World of Suck

I meant to complain about this when I saw the movie in the theater, but hey, sue me. I forgot. However, 'Superman Returns' just showed up on HBO and reminded me to do it.

I like the movie. I'm not a huge Superman fan in general, but I enjoyed the movie. Mostly. If you're planning on seeing it, don't read any further. Because I'm going to spoil the fuck out of it in a little bit.

You see, I don't get the story. If you turn your brain off and ignore the glaring plot hole, the movie is enjoyable and you come away thinking 'Hey, Superman rules'.

But I didn't do that. So I enjoyed the movie, but decided that Superman is a bastard. Basic idea goes like this: Superman left Earth to find Krypton. Five years go by and now he's back. Lois Lane and the merry band of reporters have all moved on with their lives. She has a kid with her fiance. About five years old. You see where this is going, right?

So Superdick comes back and expects everything to be the same, and is hurt when it's not. Boo fucking hoo. The villain does his thing, Superman saves the day, nearly dies and finds out the kid is his. Yay, heroic ending.

Think about it. This story requires Superman to fuck Lois, knock her up, and decide to run off into outer space. What a shithead. Seriously, Superman is a hit-it-and-quit-it type of guy? Really? Then, inside a few weeks of banging superman, she runs off and fucks her new man on the side (Richard). I mean, it had to be close enough that he thought the kid was his, right? They never say if she knowingly lied to Richard. Maybe she just underestimated the power of Super-Sperm. The end result is that she's either easy or desperate to cover up the bastard child. And since we see her hang all over Superman's jock once he's back, I'm betting she's just easy. I suppose she could have been involved with Richard while she was banging Superman. Still, not a set of choices that really casts her in a positive light.

But let's step back to Superman. The pillar of Truth, Justice and the American Way, right? Sleeps with a chick out of wedlock. Knocks her up, and the runs away for five fucking years. That American Way bit just isn't what it used to be, is it?

For additional points, I refer you to Superdickery.com Read it for a while. There is plenty of other evidence out there.

Superman sucks.

I've always thought it rather arrogant when people insist on pre-warming their vehicles before they get into them. I can understand when you have small children, perhaps warming up the car for a bit, since they're strapped into car seats barely able to scratch an itch. But for a healthy adult to warm their car for a good five to ten minutes before getting into it, well it's a blatant waste of energy.

There's a woman at work who insists on doing this with her SUV. I'd be walking out to my car, and always notice this empty, locked vehicle with the engine running. It pisses me off because not only is she wasting gas, polluting the air but because she's so spoiled that she can't stand being out in the cold for the time to walk all of fifteen feet from the door to her parking spot. Still, there's a little give there because I hate being cold, and it does take the engine a bit to start producing heat so fine, whatever.

The other day it was a balmy and beautiful eighty degrees. Perfect temperature to be outside, nicer even than being in the arctic ice-station of the building. As I walk out the door I'm dumbfounded. The bitch has her car running again! This time to crank the AC. Wtf?!?! Hello? It's perfect outside?

All I can say is Energy-Whore better be going through hot-flashes because there's just no fucking excuse for the fuel she's wasting five days a week.