May/03
2016

And then this happens.

ARLINGTON, Texas (AP) -- A young soldier shot and wounded his wife outside a Dallas-area store and then gunned down a father of three who grabbed his own gun and tried to make a citizen's arrest, authorities say.

So here's the thing: having a gun doesn't make you invulnerable. If some asshole is shooting then the RIGHT solution is to gtfo. The wrong solution is to try and take matters into your own hands.

Yes, having a gun can make you feel powerful, but it can't protect you the same way as avoiding the conflict altogether. Ergo: the solution to guns ISN'T more guns, rather it's minding your own fucking business and leaving the shooting to the professionals.

May/02
2016

Hint: It's fucking stupid. And wrong.

Over recent years, civil partnership dissolutions of lesbian couples have held steady at roughly twice the level of gay men's civil partnership dissolutions.

This concerns lesbian comedian and writer Rosie Wilby, who has researched attitudes to monogamy and open relationships for her stand-up shows.

"Straight women tend to have the luxury of having a female best friend, alongside a male partner," she says.

"Lesbians are expected to be best friends with their partner, so there's a whole heap more expectation on just one person. Then you lose that best friend every three or so years." (BBC)

For a gay comedienne that was one stupid fucking joke. First off, straight women JUST LIKE GAY WOMEN can have a best friend of EITHER gender, male or female. There's nothing fucking unusual to have your spouse be your best friend, guy, girl or whatever. Luxury? Bitch - what you really just said there is "Straight women get along better with other women over an extended period of time than gay women do."

Somehow I don't think that's what Rosie really meant to say.

But if gay women are divorcing at a higher rate than gay men then perhaps there is room for introspection within their community - having nothing whatsoever to do with being married or having friends. Frankly I'm not inclined to offer my reasoning on why lesbians divorce at a higher rate, mainly because it's their business. But I will point out the number of news articles about lesbian divorcees suing each other for custody and the utter dearth of gay men suing each other and running off to South America with the aid of their newly-acquired, born again community. Dunno, maybe it happens, only you really don't hear about it.

Anyway, Rosie, fuck you. That's a stupid fucking joke of a joke. Straight women don't have it over gay women when it comes to friendships and stable relationships. Also nothing prevents a gay woman from having another woman OR MAN as their best friend.

Get a grip ya dumb twat and don't dis your own community. Instead DO something about it.

May/01
2016

Who and I mean WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?

The US Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) has been criticised online for live-tweeting the killing of Osama Bin Laden as it happened five years ago.

It has shared details of the mission and intelligence that led to America's most wanted man being found.

But reaction has been largely negative, with one Twitter user calling the move "grotesque and embarrassing". (BBC)

I'm going to go out on a limb and say it was either someone at the top of the food chain or their significant other because there's no way an ordinary schmuck would even think this was a good idea much less actually have it happen.

So I'm thinking it's like this: some asshole who got promoted due to extreme incompetence (because that actually happens) either saw their kid tweeting or had their SO come over and say "Hey Bill/Mary/Jack/Sue know what would be a good idea? Why not use Twitter to LIVE STREAM they whole Bin Ladin takedown AS IF IT WERE LIVE! And to spice it up, WHY NOT THROW IN SOME SENSITIVE INFORMATION?!?!?!" So then Big Boss tells their flunkies this idea, and the flunkies - who are so aghast at the idea just stand there with their mouths open, unable to respond so Big Boss goes "See? I knew it was brilliant! Let's do this!" And suddenly it becomes a thing with a life of its own, something no one wants to say NO to because they know full fucking well how bad it's going to be.

It's hard to imagine why anyone would think this was a good thing in any way at all. I just hope whomever it can be attributed to will finally find another job, far and away from our government. Possibly even from our nation itself.

Goddamn but that's fucking stupid.

Apr/28
2016

Because they need, THEY NEED, to know just what you're packin' in your pants.

(CNN)Transgender people in Oxford, Alabama, could now face six months in jail for using restrooms labeled for the gender with which they identify.

The Oxford City Council passed an ordinance this week saying residents must use public restrooms corresponding with their biological sex. The move came after retail giant Target announced it would allow transgender employees and customers to use the restrooms they feel comfortable with.

Target has a store in Oxford, and residents told council members they were concerned about the store's policy, city attorney Ron Allen said.

I don't get the conservative freak-out over what a person has in their panties (or boxers). There's all this "ERMAHGERD MEN WILL PUT ON SKIRTS AND GO INTO THE LADIES AN MOLEST OUR DAUGHTERS". A. There's no evidence that this is even a THING. B. You already have male pedo's going after little boys, or doesn't anyone care about them? And C. I mean fuck, have you seen the women in Alabama? Perv or no perv. Ain't nobody wanna hit that.

Honestly, it's the latest litmus for ignorant. Pffft, smaller government, less invasion of privacy, bullshit. Really? UNLESS YOU'RE TRANSGENDER. Imho, who cares.

Apr/27
2016

And yet, it has to be documented as data supporting the reality of what we live with.

A two-year-old boy has accidentally shot and killed his mother in the US city of Milwaukee after finding a gun in the back of their car.

The woman, Patrice Price, had been driving a car owned by her security guard boyfriend who had left his gun in the car, her father Andre said.

Milwaukee police said she was shot once in the back while driving on a local highway on Tuesday morning(BBC)

Did you hear the one about the security guard not securing his weapon? It's so funny, it'll kill ya.

Apr/26
2016

Because Lawdie-lawd! It's a zombeh!

NASHVILLE, April 26 (UPI) -- A Tennessee man said he finds it "utterly ridiculous" that his homeowner's association is ordering him to remove his front-yard zombie statue after five years.

Jim Grinstead said he and his wife have occupied their Nashville home for nearly 10 years, and the zombie statue they affectionately dubbed "Clawed" has been in their front yard for the past five years.

He said he was surprised to receive a letter from the homeowners association ordering him to do away with the statue, which depicts the head and arms of a zombie climbing up out of the ground.

"During a recent inspection of the community on April 19, 2016, it was noted that there is a zombie in your yard that needs to be removed," the letter reads.

So the zombie in question is about maybe 8" tall, just a head and arms pulling itself out of the ground under a shrub. It's funnier than the stupid cement deer, gnomes, mushrooms and mary-in-a-bathtub. But it's gotta go because someone was OMFG OFENDED!

I feel bad for Jim. It was there for years until some tight-sphincter shitbag complained. Really the ASSociation should have told the complain-ee to go shove. But it's a bible state and all that shit. They'd probably invoke Jesus and then pass a law or something.

Apr/25
2016

Ah yes, blame the animal.

WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. (AP) -- A Florida zoo official says an employee who was killed by a tiger earlier this month didn't follow zoo policy.

Palm Beach Zoo CEO Andrew Aiken said in a statement posted Friday on Facebook that zoo policy prohibits zookeepers from entering an enclosure to which a tiger has access.

Stacey Konwiser, 38, was killed April 15 when a male Malayan tiger attacked her in the enclosure known as the night house, where tigers sleep and are fed. Aiken said Konwiser entered the part of the night house "after it was clearly designated as accessible by a tiger."

Of course the gonzo gun crowd are all besides themselves that the zoo decided NOT TO SHOOT THE TIGER. Like this asshole:

Yes, well, I?m glad I wasn?t there at the time of the attack. Can you imagine the sh*tstorm if I or another concealed carrier had fired a gun to save the keeper and killed a tiger or two? Times two if Ms. Konwiser had died anyway. The only person who?d be happy with that turn of events would be the dentist who shot and killed Cecil the Lion; he?d be grateful that someone finally took the heat for ?murdering? an ?innocent? animal. (Defensive Gun Use By Robert Farago)

He calls it "defensive" when the tiger is the one in the cage and it was the zoo keepers fault. But no, he's all about "LET'S SHEWT IT BECAUSE HURHURHUR."

So the tiger was just being a tiger, but it needs to die because a human got sloppy. And actually, if you read his post, he's almost salivating over the missed opportunity to be a "hero". Because guns solve all problems. Including ones that humans bring on themselves.

Whatta Dick.

Apr/24
2016

Translation: Men in Saudi Arabia are fucking assholes. A woman dared to speak out. How dare she. Quick, smear her.

It began when Haya al-Mani - one of the country's few female politicians - made an official proposal that women be given the right to drive. It's a well worn topic, but still a controversial issue in the country, and her suggestion was fiercely opposed by religious hardliners on Twitter.

One such opponent - Sa'id Hussein al-Zahrani - was keen to discredit al-Mani and posted a tweet about an article she had reportedly written more than 30 years ago about domestic labour.

"Do you know that Haya al-Mani, who advocates allowing women to drive, also called for replacing foreign maids with southerners" he tweeted. (BBC)

So Hussy, instead of arguing the topic at hand, trying to defend the indefensible argument that women shouldn't be allowed to drive, decided to go for the smear: OMG Saudi Women Should Clean. Wow. Yes, that's how arrogant and ignorant most Saudi's are, they actually believe that people from their country are SO exulted that CLEANING is something that only foreign slaves should do.

Seriously, you "people" are fucking pathetic. The fact that you can't wash your own clothes, cook your own food or do your own dishes is SAD. Not special. You were a bunch of troglodytes until oil was discovered and now you're a bunch of RICH troglodytes, no more enlightened by your money than before. It's hard to understand how a society who was given an astronomical amount of wealth couldn't use some of it to lift their thinking beyond the stone age. Yet, you managed. Props.

So here you are, filthy rich and filthy stupid at the same time. So rich that you can wallow in your ignorance and buy the hard work and abilities of foreigners to make it SEEM as if you're civilized. Well guess what? Someday that oil and money is going to run out and you'll be cleaning, cooking and washing for yourselves again.

Idiots.

Apr/23
2016

It might be random, but sometimes it's actually right.

NASHVILLE, Tenn. (AP) -- Tennessee has a state reptile, a state rock and a state song in the moonshine-themed "Rocky Top." For now, though, the Bible will not be its official state book.

Gov. Bill Haslam had vetoed a bill that would elevate the holy book's status, and lawmakers trying to override that veto fell seven votes short of the 50 they needed in the House on Wednesday. Only 43 members voted in favor of the bill after two hours of spirited - and spiritual - debate.

The Republican governor last week turned back the bill over constitutional concerns and because of concerns the measure "trivializes" what he considers a sacred text.[..]

Republican Rep. Jerry Sexton, a former Baptist minister who was the main House sponsor of the measure, urged colleagues to follow what he called the "will of the people" in rejecting the veto.

"It doesn't force anyone to read it, it doesn't force anyone to buy it, it doesn't force anyone to believe it," said Sexton, a former Baptist minister. "It's simply symbolic."

The Bible shouldn't be ANY state's book in America. The argument that it's merely symbolic is correct but NOT as justification - because it's symbolic of the fact that certain lawmakers in Tennessee believe that only people who agree with said text should be respected. It's a slap in the face to everyone who doesn't. It's also NOT FUCKING LEGAL EITHER.

Lawmakers in both chambers had passed the bill despite a warning by the state's attorney general that it would violate both the U.S. and Tennessee constitutions, the latter of which states that "no preference shall ever be given, by law, to any religious establishment or mode of worship."

I don't think it will ever happen, but I sincerely hope that once most of the boomers croak that we'll get off this religious-conservative-hate-everyone-not-like-me kick. It's a dream I guess, but I'll hang on to it. In the mean time I'll celebrate the little victories, like states that DON'T fucking make their religion a secular mandate.

Apr/22
2016

Even statistically this was going to happen. Thing is, we could reduce these statistics but hell no, that's just not fucking cool.

INDIANAPOLIS (AP) -- Indianapolis police say a 2-year-old boy shot and killed himself after taking a gun from his mother's purse on the kitchen counter when she wasn't watching.

Because everyone has to have one. Because it's cool. Because we're all afraid. Because *I* won't make a mistake. Because it's my right. Because I may need to overthrow the government someday. Because it makes me feel like a badass. Because only the bad guys have them. Because money. Because power. Because fear.

Because when it really comes down to it, I want what I want and fuck everyone else. Even my kids.

Apr/21
2016

Lo, dost thou ears detect that singular warble of the ruby-throated howler monkey? Indeed thou probably dost.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Harriet Tubman, an African-American abolitionist who was born a slave, will stand with George Washington, Abraham Lincoln and Benjamin Franklin among the iconic faces of U.S. currency.

The $20 bill will be redesigned with Tubman's portrait on the front, marking two historic milestones, Treasury Secretary Jacob Lew announced Wednesday. Tubman will become the first African-American on U.S. paper money and the first woman to be depicted on currency in 100 years.

Ok, so there's a certain irony that the first woman on US paper currency is going to -share- that bill with the old poster-boy, but yes at least it's a step forward in acknowledging that women did SOMETHING to contribute to American history. I mean it's not like there were women pilgrims, or women who helped our nation during times of war, or women who represented a major cause or movement that helped evolve our society. Nope, basically white men came here, fought the Indians (also, no women there) and built this nice society so women could move in and enjoy the liberties, freedoms and overall comfy living that we have today.

Did you buy that? I also have a bridge to sell you.

So here it is: just because the history books have been written by and for the white, male, patriarchal America does not mean that women are not worthy of recognition. Women are worthy, and adding ONE woman to our paper currency will not mean the end of the world, rather it means that opposite - that we, as a nation, can change and adapt, we can acknowledge the contributions of a gender that accounts for 50% of the population. Perhaps women haven't been documented for the contributions they've made, but no one can say America would be what it is without women. And putting a woman on ONE side of ONE bill is a small step towards recognizing and celebrating that contribution.

As for the conservative howler monkeys, well I guess there's a certain irony that someone who fought slavery will be on the opposite side as a slave holder. But then times, they are a'changin' aren't they?

Apr/20
2016

Kristi Merritt is stupid. Lucky for most it's pretty apparent from her posts just how stupid she is.

idiot

So here's the thing: putting on a dress or not putting on a dress has NOTHING to do with being a woman. Equating wearing a dress to being a woman shows just how ignorant and shallow the arguments against transgender people are (not to mention the stupid-ass stereotype of a sombrero and tortilla chips analogy, which is basically an ignorant mockup of Mexican culture.)

Still Kristi, I applaud the fact that you put yourself out there to get your 15 minutes of fame AND a decade of loathing which you solidly deserve.

Here's the thing, sure stupid people can vote and yes they can vote for other stupid people who will make stupid laws. Then the smart people (because most judges have to be at least smart enough to be lawyers, I know that's not saying much, but that's still a college degree and the bar exam) have to waste their time (and tax payer dollars) to repeal the stupid laws.

So no, wearing a dress doesn't make you a woman, something that millions of non-dress-wearing, cunt-endowed women will probably attest to. KNOWING that you're a woman makes you a woman. Just like posting stupid, trite shit won't make you smart, correct or witty. It will make you look fucking stupid though, which I guess is truth in advertising.

Apr/19
2016

Know what? I'm gonna go watch me some porn right after writing this post. Why? Because I still CAN.

The US state of Utah has become the first to declare pornography a public health risk in a move its governor says is to "protect our families and our young people".

The bill does not ban pornography in the mainly Mormon state.

However, it calls for greater "efforts to prevent pornography exposure and addiction". (BBC)

Wow go Utah, you give the lip service (not the fun, kinky kind, rather the waste of public dollars kind) to a problem that isn't a problem. And while addiction is a very real thing, PORN ADDICTION has yet to be classified as either real OR a real problem.

Pornography, the bill says, "perpetuates a sexually toxic environment" and "is contributing to the hypersexualisation of teens, and even prepubescent children, in our society".

Further steps must be taken to change "education, prevention, research, and policy change at the community and societal level" against what it calls an epidemic, but it does not suggest how changes should be implemented.

That's an amazing amount of bullshit, even from Utah. I'm sure the pure irony is how much Utah lawmakers spend on porn. I'm guessing it's not "zero". Truthfully it's not the affront to morality that irks Utah, it's the fact that they're not getting a cut of the lucrative industry. I read one dipshit complaining about how ALL THAT MONEY isn't being spent on food for the poor. Really? Take a look at that shiny, fancy church y'all have and tell me about what could have been spent on the poor.

Sexually toxic environment? FROM A STATE THAT IS STILL FIGHTING CHILD BRIDES? Do tell. Hypersexualization of teens? Yeah, the music industry has nothing to say about that. Or daytime TV. No, that's really porn's problem. Yep. I can't wait to see those "further steps" that will be taken.

Maybe when President Cruz bans all sex toys (oh wait, now he says he won't... probably) Utah can line up for federal funding to fight the EVIL EPIDEMIC of human fascination with sex. While still having as many babies as humanly possible.

Goddamn that's some stupid shit.

Now, do I want some traffic cone porn? Or farm on farm animals? Ah, the choices are endless...

Apr/18
2016

Let me clarify, this is specifically directed at David Fowler of "Family Action Council of Tennessee" (aka Satanists).

We join the thousands of parents across the state who are profoundly disappointed that at this point in the process Rep. Lynn has decided not to proceed with a bill that would have simply protected the privacy of the children they have entrusted to our public schools," Fowler said in a statement. (AP)

The bill in question was the same sort of bill that has cost North Carolina millions in revenues: it's a bill designed to discriminate against transgender individuals.

NASHVILLE, Tenn. (AP) -- A transgender bathroom bill in the Tennessee legislature failed Monday after the House sponsor said she was withdrawing the legislation while waiting to see how legal challenges play out in other states that have passed similar measures.

Ok, let's start with the facts since that's always a good place to start: to date how many transgender men (or women) have been arrested for perving in a bathroom in Tennessee? Answer: none. That contrasts with the number of male who have perved on little boys in churches, bathrooms, locker rooms, etc. So the problem ISN'T with transgender women using a women's room, the problem is with the religious-assholeists who like to masquerade as the "average citizen" and the "moral majority". Both of which are outright bullshit, since neither have an ounce of truth to them.

Shitbags like Fowler like to push a fake crisis on others for their own benefit, their own publicity and their own financial gain. Public schools are not in any more danger now than previously with respect to transgender villains. If anything Public schools are in danger of coaches ignoring abuse of students by other students of the same birth gender on sports teams (there's plenty of news articles to support that.) And yet Fowler doesn't care if the varsity teams rapes freshmen with brooms, they care about the statistically invisible transgender woman suddenly deciding to be a voyeur in the women's locker room.

"I feel very passionately about this issue," [Rep. Lynn] said. "I really believe that boys should just use the boys' room and girls should use the girls' room."

Sure they should. Only the definition of boy and girl should be left to the PERSON, not to the lawmaker.

Apr/15
2016

While it's not nice to make fun of the retarded kids, SHE who-will-not-be-named, does just a fine job of making fun of herself. Case in point.

WASHINGTON, April 15 (UPI) -- Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin slammed Bill Nye's view on climate change, saying he does not have the scientific chops to say climate-change skeptics are wrong.[..]

"Bill Nye is as much a scientist as I am," Palin told the gathering. "He's a kids' show actor. He's not a scientist."

First, if STUPID-TWAT (short version of: S.W.W.N.B.N) could use a computer STUPID-TWAT would know that Mr. Nye has a degree in Mechanical Engineering which is (DUNDUNDUN).... SCIENCE.

STUPID-TWAT of course doesn't have a science degree so maybe she doesn't know that the people who design bridges, planes, build tunnels, replacement hip joints, air craft carriers, toasters and cars are scientists. Only the practical sort because you know... it's APPLIED (rather than theoretical).

Second, STUPID-TWAT can't even form a reasonable sentence, which makes one question if she's educated at the high-school level at all (not questioning that she has the degree, just if she actually learned anything in school.)

Case in motherfuking point right here:

"They have studied the data that they are erroneously delivering to the public to make us think that we can somehow change the weather." she said. "How they do that is to grow government and allow the government to have more control over us, our homes, our businesses, our families, our lives, and it's quite unfortunate because these people must be purposely doing this, right? Because they are smart enough to know better."

Stupidity example 1: "they are erroneously delivering to the public". Data might be considered "erroneously" delivered IF it were not intended for public consumption. An example of data in this category would be classified materials. I'm guessing she meant to say "misleading" but thought that "erroneously" sounded smarter. Hur, hur, hur.

Stupidity example 2: "allow the government to have more control over us, our homes, our businesses, our families, our lives..." Actually this might be more of a pot-kettle example. Like say government making a law CHECKING WHAT WE HAVE IN OUR PANTS BEFORE CHOOSING A RESTROOM. Or abortion. Or marriage. I could go on...

Stupidity example 3: "quite unfortunate because these people must be purposely doing this" so, it's unfortunate that people with jobs to check on the health of the planet are doing their jobs by alerting us to the dangers? Right. Very unfortunate. Damn those conscientious scientists. Damn them to hell.

Honestly if it weren't for the fact that STUPID-TWAT was so bloggable I would be happy to never to hear from her ass-brain-drivel-snot-diarrhea rhetoric again.

Apr/14
2016

Man, I'm just tired and annoyed. There's this guy I knew from a few gigs ago. He was just as disgruntled as I was when I left to do the start up thing. He stuck it out a little while longer before he split himself. He lasted a short span of time at his next position before ditching THAT to wind up at where I am now. And... he wasn't happy there, either. He moved on to his third new job in the span of what... three years?

My pissy attitude comes from the notion that this guy has been flushing away gainful employment while I was pulling teeth to get into the position where I am now. It's not that our skill-set is any different. I'm guessing he interviews better. Or something. I don't know. I'm really bitter. I mean - there's kids starving and he's throwing away food.

The thing is - where I am now - it's really amazingly easy. There's the every day challenge, and the codebase is a horrible, twisted mess. But it is so easy for the paycheck (which is solid). There's really no reason to quit other than, I don't know, you don't like being a code monkey.

There. I said it. Code monkey. But whatever.

Fuck Rockstars
And while so many of my cronies are doing the "Senior"-this or "Lead"-that and sharing all of the really smart blogposts or commenting on the next trends in user experience design, I'm just giving less and less of a fuck because I know it's all so incredibly stupid. Good design, good code, meaningful experiences - it's all bullshit when it comes down to one thing - will your product sell? It does? Then good. Keep going and try to do good work. The rest barely matters any more.

Just get out my way with the bullshit, let me write some code and get on with my life.

Apr/13
2016

I recently heard the French referred to as "surrender monkeys" and while that's not entirely relevant it is funny.

A Paris tribunal has ruled that calling a male hairdresser a "faggot" is not homophobic - "because hair salons regularly employ gay people". (BBC)

Yes, that's the actual quote - a male hairdresser was called a fag in a text message from the owner (while he was being fired for having stayed home with the flu.) So the former employee took the owner to court for discrimination and what? The court said "Well, it wasn't a slur because so many gay people DO work in salons."

Really. Really?

It's hard to imagine anyone that stupid being a judge, not to mention three of them, but if I had to imagine that such people existed anywhere I guess I'd have to say that France seems as if it would be their home.

Sorry, why are you guys in the EU again?