World of Suck

Questions.

Some questions are valid. Some are troublesome. To have doubts, concerns and needs - that's normal. That's human. To question ones existance, wonder about life and relationships - these are things you probably should do. It keeps you from stagnating.

But when you're an adult and you can't seem to move past the five-year old inclination to ask a question about every single damn thing, I want to split your head open.

Here are a few tools to help you not be a dumbass and therefore risk my ire.

Pay Attention
You've made it this far in life. You own a house. You've delt with major life issues. How did you get this far if you can't open your fucking eyes for a second and look at the world around you.

I'm not your keeper.

Help Yourself
Nothing will answer your questions like simply taking a second to investigate the answer yourself. Seriously. It's not that hard.

When you're in a situation, and you have these things called resources available, then you should use them. If I take a second to answer something that you should be able to easily figure out for yourself, then don't ask me again. I told you. I did my job. We all figured it out (whatever "it" is). You can do the same.

I'm not your keeper.

Don't Bite The Hand
I did something nice for you. Imagine it - I thought of someone other than myself. And what do you do? You bitch at me about the delivery, quality and speed.

Ok - that's not you asking some dumbass question that I neither know the answer to or care about giving. But still. Fuck it.

I'm not your fucking bitch.

In short - next time - screw you.

I can't help you as you fumble for all of the crap that you have burdened yourself with. I can't look after your belongings if you forget them. I can't wait for you if you toddle off to get more useless crap. I can't bother to care if you knew about some widget on the web before everyone else did - it doesn't make you cooler in my eyes. It makes you look like you're self-important, which is repulsive.

I won't babysit you as you flail helplessly, awash in your own lifes drama. I'll offer no comfort as you paint yourself into a corner with your own ineptitude, disorganization, and unwavering tunnel vision.

Yep. Screw you.