more »
May/19
2010
In response to a Los Angeles City Council's motion to suspend all business with Arizona, a member of the Arizona Corporation Commission has "offered" to work with Arizona power producers to liberate Los Angeles from receiving Arizona's electricity. It… more »
May/19
2010
Mexican president criticized Arizona's new law, calling it discriminatory. Perhaps El Presidente Calderón needs to keep his criticism to himself unless he wants to offer real, workable solutions. Historically, Mexican illegal aliens fared better under… more »
May/19
2010
Convicted murderer Ronnie Lee Gardner had a choice: lethal injection or firing squad. He chose the latter, but not with any intent to die, but as a ploy to claim cruel and unusual punishment. And now he wants his sentence commuted to life. Because,… more »
May/19
2010
In reaction to Comedy Central's censorship of an episode of South Park where Mohammed was depicted wearing a bear costume, Molly Norris nominated May 20 as Draw Mohammed Day and invited fellow facebookers draw Mohammed and submit the image. The action… more »
May/18
2010
Saudi women are pissed and they ain't going to take it anymore. Well, they may have to take it, but at least they are showing their dissatisfaction. Although few details are available, a woman gave a beat down on one of the religious police in Saudi… more »
May/18
2010
Dems want the oil companies to foot the bill for the big mess. Repubs snub the attempt to raise the liability cap. Who's side are they on? Also on Tuesday, Senate Republicans blocked for a second time a Democratic plan to raise the liability limit for… more »
May/18
2010
Let's back up and look at our immigration laws which have been on the books for decades upon decades. You must be here legally FIRST... THEN you can be afforded the benefits of living here such as our entitlement system, drivers licenses, etc etc. The… more »
May/17
2010
Trenton is one of a small but growing number of municipalities that have moved in the opposite direction — making sure that illegal immigrants have documents to make their lives easier. At least six city governments, including San Francisco and New… more »
May/17
2010
I'm not the only one fed up with these jackoffs but the problem is that other nations see an opportunity to act like Big Peacemakers. So we're all forced to watch the same goddamned car crash in slow motion all over again. The deal, negotiated by Turkey… more »
May/17
2010
I suppose it's one of the cheapest ways to make money, just blast a bunch of spam comments at various forums/blogs. But there's something *extra* pathetic when the comment has obvious misspellings. Case in point, this loser right here: Author: scotgfx… more »
May/17
2010
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Why? FFS Why? That's it. From now on I'm only buying German or Swiss. Godsfuckingdamnit I hate when this happens. Fuck you Gerber, fuck you. more »
May/17
2010
I was looking for some information. A person posed a question on answers.yahoo.com and used "WTF" in their question. In response to the question, the favorite answer started: "Just so you know, I do take offense to the WTF abreviation. In my opinion it… more »
May/17
2010
From the AP: CHARLOTTE, N.C. (AP) -- A North Carolina waitress is out of a job after griping on her Facebook page about the bad tip she got from a lingering table of customers. The Charlotte Observer reported Monday that 22-year-old Ashley Johnson felt… more »
May/16
2010
Someone at work asked me why it was so hard for BP to just plug the leak. Typically there's nothing a whole lot of explosives can't cure. But that's when you just want a solution to the leak - which may be what most people want, but not BP. The… more »
May/16
2010
VIENNA (AP) -- Muslims who attended a conference in Austria's capital criticized European countries Sunday for considering the possibility of banning face-covering veils, saying it is counterproductive and regressive.[...] The roughly 100 imams and… more »
May/15
2010

Google Snoops?

Street views, brought to you by Google, are collected by cars with cameras. These cars also try and locate wireless hotspots that are an alternative triangulation to GPS. Oh, and they also grabbed any unencrypted wireless data they happened upon. Hmmm,… more »
May/15
2010
Gentlemen, a word to the wise... if a female is in the bathroom do *not*, under any circumstances, succumb to curiosity to find out the source of that peculiar sound, scent or activity. Women are peculiar creatures, and for the most part they're best… more »
May/14
2010

On This Point We Agree

I'm not entirely certain where I stand on the whole illegal immigration thing, but on one thing I definitely do agree: you can't drive if you don't have a license. ATLANTA — Jessica Colotl, a 21-year-old college student and illegal Mexican immigrant at… more »
May/14
2010
Uh huh, eat it bitch, just eat it... PHILADELPHIA (AP) -- A judge has permanently banned a suburban Philadelphia school district from secretly monitoring students with webcams on their school-issued laptops. But wait! It gets even better! The new ruling… more »
May/14
2010
Sara tends to mix up her words, I'm hoping for the bear's sake she got these two confused... WASHINGTON (AP) -- Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin says ''mama grizzlies'' will punish Washington in November's midterm elections. [...] Palin said female… more »
May/14
2010
Yes, yes God loves a fool because it generates as much needed laughter in that realm as down here. Case in point, a quirky little jester from Iran named Kazem Sedighi. Originally captured in Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi, perhaps it's the Goddess that is… more »
May/14
2010
If every person working for our government had been obligated to answer the following question under oath: "Do you accept that results, as provided to you by your scientists, should be the primary basis for technical decision making?" __Yes __No… more »
May/13
2010
There are some people in power who suck so badly, who are just beyond anything reasonable that it simply boggles the mind that no one has ousted them yet. Mugabe is one. Of course the reason he's still in power is simply because he is such an extreme… more »
May/13
2010
Are there any negative side effects of soy sauce in one's navel? I mean just curious... more »
May/13
2010

Presentations from hell

We had a vendor in to speak to us at our monthly bureau staff meeting. I was actually looking forward to it - new application for a very old technology with a twist. Very cool for geeks like us. So cool, in fact, that the geeky masses swelled our… more »
May/12
2010
One of the best quotes of a new consumer offering from Sony electronics: the Dash... itty bitty clock/browser/music player/wireless leech for your bedside. Unfortunately, the Dash is not quick or satisfying. Actually, “unfortunately” isn’t the word.… more »
May/12
2010
Middle aged men in small villages are hacking up kids... this is the fifth time in recent days it's happened. What prompted the attack — the fifth assault on schoolchildren since March — was as imponderable to many Chinese as the details were gruesome.… more »
May/12
2010

Bill Henson: Judas Goat

Not familiar with the term? Here: "A Judas goat is a trained goat used at a slaughterhouse and in general animal herding. The Judas goat is trained to associate with sheep or cattle, leading them to a specific destination. In stockyards, a Judas goat… more »
May/12
2010
I vacillate between "Well, yeah, he's from NY so what's so unusual" to "Wow, who the fuck was seriously asleep at the video?" CAIRO (AP) -- Police detained an American-Egyptian man who arrived in Cairo on a flight from New York with firearms in his… more »
May/11
2010
For the first time, Microsoft will provide a free online version of Office that lets people store their documents on the Web rather than on their personal computers. Oh yeah, it will only be available for Windows 7 users... And a DNA sample will be… more »
May/11
2010
I've had it with fucking cellphone using assholes drifting between lanes, lolly gaggling dickheads in intersections, and almost having my ass (or theirs) run over. Today is a new day because I introduce to you the one and only, hereby official, Cell… more »
May/10
2010
Either way the guy is an butt-head. “Over 90 percent of parents want kids to be taught to abstain until they at least finish high school, and the comprehensive education curricula don’t do that — they pretty much normalize teen sexual activity,” said… more »
May/10
2010
Every editorial staff needs a moron to round out it's collection of intellectuals. I've ranted on this twat before in When The NY Times Goes Stupid: Tara Parker-Pope on Video Games. She's an extraordinary idiot, but sometimes in the same vein as Yogi… more »
May/10
2010
The Unions that represent state employees in New York and the Governor of New York are in a dispute. At a rally today, one of the union's representatives, Danny Donohue spoke. From the timesunion.com: "Somebody said the rat is a good symbol for the… more »
May/10
2010

BZZZZT Sorry.. you're wrong

So, last Thursday was the national day of prayer. It's increasingly facing challenges from atheist groups that insist that it's unconstitutional. I'm pretty sure they're right and I'm sure that they'll win the point in court eventually. Equally, I don't… more »
May/10
2010
What's the difference between a political candidate and a chimpanzee? The chip prefers to sling his own shit, not someone else's. My point is that it's only a matter of minutes before some aspiring candidate running for office decides to use the new… more »
May/10
2010
You have to wonder wtf is the matter with some people. Was it just a bunch of kids being funny? Or was it a bunch of overly-wealthy fuckheads who never consider anyone but themselves? EDINA, Minn. (AP) -- Need to scoop up after your pooch in the… more »
May/10
2010
Not sports teams - the genuine animal vs. the new regulations that allow firearms in national parks. Gun toting loonies:1, native denizens:0. The advent of the new law focused not on bears but on Second Amendment rights. Even so, three national parks --… more »
May/10
2010
A woman where I work has taken the notion of a fundraising bakesale to new heights. Four to five times a year this short, pugnacious, extroverted woman decides to lay out a table full of high-calorie goodies with the plea to donate to her cause.… more »
May/10
2010
Oh please, pull the other one ok? Now rumors are starting to spread that Darth Cheney is the mastermind behind the environmental disaster in the Gulf... WASHINGTON (AP) -- Oil services contractor Halliburton Inc. says it safely finished a cementing… more »
May/08
2010
I can think of all the things I have used a phonebook for (unrelated to actually looking up numbers) in my lifetime. There were the BB-gun related activities, the leaf-pressing events, and naturally the raise-this-item-to-the-right-height situations.… more »
May/08
2010
Continuation of Miguel Rodriguez says Old Glory not allowed on Cinco de Mayo Some reports state that up to 100 students marched from the Live Oaks High School to the City Hall, supposedly in support of the assistant principal who sent students home for… more »
May/07
2010
At work, we are facing the prospect of furloughs as a cost cutting measure. We may be told to stay home for one day per week. We were asked what day of the week we preferred for a furlough so that management can decide the best course of action that… more »
May/07
2010
I wonder if people name their babies for themselves of for the child? This tidbit suggests the former: The Social Security Administration released its annual rundown of the most popular names for newborns on Friday, and flying up the list was an ancient… more »
May/07
2010
Recently the Vatican posted a policy on its website saying bishops should report abuse to law enforcement where civil laws require it.(NYT) That snippet came from an article on Belgian Bishops. Basically the Belgians felt that the American laws that… more »
May/07
2010
Apparently the American Academy of Pediatricians has lost their collective minds (and spines). In a controversial change to a longstanding policy concerning the practice of female circumcision in some African and Asian cultures, the American Academy of… more »
May/07
2010
Op-ed contributor Pauline Chen asked a dangerous question in her article Do Women Make Better Doctors?. While she's a doctor herself, this wasn't a self-serving bit going "rah, rah, I am so great" a la Homer Simpson. Instead it was an effort to look at… more »
May/07
2010
Seriously - any food that has the texture and consistency of a partially-dried booger and needs to be lavishly doused with a spicy sauce to obscure it's taste isn't going to be missed by me. Just get some extra soggy tofu and slop on the dressing. No… more »
May/07
2010
Waiting rooms suck. Waiting in a waiting room sucks more. Being stuck waiting even after other people who came in later than you have left sucks most. That's what happened to me today. "Oh I was stuck in traffic..." was overheard from one woman. Her… more »
May/07
2010
Forensics will tell in the long run, maybe, if yesterday's bang-bang ride was accidental or not. But even if it wasn't deliberate it demonstrates that the orchestration of such a destabilizing event is certainly possible. One official said they… more »
May/07
2010

Brittany vs. Jesus

Jesus needs to watch where he walks, or at least crosses the street. Especially when there are 20-somethings with cell phones on the road. NORTHAMPTON, Mass. (AP) -- The victim might have forgiven the woman[20-year-old Brittany Cantarella] who ran him… more »
May/06
2010
A good joke at work can lighten a tough job. Making fun of someone's "attributes" that you only got to see using your high tech toys - Not so cool. Rolando Negrin was repeatedly the brunt of jokes after he was scanned using one of the new scanners. He… more »
May/06
2010
Five students in a California school were asked to remove or cover their display of the 'ol red, white and blue yesterday. The t-shirts and bandannas displaying the stars and strips would be acceptable any other time, just not on May 5th. May 5th, Cinco… more »
May/06
2010
The Greeks are running amok. Rioting, rampages, the works and it makes me wonder how they ever became the birthplace of democracy. What's even more weird is that their society condones and rewards financial misdeeds, from the petty 2-euro bribe to the… more »
May/06
2010
Please, someone find the marketing moron that thought of this and kill him quickly for the good of all mankind. COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) -- Fans of White Castle's oniony hamburgers have a new way to indulge without any calorie guilt: a scented candle infused… more »
May/06
2010

A Drive To Drive

Even half a world away this woman scares me plenty... SEOUL, South Korea (AP) -- A South Korean woman who earned a driver's license after 960 tries is ready to buy a car and get behind the wheel. Although it only took her ten tries to get through the… more »
May/06
2010
Ok, I've had it with this bullshit and I'm calling out everyone and anyone who insists that banks need to be nannies for consumers. The whole idea that people need help to act responsibility is FUCKING BULLSHIT. The bottom line here is that *people are… more »
May/05
2010
I read the headline. Then blinked. Then read it again. Of course I had to check out the article. Russian Court Jails 2 Men for Eating Teenage Girl By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS It's one of those times where you squinch up your eyes as you click the link in… more »
May/05
2010
I love idiots because they give me something to write about. Charles Murray, NY Times Op-Ed contributor is a shining example. Here I'm tired, worn out, but after two paragraphs I'm up and rarin' to go. Like waving a Red Bull in front of an insomniac… more »
May/04
2010
I'm into martial arts. It's been a lifelong thing, my black belt back as a teenager, it takes dedication and physical endurance. Lately I've been a bit disgruntled because it seems like anyone, no matter their capacity or dedication, can get a degree so… more »
May/04
2010
WASHINGTON (AP) -- More than 200 years after the first Marines fought in the Revolutionary War, the Marine Corps would finally get its name on the door under legislation the House has approved. The House by voice vote Tuesday agreed to rename the… more »
May/04
2010
Filed under: "same theme, different trappings." SCRANTON, Pa. (AP) -- A northeastern Pennsylvania woman was sentenced Tuesday to three months in prison for placing foreign exchange students in filthy homes in a case that exposed problems with federal… more »
May/04
2010
There's a class of highway drivers that make me want to just ream them in the nuts. They're the ones who can only, and I repeat ONLY, drive a foot from your bumper. Under all conditions. Rain or shine. Day or night. I don't know what it is about certain… more »
May/03
2010

G-Snail

Anyone care to tell me why GMail is so fucking slow these days? Geh. Drives me fucking nuts waiting... waiting... waiting. It's like the goddamned mail client of Dorian Gray. more »
May/03
2010
And by bronco I don't mean the football team, I mean the actual equine form. Some things in life just don't mix. Drinking and driving is a classic example. Or cream and lemon juice (unless you're making cheese). Beer, beans, broccoli, bacon on a first… more »