World of Suck

... apparently some people can give better head than Paris. Well ok, most anyone can, but it's not all the time that the someone is a balding old asshole.

WASHINGTON, July 2 — President Bush’s decision to commute the sentence of I. Lewis Libby Jr. was the act of a liberated man — a leader who knows that, with 18 months left in the Oval Office and only a dwindling band of conservatives still behind him, he might as well do what he wants.

Actually the press is wrong. He *always* did what he wanted to, and fuck the rest of us.

Indeed, to administration critics, the commutation was a subversion of justice, an act of hypocrisy by a president who once vowed that anyone in his administration who broke the law would “be taken care of.”

Wrong again, the president never said *how* they'd be taken care of. They just didn't get the drift. He always takes care of his buddies.

“I respect the jury’s verdict,” he said. “But I have concluded that the prison sentence given to Mr. Libby is excessive.”

Respect means you don't overrule the will and laws of our country. Of course if you don't feel that you're above the law then all bets are off.

Fuck you, you fat fuck.

We recently got voice mail in my office. We have still been instructed to only give out our secretary's phone number. I work for a state agency and we are a bit behind the times. Somehow, some numb-nuts from a federal agency got my desk phone number - Correction - OLD desk phone number, where I haven't sat in about four months. Perhaps there is logic to only using the secretary's number!

The numb-nuts asked the guy who is now sitting there to transfer him to MY supervisor (not to be confused with the guy who is in my old cubie's supervisor, since we don't even work for the same people). The guy in my old cubie tells me numb-nuts called when I get back to my desk. I asked if numb-nuts left a last name or phone number, to which the guy shakes his head no. I guess numb-nuts thought that he was so memorable that I would remember him merely from his first name and agency he worked for, so memorable that he would stand out from the hordes of people I must deal with daily. Later, I get an e-mail from a person who I deal with frequently that originated from the numb-nuts (well, same first name, same agency anyway) - so at least I know what he was calling about.

What is the point of this rant?
1) Don't assume you and I are so tight that you can just call my desk when ever you want. We're not that tight unless I tell you we are. Otherwise, call the secretary - that is why I give people that number.
2) I may have given my direct line to you for a conference call or something. I also told you to loose the number after the call. I meant it!
2) Don't assume that the person who answers my phone, or in this case OLD phone, is my secretary and is ready, willing and able to transfer you call to whomever else you want to talk to in my absence.
3) LEAVE A PHONE NUMBER! Don't think you are so charming that I remember who you are. Unless I talk to you a couple times a week and/or you look like Johnny Depp and/or you have a voice like Barry White, I probably won't. Even if I do remember who you are, I probably can't find your phone number in the shambles I call a cubicle. Furthermore, I'm not psychic. If I was that good, I've have a stint in Vegas, baby, making way more money than I am making now and not sitting in a lousy windowless cubicle. Why you are calling would be really nice, too, but not quite as necessary.

What does it take and whom do I have to pay (or alternatively murder) to get a spray bottle that will actually *spray* when it is pointed at the target? I mean gods, this transcends all activities, be it killing weeds or cleaning a carpet, one needs to point the damn thing at what you're using it for right? And when pointed, and hand-crampingly pumped it needs to function, correct?

I'm of the mind that it's some Machiavellian plot, wherein the chemical manufacturers deliberately create a system that ensure you can no longer use the product with any dexterity once the contents are down by 50%. This, in turn, leads to the massive proliferation of half-empty cleaners, solvents, killers and other skin-dissolving gunk piled into a Mount Fuji of toxic liquids under the sink (remember to child lock those cabinets parents!).

Admittedly the bottles are cheap and don't pollute the environment (other than with the chemicals they contain). And likely, any improvement in the design may raise the price for the consumer. But then again the consumer will actually be able to use *all* of the product, and not just half.

So then, how hard is it to create a system that would permit spraying when the bottle is tipped at a slight angle... you know, to actually *aim* at the offending source? Some sort of shrinking bladder within the bottle, somewhat less expensive than what they use for fuel tanks on fighter jets, might be an idea. Or a spring-loaded diaphragm that kept the contents under pressure?

Are you idiot manufactures out there listening? I'm giving out these ideas for free here.

Lets say that those ideas are too costly to manufacture. A ~very cheap alternative would be to put one of those little plastic ball-n-tube widgets on the outside of the bottle, the type you see on shipping containers that need to be kept upright. The manufacturer could put marks on the tube to let the user know when the bottle was tipped too far to be effective. Cheap, simple, fairly foolproof, yes?

Regardless, there is nothing more damn annoying than using a bottle of crap which you have to pump by hand and not having it perform. Like a limp boyfriend, you either need to get him an aid to assist his performance, or dump him for some new guy altogether....