World of Suck

Why do parents live in denial?

I've touched on the issue dozens of times over the years (yes... we've been screaming into the ether for years now) but no matter how many times it comes up, I still don't get it. What causes the parents of so many teenagers to be so drastically out of touch with the youth culture around little Joe and Sally?

There are fundamental realities that parents need to accept. By age 13, it's virtually certain that your kid knows something about sex in some form or another. Maybe only conceptually. Maybe they know how it all works. Maybe they've HAD sex by then.

There is also a good chance that some of what they know is wrong. Which is why lots of us push for real, honest, informative sex ed classes. That means teaching children more than the physical attributes of a male and female, but how it all goes together. How to determine if they're ready for sex, how to say no, and how to be safe.

I'm consistently amazed that a parent would ever argue against that position. But they do. Fine.

But it's more than that. They're SHOCKED... absolutely SHOCKED when little Billie demonstrates that his 15 year old mind might have wandered onto the subject at some point. Don't they fucking remember that age? If there was a 6 hour period where my mind DIDN'T focus on sex at some point... I would have been shocked.

Take for example the sex edition of a student paper at a high school in New Hampshire. The entire edition was student created. It discussed homosexuality, anal / oral sex, sex myths, date rape and masturbation. Now, some of those topics are/ were taboo for parents. But for people born in the Nintendo generation and later, they're really not shocking or new. They're facts of life facing many high school students. And in my personal opinion, it's better to put the subject out in a way that kids will read than hoping that they'll get everything correct by watching online pr0n. Discuss the actual facts and consequences before Suzie thinks that having an orgy with lots of unprotected friends is a good idea.

Of course the parental reaction to the paper was to stage a massive uproar and demand the removal of the editor. They also would like the school board to censor... I mean... provide administrative control of the student paper from now on.

Look, I get it. you wish your kids would stay kids forever. But you know what, by senior high, you'd better expect your teen to be able to make choices about sex. It's probably better if they're informed choices rather than based on the perpetual myths that always fly around children of that age. The age of consent is between 16 and 18 for most of the US. Lower in a few states. You can't wait until then to inform your kids, because a lot of them don't wait that long to figure it out on their own.

Honestly, it's a mystery to me why a parent would so obviously sabotage their child's ability to understand sexual relationships. I know, they were raised that way. But the mores of the past don't always fit into the reality of today. Kids grow up fast and they have a lot more information a lot younger than they did 50 years ago. Confusion about the subject is bound to happen, and simply blindfolding your child isn't going to change that. Parents should lead the discussion, but with so many teens sexually active, you can't expect the school system to remain silent on such a pressing need for the kids. All the more so since the articles chosen were written by the very teens in question.

It demonstrates that they already know enough to write about it. Parents need to recognize that it also means they're old enough that they need to be treated like adults and have a reasonable discussion on the topic

From CNN news: A teenager and his friends made a bomb based on instructions they got off the internet. It didn't explode right away, but when it did, it nearly blinded the Massachusetts's teen. He may not regain his eyesight for six months. When asked what he learned, he replied: "Not to do something stupid." Well, maybe he will avoid a Darwin award after all?