Archives for: "December 2009"

Dec/31
2009
If a turnip could walk, was about 5 feet tall and stomped along with a oxygen tank it would look like this woman I saw in the supermarket today. The tank was on wheels and had a handle to drag it along. Turnip woman meandered up to the battery powered… more »
Dec/30
2009
Do you think you could please be more like him? Invisible? Silent? Non-influencing? The corollary to that is for those who go on about how wonderful heaven is. If it's so amazingly wonderful then why not get there sooner? Just step off a cliff. I'm just… more »
Dec/29
2009
I have a new laptop. I wanted to set it up with a browser, text editor and development environment. Doesn't seem bad eh? After six hours it seemed like hell. Every and I mean EVERY thing I tried to install, RPMs, tars, even shit through Yum was just one… more »
Dec/29
2009
On our floor of our office building we have what I have dubbed the "Refrigerator Nazi". She demands that everyone that uses the refrigerator, even if just for the occasional frozen dinner, signs up to clean the refrigerator on a regular schedule of her… more »
Dec/27
2009
SUV commercials come in 2 flavors that tout the same features in completely different manners: Traction Control, Power, Visibility, yadda yadda yadda. In version 1 you have a woman in the drivers seat looking a little nervous as she drives alone along a… more »
Dec/27
2009
BEIRUT, Lebanon — Iranian police opened fire into crowds of protesters in Tehran on Sunday, killing at least 10 people and setting off a day of chaotic street battles across Iran that seemed poised to deepen the country’s civil unrest. [...] The Iranian… more »
Dec/26
2009
The solution? Just make it so goddamned uncomfortable to fly that blowing it up won't actually be a punishment for anyone on the plane. WASHINGTON (AP) -- Some airlines were telling passengers on Saturday that new government security regulations… more »
Dec/25
2009
Happy. Holidays. more »
Dec/24
2009
When queried as to why this was, the responsible party retorted: "Don't think of it as a failure but rather as a cost savings." There you have it folks. Yeah it's better not to go any farther with that one. more »
Dec/24
2009
COMMACK, N.Y. (AP) -- A 10-year-old girl in New York has been suspended for bringing peppermint oil to her middle school and distributing it to other students. Why? Because the school claims it's a "drug". Clearly the people who run the school are… more »
Dec/23
2009
I can't watch/listen/think about politics any more. The rancor is so intense it's like watching a car crash over and over. We already had 8 years at one end of the spectrum, and instead of kicking back and looking at why those 8 ended (and why it made… more »
Dec/23
2009
The bumper sticker on the car ahead of me said "Well *I* say Merry Christmas." It's an anthem, a battle cry these days. Political correctness bullshit versus people who need to make a big deal about their personal opinions. Frankly who cares? I don't… more »
Dec/22
2009
Stupid crappy stinkin' piece-o-sheeit modem. Who says fiber is flawless? more »
Dec/21
2009
Lara Stone is featured in an article in this month's Vogue. In it she states: “What they say is ‘curvy,’ but you know they mean fat,” Lara Stone is a size 4 in an asinine fashion industry that makes samples in size 0 (zero, as in nothing???). Lara… more »
Dec/21
2009
Cuba? Really? Wassat? Sorry Dude, screaming and ranting like Hitler or Chavez is so yesterday. more »
Dec/21
2009

Gloat

Fuck you. No. Let me be precise. I hope a pair of gangrenous walruses bend you over the back of a filthy truck stop toilet and take turns anally raping you. I hung up on you the last two times. Call me again to gloat. I fucking dare you. more »
Dec/21
2009
Dude murders his wife. Goes to jail and now wants the government to pay for his sex change. wtf. You are in JAIL fucker. Why should the government pay for anything other than to keep you barely alive? Like shit we should pay tons of money so you can… more »
Dec/21
2009
Bread. I like the stuff. In fact you could say that I actually love the stuff. Of all the foods out there bread rulez. Fuck. I mean people have known this forevar because if they didn't why all the fuss at Passover about matzo? Still I have problems… more »
Dec/20
2009
Hey listen up Fuckheads. America isn't just for Fascists like you. It's for everyone, even people who *gasp* don't agree with your views. And sometimes you need to understand that. Of course I doubt that anyone who's a member of an oppressive group of… more »
Dec/20
2009
It looks like the health care bill will pass, or rather some form of the health care bill. I challenge anyone, anyone at all, to clearly recount the permutations this bill has taken since it was introduced. Health care for all? Yes! No! Health care for… more »
Dec/19
2009

Marketing Genius

Seen on a sign by a parking lot with a holiday tree seller: "All Size Trees! 19.95!" and then right below that in smaller print: "And up." more »
Дек/18
2009

Where's That FedEx Guy?

Remember that guy from the FedEx commercial? The one that could speak a bajillion words a minute? Someone get his address, the government could use him... WASHINGTON (AP) -- Republicans accused Democrats of bad manners, bad timing and bad health care… больше »
Dec/18
2009

GM Sinks Saab

Kinda sad really. It's the opposite of the Midas touch. It's the touch of death. GM buys a really good car manufacturer and because they suck they take down a decent name in automotive manufacturers. PARIS — Saab, whose stylish yet idiosyncratic cars… more »
Dec/17
2009

Oh Thank God!

Hey - check it out... Oral Roberts died. http://www.kspr.com/news/local/79335162.html more »
Dec/16
2009
I'm reading an article on food in the NY Times. It's on cookies. There's a recipe for Italian Wedding Cookies. Ok, well, I'd heard of Italian wedding soup but cookies? So I did a quick Google. On top of cookies and soup there's pasta (yeah who'da… more »
Dec/16
2009
Females getting computer science degrees has been declining and was only 22% according to 2008 National Science Foundation data. According to one article, the geeky masculine image may be to blame.… more »
Dec/16
2009
As I stated in my other post, there are other fringe benefits to being a female in a field dominated by geeky guys. Why should a perfectly normal girl consider a geek boy? Stop going "ew" for one second and let me explain - Yes, he does not understand… more »
Dec/15
2009
A few drug companies are racing to come up with a solution to premature ejaculation (P.E.). Of course, the definition of "premature" can be a bit sketchy for some. Some might find blowing their wad in five full minutes "premature", for others, that… more »
Dec/14
2009

Fuck Pakistan

They don't need our money or our support any more. Frankly they never did. The last thing America needs is to keep giving out money to greedy, self-righteous, assholes who do nothing more than kick us in the teeth. Let the Taliban keep blowing them up.… more »
Dec/14
2009
Mind if I call you Twat? I think it fits. Heck, I know you have strong opinions on how a woman should specify her title. Personally I think telling someone how you prefer to be called is a good thing. Barbara Boxer is a Senator. She deserves to use the… more »
Dec/13
2009
PERUGIA, Italy (AP) -- Amanda Knox told The Associated Press from her jail cell Sunday that she is scared eight days after an Italian court sentenced her to 26 years in prison for the murder of her British roommate. This case has been going on for eons.… more »
Dec/12
2009
Tara, Tara, Tara you stupid twat. What the fuck do you know about video games? Clearly nothing. I've been a hardc0re (yes, with the zero) since '99 and you, my dear, are a fucking mindless, retarded buffoon. December 7, 2009, 11:47 AM 10 Video Games to… more »
Dec/12
2009
Yep ah's po. Dead broke po. But so long as ah kin a'fod mah booze iz gonna be aw-rite. P'don meh. Gonna fill mah drink nah. more »
Dec/11
2009
I had to arrange an event after working hours hosted at my office. Since the company was paying for the event the corporate caterers were going to supply the food. All well and good I thought, since it means less work and less effort for me. I placed… more »
Dec/10
2009
An example of why European men have it all over Americans. They say things like this... Mikhail Baryshnikov, dancer, choreographer and actor. "It's one of New York's most beautiful buildings, but it looks better at night ... like a woman." (Description… more »
Dec/10
2009
Lesbians want a baby. They ask a gay, male friend to help them. They have baby. Then they tell the man "tough shit, it's our child, go away." Um, yeah, no. Actually they might be raising that kid, but... 1. They never could have had it without the *man*… more »
Dec/10
2009
Supposedly it buys Goldman Sachs employee loyalty. At least that's how they put it. Goldman insists that it must pay its employees well to keep them from defecting to rivals. So far, it has set aside $16.7 billion to pay its workers this year, a figure… more »
Dec/09
2009
Durable medical equipment is a term used for "hardware" that is used to treat medical conditions or make life easier. These can be anything from wheelchairs to oxygen tanks to insulin pumps to crutches. I recently got a CPAP machine to help me with… more »
Dec/09
2009

If Then

If, according to Buddhism, all life is suffering then the opposite of life must be the opposite of suffering. Does this mean that Buddhism isn't about the elevation of the human condition from suffering and just a mental pacifier against death? Seems… more »
Dec/08
2009
Hunched over I dash for the safety of my car. I dislike the cold. There's never enough layers, there's never enough inherent warmth. If it's windy I'm more miserable and I hunch down into my jacket, nose buried into my scarf. But that's how it goes when… more »
Dec/08
2009
The lunacy that spews from Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's mouth never ceases to amaze me. If his country wasn't getting closer to being able to make a nuke and his finger wasn't likely going to be poised over the button, he might actually be laughable. The… more »
Dec/08
2009
Ben. You're a misogynistic dick. I dare you to propose an amendment that prevents any subsidy for Viagra, Cialis and other erection medication. You never would, would you? But it's ok to sell out the rights and restrict the freedoms of America's women… more »
Dec/07
2009

Grow up Australia

'Tis a sad day to be a gamer down under. Actually, it's been a sad day for a really long time. They have a game rating board that doesn't understand the concept of mature rated games. In their eyes, if a 15 year old can't handle it, it's banned. Unlike… more »
Dec/07
2009
Ashley Dupre practiced the oldest profession. It's a fact. She admits it. She took money to show men; powerful, rich men; a good time. No rationalization. No apology. It was a job. Many say she brought down Elliot Spitzer, a self-proclaimed champion of… more »
Dec/07
2009
ROGERSVILLE, Tenn. (AP) -- A Tennessee man's homeowners insurance apparently doesn't cover ''acts of cow.'' Jerry Lynn Davis called the Hawkins County Sheriff's office on Thursday, complaining that a neighbor's cows had been licking his house. Tough… more »
Dec/06
2009

Ajax Sux, Palmolive Rules

It's a banner day for that annoying lady who used to advertise about how Palmolive "smooths hands" and she'd always tell her bored, middle-aged patron her hands were "soaking in it" to their apparent surprise. I used to wonder how vapid these women had… more »
Dec/05
2009
To the students who felt their rights were being impinged - the faculty wanted this ban, and it's their workplace. They have the right to feel safe from guns as they teach. Already enough deaths have resulted from students with weapons on other… more »
Dec/05
2009
A veil is semi-transparent, obscuring but not totally hiding what's behind it. The niqab, burkha, whatever isn't a veil, it's a tent. veil  /veɪl/ 1.a piece of opaque or transparent material worn over the face for concealment, for… more »
Dec/04
2009
Ever since the Beatles tucked the little ditty about "Her Majesty" at the end of Abbey Road artists have been tagging shit on the end of albums. I have no problem with that. Except when there's a 20 minute pause and some screeching bullshit that waits… more »
Dec/04
2009
RALEIGH, N.C. (AP) -- Sarah Palin says the United States should rededicate itself to seeking God's will, arguing that a humble spirit could help leaders get more answers on issues such as health care, energy and national security. Really, she needs to… more »
Dec/04
2009
The tacky gift for the past few decades has a new "model" - Our president. Just when you were wondering what you could get that hard to satisfy person on you gift list, this gem comes along: https://www.chiaobama.com Who wouldn't want a high quality… more »
Dec/04
2009
Eminent domain should be reserved for public projects for the common good. However, commercial enterprises have gotten in a bad habit of screwing private landowners using eminent domain. Finally, landowners have caught a break - The New York State Court… more »
Dec/03
2009
I had a Maxtor drive. It's two years old. It shit the bed. Every time I plugged it in all my USB devices (keyboard and mouse included) would have a coronary. So I googled up Maxtor support. They got bought. By Seagate. So I try and call Seagate and got… more »
Dec/03
2009
So if the bible doesn't really support your views, not when people hold you to the text as it is published in popular versions, then what the fuck do you do? Well you re-write it of course. That's what the pro-conservative dick-suckers are doing.… more »
Dec/02
2009
Men with long fingernails. Actually I ~can dig it if they're neat and trimmed. However when they're scary fucking long, and curling in on themselves like the shoes on a gnome it's something else. That's what I saw today. A youngish guy, maybe 32 at… more »
Dec/02
2009
Well the depositions are out. What Egan said under oath is now public, and all of it is nauseating. Here's a man, well educated, that doesn't give a rats ass that priests sexually abused their charges. His words state that clearly. “Bishop Egan, the… more »
Dec/01
2009
It was a dinky little house on the corner of two routes. The driveway really wasn't very wide or very long, probably just enough for someone to nose in and then back out. But I guess they must have a problem with a lot of people doing just that because… more »
Dec/01
2009
Note - this isn't in any particular order, just as I thought of them. 1. People who can't navigate their vehicle because they're talking on a cell phone. Ok, in this case it IS the top thing on my list. Attention Assholes. If you're on a cell phone… more »