Sep/22
2014

Actually that's false. He has a dick. See illustration.

It all began last week with The Times of India publishing a photo and tweet about actress Deepika Padukone's cleavage.

"OMG: Deepika Padukone's cleavage show," the paper tweeted alongside a photo of her from an event last year.

The actress hit back angrily, tweeting: " YES! I am a Woman. I have breasts AND a cleavage! You got a problem!!??".

It was re-tweeted more than 7,000 times and the #IStandWithDeepikaPadukone became India's top Twitter trend for hours on the day.

The newspaper deleted the tweet, but tried to mollify her, replying "It's a compliment! You look so great that we want to make sure everyone knew! :)" (BBC)

So who is Jaideep and why does his (manly) anatomy relate? He is the Editor in Chief of the Times of India and obviously he has no problem with publishing cheap shots to make money.

So... while it may not make WoS any money it certainly does make us feel a whole lot better. Of course no penises were harmed during the making of this post, mainly because none were found. Maybe if we had used a microscope?

Sep/21
2014

Would you like a side of sarcasm with that?

Apple iPhone and iPad users have taken to social media to express their frustration over installing the company's latest software update.

Many have resorted to deleting photos, videos and other files in order to free up space for the new version of Apple's mobile operating system, iOS8, which requires up to 5.8GB of storage.

Apple has also removed apps for its new health software because of a bug.

One expert said Apple's updates were often prone to "teething problems".(BBC)

So here's the thing: "teething problems" is just a poor way to admit you DIDN'T DO THE PROPER QA BEFORE A MAJOR RELEASE. It's also pure, unadulterated bullshit. Given how much money Apple has there's no bloody excuse in the world for not preparing, testing and vetting a release before going live. That, coupled with the fact that no other phone has as much knowledge about users and their phones, means that Apple is happy to take your money and not put the time and effort needed into making a continuous and reliable user experience.

iOS users? You're all just bitches to Apple. For a lot more money. Whaaaaa.

Sep/20
2014

Christianity is based on forgiveness, understanding and respect of fellow-man. Conservatives by their own assessment are the farthest and lest capable practitioners of Christianity in the world today. Mostly they're just hateful assholes.

According to the Pew, 59% of "consistently conservative" respondents rated religious faith as the most important value to teach children, versus 11% of "consistently liberal" respondents. Obedience (15%) is the second-most common choice among conservatives.

For liberals qualities like empathy for others (34%), curiosity (23%) and tolerance (22%) were considered most important. (BBC)

So here it is: being a good Christian means "following orders". That's it. Not thinking, not feeling, not questioning merely following what someone tells you to do. Anyone else see the failure in that? I know I certainly do. Especially when the person giving those orders is someone who winds up in jail for embezzling, humping the secretary, or boffing other men in a bathroom stall and then lying about it (note, I have no problems with the boffing other men part but I'm the liberal-tolerant type.)

As for tolerance, 88% of consistently liberal respondents said it was important, while only 41% of conservatives agreed.

So really when it comes right down to brass tacks liberals are the true Christians while conservative are only Christians in name, because less than half actually follow what is probably the single most important tenant of their faith.

As a liberal atheist that probably makes me the pinnacle of humanity. I believe in tolerance and respect. Funny that.

Sep/19
2014

It's amazing how quickly the Catholic church kicks their own to the curb when it suits them. It's heartwarming, really.

PHILADELPHIA (AP) -- An assistant coach at a Roman Catholic high school has resigned over his role in a beating that left two gay men injured, church officials in Philadelphia said Thursday.

Of course their anti-gay teachings, their vitriol against homosexuals had nothing, NOTHING whatsoever to do with his behavior. No, this was merely a rogue agent acting on his own.

"Violence against anyone, simply because of who they are, is inexcusable and alien to what it means to be a Christian," Archbishop Charles Chaput said Thursday in a statement.[..]

The large group included former students at Archbishop Wood, located in the Philadelphia suburb of Warminster, the archdiocese said. The part-time coach had worked at the same school but now is banned from coaching anywhere in the archdiocese, the church said.

So this large group of former students from a Catholic educational institution weren't practicing what they were taught when they assaulted and battered two gay men. HA FUCKING HA HA HA. As if. Catholics are taught to despise, demean and denigrate others as SOP. That Archbishop Cha-Cha is aghast at this "un-christian" behavior is a great example that even lying is condoned when it's done to Protect One's A$$.

That catholic churches should take this to heart as a "teachable moment" is absurd. The only way products of catholic education will learn is if and when same-sex marriage becomes law in all 50 nations, and probably at least two decades thereafter.

The church teaches it's flock that outsiders, especially gay and atheist outsiders, are evil. They should be held responsible for the effect this teaching has on their students. Well, maybe once they get done purging their pedophiles first.

Sep/18
2014

Dulles is a cattle casting call. Huge, crowded, hot and smelly. The product of all passengers being crammed through a tiny space smaller than the Space shuttle. It's a fucking zoo. So there's lots to see as you funnel through the TSA checkpoint. The guy with the British accent politely asking to cut 70 plus people because his flight was boarding. The (probably) Israeli tourist trying to line jump (and getting shut down like a little bitch.) The woman with the nose ring attached to her upper lip stud by a thin chain which kept tangling as she complained about being screened for explosives on her iPhone. Then there was the 50 something dressed like a 20 something hipster. Little tutu skirt, corset belt, and hip length blonde locks adorned with sparkly butterflies. There was also the race car checkered finger and toe nails. She set off the detector 4 times in a row. First divested her of her gaudy dime store baubles. The second was the corset (which came off a lot faster than I'd expected. ) Third was additional metal and sandles. As I passed out of earshot I heard her explaining the she had "metal hair extensions".

She caught up though. She's sitting in the chair next to mine at the gate. Yeah she's probably so vain that she'd think this blog was about her. That is if she knew I was blogging.

Postscript, she also snorts when she laughs. I know this because she's sitting directly in front of me on the flight.

Sep/17
2014

...is a rabid feminist president. It'll demonstrate that there actually is something scarier than a black president.

Sep/16
2014

The conference is literally in the middle of nowhere. That's not so bad really. I've been a lot of places for a lot of random stuff. That's okay. What's not okay is being told to put away my computer away and "pay attention" like an infant. Avoid side conversations, sure, that can be rude, but monitoring my notes? Ignore my phone (which is on mute) sorry no. Your meeting is not worth my job, family or sanity.

Already the blah blah blah has started. I have my elections on. Who is going to stop me?

Sep/15
2014

Ok yeah, I'm a city person, suburban at best maybe, but being out here in the veritable wilderness of West Virginia is creeping me the fuck out. People stare. It's like they've never seen another person before, or maybe just one that smiles, or perhaps wears a collared shirt (and doesn't work at a gas station.) You know it's funny, but not fitting in is the desired thing when you live in more populous places while over here it makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up.

It's not like I'm going to block the entrance to my room with a chair tonight. Ok, maybe I will, but I'm not feeling the least bit intimidated, really, not at all.

On second thought maybe I shouldn't have asked them to switch my room...

Sep/14
2014

I thought about the title of this post because I wanted something more precise. In the end I decided the simplest interpretation is still the best.

JEFFERSON CITY, Mo., Sept. 11 (UPI) -- Missouri legislators implemented one of the most restrictive U.S. abortion laws Wednesday, requiring women to wait 72 hours before terminating a pregnancy.[..]

If "you get a couple of more days to think about this pregnancy, think about where it's going, you may change your mind" about having an abortion, said state Rep. Kathie Conway, R-St. Charles.

"If you get a couple more days..." really? If WHO gets a couple more days? The woman who has already decided HER future or the fucking assholes who believe that interfering with her life is their prerogative? Your wording, Kath-IE strikes me as willfully ignorant at best and heinously evil at most accurate. Forcing women to endure something they don't want isn't an act of humanity, it's an act of slavery. Let's explore:

"If you get a couple more days to..."

a. wait in line at the security checkpoint
b. get attention in the emergency room
c. pick your child up from day care
d. be tortured by evil people

See Kath, a "couple more days" isn't always what's needed or required. Sometimes immediacy counts.

But I'm sure you know that and EVEN knowing as a woman you have no problem with turning a blind eye to another woman's suffering because it suits you. I sure wonder how well it would suit you were the shoe on the other foot. Tell you what. Let's start slow. Howabout you spend those "couple more days" at the TSA checkpoint. Let me know if that helped YOU make up your mind. About anything. Anything at all.

Sep/13
2014

I have a message to any marketing folks who use the acronym "BOGO" in their advertising: it doesn't work on me. In fact it doesn't work to the point where I actually delete the email, look away from the ad, pass by the store if I even see it. There's no fucking reason in the world that "buy one, get one" needs to be abbreviated, it's not even a complete sentence.

I'm not certain what the attraction is to shortening mindless catchphrases into even smaller, even more mindless acronyms but if it keeps up our language will disappear into a black hole of compressed stupidity so dense that not even a selfie can escape. Harbingers of doom? Probably. Aliens will discover our ruins and ponder the implications of these mysterious yet evil encryptions and wonder how it doomed our race...

Sep/12
2014

Imagine you are in a tall building. Imagine it is the tallest building in the area. You've been listen to the news recounting the events of September 11, 2001 while getting ready for and commuting into work. The time that the second tower at the old World Trade Center collapsed 13 years ago has just passed.

Then imagine the alarm goes off to evacuate the building. However, the alarm is rescinded minutes later, after someone has tripped in the stairwell and fell. Evidently, the alarm had malfunctioned and it does unexpected things later in the day.

Shitty day for an alarm malfunction. Good day to put people on the edge. Thankfully no one got hurt, at least not badly. Hopefully the the person who fell didn't break anything.

Sep/11
2014

There's a clear difference in the messages...

NEW YORK (AP) -- The Catholic League said Thursday that it will sit out next year's St. Patrick's Day Parade in New York because event organizers aren't letting an anti-abortion group march.[..]

[Catholic League president, Bill] Donohue, meanwhile, said parade organizers had promised him that if a gay group could march under its own banner, a Catholic anti-abortion group would be included also.

Ok so here's the thing Bill, people love a parade. They like happy. They like silly. They even like rainbows. People hugging and carousing for a positive, inclusive message is ok. What they DON'T like are fucktards carrying billboards with blood, entrails and hatred. An aborted fetus is kinda buzzkill for most folks. So yeah, really, your anti-woman, misogynistic message has no place in a happy-parade.

So fuck off.

Sep/10
2014

By now almost everyone has heard of the Ebola outbreak, and almost equally everyone has heard of the "miracle cure" for the handful of foolish American missionaries who have had their faith reaffirmed, not by god, but by science. The thought will now be "well clearly god wanted me to get Ebola so I could come back and get cured," or some other fantastical bullshit that credits not the labs and people who did the research but this lovely, credit-less notion of the "all powerful".

Frankly I'd rather them test that "all powerful" theory outside the US of A.

America has set a very dangerous precedent on several fronts: first - that Americans should ignore messages from their government to stay the fuck away from bad places; second - that science deserves no credit when it comes to cures; third - that America is the place to go when you're sick with a deadly and contagious disease. All of these things are insanely dangerous, because if one religious lulu decides it's OK to come home with Ebola through their own route (because, you know, god will protect them and everyone else) we're all fucking-fucked.

I note, with some displeasure, that Ebola is being treated differently than SARs. At no point have I heard the panic-inducing word: pandemic. To me this makes a huge mistake, encouraging zanies who want to test their beliefs to take unconscionable risks and everyone else to say "well ok, see? we had a few people with Ebola come back and it was no big deal." It may have appeared not to be a big deal but the cost of transporting and caring for these handful probably amounted to millions.

We need to stop feeding ourselves and the world false hope. Coming to America isn't a "cure" and the cost isn't "free". The risks are far too high not to make a bigger deal of preventing and denying access to those infected. We have islands that can be fully quarantined. If we have to, let's set up hospital facilities there, not here on the mainland. Prevention is always better than a cure.

Sep/09
2014

Because it's still illegal in this country to be a woman in charge of your own body.

DANVILLE, Pa. (AP) -- A Pennsylvania woman has been sentenced to prison for helping to end her teen daughter's pregnancy by giving her pills purchased online.

The (Bloomsburg) Press Enterprise reports that 39-year-old Jennifer Ann Whalen of Washingtonville was sentenced Friday to nine to 18 months behind bars after pleading guilty to performing an illegal abortion.

Whalen bought the pills from a European drug firm after the girl had gotten pregnant, but did not want to have the child. Whalen told authorities they couldn't find a local clinic to perform an abortion, and the girl had no insurance to pay for a hospital stay.

So a woman is sentenced to a year in prison for enabling her daughter to have an abortion she is entitled to by law but cannot afford financially. Yes, great country we live in, sure ain't no discriminatin' goin' on here. Newp. Nosiree!

Instead of criminalizing the actions of desperate women, why not (GASP) allow access to safe and affordable care? Oh wait that costs money doesn't it? You have to love the Catch-22: it costs nothing to get pregnant but it can cost your freedom to get out of it.

FUCK YOU PENNSYLVANIA.

Sep/08
2014

It's low-hanging fruit, but it's poisoned. And the whole notion demonstrates how embarrassingly ignorant republicans really are.

WHEAT RIDGE, Colo. (AP) -- Democratic Sen. Mark Udall went after his opponent's proposal for over-the-counter birth control Friday, bringing big names to a suburban Denver battleground to argue that Rep. Cory Gardner's plan doesn't make him the "new kind of Republican" he has been claiming to be in ads.[..]

A Gardner spokesman insisted the birth-control proposal is genuine and reflects Gardner's consumer-centric approach to health care.

"Making oral contraception available to adults at every pharmacy, without the trouble of a doctor's visit, would drop the retail price and save money, time and hassle," Gardner spokesman Matt Connelly said in a statement.

Apparently women aren't patients to Gardner, they're "consumers". Had the dipshit actually done his homework he would have discovered that birth control isn't like Flintstone's vitamins. You need a prescription BECAUSE there are different pills for different types of needs. What women really need is affordable access to private, personal health care. NOT a trip to fucking Costco for a jumbo-bottle of lady-pills.

It's just more proof that conservatives don't "get it". They see women as chattel that needs servicing and maintenance every 5,000 fucks or so. What next? Gyn services at BJs? Getcher tires changed with every oil and lube on the wife or girlfriend! No coupon required!

Sep/07
2014

Ms. Michelle has some news for all of us: kids like to run around. She also has another novel idea: kids should be allowed to run around wherever and whenever they choose because "that's what's best for them."

Art galleries are no longer places of reverent observation and hushed whispers. Many institutions increasingly court families with young children and some have developed immersive and interactive displays. The Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York and Tate Modern in London both offer child-friendly exhibits and activities, and suggest itineraries for their tiniest visitors. ?It?s OK to talk at Tate!? says the latter in its visiting tips for families.[..]

Art galleries offer adults a rare chance to stand still and contemplate ? something that would surely be lost if they became emphatically kid-orientated as museums. But imposing a formal code of behaviour on children is bound to become more and more unrealistic, when they are so often allowed to run around and explore in other places. Grown-ups may just have to learn to share exhibition space with these unpredictable little visitors. (BBC)

Ok so 1. Fuck you, I'm not "sharing my space" with brats who can't be controlled. and 2. Learning discipline and respect are a key part of maturing, something essential for a socially adept adult to master. What Michelle wants is freedom from parenting, not any sort of social evolution. Imposing a "formal" code is essential if the young master and mistresses are to behave civilly towards each other when they have jobs, drive on the freeway, board a train, ride a bus, or fly on a plane. Patience is a SKILL not something that magically pops into being after a childhood of running screaming through the Louvre.

It irks me that this BBC Blogger hasn't the writing skills to even formulate a good argument for her hypothesis, it comes across as a weaksauce retort many pedantic paragraphs after describing the status quo in sarcastic terms. "Oh in the OLD days galleries were place for quiet contemplation and enjoyment of art, but that's so passe, we're modern people in modern times! Everything should be selfies and fun! Pablum! Candy crush and Frozen fantasies! Because that's what kids like, and thus so should we all.

Please bitch. Grow up. And even if you can't maybe your kids can if you just let society do the work for you.

Sep/06
2014

I know it's hard to be IT support no matter where you are, but when your users treat you with respect it's NOT ok to treat them like infants.

The network was fucked today. The fact that I was locked out before I even sat down first thing in the morning should have been a strong indicator. That it took more than 10 minutes to reach someone at support was the second. So I had a really hard time believing the tech who told me "Oh no, it's just you." Now mind you I'm a good do-bee, I did everything I could before I even called. Reboots, logging on from a different computer. Re-installing my certs. 15 minutes after the first call to support I'm locked out of my mail and then out of my computer. It happens again about an hour later. Again several hours after that. The whole time the network is twitching and spasming like a gazelle being gutted by a pack of lions.

You can get to Google. You can't. You can get to the intranet. You can't. Rinse and repeat, repeat, repeat.

Every time I call I ask "can you tell me when the network is going to be stable so I know when I can reliably get my work done?" The first 3 times I'm told "there's nothing wrong, honey, it's just you." The fuck? Really? Not from what I can tell from the frustrations of others around me. I DON'T GODDAM WORK IN A SEALED BOX YOU DIPSHITS.

The best one was when I explained that I knew there was a network problem and I shouldn't worry because "there was nothing wrong with my com-pu-tar." I took a deep breath, "Clearly we're not communicating here," I replied, "thanks for the help bye." I hung up. Of course what I really wanted to say was more like "Don't jerk me around you fucking douchebag, I'm not some fucking imbecile, I have a tech degree and GUESS WHAT I PROBABLY KNOW MORE ABOUT COM-PU-TARS THAN YOU DO." Yes I may not know all the configs for our intranet, nor when patches are going out and the potential side effects but I rarely call support unless it's something serious.

The only thing serious was the lack of honesty I was getting over the phone.

When I called the final time, after getting locked out for the 5th happy moment of my life in one day, I asked "So, any word when the network is going to be back up and stable again?" "No, we don't know that yet," came the proper reply.

At that point I gave up and went home.