World of Suck

Again, in the frivolous lawsuit category, another waste of oxygen has decided to make himself known to us. This time it's John Kiel Patterson of Louisiana. This particular loser has decided to bring a lawsuit against Apple on the basis of the following logic: If you listen to very loud music over an extended period of time it can damage your hearing. Yes. Lawsuit. Yes. Moron wasting precious time on earth.

Now it's not like he's actually lost his hearing as a result of using an iPod. No. It's that he COULD lose his hearing. His issue is that he decided to buy a product which could hurt him if he was stupid enough to use it in a specific way. Further he wants to make this a class-action suit against Apple.

This is what the John K. Moron's Lawyer had to say:

''He's bought a product which is not safe to use as currently sold on the market,'' Berman said. ''He's paying for a product that's defective, and the law is pretty clear that if someone sold you a defective product they have a duty to repair it.''

I don't know - it's pretty clear that the only thing defective is his client.

You know Apple does ship each iPod with a warning label;"permanent hearing loss may occur if earphones or headphones are used at high volume." But this apparently isn't enough.

In France Apple was forced to pull iPods and upgrade the software to limit sound output to 100 decibels (right now an off the shelf iPod can put out more than 115). Which is probably where our boy got his idea. But when it comes down to brass tacks, the fact is that while an iPod could hurt Mr. Patterson's hearing, I'm betting it could do far more bodily harm if it was shoved up his asshole sideways at 35rpm.

Of course this is just speculation... the best idea would be for him to try it and find out.