Apr/26
2015

It's amazing this quote exists, mainly because no one watches "outnumbered" on Fox for the content, they're just there for the slut-show.

"I want someone in there with experience. We're at war...I am a Republican, but I have faith in the dynamic duo."
-- Dog the Bounty Hunter on the Clintons, on Fox's "Outnumbered"

"That makes me so sad. I love everything about you. I think you are powerful and heroic, but the fact you are endorsing Hillary Clinton, it makes me sadder than The Notebook."
-- co-host Lisa Kennedy Montgomery, in response

Lisa, lisa, lisa. You're a stupid little twat. Do you even own an outfit that doesn't show more than 3/4 of your flesh?

I'm so sorry that your stupid runs so deep. Even when faced with fact from someone you clearly assumed would be taken in by your T&A show wasn't, you can't get a grip on reality. Powerful and heroic doesn't mean STUPID bitch. It means the opposite. Maybe if you stopped huffing hairspray and actually had an original thought?

Nah. Unlikely. Not from someone who thinks "V-Jay" stands for vagina.

Apr/25
2015

Who. The. Fuck. Cares.

Apr/24
2015

Emma says she was raped. Her two "friends" said they were abused. All three of them by the same guy. They used social media and the press to vilify Paul Nungesser in a successful Salem-Witch-Trial style campaign. Problem is, the University knows as do the three tarts in question, that Paul isn't guilty of shit.

His notoriety is the result of a campaign by Emma Sulkowicz, a fellow student who says Mr. Nungesser raped her in her dorm room two years ago. Columbia cleared him of responsibility in that case, as well as in two others that students brought against him. Outraged, Ms. Sulkowicz began carrying a 50-pound mattress wherever she went on campus, to suggest the painful burden she continues to bear. She has vowed to keep at it until he leaves the school. (NY Times)

It's funny how her buddies suddenly dropped their accusations when the school tried to dig deeper for facts. One graduated. The other "was tired of answering emails over summer vacation." I'm sorry, how serious was this? Someone abuses you and you NEVER get tired of fighting for justice.

Unless, of course, you're not getting fame and fortune for it, because in that case trying to support your bullshit just becomes a burden.

Not for Emma though! She got a thesis out of it! Woo! All for the "artist" act of hauling a mattress around. Imagine all the poor maids in Saudi Arabia that haul those mattresses around, and laundry, and scrub and wash and clean while not getting paid and getting sexually assaulted, not once but over and over. Clearly they're doing it wrong. Not Emma though, she's got style, and fame AND fortune because she got the right agents in her court.

Bitch I got two words for you: cheap whore. You sold yourself AND your sisters for an art "act" and now, when the press is on to your game, you and your family are turning up the noise: lawsuit, lawsuit, lawsuit.

I don't feel badly for Paul like I do for women AND men who genuinely have been assaulted, of which there are no shortage in NYC. But these victims don't have the money or parents to send them to an Ivy League which will tolerate a princess hauling her mattress around looking for a pea.

Those are the real victims.

Apr/23
2015

Or maybe just a prick. Or maybe both.

LA CENTER, Wash., April 23 (UPI) -- A Washington state high school student who wore a fake bomb to ask a girl to prom had the prom-posal blow up in his face when he was suspended from school.

Ibrahim Ahmad, 18, was suspended for five days from La Center High School after he donned a paintball vest loaded with fake explosives -- paper tubes attached to red wires -- and stood up in the school's cafeteria with a sign reading, "I kno it's A little Late, But I'm kinda...THE BOMB! Rilea, Will U Be My Date To Prom?"

Ahmad said his intended date, Rilea Wolfe, accepted his prom-posal, but he was soon told by administrators that he was being suspended for five days and would not be allowed to attend the dance.

"I'm Middle Eastern, and I thought the bomb was kind of funny and clever," he told The Columbian newspaper. "I wasn't wearing the vest for more than, like, 20 seconds. I asked her, took a picture, took it off, and then the school got upset."

"It didn't even look like a bomb," Ahmad told KPTV.

A cellphone video of the prom-posal showed students appeared amused by the display, but Superintendent Mark Mansell said Ahmad needed to be punished for disrupting the learning environment.

Only an asshole doesn't have a sense of humor when it comes to love. Mansell is that kind of asshole. The whole "zero tolerance" thing is overboard, especially when it comes to a silly and unrealistic joke. Disrupting? Hardly. Mansell is merely being a douche and throwing his weight around like a gorilla beating his chest.

Know what Mr. Mark (IHaveNoSenseOfHumor) Mansell? Someday Ibrahim is going to be making twice your salary and he's going to look back at your humorless shitbaggery and laugh. Like the rest of us who are laughing at your ignorance right now.

Apr/22
2015

This time the victim really *did* ask for it. No sympathy.

A man in the US city of Colorado Springs faces police action after becoming so frustrated with his computer that he took it outside and shot it eight times, police say.

"He was having technology problems, so he took it to the back alley and destroyed it," a police spokesman said.

Lucas Hinch was briefly detained for discharging a firearm within the city.
He did not realise he was breaking the law when he went "Wild West" on his machine, local media reported.

A judge is due to decide what penalty he will receive.

"He got tired of fighting with his computer for the last several months," police spokesman Jeff Strossner told the Colorado Springs Gazette.

The paper said that Mr Hinch "shot the darn thing" when ctrl+alt+delete - the traditional method used to re-boot computers - "consistently did not work" on Monday evening.

See? This is exactly what I mean: you have a gun, you use a gun, which in my opinion was completely inappropriate. What would I use? Well not a gun, because that's a waste of a good bullet. Personally I'd use a hammer, sledge-type preferred. After that a Louisville Slugger (tm) and if that wasn't available a 2x4 soaked overnight in water. Getya some good swinging action there, youbetcha.

It's all about catharsis. You just can't get that from a brief boom-boom-boom. I give him 9/10 for efficiency though.

Apr/21
2015

Again, stupid people cling to an idea because it absolves them of the genetic responsibility.

WASHINGTON, April 21 (UPI) -- If it seems redundant, it's because it is. Every major peer-reviewed study examining the relationship between vaccines and autism has come to the same conclusion -- there is no link between the two.

Now there is another study -- a big one -- and the findings are the same. There is still no link between the MMR vaccine and autism. The MMR vaccine is the immunization vaccine against measles, mumps and rubella; its underutilization is blamed for recent outbreaks of measles in the United States.

The authors of the latest study -- published this week in JAMA -- weren't oblivious to the obviousness of their findings. They argued their work was necessary because it looked specifically at populations that are at an increased risk of developing autism.

So here it is AGAIN: if your kid is autistic it's because YOU HAVE HIM THOSE GENES. Sorry you don't get to blame the environment, or the vaccines, or ozone, or Obama.

Vaccinate your fucking brat. Because the rest of us don't need your germs.

Apr/20
2015

This is a glorious case of shooting the messenger, so glorious in fact that it makes me never want to fly the airline again.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- United Airlines stopped a prominent security researcher from boarding a California-bound flight late Saturday, following a social media post by the researcher days earlier suggesting the airline's onboard systems could be hacked.

The researcher, Chris Roberts, attempted to board a United flight from Colorado to San Francisco to speak at a major security conference there this week, but was stopped by the airline's corporate security at the gate. Roberts founded One World Labs, which tries to discover security risks before they are exploited.[..]

A lawyer for Roberts said United gave him no detailed explanation Saturday why he wasn't allowed on the plane, saying instead the airline would be sending Roberts a letter within two weeks stating why they wouldn't let him fly on their aircraft.

"Given Mr. Roberts' claims regarding manipulating aircraft systems, we've decided it's in the best interest of our customers and crew members that he not be allowed to fly United," airline spokesman Rahsaan Johnson told The Associated Press. "However, we are confident our flight control systems could not be accessed through techniques he described."

Stupid Statement #1: We're not going to tell you why you can't fly but we'll send you a letter in a few weeks once we consult our lawyers and come up with something vague.

Stupid Statement #2: We decided not to let someone on board who is a SECURITY PROFESSIONAL because they highlighted potential weaknesses in our system.

Stupid Statement #3: We were sure our systems were fine anyway.

Hey United: IF YOU WERE SO FUCKING CONFIDENT THEN WHY DID YOU STOP HIM FROM FLYING?

Dipshits. You should be hiring him to tell you what's wrong, not advertising your corporate stupidity by keeping him from flying.

Apr/19
2015

At least that's what the news is implying, or maybe actually saying.

AKRON, Ohio, April 18 (UPI) -- Four puppies in a cage strapped to the roof of a minivan were rescued Friday afternoon after the vehicle was spotted speeding down a major Ohio highway.

Drivers along Interstate 76 frantically called 911 to report the dogs in a cage covered with a blue tarp. The driver of the van, who was not identified, told Akron police he didn't know it was illegal to drive with the dogs in the cage on the roof. The van was traveling about 70 mph before it was pulled over. The puppies, each about three months old, were not injured.

"He was completely astounded by the attention," Akron police Sgt. Kris Beitzel told Cleveland.com. "We had four or five cruisers there, and he couldn't imagine why."

The driver told police they were about one hour into their 300-mile trip from Ohio to Pennsylvania.
Police said the family is Mennonite, playing a factor in the decision to transport the dogs on the roof.

"That was a huge factor," Beitzel said of the family being Mennonite. "It's a different way of looking at things, and at that point our main concern was the safety of the dogs."

300 miles at 70 miles per hour. The puppies, if they were still alive by the end, would be massively dehydrated at the very least. I don't know the temperature but either way, exposed to sun or cold, it would be a horrible journey. Anyone with half a brain doesn't strap an animal in an open crate to the top of their car. A swerve or sudden stop would be horrific. A change in weather would be equally drastic. But somehow this guy was "completely astounded". I mean fuck, you see people strapping their pets to the luggage rack ALL the time don't you? Oh wait, he's a Mennonite, that explains it.

I'm sorry, wtf exactly does it explain? That being cruel and thoughtless to other living creatures is ok? After a small jaunt to the land of Wikipedia revealed no clues it's apparent that being a Mennonite doesn't automatically denote an animal-hating ethos or culture. As far as I can tell it's the same as any other orthodox club, only there aren't a lot of them around.

Anyway, dipshit was let go without any charges. Maybe he'll have a clue and let the puppies ride INSIDE the car this time. Or at least get them a proper carrier. One hopes.

Apr/18
2015

It's really hard to understand how Walmart management thought this up, or even why. None of it makes sense other than they wanted to make the layoffs a surprise and minimize bad press. If that was the thought then it backfired horribly because there's nothing the press and the public find more fascinating than lame-ass lying.

LOS ANGELES, April 18 (UPI) -- Multiple Walmart stores across the United States caught employees and customers off-guard this week when the massive retail chain abruptly shut down some of its stores and laid off more than 2,000 workers. [..]

The Arkansas-based company subsequently announced that the closures were due to plumbing problems, and would require about six months to repair.

"The issues mostly relate to clogs and water leaks in the plumbing - we have had persistent issues over the last several years," a Walmart spokesperson said.

But that wasn't the worst of it. Coinciding with the closures, about 2,200 Walmart employees also lost their jobs -- laid off.

The Walmart monopoly has taken a few knocks lately. As America's biggest employer they've seen unprecedented coordination and sympathy for striking workers who demand better pay, pay that would at least enable them to shop for basic items at the stores they work at. Clearly Walmart wanted to avoid the negative press surrounding the word "layoff" but instead have drawn attention to the fact that being lying shitbags is far worse than merely being greedy shitbags.

Some skeptics say the company's official reason for the closures simply isn't believable. If plumbing was indeed the reason for the move, they ask, why then is Walmart forcing affected employees to find other jobs -- and making them re-apply for their old positions once the locations reopen?

So really, plumbing problems? No, there aren't any plumbing problems, at least not with the buildings that have been closed. Maintenance workers have attested to the fact that they've seen nothing, employees have supported that and also, oddy, were major plumbing needed then certain building permits needed to do such repairs surely would have been filed. But guess what...?

Commissioner Victor Crist, who represents the district in which the Florida Walmart closed, is also curious and has asked Walmart to see the plumbing problems it's referring to.

"I just find what's going on very odd," he said. "I am a little curious as to why permits have not been pulled. If you want to minimize downtime you do that by doing those things in advance."

Crist said Walmart has not yet responded to his request.

Yeah no. No permits, and I have sincere doubts that any of the closed stores will be paying any plumbers overtime. And as if it weren't a stupid enough excuse, if Walmart *doesn't* do any plumbing at these locations everyone and their uncle with know how little Walmart respects not only its slave-wage employees but the state and communities they're located in.

So here to Walmart management is another WoS FUCK YOU WALMART MANAGEMENT SHITBAGS. You're greedy, lying, spineless, heartless shitbags. And now you look like complete fools. Rick as fuck, but still, fools.

Apr/17
2015

Bri likes himself some guns. Bri also hates fags. Put those two things together and you have a recipe for a booming automotive business. Emphasis on booming.

(CNN)A Michigan car repair shop owner says openly gay people are not welcome at his business. And gun owners are.

Brian Klawiter owns Dieseltec shop in Grandville.

In a statement this week on his company Facebook page, he urged gun owners to visit his business, promising a discount for those who do.

"Enough is enough," his post said, declaring that the voices of conservative Americans are getting drowned out. He pledged to operate his business the way he sees fit.

"I am a Christian. My company will be run in a way that reflects that. Dishonesty, thievery, immoral behavior, etc. will not be welcomed," he said. "I would not hesitate to refuse service to an openly gay person or persons. Homosexuality is wrong, period."

Bri seems a little confused about what kind of nation he lives in. If you own a business you're not allowed to choose your clientele based on their color, gender or sexual orientation. To me a bully waving a gun around is far more offensive than a man wearing a skirt. Telling something that being "openly gay" is an offense that prevents them from relieving the service your business provides is discrimination. And a good reason to be sued in court.

Enough really is enough. You live in America. You don't get to pick and choose which laws you like. Either you serve everyone, or don't fucking serve anyone. Just defending your homophobia as "good christian behavior" proves how ignorant people really are when it comes to their "own" religion. Nothing in the Bible says a good christian shouldn't respect others.

Free speech if fine, I'm all for it. But hate is also free. Enjoy.

Apr/16
2015

Another case of "no fucking DUH" in the news. At this rate I may have to make a special category for it.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- The shrinking space on airplanes is surely uncomfortable, but it might also be dangerous for passengers' health and safety.[..]

Following the implementation of checked-bag fees in 2008, Frederick said, more and more passengers are carrying on bags, fighting for overhead bin space. That anger carries over through the flight as passengers bump elbows on armrests and bang their knees against tray tables. She said there are more cases of air rage, many of which go unreported.

Questions were also raised if the increased density of seats means passengers won't be able to evacuate fast enough after a crash.

The Federal Aviation Administration runs various tests including how fast passengers can evacuate a plane and how fast they can put on a life preserver.[..]

Before any new jet is allowed to fly, the manufacturer must prove that everybody can evacuate in 90 seconds with half of the exits blocked.

Carry-on baggage is strewn throughout the cabin, and the test is conducted in night-like conditions. However, the cabin is not filled with smoke, and all of the passengers are physically fit, dressed in athletic clothing and know that an evacuation is coming.

"We'd like to see more realistic simulations," Frederick testified. She added that most passengers don't pay attention to pre-flight safety briefings, especially now that they can use electronic devices from gate to gate.

Ok really, you need to study this? No, you just need to board a plane today. I challenge ANYONE no matter how fit (contortionist need not apply) to get into a life jacket while in their seat. Actually I challenge them to even GET their life jacket, and open the bag in their seat.

90 seconds to empty a plane, har de fucking har har har.

Not possible, not even REMOTELY possible.

Yes, the tiny space is BAD but already the airline industry is up in arms and crying about lost profits when nothing has even been proposed. I'm sorry plane tickets are going to go up, but it's already bullshit hellish and prices are just going to go up ANYway. Might as well make it for a good reason.

Enough with charging for everything and enough with cramming people like sardines. It's nasty and unhealthy. It's just going to take a few catastrophes before the business people agree that yeah, maybe lives ARE actually worth more then a fractional increase in profits.

Apr/15
2015

Yeah it's obvious, but in this age where GOP likes their electorate as stupid as possible I doubt very much anyone will listen. Even to the obvious.

WASHINGTON, Feb. 2 (UPI) -- A new study from the Washington Center for Equitable Growth finds higher math and science scores in schools is good for the economy.

The Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development ranks the United States as 24th in math and science scores. Researchers found getting U.S. math and science scores to rank at 19th would increase national Gross Domestic Product (GDP) by 1.7 percent over 35 years. Getting the rank to 7th, where Canada is, would increase the GDP by 8.4 percent in that time, which amounts to $10 trillion.

In a nation where we're STILL having court cases over evolution, where "home schooling" is even an option (unlike, say, in Germany) and charter schools pop up as "alternatives" the US is and will continue to fall way the fuck behind. Take Texas (please, someone, really, take it off our hands) where the state was taken to court because of how poorly the schools were funded, stupidity is state sponsored for the benefit of wealthy shitbags who are afraid that if people really did put the future of the planet above tomorrow's profit that they'd all be out of a job.

The GOP likes 'em stupid. And gullible (vaccines make your kids stupid, women don't get pregnant unless they want to, and abortions are reversible.) Parents of ultra-conservatives don't want their children educated, because that might make them think and worse, QUESTION the status quo.

Education is a dirty word for conservatives. And sadly they've been a successful campaign. The cost of education is so high only the wealthiest can afford it and everyone should just stay stupid, and stay in line.

Apr/14
2015

Obama opens talks with Iran to reduce or eliminate nuclear materials that could build a bomb and Israel (and the GOP) go mad-frothing-wild. Russia, on the other hand, GIVES bombs to Iran and no one cares. HELLO?

JERUSALEM (AP) -- Israel's prime minister says he has spoken to Russia's president to convey his displeasure over Russia's decision to sell advanced anti-aircraft missiles to Iran.[..]

Netanyahu says he told Putin the move would only increase Iran's aggression in the region and undermine security in the Middle East.

So Benji gets re-elected by screaming about Arabs voting at the polls and Obama even TALKING to Iran. The GOP goes berserk and claims that the President is undermining world safety. And yet, somehow, when Russia actually goes and HANDS armaments to Iran it's hardly a blip on the horizon. DOUBLE STANDARD MUCH? Where's the outrage? Where is Benji rushing off to speak to the Russian parliament? Where is the GOP declaring war on Putin to "save Israel"?

It's nowhere. Because all the froth and anger was just political bullshit to begin with. Now, when something serious actually does happen, like say Iran shooting down Israeli warplanes it will STILL be Obama's fault. Because!

Apr/13
2015

Why ya gotta shoot things Larry? Because it's fun? Because you can't find any other way to amuse yourself?

Larry McElroy was about 100 yards (90 metres) away from the mobile home when he shot and killed the [armadillo] Sunday night.

The 9mm bullet bounced off the hard shell, hit a fence, went through a backdoor and struck his seated mother-in-law.

Investigator Bill Smith of the sheriff's office told WALB-TV: "I really think if they're going to shoot at 'varmints' and whatnot, maybe use a shotgun." (BBC)

Yay shootin' shit. Yay.

Moron.

Apr/12
2015

Significant other and I went out for breakfast. We sat in a booth. A little while later another couple is seated in the booth behind us. Then the vibration starts and stops, starts and stops. The woman seated in the bench back to back with ours (we were "same side sitters") was rapidly and vigorously bouncing her knee up and down.

Hey, at least we didn't have to put a quarter in for the vibration job. Just eating breakfast isn't my preferred place to get "magic fingers". Usually you see "magic fingers" on the beds in cheap, road-side no-tell hotels.

Well, at least we knew why the chick was skinny. Hopefully she ordered the big breakfast so she doesn't run out of energy. However, I might prefer taping her foot firmly to floor.

Apr/12
2015

As usual, a school that's been embarrassed by a 14 year old goes after him for revenge, as opposed to realizing their own fault.

HOLIDAY, Fla., April 10 (UPI) -- A Florida eighth-grader is facing felony hacking charges after he used his school's computer network to prank a teacher with a photo of two men kissing.

Pasco County Sheriff Chris Nocco said Domanik Green, 14, used an administrative-level password to access the secure computer network at Paul R. Smith Middle School in Holiday on March 31 and change the desktop background photo to one showing two men kissing.

"Even though some might say this is just a teenage prank, who knows what this teenager might have done," Nocco told the Tampa Bay Times.

Green, who was charged with felony offense against a computer system and unauthorized access, said he learned the password -- a teacher's last name -- by watching a teacher type it in two years ago.

Green and several other students were previously suspended for using the password to access the network.

"If they would have notified me it was illegal, I wouldn't have done it in the first place. But all they said was, 'You shouldn't be doing that,'" Green told WTSP-TV.

So let's state this clearly: the idiots running the school made the network password A TEACHER'S LAST NAME, which was openly typed in and a student, also a minor, used it to change a desktop image.

That's a felony?

No, that's just fucked up. Exactly like Chris Nocco's statement. The point IS Chris, that you don't get to accuse someone of doing something he didn't do. He changed a background, he didn't do anything else. What did you think he was going to do? Nuke the middle school from orbit?

The school failed the very basic network security concepts (don't use names, mix case, add symbols, etc.) and they failed to manage how users interacted with the system, nor did they CHANGE the password once it was hacked. So, the failure of adults using the system are now being blamed on a kid who pulled a prank, exposing the weaknesses in how the system was being used.

Paul R. Smith Middle School FAILS at network security in the same way they FAIL at how they manage their students. Y'all are a bunch of dumbfucks down there ain'cha?

Apr/11
2015

Friends and I went out to dinner last night. We walked in and had to wait for a table. A little while later, two women with three kids walk in. One of the kids is clearly sick, as in snot is running out of his nose. Then he starts coughing and he is too young to realize he should cover his mouth and the adults aren't interested enough to inform him. We kinda slid as far away as we could without blocking traffic or putting our butts in someone's face. We were asked it we wanted a booth, we wanted a table so declined, so snotty kid and company were seated first.

We muttered under our breath "and please make our table as far away from them as you can."

We eventually got our table, thankfully away from the little germ factory but still within view. Snot boy and little cohorts were not the tidiest eaters, either. Now I know why the women chose to take an obviously sick kid out rather than get take out: They wanted someone else to clean-up the mess.

I wonder how many snotty napkins the little booger left. Eww. Best not to think to much about that one.