World of Suck

I have a hard time explaining sometimes. I’ve told some of my friends. I told my girlfriend. But I really don’t think I can really convey it.

High school sucked. A lot of teens say that, so it gets drown out in the noise. But for me, it really did suck. I lost count of the number of times I was beat up in 6th through 8th grade. It was a lot. I remember getting suspended for it once, because the bully (6’1”, 210lbs), caught in the act of kicking me while I was down, claimed I started it (5’5” 125lbs). By the way, for any reading in similar situations, make friends with the heavy metal, biker guys. It made high school somewhat easier.

I remember being told that I needed to find Jesus and get my life in line with his plan for me. By teachers as well as students. I remember taking 20 minutes of assignment time in physics class to be preached at by other students about the perils of being outcast in society if I didn’t tow the line. I remember the rocks thrown at me from across the football field during gym class with whatever insult they felt like adding to them. I remember losing myself in heavy metal music every morning on my drive to school just to prepare myself for the trials of the upcoming day, and to unwind at the end. I remember sitting alone in my room with a knife wondering if today was the last straw. I remember thinking that the best way to end my life would be to take as many of them with me as I could.

By senior year, I began to revel in being ostracized. I took freak as a compliment. Smiled and laughed as they insulted me. Fought back, and usually won (thanks Dad both for believing me and teaching me how to fight dirty), when they came after me. When my chemistry teacher started in on me, I responded by lecturing her on the perils of telling a student about what religious views he should have. I recall telling the Catholic students about the perils of assuming that their God would stop me from causing them great physical pain. I recall telling them in no uncertain terms that if damnation meant escaping them for eternity, I welcomed the hellfire.

They were vile people. Brought up that way by vile parents. Fortified by vile teachers. And it made me sick. In a graduating class of 200, I can honestly call none of them friends. A few fellow misfits. I won’t miss any of them.

I tried to skip graduation but my mother wouldn’t hear of it. I threw my yearbook away. Mom saved it. I told her I’d burn it if I ever got my hands on it. 10 years later, I stand by that.

I have done a good job of trying to forget that place. Today, it all came rushing back when I loaded up Fark to read my daily does of hilarious news.

There was a story on my school. It was a story about a Jewish student who suffered at the hands of her fellow students. Apparently her experience demonstrated the same tolerance that I had come to expect. She was left alone in class while the rest went to bible study. There were numerous school prayers (separation? Not in God’s country!). Numerous class assignments to discuss Christianity, but no other religion.

Complaints did not fall on deaf ears. It might have been better if they had. Her parents attempted to talk to the school board, but received little feedback. Afterwards, they were called on the phone several times and informed that the KKK was around and watching.
A former board member suggested that the mother might "disappear" like Madalyn Murray O'Hair, the atheist whose Supreme Court case resulted in ending organized school prayer. O'Hair disappeared in 1995 and her dismembered body was found six years later.

The final infamy came on graduation day. A day I’m sure she was excited about turned to ash. The pastor, in his invocation, issued the following statement.

I also pray for one specific student, that You be with her and guide her in the path that You have for her. And we ask all these things in Jesus' name.

Since then, the family has moved away. The father still lives there, because he needs the job, but the mother and children now live over two hours away. The threats scared them away.

Now, the school board says these are all lies. They have made claims saying the entire thing is made up.

I’ve lived through my hell there. I don’t have any trouble seeing the account as true. Maybe it did, maybe it didn’t. But if I had to bet, I’d say it did. Every word.

I’ll carry my scars for life. With time, I’ll forget. I’ll haze over it. I’ll put it out of my mind. The four years that were supposed to be my greatest, are just a stretch of time I do my best to forget. But from time to time, stories such as this will cause it to all rush back. My anger and hared for them have been pushed into the background, but I don't really think the fires have dulled over the course of a decade.

To my young Jewish friend, I can only offer you this. It will get better. The rest of the world is not like those bigots down there. Be strong. Don’t be afraid to approach new people. They’re not all vile. Don’t let the minds of small people hold you back from your true potential.

So yeah...for those of you who don't know, I make my living as an IT Consultant. It wasn't exactly my first choice when searching for a job but it's okay most days and pays the bills until I find something else.

So anyway, we deal mostly with small businesses. I like most of our small businesses as they're all pretty laid back in regards to they flex to our busy schedules most of the time and I like that. The ones that don't flex, I send to my boss so he can deal with it. Very nice indeed.

Unfortunately, we also have picked up more "residential" business in the past few weeks. Mostly people who don't know someone 'tech savvy' that have problems with their computers. Some of them have been simple hits...clean up some spyware, remove a few viruses, maybe restore Windows.

Then, there are the users from hell. The ones that you are 'asked' to rearrange your schedule for because they had a paper due yesterday but their computer died 2 weeks ago. One customer in particular has been a large annoyance. His hard drive died, spectacularly I might add, taking some of his college coursework with it. I somehow managed to get into it via Knoppix and copy his files off to a server on our network. I then burned these to a CD for him and checked the files I could with my workstation. He had several documents in Wordperfect that I was unable to test but I warned him that some might have been corrupted...

He has called our office every day for 2 weeks. He first called to say that the CD had viruses (which was bogus, I scanned it while he watched to prove it). He then called to say he could not open any of the files (again bogus, I opened a handful in Word). I asked him to try opening files in Wordperfect and he looked at me like I was asking him to give a donkey a blowjob. He called today and I spent 10 minutes trying to explain to him that the Wordperfect files would not open in Word...I know, I tried it. So I asked another coworker to talk to him. When that coworker contacted him, he said everything was fine.

I'm expecting his call first thing Monday morning to say it's broke again.

''There is no correlation between the health, welfare and safety of foster children and the blanket exclusion of any individual who is a homosexual or who resides in a household with a homosexual,'' Associate Justice Donald Corbin wrote in the opinion.

This quote is in regard to the recent verdict handed down by the Arkansas High Court. For most of us who can read this the reaction is "Well - DUH".

In addition, the court said, the testimony of a Child Welfare Agency Review Board member demonstrated that ''the driving force between adoption of the regulations was not to promote the health, safety and welfare of foster children but rather based upon the board's views of morality and its bias against homosexuals.''

In this case double-DUH.

The problem is what with the "In your face" rulings, the courts find themselves at odds with the cock-munching politico's that love to beat the family agenda bullshit platform and cry foul when their attempt to legislate morality runs amok of the law. Justices are blasted for "from the hip" judgements, as opposed to a thoughtful reexamination of the laws that they're paid to interpret. From being shot at in family courts to being threatened by the stripping of jurisdiction - justices today aren't being evaluated by their skill in doing their job but instead on the popularlity of their decisions.

Yep, this is America today - where it's not what you do but how popular you are that matters.

The Supreme Court today slapped the president's hand and told him not to make up the laws as he goes along. In essence his attempt to try military/political detainees with tribunals violates not just our laws but the Geneva Convention. 9/11 and the flurry of hastily cobbled laws that resulted did not "hand the president a blank check", and thus the current treatment of the prisoners rights has been a violation of basic laws.

That's it in a nutshell.

Of course the justices also pretty much summarily dismissed the attempt to strip them of their position of judgement on the topic as well. Congress needed to get a fucking grip before trying to push that one through - the Supreme Court is the Supreme Court. It rules on all issues, not just the ones that congress doesn't want examined (ignore the man behind the curtain).

Mr. Stamp said the court had ignored its own precedents justifying the use of tribunals instead of courts martial, and was substituting its own judgment for the president's in his role of commander in chief. "For the court to step into the war-making arena, where it has no expertise, is inappropriate," he said.

Ok, Mr. Stamp - whoever he is - is a fucking retard. A prisoner, by definition is no longer IN a war-making arena. Otherwise he wouldn't be a fucking prisoner. Once someone moves from combatant to prisoner the laws - both ours and the Geneva Convention are patently clear on the issue. Idiot. And in my opinion (and I'd bet anyone else in the world) had to put money on the better judgement of nine supreme court justices versus our current president I sure as shit know who would win.

I find it insulting that the dictatorial bent has been justified as a "return to the original intent of presidential authority". Bullshit. It's just a fucking unrestrained power grab by a president backed by a republican majority under the guise of a self-inflicted, revenge-oriented war.

Supreme court 1: Clown 0.

I have my rituals just like anyone else. For a long time, my morning work ritual is to grab some strawberry Pop-Tarts and an orange juice from the work vending machines. I liked this ritual. It not only put some food in my empty stomach, but I enjoy strawberry Pop-Tarts.

The key word is *strawberry*. Usually there are cherry Pop-Tarts right next to the strawberry ones, which would do if the former were sold out. But lately...lately our vending machine stocker person has not been so kind. For in place of the red fruit flavored paste filled pre-baked snacks they have.... S'MORE flavored Pop-Tarts. That's right - the great taste of CHOCOLATE and MARSHMALLOWS in a frickin' POP-TART. Perfect for breakfast.

If that weren't bad enough, any other "breakfast-y" choices have been reduced to "honey buns" (whose moisture lined packages of sticky sweet less-than-digestible wads of dough make me vomit a little inside my mouth every time I see them). A variety of honey buns. Sugary glazed cheese cake confections. Mashed and mangled Suzi-Qs and other cream filled crumbly chocolate cake disaters. And now - small slices of "muffin loaf", that taste more like wet bread than muffin.

I probably wouln't be bitching if only the vending machine stocking person would realize that it is not neccessary to fill not one, but TWO rows of S'more Pop-Tarts. Not one but TWO rows of Rasberry Muffin Loaves (not even a single Banna Nut Muffin Loaf, which is the most tolerable). Not one but TWO rows of the CRAP THAT I PASS UP AT ANY OPPORTUNITY.

But damnit. I like to have a spot of something before beginning my day. I could go downstairs and pay $3 for a bagel from the crazy lady behind the counter at the "cafe" (i.e. the broom closet that serves as the food stand for the entire building - did anyone ever think that a full service deli would fly wonderfully in the lobby of an office building whose closest food choice is McDonalds?!?). Or I could get off my lazy ass and go to the store and buy a couple boxes of pop-tarts and send the vending machine companies profits into a sprial.

But. As I said. I like my ritual.

So, from time to time, I must unleash my exasperation with a product. Well, not really. Maybe it’s with the people who provide the reason for it’s existence.

Most people in the country like Oreo cookies. They’re simple. Easy. Great to dunk in a glass of milk. Twist them apart and chow down on the filling.

Over the past few years, Nabisco has been putting out a bunch of new varieties of Oreo. I don’t mind this in general. I can honestly say that I never really got into mint, peanut butter, or white fudge or any of the other odd things they’ve done with the filling over the years. To me, there are Oreos and Double Stuff Oreos. Extra filling is good, sue me. But hey, to each their own I guess. No skin off my back.

Anyhow, I was going along today, and came across a little review of their newest product. Oreo Dunkers. Basically, they change the shape of the cookie to resemble a Vienna Finger, if you’re familiar with them. And oblong shape, more narrow than a traditional Oreo. The idea being that this shape is easier to dunk.

Now, my question is simple. Who had a problem working out the process involved in dunking an Oreo before? I mean, there had to be a target audience. I want to know how these people managed to survive. Seriously. Glass, milk, cookie, dunk, munch. If this process isn’t one of the easier things you do in your day, maybe you need to reexamine the world you live in. Do we really need to reshape the cookie to make it easier?

Apparently the answer is yes. Still, it’s kind of disturbing that there was a call for this product. In all my Oreo dunking, I can’t say I’ve ever once thought “this is really inconveniently shaped for dunking. They should fix this!”

But that’s just me I guess

A few years ago, our government, in one of its most useful moments, created a telemarketer's "Do Not Call" list. It's wonderful. I've had hardly a moment's peace interrupted since.

However, this does not mean I don’t get to hear about it from time to time around the proverbial water cooler (otherwise known as the giant open area I’m forced to sit in for 12 hours a day). Take today for example. Some lady, who wasn’t bright enough to put her name on the ‘do not call’ list, so she got a call from a telemarketer. After saying no thank you a few times, the guy just wouldn’t give up. He asked to speak to the “man of the house”. So, she blew up and yelled at him until he hung up. She’s… umm… a bit of a militant feminist. So, today at work, she relays this story.

Her coworker attacked her for doing it. He said that while the comment was perhaps inappropriate, she shouldn’t abuse the telemarketer. It’s just a low paying job and it’s mostly done by people that are not very well off. It’s not like most people want to grow up and sell stuff over the phone. Then he went off into an analogy that basically said that you wouldn’t behave that way to a clerk in a store.

So, I’m taking a moment to rant here because if I stand up and take up this conversation, there is a good chance I’ll bash his larynx in with a baseball bat. Bear with me.

Telemarketers are different from just about every other class of people on the planet. The few other groups I can think of that are similar religious missionaries, and door to door sales. You’ll note the lack of sales clerk in there.

These things are similar because they all want something from you. But, because you don’t generally want to give it to them, they must aggressively seek you out on your own time. In your own homes.

They don’t want you to think about it, and come looking for their product. They want to push it on you. To force you to defend yourself against their sale. They don’t want you to think about it. They want to confuse you, pressure you, and take advantage of you.

For all of these reasons, I can not just let them be. They’re not just doing their job. They’re involving themselves in MY life. They’re taking MY time away from me. They’re refusing to allow me to make choices for myself.

Maybe life didn’t deal them a happy life with a condo in Honolulu, but I’m still waiting for that myself. There are a number of career options that require the same level of expertise as telemarketing. Most pay about the same. These people that try to take my time from me CHOOSE to do this. No one held a gun to their head. They just decided no to do more honest work. The penalty for that is that the people you annoy, get to abuse you until you go away.

Driving home in the rain after a long trip, I found moron after moron with their high beams on behind me and opposite me. Now the opposite me is only a problem for a short period. The behind, me, well, that makes me want to force the bastard off the road and poke his eyes out. Even after I slowed down, let them pass and flashed my lights at them, they STILL had the fucking high beams on.

May they go blind prematurely since then want to burn holes in my retinas!

Amazingly enough democracy actually prevailed, at least my interpretation of democracy. But it didn't prevail by any significant amount. In fact this act if preservation only survived by one vote. What am I referring to? The "desecration of the flag" amendment. By a vote of 66 to 34 America retained her liberty to expression - which in my mind means that the symbol of our nation and what it stands for cannot be infused in an object but exists in the minds of her people.

Americans are what make this America, not a symbol, not a place, not even (imho) the written copies of the Declaration of Independence. Even if you removed all copies today 'We, the People' would be able to re-create it from memory, from heart, from instinct.

Any senator or politician that believes that we need a constitutional amendment to protect our ideals from "desecration" is purely pandering because they know, that a flag doesn't represent who we are (unlike, say our actions which patently show what we stand for). 30 democrats, 3 republicans and 1 independent proved themselves to be ~truly American yesterday. They defended our bill of rights, and provided safekeeping for the ideal that the transfer of ideas, through speech, graphics and writings, though actions, assembly and demonstration remains available to all.

It's pathetic that not all senators can get away from the urge to pose like prima donna's for the press. The bile-inducing toadying and sycophantic behavior in the name of patriotism has risen to an all-time high in the face of increasingly skeptical sentiment from the public. As a thinking member of american society it's been hard and harder to swallow the red/white and blue pabulum that keeps getting shoved down our throat.

There is a silver lining however. Those that remember the restrictions and incursions on liberty from the 50's are getting fewer and fewer. There are generations from the 70's to the 90's who had no idea that ideological witch hunts could exist here... until recently. Will it generate a backlash like the 60's? It's hard to say. But most of the time the pendulum does swing both ways.

Just because you pay someone a lot of money does NOT mean that you'll get the equivalent value in return. You can pay anyone a lot of money, hell, pay it to me. At least I promise to appreciate it.

Our current administration likes to take people who have been paid a lot of money in the past and pay them more. It's a theme with them. It helps if the job they're being overpaid for is somehow faintly related to work they might have done in the past. The kid who worked on the campain making the ass statements about NASA, the former FEMA chief, those are good examples of "W'all he looks lahk a decent sorta guy, let's give him a trahy" mentality of our current president.

Lets take a look-see at the current bio for Donald "Andy" (Andy? - why does everyone in the administration have to have nick-names?) Purdy Jr the current director of Homeland Security for Cyber Security.

1. Getting paid $577,000 for 2 years ($245,481 from the government, $43,320 from Carnegie Mellon University)
2. Technical background: Attourney. Has held previous jobs in state and federal legal positions... and has some management skills.
3. No formal technical background in computer security.

That's right. None. He's been on the job now for 21 months, and to my assessment (and several members of Congress) the guy fucking blows chunks, as does the department in general.

He also claims he can get paid better in the private sector. Well I'm sure, given that his resume now has Cybersecurity Chief on it. Personally now that his contract is up for a review I think it's a good time to take him up on that.

For my money I'd hire someone that actually HAS a technical degree to manage the position. But hell, that's just me. Oh, as an aside - Carnegie Mellon has contracts with the government for cyber-security related work. $411 million actually. Pretty keen eh?

...that foreigners are coming to the US to get gender-specific invitro? Yep it's banned in China, India and many other countries but it's perflectly legal here in the US - so wealthy foreigners are coming here to ensure they get their custom kids.

I wonder, with all the anti-stem cell, anti-abortion rhetoric that gets tossed about so easily why this topic has gone unnoticed.

The War.

It's not popular is it? They don't want us there and at this point we don't want to be there. "We the People" that is, not "We the ruling party". The president and a significant number of our honestly elected officials don't want us to leave yet, but the problem is troops do need to come home at some point and those that leave need to be replaced. That's where recruiting come in, but these days enlisting is about as popular as the war its self. That is to say, it's not.

If there's anything that's been a hallmark of the past 6 years it's been craftiness. The current administration is sneaky, and pretty damn good at it. The press does keep catching them out, and they get pissed at it and howl anti-patriotic epithets at the writers and publishers but the fact is if they were being honest and above board there wouldn't be anything to be caught at. That's not to say that there aren't government activities that require secrecy, certainly there are. But the idea of processing public information, tapping calls, digging through bank records, tracking Internet usage, digging into public library records isn't in that same category....still that's not what this rant is about, it's about what I mentioned before. Recruiting.

Now where is the largest source of young, inexperienced males to be found these days? Well schools. High schools. Colleges too (though less popular because those men will probably be smart enough to decide for them that being at the business end of a gun isn't going to get your chicks, beer or money). High schools. The military likes 'em young and impressionable, preferably without dependants. But in schools most boys are still being influenced by parents and the idea of giving your child to the government to have him killed isn't very popular. So the government has given up waving the 9/11 banner as a motivation to PROTECT YOUR MOTHER COUNTRY. Their sneaky-experts looked for the next big influence in a high-school aged boy's life. The Teachers.

Apparently the government is very busy these days wooing teachers. Giving them helicopter trips, letting them handle the weapons, having them run simulations. Yes the government is throwing the "cool" factor of war at teachers in an effort to bypass parental influence and get straight to their goals - the kids. It's a slick idea really. Teachers get rides and pictures in a quarter of a billion, state of the art helicopter and in return Mr.Smith, your 12 grade gym teacher (who thinks you really have some talent there kid... what will you be doing after you graduate?) is willing to plug the benefits of enlisting. Sure your parents might not like it, but hell he understands you better than they do right? Wouldn't you like to ride in a helicopter like he did? He's been there and let me tell you - it's the shit.

It's funny how the current administration prides its self on its "family" values. Pride of course stopping at the line where it's more important to drive a wedge between the potential enlisted newb and someone's son.

"Congress was briefed," Mr. Bush said. "And what we did was fully authorized under the law. And the disclosure of this program is disgraceful. We're at war with a bunch of people who want to hurt the United States of America, and for people to leak that program, and for a newspaper to publish it, does great harm to the United States of America."

Ah smell that Cold War.... Smells kinda like mothballs doesn't it?

Okay, first rant and I'm feeling pretty fucking pissed off about my current living situation so here we go...

I just moved back to Indiana about a year ago. I lived with the parents for a few months until I felt comfortable financially to get a place of my own. That day finally came right before Christmas of last year as I found a place just south of town in the suburbs. Excellent. That's where my housing nightmare began...

My first visit to the complex was flawless. I had picked out the unit I wanted and filled out the application. I was promised a unit by the end of the month as my fiancee was soon going to be out of a place as of the beginning of the year. All fine and good there.

Two days later I drop off the check for the deposit. When I did this, I was informed that they had given my apartment to someone else less than an hour before. I later found out that this person had turned in their application AFTER I had done so and they informed me when I turned in my application that there were "several" units available when there was only ONE. Asshats! "No problem," the manager assured me, "we'll have another one coming open soon." Alrighty then, we'll see if they can redeem themselves.

Sure enough, a few days later they called me. They were evicting a resident and they assured me that they would have the unit ready for move in by the end of the month. They made good on this promise, only they did a rush job on their "repairs." One of the closet handles literally fell off in my hand, the tub drips constantly, the bathroom door didn't close properly...ARGH!#@!#!

I have lived here for a total of 6 months...and they're the worst 6 months I've ever spent in an apartment. The dishwasher leaks (though they still to this day say there's 'nothing wrong'...), the water heater had to be replaced because it leaked EVERYWHERE, we've lost water on two occasions (once it was out for 24 hours...). Not to mention our downstairs neighbors are the WORST NEIGHBORS EVER. They blast their Spanish television during the day, constantly beat on the ceiling and/or walls, and claim that we had a "dog" in here. Our complaints to management about them warrant no more than a "we'll write a letter" response and my request to relocate was flatly denied.

Well, there's an out in our lease. If we're buying a house, we're out. Therefore, I'm buying a house. Ha. Take that, fuckers.

My life is complicated. Well, not really. But there are aspects of it that are not obvious to outside observers.

I've been dating the love of my life for a long time. In about 2 weeks, it'll be nine years. The first four years or so was back in college. We’ve been living together for most of the time, to one degree or another.

That’s a long time. Well beyond the time most people stop dating and get married.

This isn’t to say we’re not committed to each other. Nor should it imply that we don’t want to get married. We do. We’ve discussed it many times, and I’ve asked her to marry me several times. She always says sure, but we never really get around to doing anything about it. There are a lot of reasons for that. I don’t particularly want to go into them, but let’s just say there are a number of issues that have helped us procrastinate. Not because we don’t want to, but because we consider the whole affair damned annoying.

Now, for the cheap seats, I’m going to say it real loud and clear.

NO! I DO NOT KNOW WHEN WE’RE GETTING MARRIED. NOR DO I FEEL LIKE LISTENING TO YOUR OPINION OF HOW LONG WE’VE BEEN DATING.

Thank you. Additionally

NEITHER OF US HAS EXPRESSED ANY DESIRE FOR CHILDREN, SO BACK THE FUCK OFF ALREADY

All clear? Good.

I don’t know why people feel the need to talk to me about this time and time again. I don’t feel pressured to get married. I don’t particularly feel that a ceremony will somehow make our relationship different in anything but legal status. Our commitment is already as cemented as it will ever be.

As for the child issue, I’m closer to 30 every day and damn if I feel like I’m mature enough to raise a child. Plus, they’re a serious hassle! And I’ve been told that should we find ourselves saddled with a tiny monster, it might be a good idea to cut back on drinking. And frankly, that’s a deal breaker for both of us!

Back on point, I’m tired of it. Don’t tell me what to do. Don’t offer snide comments about your preconceived notions of how a relationship should work and when I’m supposed to ‘move along to the next level’. No, I don’t actually think it’s just a matter of time before we start really wanting a child.

Thank you for you opinion. Next time you feel the need to offer it to me, consider me well informed on the issue and capable of making my own choices. Also, consider that the next time I hear this crap; I’m going to spend the entire conversation contemplating the best way to smash your larynx in.

Movie magic. I love it. And I hate it.

When you sit down to watch a movie, you knowingly suspend your disbelief to immerse yourself in the story. However, there are times that my mind just steps back and refuses to accept.

The funny thing is that the more fantastical the concept, the less likely it is to set off my alarms. A sci-fi movie wants to accept that all aliens are humanoid? The Matrix? I’m on board baby. I’ll forgive the counter always running down to 1 second left before it’s stopped. Want the ship to go past light speed? No problem.

The problem I’ve got is when things you know are incorrect are crucial building blocks to a movie. I have dozens of examples.

Why do sci-fi movies always show troopers standing up firing in lines? Didn’t that go out of fashion with muskets? Somehow, the future involves forgetting that firing from cover is smarter than standing up in the open.

I saw one on the sci-fi channel. There was a black hole. On earth. In a laboratory access tunnel. It was sucking wrenches, loose equipment, and people in. But the wall right next to it? Oh, that’s fine. Elementary physics surrenders.

Why, in Die Hard 2, don’t the planes all land in other airports around the region? There are about 60 bazillion of them within an hour of DC. The other traffic controllers in the area would certainly have no problem redirecting them. The movie kinda goes to hell unless you ignore that glaringly obvious flaw.

I saw Blade. I’m not proud. The vampire used sun block to prevent himself from frying in daylight. What? No vampire before him ever tried that? None? Really?

Remember the Core? Yeah. That film killed my disbelief in about 30 seconds flat. And that was the commercial. Sure it’s sci-fi, but for whatever reason, it fails to help me suspend my disbelief.

Gone in 60 Seconds. The guy out runs a HELICOPTER because he clicked his nitrous. Down a drainage canal. Right. Sure pal.

In Indiana Jones, they jump out of a plane on a raft. They hit a mountain side. Slide down it, and land in a raging river rapid. No injuries. Okie dokie.

I don’t mind a mild reversion of reality to help drive a movie home. I gotcha. And as a viewer I should be willing to surrender to the enjoyment of the film. But I swear there are things that my mind will not accept. Movie magic allows me to grant leeway. But somehow I’m incapable of ignoring something that should be realistic but becomes blatantly unrealistic.

I've yelled about this subject until I'm blue in the face. I've screamed so long and loud that I'm starting to hear the echoes of my words repeating time and time again.

The most important part of our democracy is encapsulated in the first amendment to the constitution. I honestly believe that. The second portion of that amendment in particular, derives the basic premise of democracy. I feel it’s more basic than the freedom of religion or the press. In fact, I’ll go so far as to say those rights are both derivative of the freedom of speech.

Our ability to stand up and speak our minds is the most basic concept in a republic, such as ours. We must be able to speak or we can not inform our leaders how we want them to run the country. We must speak at length about our religious, moral, political, and social values. In order to allow ourselves this right, we must allow everyone this most precious of rights. In order to speak about issues important to us, we must allow those that speak against us their right to speak, no matter how repugnant that speech may be.

That’s the problem with speech. Many people don’t seem to understand that speech is not just things we agree with. It must also be things we are repulsed by; things that cause us to stand up and take offense.

The shield of that freedom is wide. And we all stand behind it. There have been numerous attempts over the years to push people out. To say that certain things shouldn’t be said. They justify these claims by making claims against the speaker. By claiming the speech harms others. It hurts our children. It offends this or that minority. It’s treason to speak against the government. We don’t stand for that kind of talk. It's not American.

On top of that, we have tried to say that certain mediums do not apply as speech. Books. Photography. Movies. Music. Art. Clothing. Pornography. Games. Through the ages, one medium after another has come under fire.

It all seems to be a never ending quest to preserve some image of society as constant. To silence critics and radicals. To suppress ideas outside the mainstream. To brand groups as subversive. To protect society or our symbols. To isolate it from the changes in the world.

Our ability to speak our views is powerful. It’s not just my right to say this is my opinion. Or yours. We must stand up for our rights by allowing those we hate the most to have the right to speak their mind as well.

If we can’t do that; if we won’t do that, we’ve already given up our most precious possession.

To reject the word is to reject the human search. ~Max Lerner

I feel sorry for the upcoming generation of women, high school girls especially. It seems that parents are less inclined to get their boys circumcised these days. The current rate is down and it's dropping (I don't recall the actual numbers). Sure there's lots of facets on this problem both religious and emotional but usually the argument boils down to the question - does it really benefit men medically?

The medical viewpoint is pretty neutral. If it does provide a medical benefit it's pretty small, but when it comes to a guy's dick maybe decreasing the risk of getting and transmitting AIDS or getting cancer, curing chronic inflammation, etc. is worth it. Some articles point to decreased sensitivity (is that a good thing or a bad thing?). Some articles insist that it's easier for parents who were raised in a generation of circumcision to maintain for a child.

Putting aside the whole religious issue, and Popes who have weighed in on the touchy subject (to the contrary btw - three Popes and the Mormons said that being circumcised had no bearing on faith), "art" seems to have a very definite opinion.

Take a look at most male nudes, at least the famous ones, and you'll see that esthetics deem a circumcised male to be a handsome male - well at least that portion of him. It's not like I have census data on the matter, but from the discussions I can recall at college it seems that most of the females who discussed the topic would agree. I can clearly recall several women who blandly stated that they would never "do" an uncircumcised man, obviously they had their preferences. I can also recall one woman who said she preferred circumcised men because they didn't "jump up and run off to the bathroom to wash the minute they were done". The post-coital cuddle being an essential part that uncircumcised men were missing.

I suppose the saddest story in the current news on the topic is the divorced couple that has gone to court over the proposed circumcision of their son. The boy is 8 and has had several bouts of inflammation. The mom, whom he lives with and has the rights over his medical care, has decided he needs to have this done because it's chronic. Her Ex-husband has fought this because her new husband is a Jew and claims they are only doing this for religious reasons. Sad. Imaging having your parents in court when you're 8 arguing about your dick. Kid is destined to be an axe murderer if there ever was one. I feel for him.

It's difficult I guess, for some people to make the decision when they have a baby. And of course you can't exactly ~ask the infant what his preferences are going to be 20 years from now when it might have an opinion on the matter. Yes it's something you can't exactly give back, but then again - if it's something you never had... how can you miss it?

This is less of a rant and more of a grudge-ridden acceptance of reality. At the core of the matter is the little bit of sand and metal that runs so much of our lives - silicon. Silicon is the new gold - we need it, love it, depend on it, it runs so many aspects of our lives, our cars, our homes, hospitals, national defense, credit cards, gas stations... the list goes on and on. Gold still may be the unit that upholds our currency, but silicon is what runs our lives and keeps things in order. The thing is - unlike gold which is an inert metal (barring electrical contacts) silicon is a 'performing' element. We shape it into rectangles, mix it with exotic ingredients and voila - produce chips. But not all chips are created equal.

There are multiple grades of chips; worthless crap, shitty, Ok and damn good. More like toy grade, consumer grade, automotive grade and military grade if you want the real categories. The bins are allocated by the ability to perform in different ranges of temperature, and they categorize a chip by testing it. Yep, that's right one batch could suck and be consumer, the next could be military. But what happens when the chip is right on the edge? That's when someone is going to have a fucking hell of a time, kind of like I did the other night.

The goal was to build a new computer, pretty simple really once you pick all the compatible parts. A few screws here, a few connectors there, snap, snap, plug, plug, and poof - instant computer. We managed to assemble all the parts in maybe an hour or two at the most... but the fun came when trying to load up the OS. I say fun in a masochistic sense of course, but I'm sure you sensed that.

So lets jump into this little vignette. It's 8pm and the essential hardware is assembled, Motherboard, CPU, Video, CD/DVD drives, hard drives, even a floppy drive. It's wired, it's powered, it boots and... run through the bios without a hitch. It's a digital happyland, until we stick in the OS CD. The OS begins to load and... pukes up a big blue hairball. Nice. Let the debugging begin.

So if you're reasonably certain that you've assembled the hardware correctly (double and n-tuple checking in the process) and it seems to boot where do you start? Well if it's having trouble copying files to the hard drive then it must be the hard drives fault yes?

If you agreed with me you need to be bitch slapped like I was with a big, stanky, wet fish - a red herring to be exact. I spent hours tracking down leads on the bios, on the SATA interface, swapping in IDE drives, swapping them back out. We had 2 different OS CDs and they didn't react the same - which lead to further confusion and suspicion on the part of the innocent hard drive. One wouldn't load, the other would load but not copy files. Bios settings? Uh, where to start? So many inscrutable options, so many possibilities to screw things royally. The night went on and on in a blur of manufacturer FAQ's, forums and Google News Groups.

The next morning the digital heavens opened when it was discovered that the CD/RW drive was... partially defective. It wasn't broken enough to fail completely - but just enough to prevent the proper operation of any other device on the same bus AND faulty enough not to fully read material it was stuffed with. Once it was removed from the bus and the OS CD was put into the remaining drive things went back to business as usual, OS installed, drivers configured, things went without a hitch.

For the record the CD drive had ASUS branding. In the past I've bought Sony's and not seen any issue, but then again I have 5 - 8 year old CD drives by no-name manufacturers lying around that still work as well. Maybe you get what you pay for, the ASUS drive was cheaper than the other drives but then again since it was a partial failure all you can say what that the manufacturer didn't fully burn in the drive to test it.

I'd like to say I resent the time wasted by the crappy drive, but I really can't. Yes it's nice when everything works perfectly the first time, but while it was annoying it was also challenging and a test of endurance that I have to admit was enjoyable in some masochistic sense. In the end organic matter won over silicon, at least in this round.

until someone breaks a tooth. It's especially not fun when the someone is me.

For every American flag stepped on, burned, flung to the ground in anger and in protest, there is a company out there that mass-produces this flag. You have to wonder... what would the protesters think if they finally figured out that they were actually supporting the United States economy by purchasing multitudes of U.S. flags from American companies for protest?

I like irony.

But the reality is that they are probably just supporting third world country sweat shops.

SO, I got this email glurge from one of my friends. For some reason, he just doesn’t understand that I don’t pass them along to five of my friends. In fact, I very rarely do much more than look at the title before pressing the delete key.

For some reason, something about the title made me open it. I wish I hadn’t. I really do. Because now, I’m ranting about it. And despite my love of ranting, I would honestly prefer not to have a reason.

So, what did it say? Well, it told me to prove I’m an atheist. At this point, I cocked an eyebrow and moved forward, curious to see how the intended to prove something like a religious belief, or lack thereof.

The basic premise is that if you’re an atheist, you’ll have no problem standing up and saying the Lord’s Prayer loudly and clearly. Doesn’t have to be in a crowded room or anything. Just the next time you’re alone, say it out loud three times. The idea, I’m assuming, is that if you’re an atheist, they’re just meaningless words and you shouldn’t have a problem saying it.

And since that is just a collection of words, they suggest you follow that up with the following, also three times:

SATAN, IN THE NAME OF JESUS, I COMMAND YOU TO LEAVE MY MIND, BODY, LIFE, AND SOUL TODAY IN THE NAME OF JESUS!
YOU HAVE NO DOMINION OVER MY LIFE!
I SUBMIT MY BODY, LIFE, AND SOUL TO GOD, IN THE NAME OF JESUS!
THE BLOOD OF JESUS! THE BLOOD OF JESUS! THE BLOOD OF JESUS AGAINST YOU SATAN!
I APPLY THE BLOOD OF JESUS OVER MY LIFE!
I APPLY THE BLOOD OF JESUS OVER WHERE I LIVE AT!
I APPLY THE BLOOD OF JESUS OVER MY FAMILY!
I DO IT ALL IN THE NAME OF JESUS
THE BLOOD OF JESUS! THE BLOOD OF JESUS! THE BLOOD OF JESUS AGAINST YOU SATAN!
IN JESUS NAME I CALL IT DONE! AMEN AND AMEN!
IN JESUS CHRIST'S HOLY NAME I PRAY, AMEN!

Now, I made several attempts to describe to you the amount of eye rolling I did upon reading those words. There just aren’t words. If you can figure out some way of describing your reaction, I welcome it. I’m simply unable to capture it into words. What the hell is with the Blood of Jesus bit in there anyway? Seems a little overused in there. Maybe it’s just me.

Anyway, back to the rant, I’m curious how saying or refusing to say those two chants would offer any effective prove of religious beliefs. I mean, from a generic stand point, an atheist that stands up and spouts those two little ditties hasn’t proven his atheism. In fact, anyone hearing him might incorrectly assume he’s found religion, if only briefly. And there is always the problem that some people, even atheists, have a problem with screaming vows and prayers into the heavens that they don’t believe. Not because they’re afraid that God will smite them down for it, but because they consider it a LIE.

Finally, who gives a rat’s ass anyway? Prove you’re an atheist? That’s just about as reasonable as proving someone is Christian. Sure, he says he is and goes to Church, but it could all be a clever ruse. He could be a Buddhist, but you never know. He could be faking it. Why would we assume atheists are any less sure of their beliefs? If someone tells me they don’t believe in God, I tend to believe them, much like I believe those that tell me they believe in Allah, God, or Zeus. You believe what you believe.

There is no proof. And even if there was, I sincerely doubt it would take the form or reading prayers (and whatever that other thing was) out loud.

He’s out there. Somewhere. Among the great masses of humanity, he’s out there, among us. I know he meant to be helpful. He meant to stride forward and improve the world.

What he built was one of the more annoying communications devices ever. The users love it. They have no problem using it all damn day long. The problem is, those users bring the rest of us along for the ride.

What do I speak of? Oh, it’s the Walkie Talkie phone. In an ideal universe, these things are wonderful. Cheaper. Easier. The works.

But in practice, some users need to be shot. On sight. No warning. Just all of the sudden, shotgun to the face.

You see, the problem these people have is that they are DEAF. They must be. Because the volume on these things is high enough to block out jet engines. They’re holding them are arms length screaming back and forth. They bring all of us into their conversation. To make matters worse, every sentence ends with that even louder CHIRP! As if the 120 decibel conversations wasn’t enough to piss you off.

It’s another wonderful advancement that is destroyed by the inconsiderate wretches that use it.

CHIRP
Oh yeah. I heard Sally was sick.
CHIRP
Yeah. She’s out not at work today
CHIRP
Has anyone called her?
CHIRP
Don’t think so
CHIRP
Heh.
CHIRP
So, what’s the plan for lunch?
CHIRP
Dunno
CHIRP
Wanna grab something?
CHIRP
Sure
CHIRP
Where?
CHIRP
Geno’s?
CHIRP
Nah
CHIRP
Pats?
CHIRP
Nah.
CHIRP
Fine. You pick.
CHIRP

I swear, they must die. Horribly. Something very slow, and painful. I’m open to suggestions.

Are we fighting a war on terror or aren't we? Was it or was it not started by Islamic people who brought it to our shores on September 11,2001? Were people from all over the world, mostly Americans, not brutally murdered that day, in downtown Manhattan, across the Potomac from our nation's capitol and in a field in Pennsylvania?

Did nearly three thousand men, women and children die a horrible, burning or crushing death that day, or didn't they?

And I'm supposed to care that a copy of the Koran was "desecrated" when an overworked American soldier kicked it or got it wet? Well, I don't.

I don't care at all.

I'll start caring when Osama bin Laden turns himself in and repents for incinerating all those innocent people on 9/11. I'll care about the Koran when the fanatics in the Middle East start caring about the Holy Bible, the mere possession of which is a crime in Saudi Arabia.

I'll care when Abu Musab al-Zarqawi tells the world he is sorry for hacking off Nick Berg's head while Berg screamed through his gurgling slashed throat.

I'll care when the cowardly so-called insurgents" in Iraq come out and fight like men instead of disrespecting their own religion by hiding in mosques.

I'll care when the mindless zealots who blow themselves up in search of nirvana care about the innocent children within range of their suicide bombs.

I'll care when the American media stops pretending that their First Amendment liberties are somehow derived from international law instead of the United States Constitution's Bill of Rights.

In the meantime, when I hear a story about a brave marine roughing up an Iraqi terrorist to obtain information, please know this: I don't care.

When I see a fuzzy photo of a pile of naked Iraqi prisoners who have been humiliated in what amounts to a college hazing incident, rest assured that I truly don't care.

When I see a wounded terrorist get shot in the head when he is told not to move because he might be booby-trapped, you can take it to the bank that I don't care.

When I hear that a prisoner, who was issued a Koran and a prayer mat, and fed "special" food that is paid for by my tax dollars, is complaining that his holy book is being "mishandled," you can absolutely believe in your heart of hearts that I don't care.

And oh, by the way, I've noticed that sometimes it's spelled "Koran" and other times "Quran." Well, Jimmy Crack Corn and --- you guessed it...... I don't care.

Should you choose the latter, then please don't complain when more atrocities committed by radical Muslims happen here in our great country.

This rant was written by Pamela Foster of Atlanta Georgia, and submitted to me by a very good friend of mine, Dale Johnston. I would normally never reprint something like this.. but Im not sure I could have ranted any better myself!

In Northport NY, graduation time has come. And with it, high school year books have arrived. Like many schools, Northport allows seniors to post a little blurb about themselves. Quotes, memories, meaningful tidbits, a brief bio. That sort of thing. However, two students decided to put in something that has stirred up a bit of a controversy. So much so, that the school is rushing to find a means to cover up their quotes. Right now, they’re thinking stickers or replacement pages.

What could these horrible quotes be? They must be really bad, right? Well, see for yourself:

Strength lies not in defense, but in attack.

The great masses of people ... will more easily fall victims to a big lie than to a small one.

The problem with the quotes is their origin. They are taken from a translation of Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler. And he was a very very naughty person. One might say he was an evil bastard.

However, despite his insanity on many things, nearly all historians and politicians agree that on some issues he was a certifiable genius. This is particularly true when you examine his ability to manipulate the public as a mass.

Look at the first quote. That quote, in all of its glory, is not Nazi propaganda. It’s a statement of strategy. Hitler’s view was clear. Regardless of the situation, military, or politically, you’re better off attacking your opponents then defending yourself. From a military perspective it was very successful for a very long time. Politically, his attack-first strategy got him in control of a country and eventually much of Europe (via the military use of this ideal).

Now, the second quote. It’s a clear cut example of how Hitler manipulated his people. It’s a famous quote that is as true today as it was when Adolf wrote it down. Many have even said it’s truer now and that the US government is a master of its usage. I have no doubt in my mind that this is the meaning intended by out little high school students here.

What I’m getting at is this: just because an evil bastard said something doesn’t mean it’s not true. In fact, I think the words of such evil bastards should be closely examined and given due thought. I would hope graduating students would be mature enough to look upon those words and recognize their meaning. I mean, they are mature enough to graduate, vote and join the Army. We should trust them to see a mass murdering bastard’s words and take them for what they are: a brief lesson in history. A lesson we should know well, lest that history repeat itself.

You may say that a yearbook is not the appropriate place for such statements. Perhaps that’s true. But the students thought enough of those quotes to include them under their senior pictures. Maybe their neo-Nazi fucks. Maybe they just wanted a chance to be controversial one last time. Or maybe they just wanted people to think about it.

I was driving through an area that's predominantly light industry or technology this morning. Something caught my eye as I passed by that made me realize that every strata of society can be easily identified by what it considers disposable waste.

In a slum you might see disgarded food bags, six-pack holders, broken plastic toys. In a middle class neighborhood you might see carboard boxes from bulk stores for paper towels, diapers or toilet paper. In rich neighborhoods you probably dont see any trash, but I imagine if there were it would be foam packing for plasma TV's or empty bottles of expensive beer in recycling containers.

The item I saw this morning as I drove past was a large gray static bag, complete with yellow sticker flipping along in the breeze. It reminded me that trash is not just part of the environment, but a hallmark of those that occupy it as well.

Everyone who has religion has an image of "their" god. It's "theirs" because it's not the same as some other religions god. And obviously it has to be different because if they were the same god then the where would the difference in religion be? A christian god, a jewish god, a muslim god, and sub-flavors as well, catholic god, lutheran god, liberal god, universalist god, vengeful god, apathetic god, it goes on and on.

So when it comes to identifying the good, the positive in a religion, the god belongs solely to that particular denomination of worshipper. Theirs. Ours. Mine. For me, not you. You're wrong, I'm right. Whatever.

The funny part is if you ask either side of a religious divide what the evil was, where the bad came from, what represents the demonic they'd easily agree... it was the other person. Who's the force of Satan if you're jewish? Who's the minion of Hell of you're muslim? What are the forces of the unholy if you're christian? It's those other guys, the ones with the other god.

I find that incredibly humorous, that humans can immediately identify the evil as human, but have trouble agreeing on the source or identity of good.

The world is my ashtray

The world is my ashtray and I shall not care
To dispose of my ashes or butts anywhere
I can fling them aside, as I drive or I walk
I can let the sparks fall to the grass as I talk

The beaches are there for my butts to stub
Looks of loathing or hate from non-smokers I snub
Forest fires in summer, give me no pause
It's my right to my smoke that alone is my cause

It's glamorous, sexy, risque, oh so chic
Smoking makes me thin, my teeth white, my hair sleek
It's beautiful to smoke, I look and feel great,
Air is free, unpossessed, so I don't get the hate

From non-smokers, from children, who all cry their rights
Are violated when I blow smoke from my 'lights
In restaurants, in airplanes, in busses and cars
I especially don't like when they try and restrict bars

It's my life, I don't care, I'll do what I will
It's not my fault if you're exposed to crap that can kill
The world is my ashtray and my smoke's in your face
I'll share my cancer to you and the whole human race.

As before with Sadam's sons, we're being pummeled with images of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi's bloody shell. "Look" says the media "a corpse worth viewing! This makes us better than Aljazeera and their parading of war torn bodies and headless hostages across the screen on a regular basis." But it's not really enough to say that the bad guy is dead and to give proof of the demise. This little tid-bit shows up on Yahoo's main page as "important news".

BAGHDAD, Iraq - Abu Musab al-Zarqawi lived for 52 minutes after a U.S. warplane bombed his hideout northeast of Baghdad, and he died of extensive internal injuries consistent with those caused by a bomb blast, the U.S. military said Monday.

So... what you're saying is that he died in pain?

"It was very evident he had extremely massive internal injuries," Caldwell said.

Al-Zarqawi died 24 minutes after coalition forces arrived, he said.

Jones said the autopsy conducted Saturday showed that al-Zarqawi died from injuries to his lungs.

"Blast waves from the two bombs caused tearing, bruising of the lungs and bleeding," he said. "There was no evidence of firearm injuries."

So he didn't just die in pain, but probably a tremendous amount of pain. Why is this news? Unless... This is really a "cover our asses" story where they found the man, already incapacitated from the blast, but really wanted to make sure that he was going to die and helped him along his way - hence the "there was no evidence of firearm injuries" line. Hrm... hell - who knows. It just struck me as odd.

So after a hectic afternoon I decide to take the family and two friends out to dinner to unwind. It's a nice thing to do on a shitty weekday after running around like a loon. So I call a local Italian chain place, good enough for a moderately priced meal, brick oven offerings, plenty acceptable when the other choice is to cook and clean up.

I call ahead. It's the practical thing to do. Ten minutes? Sure we can do that. Hop in the car, drive over get in and... there's two tables that can fit more than four and they have families with small kids. I mean toddlerites. Well it's not fucking going to be 10 minutes anything. I call an alternative place, hell at least they're honest... 25 minutes. Sure I'll stick it out here, everyone else is game.

So we wait. It seems like the other families (well moms with their tykes) are aware of our presence and go to extra lengths to take longer. The manager comes over an apologizes. Twice. Whatever. Eventually one family gets their act in gear when presented with the bill and we get a seat. But during this wait I had ample opportunity to observe the group in the first booth.

Two women, probably in their 30's, richer than they deserve with nice hair, fake tans, coach bags and accessories. I mean the kids. The kids were accessories because they sure the fuck didn't treat them in any way I'd recognize as parents. One little girl was at the window, or in the entry vestibule with a crayon in her hand drawing on the goddamn glass and standing in everyone's way. People trying to enter or exit the restaurant had to try and get past her without hurting her or letting her out. The other toddler had a salt shaker/grinder in both hands and her mouth firmly clamped to the top. I watched in complete horror as the "mother" took the shaker with ropes of salt induced spit trailing from it, wipe it briefly and hand it back. Hand it back!??!?! This was the property of the restaurant and I promise that no customer after them wanted their salt suspended in a spit solution.

Our booth was on the other side of these whores and I kept looking daggers at these fucking bitchbags and their spawn. They're happily chatting away, picking at their long-cold plates letting everyone else in the restaurant be responsible for their offspring. No real mother would let a toddler out of their sight for more than 15 seconds much less let hover at the door with patrons entering and exiting and a busy street five paces beyond.

It became even further apparent that these self-invested bitches lacked any sort of maternal skills when the smaller of the two brats tried to climb on a chair for waiting patrons and took a tumble. They look dumbly at each other, 'OMG how did everyone ELSE let this happen to MY child?' One goes and scoops up the wailing child, suddenly the second brat kicks in as well. It's a safety mechanism humans still retain - babies will take up sympathetic wailing if they feel the group is endangered even if they aren't directly injured or threatened. Ffs the kids knew that they were the victims of shoddy nurturing. They had no sense of security even WITH their own mothers holding them. I wanted to cheer. Instead when one "mother" looks up at me for support so I sarcastically say "Way to go" and give her the glare. I think she didn't even parse it. It was pretty impressive since by then my hate was palpable.

Brats finally settled, these momdroids decide to keep the brats penned in the booth with them. The one on our side decides to hang over the top of the seat into our area. The little monster even starts playing with the hair of someone on our side. Then it spied the hot rolls on our table and started making sounds and reaching for them. Slowly, glaring at this infestation I take out a roll and begin to eat it, staring daggers. The vile progeny starts to cry again the mother-creature pulls it partly back into the booth, surprised I guess by the fact that we refused to amuse her child for her.

They did eventually leave, but I was so put off that I didn't enjoy my dinner at all. It must be a nice life to marry some guy for his money, pretty much ensure you'll be set for life by having one of his kids and then spend the rest of your life shopping, tanning and letting paid professionals or society at large nurture and raise your child. You know their children will continue the pattern, since obviously they will never know what it's like have a real mother.

Listen up bitches, if I'm ever alone, or with someone else I know who feels like I do I WILL give you my attitude and a double-fucking handful of it as well. Maybe a hostile adult cursing you out in front of your kids will wake you up, probably not, but hell it's worth a try especially if it makes me feel better.

Whores. For real.

I refuse to name the bitch. I refuse to give her the space in my rant. She has no respect for the dead or those they left behind.

You may or may not figure out my rant. I don't care. She wants the notoriety. The infamy. I refuse to name the bitch.

The wretch, concentred all in self,
Living, shall forfeit fair renown,
And, doubly dying, shall go down
To the vile dust, from whence he sprung,
Unwept, unhonour'd, and unsung.

I refuse to name the bitch.

I was stuck in traffic the other day with little else to do than ponder life's immutable mysteries and I found myself laughing at one little concept that popped into my head.

What if facial piercings interacted with cell phone usage... in a negative way? What if all of a sudden people with a lot of metal shit in their faces suddenly had their heads explode? Personally I think it's a hilarious idea. Definitely one worth starting an urban legend about. One could make up all sorts of bogus dilutions of physics along the lines of "well the stainless steel used in piercings sets up an exponential feedback which induces a vibration in the power supply of the phone that results in detonation" and "this only happens with new ultra-slim phones due to the more powerful, smaller batteries they carry", and of course this doesn't happen to people with just earrings because "gold is more or less a neutral element, and silver earrings just don't have sufficient density to set off the reaction....unlike 420 Stainless". There could be warning signs made up with little icons of barbels and cell phones with a plus sign between them and an equals a skull after. There could be slomo animations of people talking on their phones with their heads splattering like the Super-Fly flash from Joe Cartoon.

I'd love to see goth chicks holding their phones at arms length and screaming into them. It would be fucking hysterical.

Anyway I was kinda bored and this kept me amused for a few minutes.