World of Suck

I don't know about you, but I'm fed up with hearing about Hillary and Obama. I'm at the point that I don't care. I don't even care about John McCain. I don't care what Obama eats, what Hillary cries about next, what Reverend Wright is raging about, what the Weather Underground guy thinks or does or what John McCain thinks about any of this.

I despise looking at or listening to any of them on TV. Hillary's shrill voice and her continual usage of "I believe..." "I believe..." or Obamas over-usage of "Yes we can..." or McCain's over-usage of "...at the end of the day.." and his hand gestures while speaking. Bleh.

Dear God.. help us, help us quickly.

This election cycle was doomed from the first day of active campaigning. I would almost bet that there has never been a larger under-qualified group of Presidential candidates in any single election cycle ever in the history of the United States.

I hope we can still write-in candidates in because my vote is going for Wyle E. Coyote.

COPIAGUE, N.Y. (AP) -- A Long Island man who flipped his finger at a police cruiser and then popped a wheelie on his motorcycle is recovering from injuries after crashing.

Well, that was a self-resolving situation wasn't it? First being stupid enough to flip off the cops, *then* popping a wheelie, and finally crashing and burning right in front of them.

Here's to Frank Patti, 26, of West Islip, just two seconds (and probably one helmet) short of a well deserved Darwin Award. At least he should get honorable mention.

It sucks when your own body betrays you. And even worse when the doctors don't realize when they are outside their expertise.

To understand why I am thankful, one needs to know how low my life got. It started with an itchy leg and the grand finale was a rash/hives that encompassed nearly everything from my neck to my ankles. The itching could make me go insane at times, the burning sensation made most clothing painful, the swelling made it hard to move and parts of the "rash" were down right gross. I realize it could have been worse, but it was pretty bad.

Then there was the medical interventions. The cream for a fungal infection did nothing. Stopping one medication did nothing. The antibiotics, topically and orally, helped. Stopping another medication helped, but I was still a mess. The scabies treatment made it all worse, much worse. My doctor finally gave me a referral (needed by my insurance) to a dermotologist, who shook her head at everything my doc put me through. The final diagnosis? Idiopathic dermatitis - In other words, a rash that appears after I have a problem on one part of my body. The goopy steroid ointment is a modern miracle. The rash is less itchy and I don't look like a human balloon.

Will I ever know what started it all? Probably not.

All I can say is I am thankful to have my life back - for every step to not hurt, to make it up and down the stairs without a death grip in the banister, for my clothes to not be devices of torture, to actually have ankles and feet again.

I am thankful for many things that others take for granted.

I bought a bird feeder. I hung
It on my back porch and filled
It with seed. What a beauty of
A bird feeder it is, as I filled it
Lovingly with seed. Within a
Week we had hundreds of birds
Taking advantage of the
Continuous flow of free and
Easily accessible food.

But then the birds started
Building nests in the boards
Of the patio, above the table,
And next to the barbecue.

Then came the poop. It was
Everywhere: on the patio tile,
The chairs, the table ...
Everywhere!

Then some of the birds
Turned mean. They would
Dive bomb me and try to
Peck me even though I had
Fed them out of my own
Pocket.

And others birds were
Boisterous and loud. They
Sat on the feeder and
Squawked and screamed at
All hours of the day and night
And demanded that I fill it
When it got low on food.

After a while, I couldn't even
Sit on my own back porch
Anymore. So I took down the
Bird feeder and in three days
The birds were gone. I cleaned
Up their mess and took down
The many nests they had built
All over the patio.

Soon, the back yard was like
It used to be.... Quiet, serene
And no one demanding their
Rights to a free meal.

Now let's see.
Our government gives out
Free food, subsidized housing,
Free medical care, and free
Education and allows anyone
Born here to be an automatic
Citizen.

Then the illegals came by the
Tens of thousands. Suddenly
Our taxes went up to pay for
Free services; small apartments
Are housing 5 families; you
Have to wait 6 hours to be seen
By an emergency room doctor;
Your child's 2nd grade class is
Behind other schools because
Over half the class doesn't speak
English.

Corn Flakes now come in a
Bilingual box; I have to
'press one' to hear my bank
Talk to me in English, and
People waving flags other
Than 'Old Glory' are
Squawking and screaming
In the streets, demanding
More rights and free liberties.

Just my opinion, but maybe
it's time for the government
To take down the bird feeder.

So true.. so true.

As the days count down, and his credibility remains in the crapper W feels little or no compulsion to even try and tell the truth any more. At least before he used to humor America as he tried to put on a straight face, these days he doesn't even go that far:

WASHINGTON (AP) -- President Bush put politics ahead of the facts Tuesday as he sought to blame Congress for high energy prices, saying foreign suppliers are pumping just about all the oil they can and accusing lawmakers of blocking new refineries.

Facts? What facts? The only fact W ever knew that mattered was that he was the president and immune from laws, conscience and the will of the people he was elected to serve.

Yeah, yeah it's hardly news and less than blog-worthy but still cathartic none the less...

I get a kick out of reading the headlines in my spam-box before I delete them. There's almost always a few gems that make me smile. Here's a few from today:

• Hugest Ass! CLICK THE IMAGE TO DOWNLOAD THE VIDEO
• Invitation to world blowjob day
• Titanic dimension without much effort! Short and thin weenies provoke female derision, so take care to increase it!
  Let this wonderful treatment come to the rescue of your manliness!
• Brad pitt wants to get closer

It's almost like a turing test for spam-bots, the output is amusingly phrased in a manner that only machines (and those severely unfamiliar with english grammar) can produce.

Still... world blowjob day? If it has anything to do with Brad pitt having his manliness rescued with a huge ass I know I don't want any part of it.

TEHRAN, Iran (AP) -- A top Iranian judiciary official warned Monday against the ''destructive'' cultural and social consequences of importing Barbie dolls and other Western toys.

Yes this is the same society that sports men so macho that their women have little or no say in their upbringing, marriage, dress or legal voice. And they're afraid of a doll. These big tough guys have been kicked in the nads with a little pink, plastic slipper on the end of a well tanned, if somewhat rubbery foot.

Authorities launched a campaign of confiscating Barbies from toy shops in 2002, denouncing the un-Islamic sensibilities of the iconic American doll. But the campaign was eventually dropped.

It can only be hilarious, in a sad way, that these specimens of masculinity have been reduced to chasing down toys and declaring them a "threat". Is your culture so fucking weak that you can't even let little girls play their dolls?